THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: King Corn (S6E13)

THE WEST WING
6x13 - “KING CORN”
WRITTEN BY JOHN WELLS
DIRECTED BY ALEX GRAVES

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

KING CORN

Patsy Cline’s ‘Walking After Midnight’ plays as we FADE IN on a montage of restaurant and hotel signs, many of them emblazoned with ‘Welcome Iowa Corn Growers.’ 

CUT TO: EXT. - SNOWY CITY STREET – NIGHT

A car pulls up outside a Holiday Inn.

CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA

DONNA gets out of the car. The driver, TREVOR, gets out to help with her suitcase.

TREVOR
You gonna need me in the morning?

DONNA
I’ll call Mindy if I do.

TREVOR
Okay.

DONNA
Thanks.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT

DONNA walks up to the front desk, dragging a suitcase behind her.

DONNA
Hey – anything for 412?

WEDNESDAY 12:55 AM

DESK CLERK (handing DONNA a long FedEx package)
Mr. Bailey is still in the cafe.

DONNA
Thanks. Good night.

DESK CLERK (as DONNA heads to the cafe)
5:45 wake up call?

DONNA
Yeah, or you could just have someone come to my room and hit me over the head with a mallet or something.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CAFE – NIGHT

WILL is having a strategy session with a large group of staffers. DONNA walks up to join them.

WILL
We got a name for the hog roast yet?

CHRISTINE
Um, Pig Out with Bob?

ROGER (to DONNA)
Hey, how was South Carolina?

DONNA
Southern.

WILL
How’d the donor conferences go?

DONNA
Heard a couple hundred ideas about how Democrats can take back the South and scooped up the checks.

ROGER
Don’t be a tease …

DONNA
Half a million.

ROGER
Wow!

WILL
Hey, nice!
 
DONNA
When’s the VP coming in?

ROGER
Air Force 2 is wheels down at 9:30.

DONNA (to WILL)
Where do you want me?

WILL
We need to pack the stage for Thursday’s debate with five or six fringe candidates, Christine’ll help you.

STAFFER (handing some papers to WILL)
Here you go, Will.

CHRISTINE
We’ve got, uh, two recently released federal inmates, an airline mechanic, two men over the age of 80, comedian, a nun -

ROGER
Don’t forget Jennifer James.

WILL, CHRISTINE, and ROGER talk over one another.

CHRISTINE
One guy’s entire platform -

WILL
Porn star.

ROGER
That girl’s got talent.

CHRISTINE
- is, uh, -

WILL
And stamina.

CHRISTINE
- tax cut for anyone who adopts a pet and has them neutered.

DONNA
And why do we want them in the debates, aside from, you know, the neutering thing?

WILL
Hoynes was hoping to be alone on that stage with the VP. The more wackos we put around him, the more Hoynes looks like just another clown. (to all) Okay, morning staff at 6:30.

CHRISTINE, ROGER and the other staffers get up to head to their rooms. DONNA moves into the booth across from WILL.

WILL
How was it?

DONNA
Good. Pool in Charleston was nice.

WILL
You had time to swim?

DONNA
No, but it looked nice. We really going to call them Bob’s Boulders?

WILL
They keep signing those checks, I don’t care if they call themselves the Flying Wallendas. Half a million – not bad for two days of rolling with the Boulders. (getting up to leave) Night.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT

DONNA walks past a sign reading ‘JOHN DEERE WELCOMES IOWA CORN GROWERS’ as she heads to the elevator. We hear the Johnny Cash song ‘Green, Green Grass of Home’ playing on the hotel speakers. DONNA steps inside the elevator and pushes the button for the 4th floor. As the door nearly closes, JOSH rushes up outside and tries to get his arm in before it shuts.

JOSH
Uh, can you hold the elevator?

DONNA (from inside, as the door stops and opens again)
I’m sorry, I didn’t …

JOSH (speaking into his cell phone)
Yeah, uh, if we can’t afford at least 200 points out of Boston, we gotta find another way -

JOSH enters the elevator and realizes it’s DONNA inside.

JOSH (into phone)
Stuart, will you, uh, call me back in five? Thanks. (he hangs up)

DONNA
I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the button.

JOSH
No … uh, will you hit four?

DONNA points at the indicator, with the light for the 4th floor already lit. The door closes and the elevator goes up. JOSH and DONNA stand uncomfortably quiet, Johnny Cash singing in the background. JOSH finally speaks.

JOSH
Just get back?

DONNA
Yeah. South Carolina.

JOSH
How’s it going for you guys down there?

DONNA
We’re closing in on Hoynes. (pause) You?

JOSH
We’re focusing on New Hampshire right now.

Another uncomfortable silent pause as the elevator continues. Finally the bell dings and the door opens, and JOSH and DONNA both rush out. As they turn to go down the same hallway, they both stop and look at one another. They then continue side-by-side.

JOSH
So, where did you stay? In South Carolina?

DONNA
Marriott. Charleston.

JOSH
Oh, they got that nice-looking pool.

DONNA steps ahead of JOSH and reaches her room, 412. As she picks up an envelope outside her door, JOSH stops at the door directly across the hall and picks up an envelope as well. They both take out their key cards to go inside their rooms.

DONNA
So … good night.

JOSH
Yeah. See you.

DONNA gets her door open, then sees JOSH having trouble getting his key card to unlock his door.

DONNA
You’re doing it too fast.

DONNA crosses the hall to help JOSH.

JOSH
I get, I get frequent flier miles every time I swipe …

DONNA swipes the key card and the door opens. She hands the card back to JOSH and he enters the room.

JOSH
So much for the Bermuda trip.

DONNA gives JOSH a look as she goes into her room.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

JOSH tosses his bags down, sitting on his bed and scratching his head. He thinks a moment.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT

JOSH’s door opens and he strides across the hall. He is about to knock on DONNA’s door when he stops himself. He stands there – then he hears his own door close and lock behind him. He slowly walks back to his door; he swipes his key card too quickly a couple of times, then tries more slowly. The door unlocks and he goes back inside. We see him put the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on the door handle and he closes the door as we hear ‘Green, Green Grass of Home’ end.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY

A telephone is ringing. We see DONNA, asleep in her bed, the phone ringing next to her. She groggily reaches over and grabs the handset.

DONNA (into phone)
Yeah?

RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.

DONNA hangs up the phone and turns on the lamp.

WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM

DONNA pulls on a sweater and turns on the TV. As we see her prepare for the day – getting her freshly charged cell phone, wearing socks and moving a towel under her feet on the bathroom floor, brushing her teeth, starting a pot of coffee, turning on the shower – we hear the TV news anchor.

NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. She’s been sentenced to death for her crime. The conviction of the young woman comes at a precarious time for Turkey, who has, until recently, enacted reforms aimed at preparing the country for European Union membership. However, EU officials say the execution of Miss Farkula would be a major obstacle to Turkey’s future inclusion in the EU. Meanwhile, Bartlet administration officials stressed that, while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward, the United States remains committed to strengthening ties with Turkey.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

A chaotic scene of Russell staffers talking at desks crammed into a hotel conference room, maps of Iowa and whiteboards hanging on the wall, phones ringing. WILL is there, and DONNA, too, both on cell phones. ROGER is trying to make some announcements.

ROGER
American Legion pancake breakfast, followed by brief remarks at the opening of the new field office in Des Moines -

CHRISTINE (walking in with some papers)
It’ll be five degrees with wind chill.

ROGER
- bus ride to Centerville, then on to the Iowa Corn Growers speech.

CHRISTINE
Where are we on the ethanol speech?

WILL
VP loves ethanol, showers in it every morning.

CHRISTINE
Comment on Turkey?

WILL
What’s the President saying?

DONNA
‘Saddened, committed to strengthening ties.’

CHRISTINE
Saddened? They’re going to behead her for sleeping with a co-worker.

WILL
Who’s got the wonderful world of corn?

HOWARD (another staffer)
That’d be me. Iowa Corn Growers’ Expo is a nonpartisan event, sponsored by the Iowa Farm League.

STAFFER
Nonpartisan? What’s that?

HOWARD
Well, the Expo offers an excellent opportunity to address farmers, corn growers, crop consultants, and seed corn reps on a variety of issues, including the economy, farm subsidies, trade, biotechnology, ethanol, and an alternative fuel.

ROGER
Now, we’re sure Hoynes is going to flip?

WILL
Believe me, Hoynes is taking the ethanol pledge. This is a guy who, if he was speaking to a group of cannibals, would promise them missionaries.

ROGER
Think we’ll be able to find some corn?

HOWARD
Corn fritters, corn pudding, corn flambe, corn souffle, Creole corn, country-fried corn, peanut butter corn cakes, and Huitlacoche – it’s a, like a corn smut, a sweet corn fungus, they give it to pigs in the States, it’s actually a delicacy in South America.

WILL
Well, no need to stop for lunch today, everybody fill up on corn smut at the Jefferson Cow Barn. (standing up and announcing to the room) All right, five days till the caucuses, 19 days to New Hampshire … 

The staffers start to rise and put on their coats.

WILL
Donna, Christine … you two heading out on your, uh, ‘Beyond The Fringe’ world tour? 

DONNA
First stop, Peter Burton, he wants the military to occupy our schools to prevent gun violence.

WILL
M1 Abrams tank seems like a worthwhile truancy deterrent.

HOWARD
Hundred and twenty millimeter cannon’d blow the training wheels right off any tardy sixth-grader’s bike.

CHRISTINE
Tough on cafeteria linoleum.

WILL (to DONNA)
Hey, swing by the Expo, Bob’ll want to thank you for looking at that pool.

CUT TO: EXT. - RURAL HIGHWAY – DAY

A car is traveling down a two-lane rural highway through the fog. As we hear DONNA speak, we cut inside the car. DONNA is riding in the front seat, CHRISTINE in the back. TREVOR is driving.

DONNA (VO)
We can skip this next one, he went to a federal prison for three years for refusing to pay income tax.

CHRISTINE
You ever been to one of these crazy caucuses, Trevor?

TREVOR
Yeah, my, uh, grandmother runs one down at her church every four years.

CHRISTINE
You don’t think it’s weird your out-of-the-way, nickel-and-dime, penny-ante state gets to go first?

TREVOR
Well, we, we always go first.

CHRISTINE
Yeah, and why is that?

DONNA
Iowa’s first because it’s first.

CHRISTINE
Says who?

DONNA (looking at her files)
We should check this Craig guy out.

CHRISTINE
So you don’t think Californians should get to meet the candidates down at the Barstow Dairy Queen?

TREVOR
We’re not a bunch of politically spoiled farm hands. Look, we take the responsibility of screening the Presidential candidates for the rest of the nation very seriously.

CHRISTINE
Guy wins Iowa, all it means is he’s learned how to speak intelligently about soybeans and farm implements.

TREVOR (to DONNA, nodding out the window)
Here we are, this is the, Burtons’ right here …

The car turns off the highway onto a gravel driveway, past a mailbox with BURTON scrawled on it. The driveway is blocked by a chain with a sign hanging on it. The sign reads:

Screw The Dog! THIS PROPERTY PROTECTED BY SMITH & WESSON

with a depiction of a hand holding a revolver pointed at the reader.

CHRISTINE
Maybe we should’ve called first.

CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL CAMPAIGN BUS – DAY

After a shot of the bus rolling down a divided highway with a police escort, we go inside to see WILL meeting with VICE PRESIDENT RUSSELL in the back of the bus, as ROGER and other staffers work in the front of the bus. RUSSELL is putting on a tie.

WILL (VO)
Good flight in?

RUSSELL
Uh, slept. First stop’s a pancake breakfast? I love pancakes.

WILL
The Sun-Times wants a statement on farm subsidies.

RUSSELL
Uhhhh, the family farm is the backbone of America.

WILL
Think they were looking for something a bit more substantial.

RUSSELL
Well, what do they expect, I’m going to come out against farm subsidies in Iowa? Oppose manhole covers in Manhattan?

WILL
We’ll give them the boilerplate.

RUSSELL
It’s a tragedy about that woman in Turkey. We issue a statement?

WILL
You deplore it.

RUSSELL
That’s good to know.

WILL
And you support President Bartlet’s efforts to strengthen ties with an important regional ally. This morning’s finance report - $8.2 million, cash in hand.

RUSSELL
That ought to buy a few more lawn signs.

WILL
And the lawns to go with them.

ROGER (leading RUSSELL to the front of the bus)
Got a minute for some donors? Irwin Drucker and his wife, Eileen, have a daughter, Susan, at LSU. Peter Mosby, he’s in insurance -

We see WILL watching as we hear RUSSELL offscreen.

RUSSELL (VO)
Uh, sorry I got stuck in the back talking to the White House. Irwin, Eileen, how’s your daughter Susan doing at, uh, LSU?

CUT TO: INT. - FARMHOUSE – DAY

DONNA and TREVOR are talking to a MR. EDGARS, in a wood-paneled room with shotguns, hunting trophies, and stuffed animal heads everywhere. A large sign over the fireplace reads:

EDGARS
The Friendly Fascist.
A Tyrant You Can Trust!

DONNA
Mr. Edgars, uh, your platform would allow all citizens to carry a concealed weapon?

EDGARS
Not allow. Require.

DONNA
And you don’t think that might lead to, well, anarchy?

EDGARS
What we got now is anarchy. An armed citizenry will take back our cities, our parks, our schools, and our highways.

CUT TO: INT. - ANOTHER FARMHOUSE – DAY

DONNA, CHRISTINE, and TREVOR are watching another fringe candidate, a MR. CONNORS, playing his guitar and singing an upbeat version of ‘Peace Train.’

CONNORS (singing)
How I been happy lately, thinking ‘bout days to come
And I believe it could be something good has begun
Oh, peace train – sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Peace train, take this country
Take me home a-gain.

CUT TO: EXT. - OUTSIDE RUSSELL CAMPAIGN BUS – DAY

RUSSELL and WILL are returning to the bus from the pancake breakfast.

RUSSELL
You try those pepper sausages? Damn, those things were hot. Somebody get me a quart of milk and a bucket of sand.

ROGER meets RUSSELL at the door of the bus.

ROGER
Paul Durett and his wife, Mimi; Sam Skok and his son, David.

RUSSELL (stepping onto the bus)
Hey, y’all – I’m just going to step back, take my coat off, I’ll be right back. Roger, uh, make sure everybody’s got something to drink, all right? 

WILL follows RUSSELL as they head into the back of the bus.

WILL
You get a chance to look at the ethanol speech on the plane?

RUSSELL
Yeah, seems fine. Who else is speaking?

WILL
Hoynes before you, Clarkson and Santos after you, the Republicans go tonight.

RUSSELL
You think Arnie’s gonna say ethanol’s a colossal waste of the taxpayers’ money? (to staffer) Thanks, Shelley.

WILL
Vinick’ll flip. Has to.

RUSSELL (sighs)
I was in the Senate last time he made his anti-ethanol speech. Whew. It was passionate. Had it been a tie, I’m not sure what I would have done.

WILL
Voted ‘aye,’ if you ever wanted to run for national office again.

RUSSELL
I think ethanol passed something like, 82 to 18.

WILL
I’m surprised there were 18 Senators with no Presidential ambitions.

RUSSELL
Do you really think Vinick can wriggle out from under his ethanol record?

WILL
He’ll wiggle. He’ll squirm, but he’ll say as Senator he voted against it ‘cause it wasn’t good for California, as President he knows it’s good for the country. 

RUSSELL
He’ll pull a groin muscle reaching around behind him to pick up that one.

WILL (looking at campaign papers)
Mmm, Majority Whip is positioning on Third Circuit nominees again.

RUSSELL
No, Vinick’s not wrong about ethanol – it takes more oil to transport it and fertilize it than we save using it.

WILL
Sir, you’re not considering changing the speech -

RUSSELL
Was it Paul and Mandy?

WILL
Paul and Mimi, son David.

RUSSELL and WILL head back to the front of the bus.

CUT TO: EXT. - MUDDY FARM LOT – DAY

DONNA is standing in the mud, chickens clucking nearby, as she talks to another candidate, MR. JOHNSON, who is carrying a bucket of feed across the lot.

DONNA
Mr. Johnson, your platform would include paying the President, the Cabinet, and all members of Congress a salary of one dollar a year?

JOHNSON
Hell, yeah. Make ‘em get a real job.

DONNA
And you want to, ban motorcycle helmets, color television, drop out of the UN, abolish Medicare, and totally privatize Social Security?

JOHNSON
We got to get the government out of our damn pockets!

DONNA
Sir, are you – sure you’re a Democrat?

CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY

We see a shot of the Russell campaign bus driving into the loading dock area of the cattle barn arena, police escort and all.

JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

RUSSELL and WILL and the other staffers step off the bus.

WILL
We’re going to need some time after the trip tonight for debate prep, the Black and Brown’s coming up.

RUSSELL
Do I really have to go to that?

WILL
It’s an Iowa tradition.

REPORTER (shouting)
Mr. Vice President, one question -

WILL and RUSSELL continue down a back hallway.

RUSSELL
It’s not a fair fight – Atkins and Santos get to stand up there, holier than thou, rail against racial injustice while the rest of us loiter around looking like those two albino twins from The Matrix.

WILL (as they pass DONNA and CHRISTINE in the hallway)
Sir, Donna Moss is here, South Carolina fundraising -

RUSSELL (to DONNA)
Donna, great job on the Carolina trip. Keep those Boulders rolling.

DONNA
Thank you, sir. (to WILL) We can’t put these fringe candidates on stage with serious candidates. We’ve got a, fascist who was arrested for brandishing a rifle and calling for the overthrow of the republic; a delusional preacher; a guy who just needs a job; and a refugee from the New Christy Minstrels.

WILL (reading a note to RUSSELL)
Freight train derailed in Baton Rouge, big chemical spill and fire. They’re going to have to evacuate a 20-square-mile area.

RUSSELL
Any fatalities?

WILL
Leveled a couple of city blocks.

RUSSELL takes a moment to react to that, then ROGER appears from the stage area.

ROGER
They’re ready for you, sir.

WILL
We’re set on this ethanol speech?

RUSSELL
Don’t worry. I’m not suicidal. I’m gonna, take the pledge.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President of the United States.

RUSSELL
I was thinking about throwing in a little something about, uh, drastically reducing sugar subsidies, though.

WILL smiles and applauds as RUSSELL takes the stage, decorated with hay bales and a large  IOWA CORN GROWERS EXPO sign. 

DONNA (to WILL)
We can’t give these fringe people a megaphone, they’re lunatics. It’ll be a circus without the jugglers.

RUSSELL (onstage)
Thanks for that welcome. Now I’m not saying this just because I’m in Iowa. I say this everywhere I go – we need more ethanol production.

There is a wave of applause.

WILL (to DONNA)
It’s not already a circus?

RUSSELL (onstage)
When I was in Congress, I voted to subsidize …

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY

We hear a telephone ringing. JOSH is in bed, his head under the pillow. He groggily reaches out to answer the phone.

JOSH (into phone)
Hmm .. mmmm …

RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.

JOSH (into phone)
Thank you.

He hangs up the receiver.

WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM

Much as we saw with DONNA earlier, we see JOSH getting up and ready for the day. He switches on the TV and we hear much the same news report we saw DONNA listening to. JOSH puts on socks after tiptoeing in his bare feet on the cold bathroom floor, uses the toilet, starts the coffee maker, works on his laptop – as we see the coffeepot overflowing over the bathroom counter and onto the floor. JOSH holds a cup of coffee as he watches the end of the news report.

NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. She’s been sentenced to death for her crime. In the most recent attempt to revamp Turkey’s 78-year-old penal code, members of the ruling Justice Development Party approved yesterday a controversial amendment criminalizing adultery. Leaders expressing concern that the country’s laws might be moving closer to Islamic law. The conviction of the young woman comes at a precarious time for Turkey, who has, until recently, enacted reforms aimed at preparing the country for European Union membership. EU officials say the execution of Miss Farkula would be a major obstacle to Turkey’s future inclusion in the EU. Bartlet administration officials stressed that, while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward, the United States remains committed to strengthening ties with Turkey.

CUT TO: INT. - SANTOS HOTEL ROOM – DAY

The Santos children are watching cartoons on TV as HELEN gives them some breakfast.

DAFFY DUCK (on TV)
Hankering for trouble, eh?

HELEN (handing her daughter a bowl of cereal)
Okay, you guys – I’m just gonna be right next door, all right?

DAFFY DUCK (on TV)
I would like to introduce myself: Zip-along Daffy …

HELEN leaves the kids and heads into the connecting room, which is abuzz with activity with RONNA, NED, JOSH, MATT and other staffers working feverishly.

RONNA
At 10:00 we tour the Todd family orchard in Ames, press cider and talk about agricultural policy with local farmers, followed by a photo op in Audubon with Albert, world’s largest bull -

MATT (to HELEN)
Campaign’s full of metaphors, isn’t it?

JOSH (into phone)
Yeah, Josh Lyman for Teddy Eagle -

MATT (to NED)
Say, Ned – did Andreas send over the, uh, markups on the dispersal?

NED
Yeah.

MATT
I want to weigh in on it before it goes to the floor.

NED
Yeah, you’ll read it on the way.

RONNA
Next stop is the coffee bean caucus at Hamburg Inn Number Two.

HELEN
The what?

JOSH
Uh, it’s a diner, they line up mason jars with each candidate’s name on it, and every customer gets a coffee bean to toss in their favorite’s.

MATT
I even have a jar?

JOSH
We’ve been sending a volunteer in for pie every day for a week.

HELEN
Oh, you got seven beans, honey.

MATT
And a volunteer as big as Albert?

RONNA
Next is the nation’s oldest Dairy Queen, where you try soft serve and talk about jobs and the economy. Next, we fly to Iowa Corn Growers’ Expo -

JOSH (to MATT)
We have a plane?

MATT
Sort of.

JOSH
With wings?

MATT
Small ones.

RONNA 
- ‘I impale myself on the mighty sword of corn-based fuels’ speech.

HELEN
What are you going to say about ethanol?

There is a pause as MATT looks at HELEN.

JOSH
Best thing since soft serve. 

HELEN
Ethanol is subsidized to the tune of, what, a billion dollars a year, Josh?

MATT
What’s up after the, uh, corn expo?

RONNA
Uh, back here for prep on the Brown and Black debate.

MATT
All of you are going to prep me for a debate on race.

JOSH
Yeah, we should at least go over the opposing arguments. See if we can get after Hoynes on some of the issues.

MATT
I grew up in Houston, Josh, I lived the opposing arguments.

JOSH (checking his watch)
Okay, that’s it. Parking lot, ten minutes.

MATT
Terrible about this woman in Turkey, huh? What do you think the President’s going to do?

JOSH
Not much, I guess. I mean, she’s a Turkish citizen, it’s their country.

HELEN
They’re executing her because she slept with her fiance, thank God she didn’t cook him breakfast.

JOSH
Hey, we execute minors. The rest of the world thinks that’s barbaric.

HELEN
I’m with the world.

MATT (to HELEN)
You joining us this morning?

HELEN
Ah, no, Peter’s got the sniffles. Think we’re gonna stay here for a while. Honey, a billion dollars a year to make a gasoline additive?

MATT
I’m gonna go get my coat, kiss the kids goodbye.

JOSH
Yeah, pictures are better without the coat.

MATT
Circulation’s better with it.

HELEN (to JOSH)
Register has us at three percent?

JOSH
Yeah, I saw.

HELEN
Iowa’s Hispanic population is 2.8 percent. A billion dollars that could be spent on child health care, prenatal care, Head Start, education -

MATT (to HELEN, giving her a kiss on the cheek)
Catch up with us later?

HELEN
Yup.

JOSH (leaving with MATT, to HELEN)
See you.

CUT TO: INT. - SANTOS CAMPAIGN MOTORHOME – DAY

After seeing the motorhome roll down a rural road, with a minivan following behind, we move inside to see JOSH, NED, RONNA and other staffers coordinating with MATT.

JOSH
Oh, we wrangled you an invitation to go pheasant hunting with one of the Osceola County supervisors – get into camo gear, swing a 12 gauge over your shoulder, (yawning) get a few photos for the AP.

MATT
With a gun?

JOSH
You were in the Marines, you know how to shoot, right?

MATT
Yeah, a 20 millimeter chain gun, but it might be a little hard on the pheasant.

JOSH and RONNA smile, a giant hand-drawn SANTOS FOR PRESIDENT sign on the wall behind them.

MATT
You know, Helen’s not wrong about ethanol.

JOSH
Aw, please, come on …

MATT
It’s bad for the environment, it’s expensive – mother of all panders.

JOSH
After antagonizing New Hampshire voters, we’re gonna march into Iowa, do the same thing?

MATT
Transportation is difficult, storage is a nightmare -

JOSH
What is this, the insult and injury tour? We’re going to North Dakota next, tell them South Dakota has a cooler-sounding name?

MATT
Farm subsidies began as a way to help farmers in the Depression. It’s decades out of date, it’s corporate welfare.

JOSH
Don’t you actually want to get some votes in one of these states?

CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY

MATT, JOSH and the rest are getting out of the motorhome. It is raining. NED opens an umbrella, as JOSH opens another one to hold over MATT as they walk across the parking lot.

MATT
Ah, seventy-five percent of the money goes to the richest ten percent of American farmers. You know, we’re talking about writing six-figure checks to Chevron, the John Hancock Insurance Company, NBA basketball stars.

JOSH
Repeat after me: ‘Family farming is a precious way of life in this country, and we’re gonna do everything we can to protect it.’

MATT (greeting a man walking in the parking lot)
Hi, I’m Matt Santos, I’m running for President. 

MAN
Hi …

MATT
Why don’t you come back inside, we’ll talk about how we can make America stronger.

MAN (walking away)
Good luck.

MATT (to JOSH)
So I want to take another look at the ethanol speech when we get back -

JOSH
No! Absolutely not!

MATT
- as soon as we get back on the bus.

JOSH
It’s not gonna happen!

RONNA (to JOSH, as they all enter the restaurant)
He doing it again?

JOSH
Yeah.

CUT TO: INT. - HAMBURG INN – DAY

We see some of the jars for the coffee bean caucus – HOYNES, RUSSELL, EDGAR … and SANTOS, which has only a few coffee beans in it. JOSH picks up the jar and shakes it ruefully.

MAN (in background)
- about immigration policy, we need to tighten our borders.

MATT (in background)
Oh, that’s fine …

NED (to JOSH, who is holding the jar)
Maybe we should find some hungrier volunteers.

JOSH (putting the jar down)
He’s not talking ethanol, is he?

NED
Immigration.

JOSH
Great, he proposing opening the border and - pelting them with surplus corn?

NED
Nope. Something about foreign nationals serving in the military without being given citizenship.

JOSH
Oh my God … 

CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY

JOSH and MATT lead the group back into the rain in the parking lot.

MATT
- we let them defend our country, but we won’t let them be American citizens until after they’re discharged?

JOSH
You’re Hispanic! You start talking immigration reform, people are gonna think you want to throw open the borders! 

MATT
No, no, no, no, not throw them open, but make some kind of sense out of our immigration laws. And you know, the ethanol subsidy is a joke. It’s practically in the Oxford English Dictionary under ‘pandering.’ Uh, maybe the voters will respect us more for telling them the truth.

JOSH
What truth? That because ethanol isn’t perfect, they have to send their kids to community college, and we’re gonna, yank millions out of their local economy?

MATT
Yeah, but it’s up to us to explain to them that it, it’s gonna hurt them, that, that we’re essentially paying for make-work jobs, I mean, that can’t be what they want.

JOSH
Yeah, well, explain it to them after someone’s actually elected us to something, okay?

CUT TO: EXT. - AIRPORT FBO – DAY

As the campaign motorhome pulls up in front of a building with GLANFORD painted on the side, we hear MATT still debating with JOSH.

MATT (VO)
I am not going to a Brown and Black debate and only talk about economic issues, I’ll look ridiculous.

JOSH and MATT exit the motorhome and start across the tarmac. NED, RONNA, and other staffers follow them.

JOSH
Lack of opportunity is the root of all our divisions. We need to lower the deficit, lower interest rates, and create more private sector jobs. We need to raise educational standards, and equip all Americans for the new economy. That’s what Russell and Hoynes will be saying.

MATT
You’re trying to steer me towards middle-of-the-road positions that appeal to C-SPAN viewers.

JOSH
All six of ‘em who’ll be watching the debate, yeah, God bless ‘em.

MATT
You really want me to talk about the economic problems in the minority communities?

JOSH
Yeah, I really do.

MATT
Okay, how about the fact that minority kids are five times more likely to grow up poor and fatherless?

JOSH
You know you can’t go there.

MATT
I’m serious! Kids who grow up fatherless are more likely to suffer emotional consequences, and twice as likely to engage in criminal activities.

MATT is conducting a quick preflight inspection of a twin-engine propeller aircraft.

JOSH
We need to be challenging Hoynes, not fringe candidates like Atkins.

MATT
We reformed welfare to require women to work – that is, when they can find a job – but we haven’t done half as much to force deadbeat dads to pay for child support.

JOSH 
You know damn well less than a quarter of Latino kids grow up without their fathers. It’s nearly half of African-American children.

MATT
I don’t care if it’s three Bosnians, an Armenian, and a bus full of party clowns, it’s a huge economic problem, Josh.

JOSH
It’s gonna look like you’re lecturing African-Americans.

MATT
Oh, so if I’m President, I can only use the bully pulpit to talk to Latinos? What, does my State of the Union only run on Telemundo, too?

JOSH
No, but tell me right now, what’s gonna help everyone, broadly, make a difference across all the races?

MATT
Values issues are important, too, Josh. And supporting ethanol is a mistake, I want to see that speech.

MATT climbs aboard the plane, NED helping with a bag. JOSH looks at the plane skeptically.

JOSH
This is a small plane.

NED
You don’t like small planes?

JOSH
Like, Buddy Holly small. Big Bopper small.

NED
Jiles Perry Richardson. Bppper’s real name. Richie Valens, too. All went down right here in Iowa.

NED climbs aboard.

CUT TO: INT. - AIRCRAFT CABIN – DAY

JOSH squeezes into a seat. RONNA is sitting across from him as NED gets into the seat next to JOSH. We hear radio chatter as JOSH looks around.

JOSH
Where’s the Congressman?

RONNA
Up front.

JOSH
Up front?

RONNA
Well, he can’t exactly fly it from back here.

MATT leans around from the cockpit to look at the passengers.

MATT
Everybody set?

RONNA gives a thumbs-up.

MATT
You might want to buckle up, Josh. Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing barrel rolls.

JOSH looks uncomfortable.

CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY

We see the Santos campaign motorhome pulling up to the loading dock area of the cattle barn arena, with a police escort.

JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA

MATT, JOSH, and the other staffers exit the motorhome and start heading for the arena. MATT is going over the speech.

MATT (reading)
‘Ethanol is good for our economy, good for our environment, and should be at the heart of our energy strategy.’

JOSH
We’ve lost 850,000 jobs to foreign oil. Ethanol’s created 150,000. Think of it as a, Midwestern jobs program.

MATT (reading)
‘As President, I will ensure that by the year 2020, ten percent of all motor fuels will come from renewable sources like ethanol -’

JOSH
Four lines at the top of the speech, think of it as a quick trip to the dentist. 

MATT
Yeah, I’m a pretty good flosser.

As the group walks down a back hallway, they meet HELEN.

MATT (giving her a kiss)
Hey, honey, how you doing?

HELEN
Mmm, good, Peter’s feeling better, so -

MATT
Great. Ronna, do we know who’s been here already?

RONNA
Uh, Hoynes this morning, Russell about an hour ago.

MATT (to JOSH)
All right, you know, I, I’m not gonna do this – any of it. I’m gonna go in there and I’m gonna tell these people the truth. We have to help farmers in the tough years, and then reform the system so that we can target those who really need it, not these agribusinesses and multimillionaires.

NED (rushing up)
Ready, Congressman?

MATT
Yeah.

JOSH
You walk out there on that stage and you come out against ethanol, you are dead meat. Bambi’d have a better shot at getting elected President of the NRA than you will have of getting a single vote in this caucus.

HELEN
Let him say what he wants to say, Josh, he’s right.

JOSH
No, he’s not!

MATT
Look, you want me to support something I know to be lousy policy and a colossal waste of taxpayers’ money to round up a couple of votes for a caucus I can’t possibly win.

JOSH
I want you to support a policy that helps a lot of people, so that a year from now when you are sworn in as President, you can make the changes we both know need to be made.

MATT looks at HELEN, then back at JOSH.

MATT
I’m ready.

MATT heads up the stairs to the stage.

JOSH
Matt.

MATT stops. HELEN looks at JOSH.

JOSH
Take the pledge.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, Congressman Matthew Santos.

As the crowd applauds, MATT takes the stage and goes to the microphone. HELEN and JOSH watch from backstage.

MATT
Oh, thank you, thank you very much for that warm welcome.

As the crowd quiets expectantly, MATT looks at the teleprompter. We see the opening of the speech on the screen:

ETHANOL IS GOOD FOR OUR ECONOMY, GOOD FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT, AND SHOULD BE AT

MATT stands silent for a moment.

MATT
Ethanol … (pause) is good for our economy, good for our environment, and should be at the heart of our energy strategy.

The crowd cheers. JOSH pumps his fist. HELEN watches with her arms crossed.

MATT
As President, I will ensure that by the year 2020, ten percent of all motor fuels come from renewable resources … like ethanol.

JOSH whistles in appreciation. HELEN turns and walks away.

MATT
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to talk about the dramatic steps that we must take … 

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY

In the darkness we hear a phone ringing. We see SENATOR VINICK, in bed, reaching out to answer the phone.

VINICK (into phone)
Yeah …

MAN (on phone)
Good morning, sir, it’s 5:45.

VINICK (into phone)
Great. Okay, thank you.

MAN (on phone)
You’re welcome.

WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM

VINICK sits up and turns on the lamp. He puts on his glasses and looks at a picture by his bed, which we can’t see. As VINICK continues to prepare for the day – picking up a newspaper outside his door, heading into the bathroom – the TV has a version of the same report we’ve seen twice already.

ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. Leaders are expressing concern that the country’s laws might be moving closer to Islamic law. Meanwhile, Bartlet administration officials stressed that while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward -

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

The Vinick campaign headquarters seems different from Russell’s and Santos’ … there are more people, a full breakfast buffet, but the setup and the activity seems more polished. There are still bustling staffers, ringing phones, and overlapping voices, but the chaos is at a minimum. VINICK is at a table with some of his top staffers, including SHEILA BROOKS and BOB MAYER, as he reads a newspaper and has breakfast.

SHEILA
Speech on tax reform at the General Mills plant, then a meet-and-greet with the managers, talk about improving the business climate. 

VINICK
We have talking points on the tax plan?

BOB (handing something to SHEILA)
Hey …

SHEILA
Yeah – okay, 11:00, rally at the Mid-America Center followed by a fundraising lunch for John Schofield -

VINICK
Thought we said no to that?

BOB
Party’s getting behind him, they’re trying to unseat Lockman.

SHEILA
All right, we have a couple of house stops, and then on to Hamburg Inn Number 2.

STAFFER (chuckling)
That the place with the beans?

VINICK
Great pie, too.

SHEILA
Finally, tonight the Iowa Corn Growers Association.

There’s a lull as BOB and SHEILA exchange looks.

VINICK
It suddenly get quiet in here?

SHEILA (clearing throat)
Do we have that new direct mail piece?

BOB
Yeah, I took out about 17 exclamation points. Here. (handing a folder across the table) Fewer words, more pictures.

SHEILA
Can we get any mileage out of Bartlet and this Turkey thing?

VINICK
I don’t see how. He criticized the decision while reaffirming our commitment to regional autonomy.

BOB
Yeah, but if we can find an angle it might be a good way to remind caucusgoers of your foreign policy experience.

VINICK
We want to remind them of my foreign policy experience?
BOB
Might get their minds off ethanol and abortion.

VINICK
Bringing them with me to a DMZ wouldn’t take their minds off ethanol and abortion.

SHEILA (to the room)
Okay, everybody – that’s it.

Staffers begin to stand up and get ready to move out. SHEILA comes around the table to VINICK.

SHEILA
Got the, new financial report. We’re up six million. Six.

BOB
Ooh, lot of money. Now all we need are a few people willing to vote for you.

VINICK
Bob, you got crumbs all over - 

BOB brushes off his sweater.

VINICK
Oh, great, now if I want a snack, I just have to reach down into the carpet.

BOB (to SHEILA)
You tell him?

VINICK
Tell me what?

BOB
Got the new field poll, you’re at five percent.

VINICK
So I’m up a little.

BOB
Half a point. Dumped two million bucks into Iowa, and you are up a half? Ten million more, I can get you into double digits.

VINICK
No.

BOB
You’re gonna have to do it.

VINICK
I’m not having this conversation.

BOB
Sheila, tell him.

VINICK
Stop it. She’s been doing all her own talking since she turned 35.

SHEILA
Why don’t we talk about this in the car?

VINICK grabs his coat.

CUT TO: INT. - VINICK SUV – DAY

A motorcade of three vehicles are traveling down a rural highway. We hear the discussion first before we move inside the SUV.

VINICK (VO)
I never thought we should commit resources here in the first place.

SHEILA (VO)
We can’t just thumb our noses at Iowa. Let Allard clean up and take the momentum into New Hampshire - ?

BOB (VO)
This is all about rural voters. A Republican can’t win the White House without the Farm Belt.

VINICK
You want me in overalls, spending all day talking to Whistler’s mom about soybean prices?

SHEILA
You know that’s not what we’re talking about.

VINICK
Farmers in America don’t want to get paid in the mailbox. They want to get paid in the marketplace.

BOB
Catchy. Pretty sure I wrote it.

VINICK
People know where I stand. They may not like it, but they know I’ll stick with it.

BOB
This is issue one, two, and three here.

VINICK
I’m not a panderer.

BOB
It’s unavoidable. It’s the non-panderer’s pander. General Patton would’ve pandered on ethanol.

VINICK (to SHEILA)
Et tu, Brute?

CUT TO: INT. - BARBERSHOP – DAY

VINICK is speaking to a group of rural Iowans inside a rural barbershop.

VINICK
Bartlet’s economic policies simply aren’t working. In small towns and rural communities, across America, our lifestyle and values are under siege. The trade deficit’s at record levels. Corn is down three cents a bushel, soybeans are down twelve cents -

FARMER
Isn’t the deficit due to NAFTA as much as anything else?

VINICK
Trade creates jobs, period. One-third of Iowa’s agricultural product goes overseas. We need more programs like the Freedom to Farm legislation that I helped sponsor.

FARMER
Around here, we call that ‘Freedom to Foreclose.’

VINICK
Well, that’s, that’s clever, but it’s not very accurate. I mean, do you think that farmers should decide what they get to plant? Or should that be left up to some bureaucrat back in Washington? You know, too often you’re forced to farm the subsidy instead of the market.

CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY

The Vinick motorcade is pulling into the rainy parking lot. We hear the discussion from inside the SUV.

SHEILA (VO)
We could use the new study the Ethanol Institute put out.

VINICK (VO)
Yeah, I wonder who footed the bill for that research?

BOB (VO)
It says if we put ten percent ethanol in every gas tank in America, we can reduce worldwide oil demand by two percent.

VINICK (VO)
First, we can’t produce that much ethanol.

We see VINICK, SHEILA, BOB and others getting out of their vehicles in the rain. Many have umbrellas ready.

VINICK
Second, using it as an additive allows the oil companies to pump up octane levels and sell more premium gas to SUVs.

SHEILA
Senator, we’re just trying to -

VINICK
Two years ago, I called it highway robbery. Now I’m supposed to hand out ski masks, guns, and brown paper bags?

BOB
Forget the subsidy argument, you’ve said a hundred times reducing dependence on foreign oil is a national security issue -

VINICK
Yeah …

BOB
- we fold ethanol into that.

VINICK
Yeah, the only problem is it’s not true. Making a gallon of ethanol takes almost a gallon of oil. That’s like saying using tonic water as an additive reduces our demand for gin.

BOB
Look -

VINICK
Listen, I need to catch Valerie after school. I want to wish her a happy birthday.

BOB (pulling out some papers)
Will you at least look at the ethanol report?

VINICK
It’s a classic study of a stupid policy rammed down our throats by special interests. Makes about as much sense as building patio furniture out of corn. (opening the door to the restaurant) But sure, I’ll take a look.

CUT TO: INT. - HAMBURG INN – DAY

BOB is looking at the candidates’ jars of coffee beans. We see jars for JOHNSON, WALKEN, and VINICK. WALKEN’s jar appears to have the most, with only a modest number in VINICK’s jar. We hear VINICK speaking in the background.

VINICK (VO)
We need fewer regulations on small businesses – you know, small businesses like family farms. And we have to do something about these frivolous lawsuits that jack up costs for small businesses - 

We see VINICK before a crowd of Iowans in the restaurant.

VINICK
- you know, make it hard for them to afford to have insurance, capital investment-

MAN
Now, now I’m for free trade … but shouldn’t it be fair trade? Can we really compete with people earning a dollar a day?

VINICK
Do we really want workers in Malaysia to be earning our minimum wage? I mean, do you have any idea what real estate costs in Kuala Lumpur?

SHEILA gets a call on her phone. She answers it, whispering “What?” as she turns and sees a TV with a Breaking News alert.

Chemical Spill In Louisiana
Thousands Evacuated In Baton Rouge
as Chemical Cloud Spreads

We see footage of a fire and black clouds of smoke, as well as explosion damage, and VINICK continues to speak.

VINICK (VO)
Trade lowers prices for Americans, I mean, how, how else do you think that they keep things so cheap over at Walmart?

CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY

VINICK and the others exit the restaurant back into the rain, with umbrellas.

VINICK (to SHEILA)
It’s not just ethanol, you know? These … these subsidies are what give us the corn glut. That’s why we make 20 million tons of corn sweetener a year. (beat) Average American eats or drinks 93 pounds of it, and we wonder why we have an obesity problem with kids. (beat) What would I have to say?

SHEILA
You weren’t wrong as Senator. Ethanol wasn’t in the best interests of California, but as President, you have to do what’s right for the whole country. What did you expect?

VINICK
How about, ‘As Senator, I pandered to Californians, but as President, I plan to pander to every special interest group who will get me elected’?

There’s a short pause.

VINICK
Bob already have a speech drafted?

SHEILA
You want to read it?

VINICK
No, not especially. You know, if Iowa weren’t first, if it were third – you know what it would be? The South Dakota primary.

CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY

Once again we see the candidate’s vehicles entering the loading dock of the cattle barn arena, this time Vinick’s SUV motorcade, with a police escort. It is now snowing. VINICK gets out of his SUV and heads for the arena, BOB and SHEILA behind him, as a REPORTER shouts questions.

REPORTER
Senator Vinick, any thoughts on today’s train derailment?

BOB (to SHEILA)
Uhh, he’ll do it?

SHEILA
Yeah.

BOB
Oh.

Another STAFFER has a cell phone to his ear.

STAFFER (into phone)
Hello?

As VINICK and the rest walk down the back hallway, the STAFFER gets the phone to VINICK.

STAFFER
Senator? Your granddaughter.

VINICK (taking phone, singing into it)
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you – (laughs) Well … well, Mantovani I’m not. (beat) No. No, of course I didn’t forget! (beat) Well, it’s cold – it started snowing. (beat) Okay, you go back to your friends. I love you, too. Happy birthday, pumpkin.

VINICK hangs up and hands the phone to BOB.

VINICK
You have that ‘Profiles in Spinelessness’ speech of yours?

BOB
It’s on the prompters.

STAFFER
You ready, Senator?

VINICK (softly)
Okay.

VINICK steps up near the entrance to the stage, sighing heavily as SHEILA primps his suit jacket.

VINICK
Man, I missed so many of my own kids’ birthdays, now I’m doing it with the grandchildren.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, Senator Arnold Vinick.

There is polite applause as VINICK takes the stage and goes up to the podium.

VINICK
As many of you are aware … in the past, I haven’t been a big supporter of ethanol subsidies. 

VINICK stops. We see the next sentence on the screen of the teleprompter:

AS A CALIFORNIA SENATOR, I DIDN’T BELIEVE ETHANOL TO BE IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF

VINICK remains quiet. The crowd is also silent, except for a random cough. VINICK looks at the prompter again, and finally continues.

VINICK
I know what you want to hear. Telling people what they want to hear is the easiest thing you can do in politics. But that’s not why I’m here. That’s not why I’m running for President.

SHEILA and BOB react as they realize VINICK isn’t going to go along with them. The crowd begins to murmur in disappointment.

VINICK
Now, I know that the ethanol subsidies have been good for some of you. But mostly, it’s a windfall for huge conglomerates. I’m embarrassed by it, and I think you should be, too. Look, I know what you’re up against. I grew up in a, in a citrus farming community in California … 

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL BAR – NIGHT

WEDNESDAY 10:25 PM

JOSH and NED are at the bar, watchign MSNBC coverage of VINICK’s speech. The caption reads VINICK DISAPPOINTS AT ICGA EXPO.

VINICK (on TV)
I’m here to tell you the straight truth – if you elect me President, ethanol subsidies are not going to be a part of my agriculture policy.

ANCHOR (on TV)
Senator Arnold Vinick surprised many people -

JOSH
Wow.

HELEN appears behind JOSH and NED.

HELEN
Yeah, wow.

JOSH
You and the Congressman finished with dinner?

HELEN
Yeah, at least one candidate gets to go home without feeling like he’s been mugged. (strained chuckle)

JOSH
Well, he may have his wallet, but he’ll be down four points in the morning.

HELEN
Ned, would you mind excusing us for a minute?

NED
Mmm-hmm.

HELEN
Thanks.

JOSH (as NED leaves)
See ya.

HELEN
Josh, why are we even in Iowa? Shouldn’t we be focusing on, uh, Texas, California, places where we might actually get some, um, how do your political professionals call them – votes?

JOSH
We’re letting people know there’s an alternative to Hoynes and Russell. Matt Santos, making sense, talking about ideas.

HELEN
Making sense about ethanol?

JOSH
It makes sense in Iowa, yeah. Russell’s a house of cards. His support’s a mile wide and an inch deep. We can’t compete with him on endorsements or institutional support. But we don’t have to worry about Russell. Hoynes’ll find a way to take him down.

HELEN
This the famous Josh Lyman nine-point plan?

JOSH
Hoynes is smart, he has access to money, plenty of chits he can call in. Once Russell crumbles, his support’ll flow to Hoynes, unless someone has established themself as ‘Not Hoynes.’ 

HELEN
‘Not Hoynes.’

JOSH
There’s going to be lots of primary activists who are very uncomfortable with an adulterous, moderate, DLC Democrat.

HELEN (laughing)
Oh, my God – you actually stay up nights thinking this stuff up?

JOSH
It’s a living.

HELEN (sighs, thinking)
Hmm … well, I’m going to bed. Please don’t keep him up too late, he’s tired. Good night, Josh.

HELEN exits.

CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CAFE – NIGHT

JOSH walks into the cafe, finding RONNA and MATT in a booth. 

JOSH
Hey … still snowing outside?

RONNA
Uh, yes, supposed to clear up in a couple of hours.

JOSH
We gonna have to change the schedule tomorrow?

RONNA
Not yet.

VINICK walks into the cafe, followed by SHEILA and BOB.

VINICK
Josh, as I live and barely breathe.

JOSH (shaking hands)
Senator, how are you?

VINICK
Well, aside from the dozen Republican farmers who just tried to show me the business end of a Mr. Popcorn machine, fine. (making introductions) You know Sheila – Bob.

JOSH
Hey.

SHEILA (shaking hands)
Hey.

BOB
Hi.

JOSH (shaking hands with BOB)
You got some … shmutz … 

VINICK
No, no, that’s just Bob’s way of packing a lunch.

MATT stands up behind JOSH.

JOSH
Uh, Senator, Congressman Matt Santos.

MATT
Hey.

VINICK (shaking hands)
Yeah, we’ve met. How are you, Matt?

MATT
I’m good, Arnie. You? (to JOSH) We co-sponsored a doomed immigration reform package a couple of years ago.

VINICK
Ahhh, we, we fought the good fight, lit the good match.

MATT
Still went down in flames.

VINICK
We’re supposed to be driving back to Des Moines now, but, we … well, you know, with the storm and everything, we thought we’d get something to eat and see if it clears up.

MATT (to JOSH)
Well, maybe we can see if the kitchen’s still open.

JOSH
Yeah. I’ll check it out. (walks away)

SHEILA
I’ll get us a table.

VINICK
Yeah, sure, I, I’ll be right there.

SHEILA and BOB walk away.

VINICK
I read about that education plan you introduced in New Hampshire, that’s pretty gutsy stuff – taking on the teachers’ unions?

MATT
Well, I don’t think that I’ll be elected president of my PTA right now, but, uh … saw the ethanol speech.

VINICK
Yeah, well, that wasn’t gutsy so much as suicidal – or so my staff tells me. Mind if I sit?

MATT
No, please.

RONNA makes room in the booth as VINICK sits next to her, MATT sitting across the table.

VINICK
Your guys Russell and Hoynes have come after me on that already. You lining up a shot for tomorrow?

MATT 
I think I’ll – just sit this one out.

VINICK
Two hundred and forty day school year, hmm? An end to teacher tenure; nationalizing the system -

MATT
You want to hop on? I could use the support, I’m taking a shellacking from my own side of the aisle.

VINICK
I’m with you on the tenure, but, uh … a longer, federally mandated school year, I … ? It sounds like another big Washington power grab to me -

MATT
Oh, here we go … 

VINICK
Well, no, wait, why would we want to wrest control from the local school boards and the parents who know more about their kids than we do?

MATT
‘Cause right now, our local school boards and parents aren’t making sure that our kids can compete in a tougher world marketplace.

VINICK (smiling)
Wouldn’t be a Democratic plan if it didn’t involve more taxes.

MATT
Maybe we should take apart every public school, brick by brick, auction them off … some things cost money, Arnie.

VINICK
Who’s going to administer all this? The Department of Education? Because they did such a great job improving education in the last four decades?

MATT (smiling)
All right, are you through embarrassing me in front of my staff, here?

VINICK (jovially)
Not even close.

MATT
When are you headed back to New Hampshire?

VINICK
Tomorrow. What with my ethanol tantrum, I, uh … I suspect my work here is done. (chuckling) I think I’ve managed to successfully drag my, my, my poll numbers below a pro hockey score, you know.

MATT
Well, at least you’ve still got a full set of teeth.

VINICK
Yeah, my staff is very proud.

MATT
Well, if they weren’t … I was.

VINICK
You’re not an ethanol fan?

MATT
Not until today.

JOSH appears at the table where SHEILA and BOB are waiting. SHEILA has a phone to her ear, BOB is writing feverishly.

JOSH
Kitchen’s closed, but they said they’d whip up a few eggs, some sandwiches.

SHEILA
Thank you.

JOSH and SHEILA look over at MATT and VINICK.

JOSH
What do you think they’re plotting over there?

SHEILA
Well, if your day’s been anything like ours, I’d keep away the sharp cutlery.

JOSH
That was a bold move on the ethanol thing.

SHEILA
That was all him.

JOSH
You’ll end up a loser here, but you’ll mop up with the national press, they’ll be talking about how courageous your guy is.

BOB
From your lips to God’s ears.

SHEILA
What’d your guy do on ethanol?

JOSH
He took the pledge.

SHEILA and BOB exchange looks.

JOSH
Republican field’s wide open, we’re just – trying to find a way to stay in the game.

JOSH continues to watch MATT and VINICK talking across the room. On the soundtrack we hear an acoustic song begin, ‘Desire’ by Ryan Adams. A montage begins as the song plays … DONNA gets into the elevator, saying good night to WILL; WILL goes to an ice cream machine in the hallway and buys an ice cream sandwich; MATT goes into his hotel bedroom, seeing both children in bed with HELEN – HELEN opens an eye, they exchange smiles; VINICK is preparing for bed, he sees TOBY giving a briefing on TV.

TOBY (on TV)
- our current force is more than adequate to meet the needs of the agreed-upon security arrangements and all parties remain -

VINICK shuts off the TV. Sitting on the bed, he looks at the photograph we saw him looking at in the morning. Now we see it’s a photo of VINICK and his late wife. He takes off his glasses.

DONNA is getting ready for bed, filling the coffee pot to be ready for the morning. She goes to the door and picks up an envelope; JOSH is coming down the hallway and sees her. She closes the door, but looks through the peephole as JOSH goes to his door directly across the hall. JOSH stops at his door, as if he’s considering going to DONNA’s. She watches him through the peephole, then turns away. JOSH opens his door and goes into his room. The camera pulls away down the hallway, showing envelopes on the floor outside most of the hotel rooms. The song continues.

The song stops abruptly as a telephone rings, with JOSH in his bed, head under his pillow. He answers it.

JOSH (groggily, into phone)
Mmm … hello.

RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.

JOSH
Thank you. 

He hangs up the phone. He sighs and groans as the screen fades to black.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.

The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x13 – King Corn
Original Airdate: January 26, 2005







 

THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: 365 Days (S6E12)

THE WEST WING
6X12 - “365 DAYS”
WRITTEN BY MARK GOFFMAN
DIRECTED BY ANDREW BERNSTEIN

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

365 DAYS

FADE IN: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

TOBY is being interviewed for TV. We see several TV monitors showing TOBY and the INTERVIEWER as ANNABETH, CAROL, and others look on.

INTERVIEWER
Well, the speech was one of the President’s best, and thank you for not making it too long.

TOBY
We were aiming for pith.

INTERVIEWER
And you succeeded. We’ve been speaking with Toby Ziegler, author of President Bartlet’s final State of the Union address. Thank you.

TOBY
Pleasure.

A DIRECTOR calls out ‘Clear’ as the interview ends and TOBY and the INTERVIEWER stand. CAROL hands a folder to TOBY.

INTERVIEWER
That was great. That section on prescription drugs, I was wondering if the coverage was the same -

TOBY
I’m sorry, I’ve gotta … uh …

CAROL
CJ’s waiting for you.

TOBY
Thanks.

CAROL (handing TOBY some notes)
And here.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

TOBY comes out of the Roosevelt Room, holding a cup of coffee, and meets CJ as she walks down the corridor.

CJ
Congratulations.

TOBY
Don’t.

CJ
Dials soared.

TOBY
Please don’t.

CJ
Don’t get me started on the crosstabs.

TOBY
Trying not to, in fact.

There is a slight pause.

TOBY
Is he here yet?

CJ
Any minute.

TOBY
We sure – we sure he’s ready for this?

CJ
He says he is.

TOBY
Still, 7 am …

CJ
It’s the only time we could fit it into everyone’s schedule. Says he has some thoughts he wants to share.

TOBY
Some thoughts?

CAROL crosses behind TOBY and CJ.

CAROL
Fantastic speech, Toby.

TOBY
Oh, thank you.

CJ
You really can’t take a compliment.

TOBY
Oh, no.

CJ
Taylor Reid even said it was the President’s finest State of the Union.

TOBY
Yeah, ‘cause it’s his last.

CUT TO: INT. - CAR – DAY

LEO is riding in the back of a car. We hear the news announcer on the radio as he sits, tapping his fingers on his thigh.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
In last night’s State of the Union address, the President called for the largest expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit in more than fifty -

The car pulls to a stop.

DRIVER
Here we are, sir.

LEO
Yeah.

ANNOUNCER (VO)
Turning to international news, President Bartlet announced a joint Sino-American task force -

The ANNOUNCER’s voice fades as LEO opens the door and gets out of the car. He looks around, takes a moment, then walks into the entrance of the West Wing.

CUT TO: INT. - WEST WING FOYER – DAY

GUARD
Good to have you back, Mr. McGarry.

LEO (signing in)
Thanks, Brian.

As LEO walks into the foyer, a WOMAN crosses in front of him.

WOMAN
Good to have you back, Mr. McGarry.

LEO continues down a hallway, eventually opening the door of CJ’s old Press Secretary office, which will become his. Inside he finds a group of the Presidential staff, including CJ, TOBY, ANNABETH, KATE, WILL, CHARLIE, ED, LARRY, and an INTERN. They all applaud, and LEO smiles broadly.

CJ
Welcome back, boss.

LEO
Thought we were keeping this low-key, just a couple of us kicking a few ideas around?

CJ (kissing LEO on the cheek)
This is low-key, Annabeth wanted to bring in the Marine marching band.

LEO (as everyone chuckles)
Ahh …

CJ
Word got out and everybody wanted to come, and hear what you had to say.

WILL
Good to see you, Leo.

OTHERS
Welcome back. Welcome back, Leo.

LEO
Thanks, thanks. (seeing TOBY) Ah – man of the hour.

WILL (as all applaud)
Hear, hear. Come now, no false modesty.

TOBY
It’s actually self-loathing.

CHARLIE
It was a great speech.

CJ
Charlie, Toby. Have you met?

ANNABETH
Press response has been terrific. (to TOBY) Stop being such a pill.

LEO
Well … I really wasn’t -

We hear KATE’s Blackberry beeping. She pulls it out to read it.

LEO
- expecting to have to address a convention but I can -

CJ
Before we get started, we all got you a little something.

ED hands LEO a package.

LEO
Completely unnecessary, truly.

CJ’s Blackberry now starts beeping, and she takes hers out as well.

TOBY 
Just for the record, I voted for the watch.

LEO (opening the package)
My very own defibrillator.

Everyone chuckles.

LEO
Well, like I was saying, um … I wasn’t really expecting to discuss this with such a large group, but … I’ve been thinking, and this might be an excellent time to -

There is a knock at the door, and a military OFFICER appears.

OFFICER
Commander?

KATE (exiting)
Uh, sorry.

LEO
No problem. I rather unexpectedly found myself with a bit of spare time on my hands these last few months. We’ve been here, seven trips around the sun.

Now WILL’s pager goes off.

LEO
Done some things we’re proud of. Things we’re less pleased about -

WILL
Uh, the Vice President, I should probably … 

LEO
Sure.

WILL (exiting)
Just be a minute.

LEO
It may be time for us to take our own temperature – an internal inventory.

KATE appears back in the doorway.

KATE
Can I borrow CJ for a moment?

CJ (exiting)
Sorry.

LEO
Sure. What’s done, what’s undone – what’s done that we’d like to undo – or, do over … do away with …

We now see CJ and KATE talking just outside LEO’s office.

KATE
Demonstration in Bolivia outside our embassy. Big one.

CJ
Over the ambassador’s statement.

KATE
It’s being seen as interfering in their election.

CJ
The guy is a Socialist.

KATE
Yeah.

CJ
Who says, if elected, he’ll immediately halt their coca eradication program.

KATE
Yep.

CJ (beat)
We should get into this.

KATE
I’ll call DOD, Intel, the Undersecretary for Low Grade Conflicts.

CJ
We have an Undersecretary for Low Grade Conflicts?

KATE
Be glad he’s who I’m calling.

KATE walks away as CJ goes back into LEO’s office, where he is still talking.

LEO
… fight the seduction of tumult for tumult’s sake.

CJ
I need Charlie.

LEO
Of course.

CJ leads CHARLIE out into the hallway.

CJ
There’s a situation in Bolivia.

CHARLIE
Serious?

CJ
Low grade, evidently. Get with Margaret, see what meetings you can cover, what needs to be moved.

CHARLIE
Okay.

CJ
What’s Leo talking about in there?

CHARLIE
I’m really not sure.

As CJ and CHARLIE continue on their ways, we see WILL talking on his cell phone in the policy bullpen.

WILL (into phone)
Sir, one week doesn’t seem … can we discuss it?

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – DAY

ED
Didn’t we just kind of do this? Taking inventory?

LARRY
Little thing called the State of the Union.

LEO
The State of the Union was fine -

CAROL steps into the office.

CAROL
Excuse me, Leo. (to ANNABETH) Labor Secretary’s panicked about his press conference.

ANNABETH
I’ll be right back. (exiting) Man’s an infant. It’s about time he got a good spanking.

TOBY
I’d better, uh …

LEO
Referee.

TOBY (exiting)
Sorry.

CHARLIE comes back to the doorway.

LEO
Welcome back.

CHARLIE (referring to ED and LARRY)
Actually, just came to get these guys. Situation. Juggling some things.

LEO
Go on.

CHARLIE takes ED and LARRY out of the office. Only LEO and the INTERN are left. LEO looks around uncomfortably.

INTERN
Are we done, Mr. McGarry?

LEO
No. Not yet.

LEO turns to a whiteboard set up next to the window. He picks up a marker and writes ‘365,’ then underlines it twice.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

DR. MIKE GORDON is examining BARTLET. He is wearing a stethoscope as he removes a blood pressure cuff. ABBEY is seated nearby, reading.

GORDON
Balance is back. Any numbness? Pain?

BARTLET
Physical or existential?

GORDON (chuckling)
Any chance of getting the odd straight answer?

ABBEY
Good luck with that.

BARTLET
Nada. Spiritual or otherwise. (to ABBEY) You don’t have to go.

ABBEY
They’ll think we’re northeast Yankee elitists. 

BARTLET
And be correct.

ABBEY
We could make the occasional effort.

BARTLET
Five hundred laps around an oval. An entire sport predicated on the expectation of the grand ginn-ol.

ABBEY
Guignol, Guignol. If you’re going to brag about your intellectual hauteur, at least get your fancy references right. Grand Guignol, connoting the sanguinary, buckets of blood, like – hockey.

BARTLET
Leave my Bruins out of this.

GORDON (handing a folder to ABBEY)
Martinsville Speedway. You’re in for a treat.

ABBEY
See, there are people with most of their teeth that are actual NASCAR fans.

BARTLET (to GORDON)
Are you really a doctor, I didn’t get a close look at your credentials.

GORDON
First in my class. University of Daytona.

BARTLET
Oooh, now who’s with the not-so-straight answers?

ABBEY (to GORDON)
He prefers to be the amusing one. Fun for the rest of us. So, is he well enough to join me?

GORDON
Uh, pressure, vitals are fine, but I’d rather he didn’t push himself after last night.

BARTLET
Dang.

ABBEY (to GORDON)
He put you up to this.

BARTLET (to ABBEY, kissing her on the cheek)
Enjoy the Grand Guignol. Horror and sensationalism, not blood. Look it up.

As ABBEY and GORDON leave, BARTLET knocks on the door of CJ’s office and leans inside.

BARTLET
The President will see you now.

As BARTLET returns to the Oval Office, TOBY, KATE and CJ file in behind him.

KATE
Sir, Zalaya’s now polling a close second in Bolivia.

BARTLET
Wasn’t he fourth? Maybe our ambassador can say something new and inflammatory, help him bridge that final gap.

CJ
There’s concern about rioting outside our embassy.

KATE
We need you to make a statement affirming our impartiality.

BARTLET
You mean, pretend to a disinterest no one’s gonna believe because some diplomat happened to have too much - what do they drink down there?

TOBY
As I recall the ambassador’s not a stickler, sir.

BARTLET
I’m not declaring to an indifference that’ll provoke international guffaws.

KATE
Sir, if Zalaya wins he’s pledged to renationalize their industries, stop payment on their six billion dollar debt, and remove all US imperialist forces from Bolivia.

BARTLET
The imperialist forces their government expressly invited in.

KATE
Well, up to now they’ve been one of our most cooperative allies in the war on drugs.

TOBY
Since no one ever wins and it never ends, maybe we should stop calling it a war.

KATE
Fine. But we have 2000 troops and seven battleships in Latin America, and our pilots engage daily in hostile gunfire as they spray coca fields, but we don’t have to call it a war.

CJ
How about a low-grade conflict?

KATE
State feels we could tamp things down if you could just walk the ambassador’s statement back.

TOBY (writing)
‘The United States remains neutral in all free elections … and discourages any manner of external interference.’

BARTLET
I can probably keep a straight face through that. Is it enough?

KATE
You may want to specify with regard to Bolivia.

BARTLET
‘This means you, La Paz.’

KATE
So it’s reported in the Latin press.

BARTLET
The Latin press will just have to figure it out. What’s next?

CUT TO: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE – DAY

LEO is waiting outside the Oval Office. DEBBIE is bustling about doing administrative things. A news report can be faintly heard on a TV in the background.

DEBBIE
You wouldn’t be more comfortable waiting in your office?

LEO
This is fine.

There is a pause as DEBBIE walks to her desk.

DEBBIE 
I’m sure you could go in and join them.

LEO
I’ll wait.

DEBBIE (sitting)
They should be done any minute. (pause) Can I get you some water or anything?

LEO
I’m good, Deb, I’m sure you’ve got things to worry about other than me.

DEBBIE
You never called me ‘Deb’ before.

LEO
No?

DEBBIE
President does, sometimes.

LEO
Mmm-ah.

DEBBIE
I actually – kind of hate it.

LEO
I’m sorry.

DEBBIE
It’s okay, you didn’t know.

LEO
Ever tell the President?

DEBBIE (standing and going across the room)
Hard to work it in. ‘Sir, the North Koreans just threatened to rain nuclear fire on Japan again, the NASDAQ is tanking, there’s a, a category four hurricane making landfall in the Keys and, oh, don’t call me Deb.’

LEO
You should tell him.

The door to the Oval Office opens and KATE steps out.

KATE
Oh, hey, Leo – uh, sorry about this morning.

LEO
It happens.

KATE
I got this Bolivia thing.

LEO
I understand.

KATE
Love to get your perspective on it.

LEO
Maybe after I’ve seen the President.

KATE
Maybe later.

LEO
Whenever.

KATE starts to leave, then stops and turns.

KATE
Uh, this afternoon?

LEO
Sure, if that’s good.

KATE
Yeah, yeah … (checking her Blackberry) 3:30?

LEO
See you then.

KATE
Looking forward to it.

KATE exits. LEO is left standing in the outer office. He notices a painting on the wall.

LEO
Was that Thomas Paine always there?

DEBBIE
I thought that was Nathan Hale, ‘I regret I only have but one life,’ et cetera, et cetera.

LEO
Paine. ‘These are the times that try men’s souls.’

DEBBIE
Get over yourself, Tom.

LEO continues to gaze at the portrait.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

CJ and TOBY continue their meeting with BARTLET.

CJ
Ways and Means has some procedural issues with the Earned Income Tax Credit.

TOBY
But I think there’s movement.

BARTLET
Ten billion’s the goal, but it’s an election year. I’m realistic.

CJ
Overwhelming response to the State of the Union. Thirty-six interruptions for applause. 

BARTLET
Ah, I don’t know what’s more embarrassing – that we count them or that I care. 

CJ
Very impressive.

BARTLET (referring to TOBY)
I blame him.

TOBY
Wasn’t me.

CJ
He’s doing his annual sackcloth and ashes bit.

BARTLET
And I used to think it was a way of harvesting even more compliments, now I understand it’s just self-abnegation and clinical despair.

TOBY
Man understands me.

There’s a knock at the door and DEBBIE leans inside.

DEBBIE
Mr. President, uh, Leo McGarry is outside.

BARTLET
He’s been waiting all this time?

DEBBIE
Yes, and you’re late for your NSA briefing on Chechnya.

BARTLET
Okay, thanks guys -

CJ
Thank you, Mr. President.

BARTLET
- do the thing with the knocking again in five minutes.

DEBBIE 
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Thanks, Deb.

LEO enters, squeezing past DEBBIE while giving her a meaningful look. TOBY and CJ are now gone.

BARTLET
Leo, have I said how great it is having you back?

LEO
A few times.

BARTLET
Oh. Sorry.

LEO
Everyone has. Not quite sure what you want me doing?

BARTLET
What you always did – make me smarter.

LEO
By comparison? Absolutely.

They both chuckle.

LEO
Oh, congratulations on last night.

BARTLET
I planned a morning resting on my laurels, but there’s this I-don’t-know-what in Bolivia. Courtland and his big yap.

LEO
Wonder why he said it.

BARTLET
He’s an idiot. He was always an idiot, why do you think we made him ambassador to Bolivia? What, why do you think he said it?

LEO
Have you given some thought to how I might make myself useful? I don’t want to undermine CJ -

There is a knock at the door and DEBBIE leans inside.

DEBBIE
Sorry to interrupt, Mr. President, but President Trenier is holding for you.

BARTLET (to LEO)
That’s something you can do, talk to the French.

LEO (standing to go)
No. Merci.

BARTLET
Sorry, I gotta take this.

LEO
Of course.

BARTLET
The day’s getting away from me, how about dinner tonight?

LEO
Be great.

BARTLET (picking up the phone)
I don’t care how many times I’ve said it; it’s a great thing you’re back.

LEO (turning to go)
See you tonight, Mr. President.

BARTLET (into phone)
Bonjour, Mr. President. Yes, I’m really looking forward to the G-8 in Paris.

CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY

ANNABETH and CHARLIE are having a discussion.

ANNABETH
I know what it is, it just has a dull name.

CHARLIE (following ANNABETH into her office as CAROL also enters)
Earned Income Tax Credit. It’s the one government program that actually sounds like what it is.

ANNABETH
Exactly. D-U-L-L. (handing papers to CAROL) Oh, this goes to DNC and this one’s a blast fax.

CHARLIE
It was a highlight of the President’s address last night.

ANNABETH (making corrections on the second piece of paper)
By highlight you mean a chance for viewers to wonder whether they’re gonna have sex that night or, plan what they’re gonna wear in the morning -

CAROL (taking the second piece of paper)
Thank you, and you have -

ANNABETH
I know.

CAROL exits.

CHARLIE
It’s important. Thirty-six million Americans live below the poverty line, which is a million more than last year.

ANNABETH
Let’s shout that out from the rooftops, why don’t we?

CHARLIE
We blame the Republicans.

ANNABETH
Oh, there’s a fresh angle.

LARRY comes to the doorway holding a sheaf of papers.

LARRY
Charlie, you see the HUD Samaritan bill markup?

CHARLIE
Secretary spoke to the budget director this morning.

LARRY exits.

CHARLIE
No government program will do more to lift children out of poverty than the EITC.

ANNABETH
Oh, God, I thought the name was dull, the acronym’s worse. You’ve been working on this for two months and you can’t find a catchier handle? ‘Marriage penalty.’ ‘Death tax.’ Now, that you remember.

ANNABETH walks briskly out, joined by CAROL.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – DAY

The office is empty except for a chair, a small desk, a cart with a TV and VCR, and the whiteboard we saw earlier. LEO is reading as MARGARET comes in, carrying a large stack of VHS videotapes.

MARGARET
Leo!

LEO
Margaret.

MARGARET (looking around the room)
Who did this to you?

LEO
I got rid of everything.

MARGARET
Oh, I should have gone with the mahogany, I had a feeling -

LEO
I don’t want any clutter.

MARGARET (beat) 
It’s a look.

LEO (referring to the videotapes)
Are those the, um -

MARGARET
I’m still looking for the second inaugural.

She looks for a place to put the tapes down.

LEO
Floor’s good.

MARGARET
Really?

LEO
Mm-hmm.

MARGARET
Tower or pile?

LEO
Surprise me.

There’s a knock at the door and KATE appears.

KATE
Hey.

LEO
Hey.

KATE
I just found out, uh, eight US contractors are being held at gunpoint in Bolivia. Intel’s sketchy but it looks like it might be by Zalaya supporters.

LEO
Hmm. (to MARGARET, as she puts the tapes on the floor) Thanks for the tapes.

KATE
People are gathering down in the Sit Room if you want -

LEO
Oh, I’m sure you can all handle this. 

KATE stares at LEO.

LEO (to MARGARET)
Let me know if you find that second inaugural.

MARGARET
Sure.

MARGARET and KATE share a look.

KATE
I should -

LEO
Yeah. 

KATE walks away.

LEO (to MARGARET)
CJ’s probably looking for you.

MARGARET
Right.

LEO walks to the door as MARGARET backs out, and he shuts it. He goes through the pile of videotapes, selects one, puts it in the VCR, and starts to play it. We hear the voice of BARTLET from the tape.

BARTLET (VO)
- is an age of possibility, of great trials, but also tremendous opportunities. We need to set our nation on a new course, create a new history …

The camera pulls back outside LEO’s office, showing him through the window, watching the tape of an old BARTLET speech as the work of the West Wing goes on around him.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – DAY

CJ, KATE, SECRETARY HUTCHINSON, CIA DIRECTOR ROLLIE, and other military officers around the table stand as BARTLET enters.

OFFICER
Ten-hut!

BARTLET
At ease. What’s the story?

KATE (as everyone takes their seats)
US contractors were ambushed and captured in the Chapare jungle.

BARTLET
How many?

KATE
Eight.

BARTLET
Alive?

CJ
As far as we know.

BARTLET
Captured by who?

KATE
They describe themselves as Zalaya supporters.

BARTLET
I have some enthusiastic supporters, they don’t go around holding people at gunpoint … much as I’d sometimes wish they would.

HUTCHINSON
These are paramilitaries, sir.

CJ
Run for President down there, you get your own private army?

HUTCHINSON
South America. If Bolivia wasn’t landlocked, he’d have his own navy, too.

KATE
They’re claiming the contractors are CIA, sent down to hijack the election.

BARTLET
Are they?

ROLLIE
No, sir.

CJ
What are they doing there?

HUTCHINSON
They’re private citizens.

BARTLET
Who happen to take camouflage gear with them on vacation?

KATE
They’re part of the coca eradication effort, sir.

ROLLIE
They work for the government.

CJ
The Bolivian government?

KATE
US government.

CJ
Sorry.

KATE
State has a $700 million contract with Tarmacorp, which employs them.

CJ
And they’re armed?

HUTCHINSON
Of course they’re armed, they’re spraying coca fields run by drug cartels.

BARTLET
I think what CJ’s driving at is the difference between what they call them and what we call them is more like dolphins and porpoises rather than lions and bats. What are the captors’ demands?

KATE
That’s just it. They haven’t made any.

HUTCHINSON
We think this may be an election stunt.

KATE
Zalaya got such a bounce from our ambassador’s statement, could be he figures a trumped-up US tampering charge puts him over the top.

BARTLET
Our guys were there spraying coca fields, we’re certain of that?

ROLLIE
Not necessarily themselves directly -

BARTLET
I know they may not attach the hose to the nozzle, but they were doing eradication work?

ROLLIE
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
They weren’t freelancing? Maybe doing some electoral strong-arming in their free time?

ROLLIE
There’s no evidence of that.

BARTLET
Make damn sure, would you, please? Our history down there is such that people are gonna find it a lot easier to believe Zalaya’s charges than our denials. It may not make a hell of a lot of difference, but when we call him a liar I’d prefer we be right.

KATE
Okay, next crisis – Korea. A three-foot hole has appeared in the DMZ fence.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ comes around a corner and down a set of stairs as TOBY joins her and they both walk down the corridor.

TOBY
Intergovernmental Affairs needs to announce the Indian healthcare reauthorization.

CJ
It’s gonna get trumped by this Bolivia thing.

TOBY
Where are we on that?

CJ
Making certain our guys weren’t doing what Zalaya says they were.

TOBY
Then?

CJ
Liar, liar, pants on fire.

TOBY
It won’t rhyme in Spanish, don’t want you to be disappointed.

CJ
The President took another turn at whack-a-DCI.

TOBY
Guy’s gotta quit, doesn’t he?

CJ
God, I hope not, it’s too much fun. Besides, it’s the only person the President ever picks on. The CIA director goes, could be you or me, bucko.

TOBY
It’s already been me. Are we at all concerned about our checkered history down there: Allende, the CIA, and Che Guevara?

CJ
Yeah. We don’t have much credibility.

TOBY
You’ll talk to Intergovernmental Affairs?

CJ
In my spare time.

TOBY heads off in another direction as CJ approaches WILL.

CJ
Thank the VP for pitching in on State of the Union followthrough.

WILL
About that …

CJ
Will …

WILL
He’s out there, he’s shilling.

CJ
Shilling? You mean showing loyalty to an administration he happens to be serving in?

WILL
It’s the President’s agenda. I don’t recall burning much midnight oil discussing what’d help us in the primaries. He’ll do his bit this week because the President can’t, but after that, the campaign comes first.

CJ
On second thought, maybe don’t thank him so much.

CJ continues on into the Mural Room.

VOICE
Hello, Ms. Cregg.

CJ
Governor, everyone, sorry to keep you waiting.

VOICE 2
Hello, CJ.

CUT TO: INT. - ANNABETH’S OFFICE – DAY

TOBY stands outside ANNABETH’s door to talk to her, sitting at her desk with a phone to her ear.

TOBY
First Lady’s gonna be attending a stock car race.

ANNABETH (giving a thumbs up)
Hell, yeah!

TOBY
Excuse me?

ANNABETH
Colorful regional colloquialism betokening enthusiasm of a visceral-if-not-rowdy variety. (into phone) You’re making this too complicated.

TOBY
I want you to prep her.

ANNABETH
It’s a bunch of cars going real fast around an oval. There, I’m done. (into phone) It’s a food pyramid, not the human genome.

TOBY
There are fish-out-of-water concerns. This is your dream come true, Eliza Doolittle gets to tutor Henry Higgins.

ANNABETH
I’ll see if I can’t find my redneck-to-snob dictionary. (into phone) Here’s the message – eat less bread.

ANNABETH hangs up the phone.

TOBY
What, you’re offended?

ANNABETH
You’re implying I’m some kind of hayseed hillbilly hick?

TOBY
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply it. It was more of an emphatic assertion.

ANNABETH
Watch it, we rubes know how to throw down.

TOBY
Just teach her some terms - a vocabulary.

ANNABETH
Well, for starters, no one ‘attends’ a stock car race, you’re just goin’. Like as not, goin’ drunk.

TOBY
Good – but I don’t think Dr. Bartlet will be getting liquored up.

ANNABETH
Too bad. Otherwise, it gets kinda boring.

TOBY (sighs)
Teach her when to cheer. Stuff like that. Just make sure we avoid a flyover values disaster.

ANNABETH
Sorry?

TOBY
People in the middle of the country who you fly over when you’re trying to get to -

ANNABETH
Real cities? Can’t imagine why you’re worried about offending them.

CAROL appears in the doorway.

CAROL
The Labor Secretary?

ANNABETH grins at TOBY, staring at her. He then begins to chuckle as he walks out of the office.

TOBY 
Yeah, thanks.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – DAY

LEO continues to watch tapes of previous BARTLET speeches.

BARTLET (on tape)
Interdiction without intervention - eradication without education - leaves root causes to linger and fester, damning our most vigorous efforts -

As the camera moves around LEO, we see WILL standing in the doorway.

WILL
What are you watching?

LEO (turning off the tape)
State of the Union.

WILL
I don’t remember hearing that last night.

LEO
Second year.

WILL
Oh.

LEO
You need something?

WILL
Oh, just felt bad about running out on you this morning. Wanted to see if there was a time you could catch me up.

LEO
Whenever’s good.

WILL
This afternoon?

LEO
Mm-hmm.

WILL
Who should I coordinate the time with?

LEO
That’d be me.

WILL
Uh, okay. How’s 6:00?

LEO
That works.

WILL
I’ll be here.

LEO
I don’t mind going over, could stand the exercise.

WILL
Naw, I’ll come to you.

LEO
That’s fine.

WILL
See you then.

WILL walks away, then looks back through the windows as LEO restarts the tape of BARTLET’s speech.

BARTLET (on tape)
- cost to our national treasury, as well as our citizenry, trapped in a disease as insidious as it is neglected.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

TOBY and CHARLIE and some other staffers are meeting with Congressional Representatives, including SWARTHOUT, AUREN, and GLEESON.

TOBY
You’re bailing.

SWARTHOUT
We’re not bailing.

TOBY
The Earned Income Tax Credit is a Democratic issue!

AUREN
We can probably push it out of committee at $500 million.

TOBY
Great. The President called for $10 billion.

SWARTHOUT
That would be more.

CHARLIE
He got an applause break. From both sides of the aisle.

AUREN
That was last night. In the sober light of dawn, the Republicans are going to insist on added enforcements.

TOBY (taking a note from a staffer who just entered the room)
Why does their sobriety give me a hangover?

GLEESON
Fraud prevention, accounting measures -

CHARLIE
These are families at the bottom rung of the educational ladder. Adding paperwork is just going to confuse them.

TOBY (giving the note back)
Tell them I’ll be there in a few minutes.

GLEESON
It’s all right. We’re done.

TOBY
No, we’re not done and you’re not bailing.

AUREN
It’s a Republican Congress, and we have to be flexible.

TOBY
Why does no one ever come in here and say, ‘This is a Democratic White House, maybe we should start reflecting it?’!

SWARTHOUT
We don’t have the votes.

GLEESON
Day after the State of the Union, Presidents customarily go barnstorming to sell it. Don’t lecture us on how to wield this White House’s clout.

TOBY slams his notebook shut as the Congresspeople leave.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ is walking down the corridor with TOBY and CHARLIE.

CJ
She really said that?

TOBY
If she wasn’t a woman, we might have had to throw down. (as CJ looks at him quizzically) Regional colloquialism.

CHARLIE
So what’s the next step?

TOBY
I’m not sure there is one.

CHARLIE
The EITC’s just dead?

CJ
No, no, Timmy, it’s at a nice farm out in the country where it can play with other dogs. How did last night turn into this morning?

TOBY
Bolivian blowup, bad employment numbers, a hole in the fence -

They enter CJ’s office to find everything rearranged, filing cabinets in the middle of the room, tables upended on other tables.

CJ
And now no furniture.

MARGARET enters. We then see LEO behind her, slowly making his way into CJ’s office.

MARGARET
The Majority Leader’s been in the Treaty Room since, well – he says since Tuesday, the NOAA Administrator called about the flood area in Hawaii. He’s setting up a conference call with FEMA and the Governor, and – you have a meeting with Leo.

LEO
If things are too wild, I can always find you later.

MARGARET (to TOBY)
Carol’s looking for you, something about the Labor Secretary threatening to quit.

TOBY exits.

MARGARET (to CJ)
You saw the new furniture?

CJ (to LEO)
Leo, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to -

LEO
Sure. We’ll get to it.

CJ (to CHARLIE)
Majority Leader, natural disaster.

CJ and CHARLIE leave in different directions. MARGARET and LEO are left standing in the office.

MARGARET
Busy day.

LEO
Yeah.

MARGARET heads back to her desk. LEO looks around at the furniture pushed to the middle of the room.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

WILL comes up to join TOBY as he walks through the foyer.

TOBY
One week.

WILL
Could we not do this?

TOBY
One week in support of the man who plucked him out of obscurity.

WILL
He was a widely known Congressman.

TOBY
As a joke. You and I made fun of him together.

WILL
You guys picked him. I wasn’t in that room.

TOBY
You think I was?

WILL
Then be mad at the President, or Leo, or whoever else was there! And pick a position – you can’t think he’s a complete joke and embarrassment and then be upset he’s not out there helping you more -

TOBY
Yes, I can.

WILL
Look – he’s supportive. He’ll continue to be.

TOBY
If it’s in his interest.

WILL
Oh, I’m sorry, have the rules of politics been suspended this year?

TOBY
The rules of politics should be suspended any chance we get. It’s disloyalty!

WILL
The Vice President has been nothing but steadfast.

TOBY
I wasn’t talking about him.

TOBY walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – DAY

LEO continues to sort through the stack of videotapes. CHARLIE comes in the door.

CHARLIE
Hey, Leo.

LEO
Hey.

CHARLIE
Whatcha watching?

LEO
Old State of the Unions.

CHARLIE
What for?

LEO
Just curious. How you doing?

CHARLIE
A little whiplashed. Last night was such a high.

LEO
There as a staffer, sitting at the adult table -

CHARLIE
Watched it at home. My sister threw me a party ‘cause I got a line in the speech.

LEO
Which one?

CHARLIE
‘We must help those working hardest to help themselves.’

LEO
I see your fingerprints all over it.

CHARLIE
Only EITC’s already in trouble.

LEO
The whiplash.

CHARLIE
Yeah.

LEO
House Dems?

CHARLIE
They’re defeatist. And Annabeth doesn’t like its name.

LEO
She’s not wrong. I don’t get excited when I hear EITC, do you?

CHARLIE
Maybe if it had a more memorable name, it’d be easier to fight for? I think if we could define it more clearly as a tax cut – so a vote against it is seen as raising taxes on the working poor.

LEO looks at CHARLIE steadily as CHARLIE thinks.

CHARLIE
I don’t see how you easily oppose it.

LEO continues to look at CHARLIE.

CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY

TOBY comes into the bullpen as CAROL and others are watching an interview on the TV. We hear the voice of a woman, MRS. CREASY, being interviewed.

MRS. CREASY (VO, on TV)
I had just dropped off my kids at school. Thank God, because I don’t know what to tell them …

TOBY (looking up at the TV)
Who’s - ?

CAROL
Contractor’s wife.

Now we see MRS. CREASY on the screen.

MRS. CREASY (on TV)
… they said, call my Congressman, I, I called him, he said call the State Department. No one is, taking responsibility.

ANNABETH (shouting from her office)
Toby!

TOBY (turning to go into ANNABETH’s office)
Yeah …

MRS. CREASY (on TV)
My husband is, is an engineer. Not a soldier.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE – DAY

CJ walks towards the Oval Office door, speaking to DEBBIE as she passes by her desk.

CJ
Hi. I need a few minutes with the President.

DEBBIE
Not in there.

CJ (stopping)
Oh. I don’t have anything.

DEBBIE
He’s in the residence.

CJ
Oh. Okay.

CJ starts for the door to the portico.

DEBBIE
Napping.

CJ stops again.

DEBBIE
Not to be disturbed unless there’s an emergency.

CJ
It wasn’t on my schedule.

DEBBIE
Or mine.

CJ
Will you let me know when he comes back down?

DEBBIE (looking up at CJ wryly)
My first call.

CJ exits.

CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM – DAY

ABBEY is in the Mural Room with some of her staff. ANNABETH appears at the door.

ABBEY
Oh … are you the one who’s gonna teach me proper speedway decorum?

ANNABETH
How to win friends and influence yokels, yes, ma’am.

ABBEY
Ah – now, if I’d made a crack like that you’d think me a terrible snob.

ANNABETH
What did you turn down to make room for Martinsville?

ABBEY
NIH symposium on molecular structures and bioimaging. Not a lot of NASCAR crossover.

ANNABETH
Let’s start with the dress code. Jeans, T-shirt – oh, and can you borrow the President’s leather flight jacket?

ABBEY
You don’t find that a tad inappropriate?

ANNABETH
Well, there’ll be women there in bikinis on lounge chairs in the RV park, inappropriate’s still a ways off.

ABBEY
Ah.

ANNABETH
I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I know something that we can bond over so far as stock cars are concerned.

ABBEY
And that would be?

ANNABETH
We’re both women.

ABBEY
Okay.

ANNABETH
Women make up 45 percent of the audience for NASCAR events, more than any other major league sport.

ABBEY
Huh, I wonder why.

ANNABETH
Well, everyone has their theories, but I’m gonna tell you plain. It’s the drivers.

ABBEY
Huh.

ANNABETH
They’re a bunch of studs.

ABBEY
Mm-hmm.

ANNABETH
Well-built hotties running around in tight-fitting fire suits.

ABBEY
Hotties.

ANNABETH
Hotsy-tot Hottentot hotties – ma’am.

ABBEY (chuckling)
Well – that’s all very well and good, but I don’t -

ANNABETH slaps a photo of NASCAR driver Casey Mears on the table next to ABBEY.

ABBEY (admiring the photo)
Ooh, my.

ANNABETH
He’ll be there. (putting down a photo of Jeff Gordon) And him … oh, and this one …

ANNABETH adds a photo of Jamie McMurray to the pile.

ABBEY
The one with the eyes?

ANNABETH
One of the favorites.

ABBEY
I would imagine.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY

CJ is trying to work with CHARLIE on the sofa of her office, still in disarray with furniture piled up everywhere. TOBY and KATE enter.

CJ
You see the contractor’s wife?

TOBY
Yeah.

CJ
You’re gonna have to brief.

TOBY
These guys … absolutely, positively not CIA?

KATE
Definitely, definitively not.

CJ
Don’t lean on that, Toby.

KATE
Why?

CJ
They’re US-paid mercenaries, former military, most of them, Special Ops, SEALs, Marines -

TOBY
We’re in distinction-without-a-difference land.

CJ
Little bit.

KATE
I don’t see it that way.

CJ
It’s not your job to. They weren’t doing what they’ve been accused of, that’s our statement. And I’m late.

CJ gets up to leave, with KATE also walking out. CHARLIE starts out the door when TOBY stops him.

TOBY
Anyone talk to Leo?

CHARLIE
He’s in his office watching State of the Unions.

TOBY
Unions?

CHARLIE
Old ones.

CHARLIE leaves.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – DAY

LEO is putting a light bulb into  a lamp. KATE appears in the doorway, and knocks on the frame.

LEO
Yeah …

KATE
We said 3:30?

LEO
We did.

KATE (slowly entering)
So …

LEO continues making some notes on the desk.

KATE
What’s your day been like?

LEO
It’s quiet. Yours?

KATE
Not quiet.

LEO
Bolivia.

KATE
Yeah. Korea. Things down in Burundi …

LEO
What?

KATE
Oh, just … these contractors operate under such – vague guidelines just because that’s the way everyone wants it. And there’s no congressional oversight, no controls, and a whole lot of money changing hands.

LEO
You know these guys?

KATE
Not these, but … yeah, I know these guys. And it’s not just that it’s, futile, you know, I mean, as long as Americans are willing to pay $60 a gram for cocaine, some peasant farmer earning $60 a year is gonna grow it. But it’s just, so geopolitically counterproductive. We turn their villages into war zones, we destroy their land, we poison their families with herbicides and then we’re all surprised when they go vote for the Socialist.

KATE takes a big breath.

KATE
Uh, sorry … it’s a, um … crappy day.

LEO looks steadily at KATE.

KATE
It’s my annivorcery.

LEO
Um - anni–what?

KATE (as her pager goes off and she looks at it)
Annivorce. It’s the anniversary of my divorce.

LEO
Didn’t know you’d been married.

KATE
Couple times.

LEO
Hopeless romantic.

KATE
Hopeless, anyway. (chuckles uneasily) You?

LEO (holding up a finger)
Yeah.

KATE
Uh, what did you want to talk about?

The INTERN appears in the doorway.

INTERN
Sorry – Uh, Ms. Harper, they need you in the Situation Room.

KATE (sighing, to LEO)
Maybe later?

KATE walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

BARTLET comes walking in from the portico.

BARTLET
Debbie!

DEBBIE (entering from the outer office)
That wasn’t very long.

BARTLET
I couldn’t sleep.

DEBBIE
Couldn’t or wouldn’t?

BARTLET
I have three daughters and a wife, two of whom are also doctors – if you presume I don’t get enough of that sort of comment, you’re really not using your imagination.

DEBBIE
Naps are restorative. Churchill took them.

BARTLET
Churchill also maintained a 24-hour buzz. These days, people who drink that much during the day are encouraged to attend meetings.

DEBBIE
An individual perhaps more for veneration than emulation.

BARTLET
And I don’t know where all this restorative nonsense comes from. Every nap I’ve ever taken in my life has left me feeling groggy and on edge.

DEBBIE
I hadn’t noticed. The NSA called, Secretary of State, NSA again, saying talk to her before talking to the Secretary of State -

CUT TO: INT. - ANNABETH’S OFFICE – DAY

CHARLIE comes in the door.

CHARLIE
You’re right.

ANNABETH
About so much. To which specific or category of things are you presently referring?

CHARLIE
The Earned Income Tax Credit needs a better name.

ANNABETH
To brand it.

CHARLIE
Not just something zippier or catchier.

ANNABETH
Something to help you fight for it.

CHARLIE
To make it harder to fight against it.

CAROL appears in the doorway.

CAROL
Deputy Secretary Morrison again.

As CAROL departs ANNABETH sighs deeply.

ANNABETH
Workfare’s taken. Work Aid?

CHARLIE
Sounds like a handout. Employment Incentive.

ANNABETH
Oh, no, no, that’s terrible. Work Tax.

CHARLIE
It’s all a work tax. Poverty Tax.

ANNABETH
Mmm, that’s closer.

CHARLIE
Poor Tax. It’s simple, direct …

ANNABETH
Poor Tax. It’s good.

CAROL shows up again in the doorway.

CAROL
You want me to say you’ll call her back?

ANNABETH
No, I’ll be right there.

CHARLIE
Hard to argue on the floor of Congress to institute a Poor Tax.

ANNABETH
Yeah.

CHARLIE (smiling, turning to go)
Thanks.

ANNABETH (punching a button on the phone and picking up the receiver)
This is Annabeth.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – EVENING

LEO closes some blinds, making the room darker. TOBY walks in.

TOBY
Hey.

LEO
Hey.

TOBY
Sorry about this morning.

LEO
Oh, it happens.

TOBY
Heard you were watching old State of the Unions.

LEO
Heh, and inaugurals.

TOBY
Something wrong with this year’s speech?

LEO
What do you think?

TOBY
I wrote it.

LEO
You seemed remarkably uncomfortable accepting praise, even for you.

TOBY
What are you doing here, Leo? Watching old speeches and – reading about the founding fathers? We don’t have time for you to sit around like a garden Buddha parsing out fortune cookie wisdom, we’re getting buried alive here. (chuckling) Get up and grab a shovel.

LEO (picking up some notes)
‘While the assault weapons ban may have ended, the debate has not, and I will fight this Congress as long as the -’

TOBY
‘- as long as the senseless, needless violence continues.’ Second Inaugural.

LEO (reading again)
‘The promise of stem cell research has again been delayed by congressional ban. Imagine a child paralyzed by a spinal cord injury -’

TOBY
‘ - spinal cord injury, watching, waiting, knowing that politics is the obstacle to a cure.’ Third State of the Union, I know what we said. We all know what we said.

LEO
Last night’s State of the Union, you pulled your punches.

There is a pause.

TOBY
It was well-received.

LEO
It’s easy to applaud for something that no one’s gonna make you stand up and pass. (reading again) ‘By any measure, we’re losing the war on drugs. Demand is exactly the same, supply is the -’

TOBY
‘ - supply is the same, but prices have gone down.’

LEO
‘It’s time for a comprehensive new approach to this nation’s dependence on drugs.’ That was in your rough draft of last night’s speech.

TOBY
I cut it.

LEO
Who told you to?

TOBY
Nobody, nobody had to. You’ve had a heart attack and he can’t stand up! Day after every other State of the Union the President launches a month-long road show to stump for what was in it! (TOBY’s pager goes off) This year I get Bingo Bob, and a week.

TOBY walks out as LEO watches him go.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – DAY

The door opens and BARTLET enters.

OFFICER 
Ten-hut!

BARTLET (walking to the front of the room)
Let’s see it.

A video of one of the captured contractors, JONATHAN CREASY, is seen on the screen.

CREASY (on TV)
My name is Jonathan Creasy. I’m a private American citizen working for Tarmacorp, under a contract with the US government. I’m being held with seven Americans. We will be released subject to completion of a fair and free election of the Bolivian Presidential contest.

CJ
Fair and free translating to a Zalaya victory.

BARTLET
‘A private citizen under contract with the US government.’ Cognitive dissonance, anyone? (to HUTCHINSON) Where are we on this?

HUTCHINSON
A P-3 off the Misawa. PACCOM is coordinating the search.

CJ
Anything?

HUTCHINSON
No.

BARTLET
It’s a jungle out there. And the Bolivian government?

KATE
Rock and a hard place. They want to help their good friend the US, but are terrified of looking like they were helping in case Zalaya wins.

BARTLET
They don’t want to be up here in two week’s time seeking political asylum.

CJ
We find them, who mounts a rescue if not the Bolivians? Tarmacorp, us?

HUTCHINSON
Not us.

KATE
Tarmacorp’s flying Vietnam-era Hueys, they go down we end up with more contractors to find and rescue.

HUTCHINSON
They’re not US troops.

KATE
Why, because we pay them through a middleman?

HUTCHINSON
Nobody forced them to go down there.

KATE
Well, maybe you’ll get to explain that to their widows.

BARTLET
When’s the election?

CJ
Ten days.

BARTLET (beat)
Do we believe that Zalaya will release them?

KATE
If he wins.

BARTLET
And if he doesn’t?

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ and KATE have left the Situation Room and are walking in the corridor.

CJ
Will we find them?

KATE
A jungle, they know the best hiding places. We’ll need a tip.

CJ
These are tough guys. They gonna hold out to the election?

KATE
Well, you saw the video. When you’re being held, ten days is a long time.

CJ
Have you ever been held?

KATE
I’ve held other people. Twenty-four hours is a long time.

CUT TO: INT. - OUTSIDE LEO’S OFFICE – EVENING

WILL walks through the bullpen and up to LEO’s doorway. We see footage of MRS. CREASY’s interview playing on the TV news. LEO is sitting in his chair looking out the window. WILL knocks on the door.

LEO
Yeah? (turning to see it’s WILL) Oh, is it 6 o’clock already?

WILL
I can come back.

LEO
No, no, come in, come in. How you doing?

WILL
Oh, you know – have to head back to New Hampshire tomorrow afternoon. We’re up ten points in the polls. (beat) Getting tired of people treating me like I’ve sold my soul to the devil.

LEO
You think you have?

WILL
Well, I don’t think the VP’s the devil. And I don’t think I’ve sold my soul. I may have rented it out for a bit.

LEO
Why do you say that?

WILL
Well, I was mostly joking. I, I don’t think he’s the devil. I don’t know what I think of him, really.

LEO
Catalogue his qualities.

WILL
The negative ones everyone knows … and never ceases delighting in reminding me about.

LEO
His other qualities?

WILL
He’s … plain-spoken. He’s clear and direct. Doesn’t have a, multitrack mind like the President, but that’s not always a bad thing. The truth is, and I’m not sure I ever even realized this before now – I’ve spent the last year and a half looking for what you saw in him … you and the President, when you gave him this job. You picked Russell, him, to serve as VP to a President with a serious health condition. You were aware you were picking a potential successor. On some level, I’ve just trusted that, and assumed I’d eventually discover what you knew then. 

LEO
Have you?

WILL
Tell me what it was, we’ll compare notes. (LEO turns away) I know, doesn’t work like that. He’s my guy, I have to figure him out on my own.

CAROL knocks at the door.

CAROL
Sorry to interrupt, but you’ve got to see the First Lady.

CAROL leads LEO and WILL out to the Communications bullpen, where they’re joined by TOBY and ANNABETH and other staffers, all watching ABBEY at the NASCAR race on TV (MSNBC, to be exact).

TOBY
Let’s see it.

REPORTER (on TV, amid cheering)
… make her way out Victory Lane to congratulate McMurray, who is ecstatic after dominating here at Martinsville Speedway. Not sure if she’s ready to join the pit crew just yet.

On the TV, we see driver Jamie McMurray give ABBEY a kiss on the cheek and then a bear hug.

REPORTER (on TV)
There’s the kiss, ceremonial victory kiss … oops, caught her a bit by surprise there -

ANNABETH (to TOBY)
Such a good sport – to take one like that for the flyover states.

TOBY
Did you brief her, about the kiss?

ANNABETH
They loved it.

CAROL appears in front of TOBY and ANNABETH.

CAROL
The First Lady, for both of you.

ANNABETH
Who gets pissed about kissing a NASCAR driver?

TOBY (turning to leave with ANNABETH)
Another hour of my life gone.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – EVENING

CJ is on the phone. LEO appears behind her. The office has finally been reorganized and CJ has her desk again.

CJ (on phone)
Of course we want to avert a disaster in South Dakota, but I can’t take this to the President just yet. (beat) No. (beat) Thank you, Governor.

CJ hangs up.

LEO
Trouble in South Dakota?

CJ
In about a thousand years. Mount Rushmore’s on the move.

LEO
How far has it gone so far?

CJ
About an inch.

LEO looks around the office.

CJ
I hope you don’t mind.

LEO
Looks great. Nobody ever thought to put fresh-cut flowers on my desk, despite 18 acres of gardens outside. 

MARGARET (stepping in)
Majority Leader.

LEO
Oh, you should take that.

CJ (considering; to MARGARET)
I’ll call him back.

MARGARET nods and exits. CJ stands up and goes to LEO.

CJ
I could’ve used you in the Sit Room today.

LEO
I heard you had it under control.

CJ
Mmm, didn’t feel like it.

LEO
Never does.

They sit around the coffee table.

LEO
You’re doing great.

MARGARET (stepping in)
The President’s in the residence.

CJ
Does he want me to - ?

LEO
Oh, no, I’m sorry, that’s for me. (to MARGARET) Let him know I’m coming right up. (to CJ) We’re having dinner. Probably should have run that by the Chief of Staff.

CJ
Oh, Chief of Staff has enough on her plate. I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk today. We’ll find time tomorrow.

LEO (standing)
Sure.

LEO starts out, then stops by the door.

LEO
It was easier, for me. You as my Press Secretary, Sam, Josh, Toby -

CJ
Toby?

LEO
Toby’s always been Toby. Still took me a year to figure out what the hell I was doing, and those were the easy years.

CJ
We had easy years?

LEO
Easier than this.

LEO exits. CJ thinks a moment.

CJ
Margaret? What’s next?

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – NIGHT

BARTLET and LEO are having dinner.

BARTLET (chewing)
How’s yours?

LEO (with disdain)
This heart-healthy stuff, I have to keep reminding myself it’s good for me.

BARTLET
At least it resembles actual food. Abbey’s got me on this macrobiotic diet.

LEO
That does look a little grim.

BARTLET
What I wouldn’t give for a burger and fries.

LEO
A cream sauce. I’d like to have the occasional light cream sauce without everyone reacting like it’s a suicide attempt.

BARTLET (checking the door)
So, tonight, Abbey’s out of town. We can turn the residence into a fort and sword fight with empty paper towel rolls.

They both laugh as BARTLET stands up and pours himself coffee.

LEO
So you feel pretty good about last night’s State of the Union?

BARTLET
According to at least six op-eds, I set an ambitious national agenda.

LEO
Is that what you think?

BARTLET (beat)
You have a chance to figure out what you’d like to do around here?

LEO
Have you?

BARTLET
Don’t do this, Leo, not the day after the State of the Union.

LEO (standing)
Everyone’s walking around here like we’re finished! We got 365 more days!

BARTLET
It’s year eight, it’s a Republican Congress, and I’m hemorrhaging staff.

LEO
Four years ago we announced a blue ribbon commission on entitlements. Why wasn’t it mentioned? Two years ago, you announced a commitment to stem cell research.

BARTLET
The legislation died in Congress, Leo, you held the wake!

LEO
What happened to the drug treatment policy last night?

BARTLET
We had to narrow our focus -

LEO
Now’s the time to widen, not narrow focus – what are you saving your political capital for?

BARTLET
I have a responsibility to the party -

LEO
You have a responsibility to the country, sir.

BARTLET sets down his coffee and stalks away.

LEO
The American people sent you here for two terms. (pause) Eight years. (beat) So the last one’s gonna be harder. I’ve never known you to shy away from a fight.

BARTLET
And I’ve never had to make a speech based on the maximum amount of time I could stand up.

BARTLET sits, moodily considering. LEO slowly walks to him.

LEO
Those excuses I kept hearing all day? Nobody mentioned MS. Two-hundred and seventy-two words. That’s all Lincoln said at the Gettysburg Address, it took four minutes – and set the tone for the next century. You wanted to talk about what I could do here … it’s this.

BARTLET
Said the man with the double bypass.

LEO sits.

LEO
The both of us, sir, this is our last game. Let’s leave it all out on the field.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE ENTRANCE – NIGHT

9:57 PM

TOBY and CHARLIE are signing in at the guard desk. They walk through the hallway.

TOBY
You know why we got called in?

CHARLIE
No idea.

TOBY
Well, I almost got to eat dinner.

KATE comes up behind them.

KATE
You want to hear something depressing? This disrupts my evening not one bit.

ANNABETH and WILL join the group as they continue toward the Oval Office.

ANNABETH
Ten o’clock? I had a date.

WILL
You had a date tonight?

ANNABETH
Oh, I always have a date.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

The group steps into the Oval Office to find CJ waiting for them.

CJ
Welcome back. Sorry about the hour.

TOBY
What’s going on?

CJ
The President should be down in a minute.

The door to the portico opens and BARTLET steps in.

BARTLET
Everybody here?

CJ
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Follow me.

BARTLET leads the group out of the Oval Office, through the outer office.

ANNABETH
What’s this all about?

KATE
Stock market crash in Guyana, perhaps.

WILL
And me with all my money in sapodilla futures.

The group continues past the Roosevelt Room, where a custodian is cleaning the table.

CUT TO: INT. - LEO’S OFFICE – NIGHT

LEO is arranging the videotapes onto the shelves, cleaning up the formerly cluttered office space. There are chairs arranged in a semicircle as LEO stands next to his whiteboard, with ‘365’ still written on it. The group, led by BARTLET, steps inside.

LEO
Hey.

Several respond with ‘Hey’ and ‘Hi, Leo.’

LEO
Welcome.

BARTLET
Thank you all for coming back in on a school night. I had dinner with an old friend tonight. I thought everyone should hear what he had to say.

LEO
I want to read you something.

He puts on his glasses and picks up some papers from his desk.

LEO
‘The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; ‘tis dearness only that gives everything its value.’

CHARLIE (to TOBY)
You?

WILL
Thomas Paine.

TOBY
He said ‘tis … might have been a clue.

LEO
Busy day around here today. (to KATE) What’d you spend it on?

KATE
Uh, Bolivia.

LEO
Well, no, you spent it on a situation in Bolivia, a crisis. I understand that gravitational pull. North Korea pokes a hole in the fence, it gets your attention. As do whiny Cabinet members, floods, and new employment figures. Pretty soon it’s the whole day. Problem is, we’re running out of them.

LEO turns to the whiteboard, erases the ‘5’ and then writes ‘364 days.’ He circles it.

LEO
That’s how much time we have left. We have the ability to effect more change in a day at the White House than we’ll have in a lifetime once we walk out these doors. What do you want to do with them?

There is a pause as everyone takes in what LEO has said.

CJ
We should finally get serious about health care – whether it calls attention to the President’s MS or not.

LEO begins writing notes on the whiteboard.

KATE
A new approach to Latin America.

TOBY
A real commitment to drug treatment.

LEO
What else?

WILL
The Vice President and I think it’s time to talk about race in this country.

LEO
He’s right.

CHARLIE
I’ve got some ideas on how to increase opportunity for the working poor.

ANNABETH
We both do.

CJ
Talking about repackaging the EITC.

ANNABETH
Poor Tax.

WILL
Catchy.

TOBY
Comprehensive planning -

CHARLIE
That includes training, education, urban development -

KATE
Assault weapons ban -

CJ
Affordable housing -

WILL
HR 190 is going to shift the debate back to segregation -

The screen fades to black as the conversation continues.

ANNABETH
Isn’t that what you wanted?

WILL
Yeah. A resurgence in civil rights activism couldn’t hurt anyone ...

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

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The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x12 – 365 Days
Original Airdate: January 19, 2005