THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: Impact Winter (S6E9)

THE WEST WING
6x9 - “IMPACT WINTER”
WRITTEN BY DEBORA CAHN
DIRECTED BY LESLI LINKA GLATTER

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

IMPACT WINTER

FADE IN: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – DAY

JOSH and DONNA are sitting at JOSH’S desk. JOSH is reading a newspaper, DONNA is getting some muffins ready for breakfast. They are singing ‘Monday, Monday’ by The Mamas and The Papas.

JOSH (singing softly)
Monday, Monday …

DONNA (humming along)
La la, la la-la la …

JOSH (singing softly)
So good to me …

DONNA (humming along)
La la, la la-la la …

JOSH (singing)
Monday morning … 

The phone on JOSH’s desk rings and DONNA answers it.

DONNA (humming along)
La la … (into phone) Josh Lyman’s office.

JOSH (singing)
It’s everything I hoped it would beee … 

DONNA (into phone)
He’s got a lunch, but this afternoon’s wide open.

JOSH
(singing) Ee-eee - (to DONNA) Who is it?

DONNA
Didero’s office. (into phone) 3:00? Done. 

DONNA hangs up the phone.

JOSH
Who’s my lunch?

DONNA
Me.

JOSH
We’re having breakfast.

DONNA
We need to be able to have a conversation.

JOSH
What are we doing now?

DONNA
We get interrupted.

JOSH
Nothing’s going on here today.

DONNA
This lunch has been canceled six times, it’s going to kill you to buy me a salad?

JOSH (turning back to the paper and singing softly again)
Monday, Monday … 

He stops and JOSH and DONNA look at each other as she prepares her coffee.

JOSH (singing softly)
La, la …

The phone rings and DONNA answers it as ANNABETH knocks at the door.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman’s office.

JOSH (to ANNABETH)
Come on in.

ANNABETH walks in as DONNA hangs up the phone.

JOSH (to DONNA)
Who was it?

DONNA
Wrong number.

JOSH (to ANNABETH)
It’s a quiet day.

ANNABETH
Would you like to do the briefing?

JOSH
I really wouldn’t.

ANNABETH
You’d be quite good.

JOSH
The press room’s a mausoleum. Everybody’s on the plane, you got nothing to worry about.

ANNABETH
I’d just be more comfortable, if …

JOSH
I’m acting Chief of Staff. I don’t want to be acting Press Secretary on top of it.

DONNA (to ANNABETH)
They don’t like him.

JOSH
Just run through the schedule, and then you can skip out and do your Christmas shopping. Let me see.

JOSH reaches out and ANNABETH hands the daily schedule to him.

ANNABETH
President in China, six days of negotiation, day one, trade, WTOs, partridge, pear tree -

JOSH
Stellar.

ANNABETH
You think I should tease the North Korea stuff?

JOSH
No, if the Chinese won’t deal, we don’t want it to be obvious that everything else on the agenda was a lead up to the North Korea stuff.

ANNABETH (starting to leave)
So I’m making this put-out-the-garbage week what with everyone gone.

JOSH
Take out the trash.

ANNABETH (stopping at the door)
I’m sorry?

JOSH
Announcements we hope nobody hears?

ANNABETH
Yeah?

JOSH
Take out the trash, not put out the garbage.

ANNABETH
Okay.

The phone rings again and DONNA answers it.

JOSH
I’m just saying. It has a name.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman’s office.

ANNABETH
You don’t have anything else for me?

JOSH
Slow day.

DONNA (into phone)
Hang on.

DONNA puts the phone on speaker.

DONNA
CJ, you’ve got Josh and Annabeth.

CJ (on phone)
In about four minutes the wires are gonna report that the President’s in the midst of a pronounced multiple sclerosis episode, and for the moment does not have the use of his legs.

We cut to CJ on board Air Force One.

CJ (into phone)
We’re ditching the sightseeing, we’re staying three days, not six, but the substantive portions of the China summit will continue as planned.

Cut back to JOSH.

JOSH
They will?

CJ (on phone)
We’re playing it by ear. You got a pen?

DONNA
Yeah.

CJ (on phone)
State, Treasury, Hutchinson, the VP -

Back to CJ on the plane.

CJ (into phone)
- Berryhill’s office knows, but I don’t know if anybody got the Ambassador -

Back to JOSH.

JOSH
We’ll call, is, is he okay?

CJ (on phone)
The President’s condition in no way affects -

Back to CJ on the plane.

CJ (into phone)
- his ability to conduct -

JOSH (on phone)
We got it.

Cut back to JOSH.

JOSH
This is me asking.

Cut back to CJ.

CJ (into phone)
I don’t know. His arms are working, which is good, they weren’t an hour ago, so maybe he’s up doing the polka five minutes from now. Otherwise … I don’t know, I gotta -

Back to JOSH.

JOSH
Go. (nodding to ANNABETH) Your office, five minutes.

ANNABETH makes a quick note and exits. DONNA connects a call on the phone.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman for the Secretary, please. Right away.

DONNA hands the phone to JOSH. As he talks he starts writing something on a notepad.

JOSH (into phone)
Mr. Secretary … uh, happy holidays to you, too, sir. I’m going to need you to take me off the speakerphone for a second if that’s okay …

JOSH spins the notepad around and shows it to DONNA. It reads, “GET LEO”. DONNA turns and hurries out of the office.

JOSH (into phone)
The President’s had an MS episode on the plane. He’s not able to walk.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - ANNABETH’S OFFICE – DAY

ANNABETH and JOSH are talking over the upcoming press briefing. ANNABETH is extremely nervous.

ANNABETH
I can’t do this.

JOSH
You’re just reading the statement and introducing the guys from the medical office. 

ANNABETH
They don’t know anything.

JOSH
Nobody’s heard from Dr. Strangelove?

ANNABETH
Strenlow. I think he’s busy up there.

JOSH
They’ve only got one doctor on the plane?

ANNABETH
The Surgeon General’s there, too – she’s also busy.

As ANNABETH and JOSH go out into the bullpen, WILL enters.

WILL
You didn’t brief, right?

ANNABETH
Fifteen minutes.

WILL
The VP’s on his way, he’d like to make the statement.

JOSH
She’s got it.

ANNABETH
No, not really.

WILL
People find it reassuring to hear -

JOSH
The President can’t walk. Resist the temptation to treat this like an opportunity.

WILL
It’s not a campaign stop, he’s the highest-ranking man in the building, which means, one, getting his face out there is the responsible thing to do, and two, he doesn’t need anybody’s permission to do it.

VICE PRESIDENT RUSSELL enters as they all head back into ANNABETH’s office.

RUSSELL
Good morning.

WILL
Sir.

JOSH
Mr. Vice President.

ANNABETH
Oh, good morning, sir.

RUSSELL
What a blow. I was playing tennis when I heard, I couldn’t believe my ears.

JOSH
We were just discussing your statement.

RUSSELL
I’ll just get the ball rolling and then you and the physicians can jump in.

JOSH
Sure.

RUSSELL and WILL exit as JOSH and ANNABETH look on.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE – NIGHT

CJ, KATE, and TOBY are working feverishly at the desk updating the summit plan. BARTLET, in a wheelchair behind them, is being tended to by MILLIE.

CJ
We’ve canceled the military greeting on the tarmac, the welcome ceremony tomorrow morning, the First Lady’s flight from New Delhi lands before ours does, so we’ll see her just as soon as we touch down.

BARTLET
She’s gonna be cranky. (to MILLIE) I think she should ride with you.

TOBY
The Chinese have agreed to clear their press out of the airport.

BARTLET
Not much for freedom of the press anyhow.

TOBY
We ought to think about doing the same.

CJ
They’ve already seen him.

TOBY
Yeah, but the no-photo rule on the plane does not apply to the tarmac. We let them stay, there’s a shot of the hydraulic wheelchair lift lowering the President to the ground on the cover of every publication on the planet.

CJ
The press clears the airport before the President disembarks, pool spray first thing in the morning.

MILLIE brings a paper to CJ.

CJ
We’ll see how it goes, but - we should think about skipping the banquet.

KATE
Oh, I don’t know about that.

BARTLET
She likes the food.

KATE
It’s important they have the opportunity to impress us, the banquet in particular.

TOBY
She does like the food.

CJ
Can we send the First Lady?

BARTLET
I can sit through a meal, I’ve been doing that in a chair for years.

MILLIE
You have to pace yourself. Fatigue is a real issue.

TOBY
Maybe we let go of the Tibet conversation, cut straight to -

BARTLET
No.

TOBY
They’re not gonna budge on Tibet anyway -

BARTLET
We talk about Tibet so that they can be implacable. We talk about Taiwan so that they can hold the line against the capitalist, imperialist foe. We do it all, so that when we get to North Korea – and they agree to do our dirty work – they won’t have lost face at every other step along the way. Cancel the banquet, cancel whatever the hell you like … but we do not skip one step, not one moment, of my negotiation with President Lian.

CJ
All right, let’s see if we can’t push North Korea up on the calendar. Maybe Thursday morning instead of Friday?

TOBY
I’ll talk to protocol.

PILOT (on speaker)
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve begun our initial descent.

BARTLET
Indeed.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

LEO has just arrived and is walking in with MARGARET.

MARGARET
You can use CJ’s office.

LEO
I don’t need an office.

MARGARET
The doctors say the paralysis is temporary, but I think they’re lying.

LEO
They can’t lie about the President’s condition, that would be a crime, and one we’ve committed before, to boot.

JOSH comes up to meet LEO and take him to the press briefing room.

JOSH
A sight for sore eyes …

LEO
We could have put together a lunch, you needed to see me so bad.

JOSH
She’s about to brief, or the, Vice President is -

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY

RUSSELL is at the podium speaking to a noisy group of reporters.

RUSSELL
Hang on, hang on … I know, I know this is a shock to everyone. Um, I was playing tennis when I heard, uh … I couldn’t believe my ears. But I spoke to the President myself, and he was perfectly clear – this summit will proceed as planned. He is physically encumbered, but as far as we can tell right now -

We see DONNA, JOSH, and LEO watching from the office in the back of the briefing room.

JOSH
As far as we can tell?

RUSSELL
- in no way affects his mental acuity.

The reporters shout questions.

REPORTER
Has there been a cognitive evaluation?

RUSSELL
Well, we’re going to have a, uh, a detailed statement from the President’s physicians in a moment. I’m, I’m not a doctor, I’m not going to talk to you about those particulars. What I can tell you, is that I plan to meet with some of the members of the Cabinet later today to see if there’s any way that we can provide the President support as he continues to do the work of this country.

LEO
Lord almighty.

JOSH (turning to leave)
Pull Will out of there.

We hear RUSSELL continue in the background as LEO picks up a phone.

RUSSELL (VO)
The President will have a successful dialogue with President Lian in China. And once he’s back in Washington, we’ll see what adjustments need to be -

LEO (into phone)
Margaret … I’m going to need five minutes on the phone with every member of the Cabinet.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

JOSH bursts through the doors as DONNA brings WILL out another doorway.

JOSH
A Cabinet meeting?

WILL
An informal conversation with senior members of the administration.

JOSH
The President doesn’t need the Cabinet swooping in on their shining steeds.

WILL
Do you want to step into your office or something?

JOSH
The President is still running the show, on two continents, Russell can stop with the less-than-subtle insinuations to the contrary. There will be no Cabinet meeting.

WILL
It’s been announced, you don’t think it’ll be more awkward if it doesn’t happen?

JOSH
Watch yourself – you and your candidate.

WILL
You done?

JOSH
No. Free advice for the campaign trail: stop with the ceaseless mentions of his tennis game. It doesn’t make him look young and vigorous, it makes him look like a dilettante who can’t settle down with a thick book.

JOSH turns to walk away, with DONNA next to him.

DONNA
Wheels down in Beijing in a minute or so.

JOSH
A Cabinet meeting …

DONNA
You really think all the talk about tennis makes him look flaky?

JOSH
No, I think it makes him look young and vigorous.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CABIN – NIGHT

BEIJING CAPITAL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

KATE and TOBY are coordinating with Chinese representatives. KATE is having a conversation with them in Mandarin. ABBEY comes onto the airplane.

ABBEY
Where is he?

TOBY
Sorry, in the back, ma’am.

ABBEY passes between TOBY and KATE and continues to the back. KATE speaks with the Chinese representatives, then translates for TOBY.

KATE
There’s a problem with the compressor starter on the hydraulic lift, could be another half hour.

TOBY
Well, we’ve been sitting here forever, do they have a, a, a, a jetway, or something?

KATE speaks Mandarin to the Chinese representatives. They answer and depart.

KATE
Don’t hold your breath.

TOBY (as he and KATE start to follow ABBEY in the plane)
Pretty snazzy with the language, there.

KATE
Oh, not really. Second grade vocabulary.

TOBY
‘Compressor starter’ and ‘hydraulic lift’ is second grade?

KATE
It is in China.

KATE and TOBY enter the conference room, where ABBEY is talking to MILLIE. BARTLET, CJ, and CURTIS are also there. BARTLET, in a wheelchair, is uneasy and fidgety.

ABBEY (to MILLIE)
Did you run the SSEP?

MILLIE
Yes, it shows severe conduction delay, we’re at 85 percent loss of nerve function in the lower limbs.

ABBEY
Spinal cord lesion?

MILLIE
That’s our best guess.

CJ gestures to TOBY.

TOBY
Still working on it.

ABBEY
How long have they kept you people sitting here?

CJ
They’ve never used their elevator system before.

BARTLET
A forklift will do.

MILLIE
You could lie down, we’re not going anywhere.

BARTLET
I don’t want to lie down, I want to get off this damn plane.

ABBEY
Where’s Dr. Strenlow?

CJ
He’s on the phone to the lab.

MILLIE
I called the hospital here already and we’ll do an MRI as soon as we get settled.

As the conversation continues, BARTLET looks at CURTIS, then gestures him over with a nod.

ABBEY
An MRI’s not gonna tell us anything we don’t know already.

MILLIE
Maybe, maybe not.

BARTLET (to CURTIS, whispering)
Tell me your name one more time.

CURTIS (whispering)
Curtis, sir.

BARTLET (whispering)
Okay. How much can you bench press, Curtis?

CURTIS (whispering)
Quite a bit, sir.

BARTLET (whispering)
How about we stage a prison break?

CURTIS (whispering)
Absolutely.

CURTIS moves to lift BARTLET out of his wheelchair, as BARTLET wraps his arms around CURTIS’ neck.

BARTLET
Lift with your legs, son, not your back.

CURTIS carries BARTLET out of the back door of the conference room.

MILLIE
… side effects. Could be vomiting, some people get seizures – I don’t think you wanna run that -

ABBEY and the others notice CURTIS and BARTLET leaving the room.

TOBY
Mr. President -

ABBEY
Jed?

CJ
Sir?

ABBEY
Jed? What are you doing?

The group follows CURTIS into the corridor as he continues to carry BARTLET.

BARTLET
You okay?

CURTIS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Take your time. No need to rush.

CURTIS
Am I going too fast?

BARTLET
No, no, I’m just saying, you drop me, that’s a moment that follows you the rest of your life.

CURTIS
Yes, sir.

CURTIS has reached the doorway and carries BARTLET down the air stairs, straining with effort. The others stand in the doorway and watch.

BARTLET
You keep this up, your arms are gonna fall off. I hope somebody brings the damn chair.

CURTIS (grunting on the stairsteps)
I hope so, too, sir.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH, LEO, and CHARLIE are at JOSH’s desk. CJ and TOBY are on the speakerphone from China. The TV in the office is showing news coverage of BARTLET’s attack, with a headline reading ‘President’s MS Strikes Again.’

CJ (on phone)
You sure you’re okay?

LEO
I’m fine.

CJ (on phone)
I don’t want to work you into another bypass or anything.

LEO
I’m happy to help. We gonna get a photo?

CJ (on phone)
Soon.

JOSH
Good, ‘cause we got talking heads claiming he’s in a coma and we flew him to China so they could do a wax mockup like they did of Chairman Mao.

TOBY (on phone)
How are the markets looking?

JOSH
Uh, we took a hit, Dow’s down 470.

CJ (on phone)
Ouch.

LEO
We should probably get the Treasury Secretary on camera with an ‘I’m okay, you’re okay.’

We cut to a hotel meeting room in Beijing with CJ and TOBY, also on speakerphone.

CJ
And you’ve gotta dig up something to announce to the press.

TOBY
Something with the President at work. 

CJ 
Anything that makes him look active -

Cut back to JOSH’s office.

CJ (on phone)
- and not, you know …

JOSH
Paralyzed?

A quick cut back to Beijing as TOBY ends the call.

TOBY
Feliz Navidad.

TOBY hangs up and we cut back to JOSH’s office.

JOSH (to CHARLIE)
Talk to the agencies and the policy shops – we need to drum up some activity.

CHARLIE
It was trash week.

JOSH
Not anymore. We need, uh, executive orders, and the President just called the Speaker of the House from Beijing to talk about big, hairy weapons systems.

CHARLIE
All right.

CHARLIE stands up and leaves.

JOSH (to LEO)
Think you could check in at the Pentagon, maybe keep an eye on this Cabinet meeting?

LEO
No problem.

LEO stands.

JOSH
You see Vinick announcing his run for the Presidency?

LEO
Just the sound bites.

JOSH
I’ll have Donna get you a tape, you can join me in my despair.

LEO
I’ll take a look.

There is a knock at the doorway, and MARGARET appears.

MARGARET
There’s someone here from NASA, he needs to speak to whoever’s in charge and at this point I have no idea who that is.

LEO
Maybe keep the philosophical questions to yourself.

JOSH jumps up and grabs his jacket.

JOSH
I got it. (to LEO) You missed us, didn’t you?

LEO
Like a hangnail.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH enters the office, finding WALTER SPROUT from NASA standing there nervously.

JOSH
Thanks for waiting. Josh Lyman.

SPROUT (shaking JOSH’s hand)
Uh, Walter Sprout. The administrator isn’t here.

JOSH
Uh, apparently not.

SPROUT
We should wait.

JOSH
Who’s the administrator?

SPROUT
Edward Austin Kelwick.

JOSH
And he administers what?

SPROUT
NASA. NASA Administrator.

JOSH
You’re from NASA.

SPROUT
Program Manager for Near-Earth Object Observation. Walter Sprout. Yeah, uh, I’m sure he’s coming.

JOSH
Well, I’m going in four minutes, so we should plug on.

SPROUT
Could, could I get some water? (clears throat) Water?

JOSH
Sure.

JOSH goes to get a bottle of water.

SPROUT
I’m sorry, I just, I, I, I’ve been, uh … sweating quite a lot, and I, I think that it’s, it’s gotten me dehydrated, and, uh – (clears throat)

JOSH (handing him the water as SPROUT sits)
Okay, you need to, uh, take it easy -

SPROUT
Yeah, there’s an object. Coming toward the earth. 

JOSH
From the sky?

SPROUT
An asteroid. AS00267.

JOSH
There are a lot of asteroids in the sky, from my limited understanding.

SPROUT
Thousands.

JOSH
Well, I’m thinking you should write up a memo, uh, drop it off -

SPROUT
The LINEAR observatory in New Mexico recorded a series of images yesterday that were analyzed overnight by the Minor Planet Center in Cambridge, and their data were posted on the NEO Confirmation Page to be verified by astronomers across the globe – myself included. Now, our calculations could be wrong, but, uh … if they’re not, they indicate that an object following that trajectory would strike the Earth in approximately 48 hours.

JOSH looks at SPROUT. SPROUT checks his watch.

SPROUT
Forty-six.

JOSH
And this asteroid is -?

SPROUT
Big.

JOSH
How - ?

SPROUT
Big.

JOSH stands and picks up the phone.

JOSH (into phone)
Margaret, I need the NASA Administrator and Leo.

JOSH hangs up.

SPROUT
I loved a man once. I never told him.

(beat)

JOSH
Okay.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

GREAT HALL OF THE PEOPLE, BEIJING, CHINA

CJ and KATE are briefing BARTLET about the upcoming meeting, as CURTIS gets BARTLET situated in his chair and takes the wheelchair away. Some other members of the United States delegation are also in the room.

CJ
Vice Premier Liu and Chairman Zhing from the Central Military Commission will be in the third and fourth seats. Premier Jiang will be right here next to President Lian.

KATE
Don’t forget to thank him for allowing us to enjoy his magnificent space.

BARTLET
You want to remind me again?

KATE
It’s a big deal, he’s supposed to be sitting first, we’re supposed to approach them.

BARTLET
On our knees.

KATE
Well, yes, since you mention it.

BARTLET
The memory’s not gone. It’s next, maybe, but not yet.

KATE
‘Allowing us to enjoy his magnificent space -’

BARTLET (to CJ)
I’m gonna hit her.

CJ 
If you need to take a break, at any time -

BARTLET
I’m fine.

CJ
- just, I don’t know, tug on your earlobe or something, we’ll make something up.

BARTLET
I desperately hope you’re not serious.

CJ
It’s a three-hour meeting – I’m gonna want to take a break.

BARTLET
Then you should tug on your earlobe, and this one (gesturing to KATE) will make something up.

KATE
It’s just better if we avoid saying that you’re exhausted and need some rest.

BARTLET
You should move away from me as quickly as possible.

KATE
Yes, sir.

KATE walks away.

CJ
You ready?

BARTLET
Go ahead.

CJ gestures to the door, and the Chinese delegation, led by PRESIDENT LIAN, enters. The rest of the American delegation enters from a different door. LIAN welcomes BARTLET with a handshake and they exchange a greeting. LIAN begins speaking in Chinese, and we hear his translator speak in English.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
It is a great honor for myself, and for the People’s Republic of China, to welcome the President of the United States.

BARTLET (being translated into Chinese by his interpreter)
Thank you. On behalf of the American people I say it is an honor to be here. I would like to personally thank you for allowing us to enjoy your magnificent space.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

LEO and JOSH are walking, along with SPROUT and ADMINISTRATOR KELWICK.

LEO
I thought we had technology that detects large hunks of rock hurtling toward our planet.

KELWICK
The Spaceguard system.

LEO
Expensive, if memory serves.

KELWICK
Well, Spaceguard only detects objects over one kilometer in diameter – anything large enough to take out human life as we know it. Now, this is considerably smaller.

SPROUT
It’s 400 meters.

KELWICK
That’s considerably smaller.

SPROUT
Twice the size of the Astrodome. Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘duck and cover.’

KELWICK
A collision is improbable, but since we can’t rule it out, we felt we should alert you.

LEO
Where would it hit?

SPROUT
Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere.

JOSH
You can’t get any more specific?

SPROUT
No.

LEO
What kind of damage are we talking about?

SPROUT
You’re gonna wish you lived in Antarctica.

KELWICK
We’re waiting for another look at it, it orbits close to the sun, so it’s in our daylight 80 percent of the time. Now, Japan’s tracking it, and we may get a glimpse at the observatory in Maui next couple of hours, but they’ve had cloud cover.

The four have reached the Situation Room and they all enter.

JOSH
So we may be hit with a hunk of intergalactic rock, we don’t know when or where, and there’s no more information coming because in Maui it’s cloudy?

SPROUT
Welcome to my world.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

LIAN is talking, as we hear his interpreter translate into English. BARTLET sits listening, fidgeting a bit with papers and his glasses. He then sips from his water glass, squirming in his seat.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
… as long as both China and the United States keep eye on the larger picture … and maintain a long-term perspective, and abide by the principles in the three Sino-US joint communiques, our relationship will continue to grow and thrive …

TOBY is watching BARTLET.

TOBY (to KATE)
Does he look out of it to you?

KATE (focusing on paperwork)
What?

TOBY
The President?

KATE
Ours?

TOBY
He’s squirming.

KATE
Well, he’s probably bored. Lian refuses to move past affirming his commitment to a fruitful partnership between our two countries.

TOBY
He’s not listening. (looking around) Where’s CJ?

TOBY gets up and walks to CJ, just coming into the room.

TOBY
I think he’s having trouble.

CJ
He looks fine.

TOBY
He’s been flapping around a lot with the arms.

CJ
Is he talking?

TOBY
Yeah. But Lian’s been on a roll for a while. That -

We see BARTLET stretching out his right arm and twisting it.

TOBY
There, with the arm, do you see that?

CJ
That’s, um …

BARTLET reaches his right hand up behind his head, and begins tugging at his earlobe.

CJ
Oh, my God. He’s tugging on his earlobe. (to KATE) We gotta get him out of there.

KATE
What do, what do you -

CJ
We gotta get him out. We’re gonna pull the plug. What can I say?

KATE
Nothing that indicates -

TOBY
Just go.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
… between our two countries, is the key to ensuring a steady development of -

KATE
This is not good.

TOBY
Shhh-shhh, shhh.

CJ walks up to BARTLET as the TRANSLATOR continues. 

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
- explain to President Bartlet the Chinese government -

CJ
Pardon me. (beat) Please forgive me, President Lian …

BARTLET’S TRANSLATOR interprets CJ’s words into Chinese.

CJ
President Bartlet has an urgent call from Washington … we’ll need to take a break for just a few moments.

LIAN appears to agree.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Of course. No trouble at all.

LIAN gestures and stands.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Clear the hall.

The delegations stand and begin exiting the room.

CJ
You okay?

BARTLET
Yeah, I just gotta take a minute.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ, TOBY, BARROW, and KATE are accompanying BARTLET in the hallway as CURTIS pushes him in the wheelchair.

BARTLET
The plan was flawed. 

CJ
It was.

BARTLET
Ideally the recipient of the secret sign stays in the room.

CJ
Yes.

BARTLET
I almost pulled my ear off.

CJ
I had to step out for a call from Leo.

BARTLET
I thought he didn’t work for us anymore.

CJ
These things change. We should get back to him if you’re up to it.

BARTLET
Bound to be better news than what’s happening here.

CJ
Oh … you’d be amazed.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

JOSH and CHARLIE come through a doorway as they head towards JOSH’s office.

CHARLIE
So, is this thing gonna kill us like it killed the dinosaurs?

JOSH
It’s not gonna hit us.

CHARLIE
But if it does?

JOSH
Then, likelihood is, it hits an ocean, starts a tsunami, and, you know, surf’s up. In Illinois.

CHARLIE (handing a paper to JOSH)
Announcable achievements: preliminary diplomatic relations established with Myanmar.

JOSH
That’s a violent military dictatorship.

CHARLIE
Yes, but we establish relations, maybe we talk them out of it. Forward motion on the ERISA reform.

JOSH
We were supposed to pass it two months ago.

CHARLIE
We didn’t – but we’re moving in that direction.

JOSH
We got a press room worried that the President’s no longer fit to keep his job, and you’re giving me forward motion?

CHARLIE
There’s always the asteroid coming to destroy the planet – we could announce that.

As CHARLIE heads off, DONNA comes out of the bullpen into JOSH’s office.

DONNA
Can we do this now?

JOSH
What?

DONNA
The conversation that was supposed to happen over lunch, but that ship sailed, so let’s just have it now.

JOSH
Can’t. World ending.

DONNA
I thought it wasn’t hitting.

JOSH
Might.

DONNA
I thought there’s nothing you can do.

JOSH
There isn’t. Doesn’t mean the situation’s not to be monitored closely. Tomorrow. Lunch. Definitely.

JOSH heads off, leaving DONNA standing in his office.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

CURTIS is placing BARTLET on top of his bed. MILLIE is checking over a clipboard.

BARTLET
I just needed a break. I thought I was gonna fall out of that damn chair.

MILLIE
That’s the fatigue.

BARTLET
I feel like I got a noose around my waist.

ABBEY comes into the room as CURTIS prepares to leave.

CURTIS
Anything I can get you, sir?

BARTLET
Naw, go ahead, thanks.

ABBEY
Doctor’s on his way up.

BARTLET
I don’t want the doctor.

ABBEY
I don’t care, frankly.

BARTLET
I just need to close my eyes for 15 minutes.

MILLIE
He has to take a look -

BARTLET
He’s just gonna tell me to lie down, mission accomplished, it’s the jet lag.

ABBEY
Ha! Jet lag …

BARTLET
I have two doctors here now, clearly you don’t know what to do with yourselves.

ABBEY
It’s not the jet lag. Strenlow told you, Millie told you, and I told you that the fatigue could be overwhelming and you should take it easy. You elected not to do that.

BARTLET
Leo tells me there’s an asteroid coming to hit the Earth. Maybe we should sit quietly for a few moments and ponder that.

ABBEY is not amused.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – NIGHT

JOSH is studying some papers near DONNA’s desk as LEO walks up.

LEO
Anything?

JOSH
Uhhh … NASA’s got a clear shot in Maui. Should tell us more.

LEO (quietly)
The President’s having trouble getting through meetings. They had to pull him out.

JOSH (quietly)
He sat on a plane for 20 hours, he’ll bounce.

LEO (handing a VHS tape to JOSH)
I just looked at the tape.

JOSH
Vinick’s announcement? (leading LEO into his office) Makes you wanna cry like a little girl, doesn’t it?

LEO
It’s a tough primary for him, I wouldn’t tear my shirt yet.

JOSH
Russell offered me campaign manager.

LEO
Really?

JOSH
Turned him down. Hoynes asked, too.

LEO
Popular. You change your cologne or something?

JOSH
You think Hoynes could win?

LEO
With Baker out, Russell’s got a huge financial advantage. Sitting VP, he’s gonna raise a lot more money. And he’s in a position to offer a lot more favors.

JOSH
Hoynes is a guy without a job.

LEO
That said, Hoynes has much more experience in the job Russell holds, he was elected Senator of a huge and complicated and usually Republican state, and Russell got elected Representative of a district the size of my thumb.

JOSH
Hoynes is smarter than Russell. He’ll kick his ass in the debates.

LEO
And he’s got more foreign policy experience. It could happen.

JOSH shakes his head ruefully.

LEO
But you gotta want to work for him, and you gotta want him to win. You want that?

JOSH
I want to get Jed Bartlet a third term.

LEO sighs.

LEO
Yeah.

JOSH
What happened to the good old days when … a couple of hacks with cigars chose the nominee in a smoke-filled back room?

LEO
They didn’t do so bad, did they? Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower -

JOSH
We need a back room.

LEO
Well, we’ve just about outlawed smoking, and at this point I’m not allowed to even look at a cigar. But we’re it. You and me. This is the back room.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

WEI SHUI PALACE HOTEL

CJ, KATE, and TOBY are working on items in the sitting area as MILLIE enters the room.

CJ
Anything?

MILLIE
He’s still asleep.

CJ
We asked for a 15-minute break, he’s been asleep for four hours.

MILLIE
I’m aware of that.

CJ
Okay, we split up tomorrow into shorter sessions so he can take more breaks.

TOBY
Maybe he’s only in the first hour of each one?

MILLIE
I’m not sure he’ll make it through an hour in a chair; lying down is not as physically taxing.

KATE
Well, he can’t nap through the whole summit.

MILLIE
I’m not saying he sleeps 20 hours a day, but … he’ll be much more productive if he’s not using all his energy to hold his body upright. He is the brains in the operation, right?

CJ
So staff sits in on the meetings, he’s the man behind the curtain.

TOBY
They’re gonna drag their heels if he’s not in the room! We’re gonna be talking about shrimp exports for the next three days!

KATE
We make it clear we’re running all decisions back to him.

CJ
He’s gotta show his face sometime or the Chinese, the entire world’s, gonna go ballistic, they’ll think he’s worse and we’re hiding him. 

TOBY
They’ll be right.

MILLIE
He could do a 15-minute hello.

CJ
A photo op?

MILLIE
Mm-hmm.

TOBY
Oh, he’s gonna love that.

As the group considers their options, ABBEY steps into the room.

ABBEY
He’s up.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – DAY

BARTLET is sitting up in his bed, CJ in a chair beside him.

BARTLET
Why not the first, even half-hour of each meeting?

CJ
One meeting in the morning, certainly.

BARTLET
One?

CJ
We’re the ones with the hard agenda, any excuse we give them to run out the clock -

BARTLET
The meetings can continue after I leave.

CJ
You leave each meeting after 30 minutes, Lian will take a break when you go to make sure we know he doesn’t like negotiating with subordinates, we lose half the day.

BARTLET
Are you benching me?

CJ
Eight weeks ago you told me the only way North Korea honors a non-proliferation agreement is if China agrees to be the enforcer – conducting inspections, imposing sanctions, if need be. You told me the single most tangible threat to the next three generations of Americans is a nuclear North Korea. And then you told me this was our shot.

BARTLET
Never quote me to me.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

LEO and MARGARET are cutting through the Roosevelt Room as they walk, on their way to MARGARET’s desk.

LEO
Call Kelwick at NASA, see if they got a read overnight.

MARGARET
How many spots are there? In the bunker?

LEO
What bunker?

MARGARET
The President’s. I mean, there’s space for a bunch of people, right? 

LEO
You throwing a party?

MARGARET
If the asteroid hits and the President, the First Lady, and 80 percent of senior staff are in China, (quietly) don’t you think we ought to sort out who takes their spots?

LEO
When did you get placed on the National Security Council, did I miss that?

MARGARET
I mean, clearly, you should go. That’s one -

LEO
In the name of all that is holy …

LEO turns to leave, back out into the hallway.

MARGARET
You might want me there to help out – is all I’m, all I’m saying.

LEO encounters JOSH in the hallway, dodging some workers putting up holiday decorations.

JOSH
Season’s greetings.

LEO
Margaret’s booking hotel rooms for the apocalypse.

JOSH
I gotta get a flashlight.

LEO
You pick your dream candidate yet?

JOSH
I don’t know how all this works.

LEO
You pick the smartest, most capable, most honorable individual you can think of, and you have a conversation.

LEO and JOSH have reached the OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE.

LEO
Ideally, before the New Hampshire filing deadline.

JOSH
I can’t pick up and leave the White House to go run a campaign for some dark horse I pulled out of a cornfield.

LEO
I did. (beat) Come on, who’s on the wish list?

JOSH
I don’t know, uh, there’s this one guy … (scoffs) Naw, it’s, uh, it’s a stupid idea.

LEO
There are no stupid ideas. Well, there are – I don’t know why people say that … but give it a whirl.

JOSH
The President can’t move his legs. NASA’s wondering if the next ice age starts on Tuesday. I gotta stay here, finish what I started.

LEO
It doesn’t finish, Josh. (walking away) It keeps going.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

DAY TWO

The summit is continuing. LIAN is speaking, and we hear his words through the translator. 

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Our currency policy is designed to ensure domestic stability as we make the challenging transition towards a capitalist economic model.

We discover it is BARROW, not BARTLET, talking with LIAN.

BARROW
Certainly. But it’s driving our manufacturers out of the market.

BARROW’s words are translated into Chinese, then LIAN speaks again.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
I will consult with the Finance Minister. We can talk more about this in the afternoon.

TOBY
No. (beat) I’m sorry. We need to move on this afternoon. We need to discuss other items on the agenda this afternoon.

TOBY’s words are translated, and LIAN speaks again.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
The Finance Minister has discussed this with the International Monetary Fund in Washington. I cannot make a decision before I speak with the Finance Minister.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CHARLIE and ANNABETH are walking briskly down the corridor.

CHARLIE
You briefing now?

ANNABETH
I don’t brief. I read prepared statements to the press.

CHARLIE (gesturing behind them)
Well, if that’s what you’re up to, the Press Room’s -

ANNABETH
Doing laps. Not ready to go in yet.

CHARLIE (handing her a folder)
The President just signed this executive order on the protection of federal infrastructure investments.

ANNABETH (looking at the folder as she continues to walk)
(gasp) He signed it in China?

CHARLIE
While juggling a rickshaw and a pagoda.

ANNABETH
Great, great! This is good.

She ducks under an opened file cabinet and continues hustling along.

CHARLIE
You okay?

ANNABETH
Well, the press just got wind of the asteroid story. It was bad enough with just the paralyzed President, now they’re a little overheated.

CHARLIE
You’re briefing on the asteroid?

ANNABETH
I don’t brief, but if I did, NASA wouldn’t want us commenting.

CHARLIE
So what are you gonna do?

ANNABETH
I’m gonna go in there, and I’m going to read them the President’s executive order on the protection of federal infrastructure investments. Hopefully, they’ve calmed down.

CHARLIE (pointing at the door as they keep moving)
Okay, you missed it again.

ANNABETH
Uh, I’m just, I’m gonna take another lap.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – DAY

BARTLET, still sitting in the bed, is showing a world map to CURTIS.

BARTLET
Four hundred meters in diameter, so if it hits here in the Pacific, (pointing) we’ve got a tsunami. Takes out 70, maybe 80 percent of California and the Pacific Northwest.

CJ and TOBY appear at the doorway and knock.

BARTLET
Yeah, come on in. (to CURTIS) Hitting dry land, obliterating a city, is, frankly, the optimal scenario – at least the damage is contained.

CJ and TOBY come up next to BARTLET’s bed.

TOBY
This is cheery.

BARTLET
Yeah, they got a good look at it from Near Earth Asteroid Tracking in Maui. They’ve determined it’s either bigger than we were told and farther away, or smaller than we were told and closer.

CJ
Helpful.

BARTLET
How’s it going with Lian?

TOBY
He’s dragging his heels.

BARTLET
On exchange rates?

TOBY
Says they’re, they’re not ready to float the yuan, but he’ll talk it over with the Finance Minister.

BARTLET
Did you bring up Shang?

CJ
The former President?

BARTLET
Yes, he and I talked about this three years ago. He said it would take two years, tops, to make the transition.

TOBY
They’re gonna say it took longer.

BARTLET
You bring up Shang because he’s a more powerful figure than Lian, probably still is. Lian is threatened by the very notion of Shang. You get leverage just by using his name.

CJ
We’ll bring it up when we go back -

BARTLET
You can’t go back on exchange rates, you gotta move on, North Korea’s gonna get swept right off the table.

TOBY
There’s a lot of, uh, American jobs on the line, Mr. President -

BARTLET
Job loss is gonna seem like cake in the face of three-dimensional nuclear chess, you can’t let him walk all over you!

CJ and TOBY stare at BARTLET, as CURTIS watches closely. BARTLET returns to his map.

BARTLET
The real nightmare scenario is here, the Great Forest of the North. 

CURTIS
Russia?

BARTLET
Four point three million square miles of dense forest. 

CJ and TOBY turn to leave.

BARTLET
The asteroid hits here – a shower of burning rock rains down on those woods … starts a fire that burns, till it shrouds the hemisphere in a blanket of soot and ash that blocks out the sun for weeks. ‘Impact winter,’ they call it. 

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – NIGHT

LEO and RUSSELL greet each other.

LEO
Mr. Vice President – Merry Christmas, sir.

RUSSELL
Leo, good to see you. I heard you were visiting.

LEO
Helping out for a couple of days, actually. You on your way to the Cabinet Room?

RUSSELL
Yeah, just getting a couple of folks together, see if we can’t pitch in.

LEO
Mind if I join you?

RUSSELL (beat)
Sure. That’s be great.

CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – NIGHT
CAROL hurries up to join MARGARET and GINGER, who are making a list for something.

CAROL
Did you put in Kyle?

GINGER
Who’s Kyle?

CAROL
From NIH. With the blonde and the cowlick …

MARGARET
Kyle’s there, Dan Rosten’s there.

WILL walks up.

WILL
Hey – can I get your copy of the Approps guidelines?

The three women look at WILL as MARGARET hides her clipboard against her chest.

MARGARET (smiling)
Sure. (through her teeth, to CAROL and GINGER) Oh, my gosh, the VP.

WILL
What ya got?

CAROL
Nothing.

JOSH comes up from behind the women as MARGARET hands WILL the papers.

JOSH
Have you seen Leo?

MARGARET
He’ll be back in ten.

WILL takes the opportunity to pull the clipboard out of MARGARET’s hands.

WILL
The bunker? Let me see that.

MARGARET
Hey!

WILL (looking at the list)
You forgot the Vice President. Some guy named Dan’s in the bunker, but not the VP?

JOSH comes up to see the list in WILL’s hands.

MARGARET
I just put him in.

JOSH
What - ?

WILL
Spots in the President’s bunker in the event of total annihilation after impact.

MARGARET (as CAROL nods vigorously)
Somebody needs to repopulate.

JOSH
Who’s Dan?

CAROL
The UPS guy. Wears the shorts.

JOSH
You’re going for beefcake? That’s how you want to regenerate the American people?

WILL
Sure, he’ll kill you an elk for dinner.

JOSH
Assuming we have elk. You gonna, put an elk in the bunker?

WILL
Somebody’s got to be there to invent the telephone. A couple of thinkers, maybe.

JOSH and WILL turn and walk away.

JOSH
Think you could do that?

WILL
What?

JOSH
Re-invent the telephone?

WILL
No, I don’t think so, no.

JOSH
Me, neither.

As the two walk past DONNA she stops JOSH. WILL continues to walk away.

DONNA
I need you.

JOSH
See? Tell them to put me on the list.

DONNA
We’re having our conversation now.

JOSH
Don’t you think it would be irresponsible for me to leave this administration before the end of the second term?

They start to walk.

DONNA
It’s a conversation about me, not you.

JOSH
I gotta get over to the OEOB.

DONNA
You have to sit down and talk to me, that’s what you have to do -

JOSH
You’re very demanding today. You and Leo, who thinks I should be wandering the American byways in search of the next President.

DONNA
I quit.

JOSH
What?

The two come to a stop as JOSH turns to face DONNA.

JOSH
Come on. No, you don’t, walk with me.

DONNA
Look at my face, I’m not messing with you.

JOSH
Donna … 

DONNA
There’s going to be a temp here tomorrow.

JOSH
Oh, for … hang on, we were supposed to have lunch, I canceled, it was crappy of me.

DONNA
This is what we were going to talk about.

JOSH
I, uh, uh, tomorrow, we - ?

DONNA
We were going to talk about where my job was going, because though working for you is an honor and a privilege, I’m ready for more and it’s not happening here and I’ve started looking and -

JOSH
Slow down, slow down. Slow down. We’ll talk about it, absolutely, you’re right. Tomorrow. Lunch. You and me.

DONNA stares impassively at JOSH as he turns and walks away.

JOSH (to himself)
She quits. Oy.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – NIGHT

ABBEY is lying across the bed, with paperwork strewn on it. She is talking with BARTLET in another room.

ABBEY
Ted Barrow said they’ve made some progress in the Taiwan conversations today. Are you happy with where they landed?

There is no reply. ABBEY sits up.

ABBEY
I talked to Liz. She and Doug are gonna bring the kids for Christmas. They said they may even persuade Zoey to make an appearance.

BARTLET (from another room)
They had other plans. I’m not dying, there’s no need to rush to the bedside.

ABBEY stands and starts moving to the room where BARTLET is.

ABBEY
Did you talk to Lian about the AIDS clinics? Jed? Jed …

ABBEY sees BARTLET in the bathroom, standing up out of his wheelchair, leaning against the vanity as he prepares to brush his teeth.

ABBEY
What the hell are you doing?

BARTLET
Brushing, do you mind?

ABBEY (rushing into the bathroom)
Oh, you’re gonna crack your head.

BARTLET (brushing)
I’m fine.

ABBEY (trying to get the wheelchair back under BARTLET)
Please, you’re not stable, oh -

BARTLET
Leave it alone. Abbey, -

ABBEY
- this chair is not locked down -

BARTLET
Leave it -

ABBEY 
Oh -

BARTLET
For God’s sake -

BARTLET topples over and falls to the floor by the bathtub.

ABBEY
Jed! Michael! Michael!

ABBEY rushes to BARTLET’s side as MICHAEL, a Secret Service agent, runs into the bathroom.

ABBEY
Jed …

ABBEY and MICHAEL grab BARTLET under his arms and work to pull him upright. Amidst much groaning and straining, we hear utterances from all three.

MICHAEL
Up, sir …

BARTLET
I am fine. Get out, that’s an order.

ABBEY
Oh, Jed, please -

BARTLET
Go!

ABBEY (to MICHAEL, softly)
It’s okay, it’s okay …

MICHAEL leaves the room. BARTLET is sitting on the floor, his back against the bathtub. ABBEY kneels in front of him.

ABBEY
Okay … so – now, will you let me help -

As ABBEY reaches out to BARTLET’s collar he jerks away.

BARTLET
Don’t touch me!

ABBEY pulls herself into a sitting position facing BARTLET, breathing heavily.

BARTLET
What the hell am I doing here?

ABBEY
Apparently, you like the tile -

BARTLET
Abigail, I swear to God … wasted time!

There is a pause.

ABBEY
No, it’s not. Maybe you’re not gonna skin the whole cat … but you’re gonna make some headway. 

BARTLET
Is that so?

ABBEY
You’re gonna get your North Korea talks.

BARTLET
Are you out of your mind? Lian’s walking all over my staff. I’m in one meeting the whole day. All they did was feed me tea made with tien-ching ginseng and deer horn glue. You see, it’s the thing for the nerve damage. But that meant I had to piss every 12 minutes, which is more of an ordeal than it was when I was able to stand without assistance. The new kid, Curtis, and I are becoming very close.

ABBEY
Whatever it takes.

BARTLET
We didn’t have time to get to the AIDS clinics, Abbey, I was trying to make some headway on the exchange rates. Lian just sits there and smiles and goes on and on about the ginseng and my circulation. This is their dream come true; me stuck in that damn wheelchair -

ABBEY
You tell your staff to bring it up tomorrow -

BARTLET
I tried that, do you hear me, I tried that! Decisions are made in the room! I am not in the room! I can’t do the job, Abbey. Do you understand? I can’t do it! I cannot do the job! Look at me! (pounding on his legs in frustration) Look at me!

BARTLET, breathing heavily, slumps in resignation as ABBEY looks at him.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

DAY THREE

BARTLET, in his wheelchair, and CJ are going over the final schedule of the last day of the summit.

CJ
A few shots of you signing the agreement, maybe a handshake with Lian; it’s the White House photographer, not the pool, so we can shoot chest-up if you’d like to stay in this chair …

BARTLET
You can get a cardboard cut-out, they have those here, don’t they?

CJ
Mr. President – it’s not all we hoped for, but we’re laying groundwork for the future. Secretary of State’ll come back next month, take a stab at the North Korea talks.

BARTLET
Mm-hmm.

CJ
We’ll knock this off, as quick as we can, and we’re back on the plane.

BARTLET (looks off into the distance)
The asteroid has entered our daylight. No getting another look. Now we just wait for loud noises. (beat) Let’s go take some pictures.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

BARTLET and LIAN are signing agreements together at a ceremonial desk. The delegations of both countries are gathered behind them as photographers snap pictures.

BARTLET
I’m sorry we weren’t able to arrange a one-on-one meeting.

Remarks are translated back and forth, between Chinese and English, as LIAN responds.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
We had many fruitful conversations with your advisers.

BARTLET
Yes. Yes.

PHOTOGRAPHER
Now, just the two Presidents, please. If you could all step aside, thank you.

BARTLET and LIAN pass the documents between themselves as the members of the delegations walk away from the desk.

BARTLET
I wonder if it would be possible to say hello to former President Shang before we left the country.

LIAN takes notice of what BARTLET is saying as the translation continues.

BARTLET
I met with him on a number of occasions, as you know, and our talks were always exceptionally fruitful. It would be nice to sit together again. (leaning in towards LIAN) Just two old men.

LIAN reacts to these words. BARTLET leans in again.

BARTLET (whispering)
You speak pretty good English, don’t you.

We cut to the center of the room, where CJ is coordinating with a photographer after the signing ceremony has ended.

CJ
You got enough of the signing, right, it’s just the handshake you need?

PHOTOGRAPHER
Mm-hmm.

KATE comes up to CJ.

KATE
CJ, they’re going.

CJ
Who?

CJ and KATE, joined by TOBY, turn to see BARTLET, pushed by CURTIS, and LIAN heading into a side room.

CJ
What - ?

The door is pulled closed, with just the three men inside.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

The foyer is decorated for Christmas with a large lighted tree in the center of the room. JOSH and CHARLIE are walking past on the way to JOSH’s office.

CHARLIE
We got preliminary budgets from everyone but Transportation. They said you knew why.

JOSH
You ever work on a campaign?

CHARLIE
No.

JOSH
You gonna work on the next one?

CHARLIE
The Presidential? Maybe. I don’t know.

A MAN walks up and hands JOSH a note, then steps away.

MAN
Josh.

JOSH
Thanks.

CHARLIE
Assuming we get something from Transportation by the end of the day, CJ’s gonna want marked-up copies from you next Wednesday so she can look at them before she talks to OMB.

JOSH finishes reading the note and hands it to CHARLIE. JOSH strides towards his office, announcing the news to his bullpen. CHARLIE follows him.

JOSH (loudly)
Ladies and gentlemen … the asteroid has passed us. The world is not ending today.

The staffers in the bullpen laugh and applaud. 

CHARLIE (reading the note)
‘Asteroid AS00267, traveling at a speed of 22,356 miles per hour -’

JOSH looks over at DONNA’s desk. A temp worker, MARLA, is sitting at the chair.

CHARLIE (continuing to read)
‘ - missed the Earth’s atmosphere by 73,400 miles and is now receding toward the sun.’

There is more applause as JOSH continues to look glumly at MARLA.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

CJ and TOBY are pondering the situation as other members of the delegations talk amongst themselves.

CJ
How long can he sit up?

TOBY
Doctor said maybe 30 minutes.

CJ
What are we at now?

TOBY (checking his watch)
Seventy-two.

BARROW comes out of the side room and walks up to CJ and TOBY.

BARROW
He wanted to know the exact numbers on how much uranium the South Koreans enriched on that test.

TOBY
Because … ?

BARROW
I don’t know. He asked for the numbers and then he kicked me back out.

CURTIS leans through the doorway of the side room.

CURTIS
Ms. Cregg? The President would like the translators back in there.

CJ heads for the translators as TOBY’s phone rings.

CJ
Gentlemen? Would you go back in, please?

TOBY hands his phone to CJ.

TOBY
Leo.

CJ (into phone)
Leo – the President’s in a room with Lian, they won’t let anybody in there. They’re talking about God only knows what, and the Surgeon General predicted he’d flop over dead if he tried to keep at it this long.

We see LEO sitting at the desk in the OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE.

LEO (into phone)
I was gonna tell you the world’s not ending, but maybe it is.

Back to CJ in Beijing.

CJ (into phone)
The asteroid passed.

LEO (on phone)
It passed. We live to fight another day.

Back to LEO at the White House.

LEO (into phone)
Wasn’t wheels-up a half hour ago?

Back to CJ.

CJ (checking her watch; into phone)
That was the idea.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – DAY

JOSH walks up to MARLA at DONNA’s desk.

JOSH
Hi.

MARLA
Can I help you?

JOSH
Where’s Donna?

MARLA
Who’s Donna?

JOSH
You’re sitting in her chair.

MARLA
The blonde girl?

JOSH
Yeah.

MARLA 
I’m Marla Worisky. I’m covering this desk for a few days. You need something?

JOSH
I’m Josh Lyman, what are you … ? (pause) You’re a temp, she’ll, uh, she’ll be back in a few days, you said?

MARLA
She got a new job, I think. I’ve got her cell if you want to give her a call.

MARLA writes down a number on a sticky note, tears it off and holds it up for JOSH.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

CJ, ABBEY, and MILLIE are talking.

MILLIE
You have to pull him, this is not a good idea.

CJ
If he’s having trouble he’ll say something.

MILLIE
It’s been an hour and 40 minutes -

CJ
I know.

MILLIE
I mean, there’s a cost at this stage in his disease.

ABBEY
The President’s made his choice, Millie. He’ll come out when he wants to come out.

We hear a door open.

CJ
Here they come.

ABBEY
Finally.

CURTIS pushes BARTLET into the room in his wheelchair, LIAN and the translators follow. BARTLET hands some papers off to KATE.

BARTLET
You’ll have to check that very carefully, their translator’s spelling ain’t what he thinks it is.

ABBEY comes up to take BARTLET’s hand.

ABBEY
It’s about time.

BARTLET
He’s a talker.

As KATE looks through the pages, TOBY and CJ come up to see.

TOBY
What the hell is it?

KATE
It’s a seating arrangement. The North Korea talks.

CUT TO: INT. - OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE – NIGHT

LEO is looking through some papers. JOSH walks to his doorway.

JOSH
Donna quit.

LEO
Donna Moss?

JOSH
She’s gone.

LEO
You piss her off?

JOSH
I don’t know. She has a new job.

LEO
Good for her. See, I tried to tell you this. People move on.

JOSH seems to come to a realization as LEO walks out of the room.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – NIGHT

JOSH walks quickly up to MARLA at her desk.

JOSH 
Marla, I need you to make me a plane reservation as quickly as you can, I need to go to Houston.

MARLA
Texas?

JOSH
Yes.

MARLA
Hang on. Hang on, let me get a pen.

JOSH (shouting across the room)
Janet, put me on the next flight to Houston.

JANET (VO)
All right.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CABIN – DAY

ABBEY, CJ, TOBY, MILLIE, BARTLET (in his wheelchair) and CURTIS have just boarded the plane and are giddily walking down the corridor.

CJ
I could kiss you on your married mouth.

ABBEY 
Watch yourself.

CJ
Did you have to give in on satellite technology?

BARTLET
Yes, but on a five-year plan.

TOBY
Buys us time to get an agreement on non-military uses.

CJ
You’ve got potential, sir, you ought to think about running for office.

BARTLET (laughing)
Ha!

CJ (to TOBY)
I want Leo on the phone, have you seen my cell phone?

TOBY
I had it, I gave it to somebody.

CJ
I would like to be the one to tell Leo McGarry this son-of-a-gun lassoed us a North Korea summit.

BARTLET smiles and happily shakes hands as he rolls down the corridor, but then his face tightens and the smile disappears as he nears his room.

CJ
The man is a force of nature.

TOBY
I want a tape. Curtis, the only member of the administration to witness the negotiation for what may be the summit of the century -

CURTIS rolls BARTLET into his quarters, along with ABBEY and MILLIE, as CJ and TOBY happily talk in the corridor, then head to their seats.

TOBY
- did he not sneak on a tape recorder?

CJ
I don’t think he did.

TOBY
Wasted opportunity.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE PRESIDENTIAL QUARTERS – DAY

MILLIE
They’re planning a ticker-tape parade out there.

ABBEY walks up to face BARTLET. The look on her face changes from happiness to concern as she sees him up close.

ABBEY
Oh – you sweat right through your clothes. Better get you out of this chair, come on, Curtis - give me a hand, will you?

BARTLET
I need – I need a minute.

ABBEY
Millie?

MILLIE walks up, and she and ABBEY begin unbuttoning BARTLET’s shirt and loosening his tie. BARTLET is sweaty and straining.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CORRIDOR – DAY

CJ is on the phone, TOBY standing next to her.

CJ (into phone)
April. Two days of talks in Beijing with North Korea, South Korea -

TOBY
Japan!

CJ (into phone)
Japan, China’s agreed to get aggressive with North Korea if the inspections fall apart.

CJ chuckles as MILLIE walks briskly by down the corridor.

CJ (into phone)
We had none of this. We were bailing on the whole idea.

CJ’s demeanor changes as MILLIE and some others rush back into the Presidential quarters.

CJ (into phone)
Leo – let me call you back.

CJ hangs up and stands. She and TOBY look down the hallway into the President’s room as MILLIE and who we assume must be Dr. Strenlow enter. Another person is readying an IV stand. ABBEY walks to the doorway and closes it.

CUT TO: EXT. - OUTSIDE SANTOS’ HOUSE – NIGHT

HOUSTON, TEXAS

JOSH walks up a patio towards a house. We can hear Christmas music playing and the sound of children’s voices. JOSH looks through a window, seeing MATT SANTOS and a few kids decorating a Christmas tree.

MATT (inside the house, to a child)
… that’s your angel, you broke the wings off the angel.

The children laugh and giggle. JOSH walks up to the door and rings the bell. We see MATT heading for the door, with other adults, apparently family members, also there in the house.

MATT (inside the house, talking to the kids as he heads for the door)
Put that angel down. Put it down. Put that angel down right now, put it down.

MATT opens the door and is surprised to see JOSH there.

MATT
Wow. Hi.

JOSH
How ya doing?

MATT
You lost?

JOSH (beat)
Could be.

MATT (gesturing)
Come on in.

JOSH comes into the entryway.

JOSH
I’m sorry to bug you at home … but there wasn’t time to wait for you to get back to Washington.

MATT
I’m there next week.

JOSH
I’m on a bit of a deadline. It’s a filing deadline.

MATT
Oh, Josh, Josh, Josh …

WOMAN’S VOICE
Matt?

JOSH
It’s a little crazy, I know.

MATT
I’m not running for Congress again, Josh. Now, you came a long way, I’m sorry about that, but it’s just not -

JOSH
I’m not talking about Congress. 

There’s a pause as MATT starts to realize what JOSH means.

WOMAN’S VOICE
Matt, where’s the box with the tinsel, honey? Have you seen it anywhere?

MATT and JOSH stand, silently regarding each other, as a couple of children run up the stairway behind them.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.

The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x9 – Impact Winter
Original Airdate: December 15, 2004







 

THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: In The Room (S6E8)

THE WEST WING
6x8 - “IN THE ROOM”
WRITTEN BY LAWRENCE O’DONNELL JR.
DIRECTED BY ALEX GRAVES

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

IN THE ROOM

FADE IN: INT. - EAST ROOM – NIGHT

A crowd in the room is applauding, with balloons and party decorations in sight. TOBY and JOSH are having a discussion in the back of the room.

JOSH
He’s a Republican!

TOBY
Not a real Republican, he’s a California Republican.

JOSH
Are we really saying that there isn’t a single Democrat -

TOBY
President thinks Arnold Vinick’s perfect for UN Ambassador, it’s your job to feel him out, see if he’d be up for it.

As JOSH and TOBY turn their attention to the party, the view changes to show the magicians PENN and TELLER standing on a stage in front of the crowd. A giant poster on the wall reads “HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOEY!” The crowd stops applauding and sits.

PENN
Thank you. Aw, thanks, we can’t, we can’t tell you what an honor it’s been to be here, to actually work here in the White House. I want to thank our new best friend, Zoey Bartlet, the First Daughter -

We see ZOEY and CHARLIE sitting in the front row.

ZOEY
I’m not the First Daughter.

PENN
Well, I thought -

TELLER holds a pack of cards. The three of clubs magically rises out of the pack.

PENN
Oh, yeah, okay, Zoey Bartlet, the third daughter of the First Family.

ZOEY
Come on, guys, one more trick.

PENN
You are just spoiled rotten, aren’t you, Zoey?

The crowd laughs.

ZOEY
Just one?

PENN
Please?

ZOEY
Please.

PENN
Well, you certainly deserve another trick. Teller?

TELLER motions to ZOEY to bring her up to the front of the stage. He rolls up a large piece of paper into a cone and hands it to her to hold. He pulls out a large red handkerchief, rolls it up, and stuffs it into the cone.

PENN
A simple red handkerchief.

TELLER shows his hands are empty, then pulls a magic wand out of his jacket. The crowd chuckles. He taps the wand on the cone, makes a magic-type gestures that brings another laugh. He puts the wand back in his jacket, takes the cone from ZOEY and opens it, revealing a shower of red glitter but no handkerchief. ZOEY and the crowd break into applause. PENN, who had walked off the stage, returns wearing white gloves.

PENN
I love that trick. So simple. There is nothing like a vanish. So pure. But what does it mean? I know what you’re thinking; a, a magic trick, a simple vanish, can have no meaning whatsoever. But what if, instead of using that handkerchief, a meaningless piece of cloth, we were to use a piece of cloth that was nothing but meaning?

PENN picks up the flagstaff on the stage holding an American flag. TELLER, now also wearing white gloves, removes it from the staff.

PENN
What if the piece of cloth we chose was the flag of the United States of America? ‘Cause, you know, with this flag on stage, there’s a lot to think about.

PENN and TELLER respectfully fold the flag. As they do, PENN continues.

PENN
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam; in full glory reflected it shines in the stream; does the star-spangled banner, o long may it wave, o’er the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

PENN and TELLER finish folding the flag. PENN holds it as he speaks.

PENN
And what if, instead of using that meaningless piece of construction paper, we were to use a piece of paper that means more to us than any other piece of paper in the world -

TELLER holds up a rolled-up piece of paper. He lets it unroll, revealing a copy of the Bill of Rights.

PENN
The Bill of Rights. The first ten amendments to the Constitution. Including my favorite amendment, the First Amendment; it’s the one that guarantees - not just everybody in this room, but every single person in the United States – every citizen, every visitor, every magician … freedom of speech. 

As he continues, PENN stuffs the folded flag into the rolled-up copy of the Bill of Rights held by TELLER.

PENN
It’s the one that says if we want to add a little bit of, uh, spontaneous combustion to our simple vanish, we can do that. We can take a, some tinder -

As TELLER pulls a white piece of cloth from his pocket and adds it to the rolled-up paper, PENN pulls a lighter out of his pocket.

PENN
- and a very eccentric magic wand … and we can do this.

PENN lights the lighter and holds it to the end of the rolled-up paper held by TELLER. The crowd reacts as flames shoot out of the opposite end of the roll.

PENN
And it’s okay. ‘Cause even though the flag is gone -

TELLER shows the rolled-up paper to the crowd. It is now completely empty, with nothing left inside it.

PENN
- the Bill of Rights remains.

TELLER opens up the paper to reveal it is still that copy of the Bill of Rights. The crowd applauds as TOBY and JOSH look on in shock.

TOBY
Did they just burn an American flag in the White House?

JOSH
Uh-huh.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - BACK OFFICE OF PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY

ANNABETH is walking up the stairs into the back office of the briefing room, Several reporters are there, including KATIE, MARK, and a reporter named WALTER.

ANNABETH
Okay, here’s the latest updated schedule for the China summit … 

MARK
Hey, Annabeth -

ANNABETH
You guys – I’m just gonna run through the highlights real quick. The President leaves Andrews this afternoon at 2:15 pm with a stop in Louisiana before departing tonight from New Orleans for the flight to Beijing.

The reporters start asking questions.

KATIE
Any indication when the President’s going to appoint a new UN Ambassador?

ANNABETH
The First Lady will complete her visit to India tomorrow and arrive in Beijing in time for the state dinner on Thursday night.

KATIE
How long is the President going to leave the UN post vacant?

ANNABETH
Not as long as I’m gonna ignore questions about anything other than the China trip. In the New Orleans stop later today, the President will meet with shrimp fishermen and shrimp packers -

WALTER
Shrimpers.

ANNABETH
What?

WALTER
They’re called shrimpers, Annabeth, not shrimp fishermen.

ANNABETH
In New Orleans, the President will meet with representatives of the shrimp industry about their request to invoke anti-dumping sanctions against imported Chinese shrimp.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

There is a meeting going on about the summit. In the room with BARTLET are TOBY, KATE, UNDER SECRETARY OF STATE BARROW, and CJ.

CJ (handing a document to BARTLET)
Here’s the statement on human rights that you and President Lian will put out at the end of the first day of meetings.

BARTLET
Not a word about Tibet?

TOBY
Tibet’s in there. We just couldn’t use the word ‘Tibet.’

BARTLET (walking to TOBY to give him the document)
Okay, show me where you think the Tibet sentence is here.

KATE
Mr. President, what you say in the room is entirely up to you, what we say afterward in the joint statement is not.

BARTLET
I’m gonna hammer them on Tibet in the room.

KATE
And they’re gonna hammer you about your Indian reservations.

BARTLET
Indian reservations weren’t my idea.

KATE
I’m sure they’ll understand.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

JOSH is in a meeting with DEPUTY SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION and others, but his attention is drawn through the door to what is going on inside the Oval Office – at least until a staffer closes the Oval Office door.

DEPUTY SECRETARY
I’m just saying the Department of Transportation has a lot on its plate right now.

JOSH
Mr. Secretary, you’ve got transportation on your plate. That’s all.

DEPUTY SECRETARY
Look, Josh, the truth is I assumed you were going on the China trip and that we would have another week to get our homework done.

JOSH
This is more important than the China trip. This is the budget of the United States of America we’re talking about.

JOSH sees LEO walk by outside the room, and stands up, distracted again.

JOSH
You’re the only department who hasn’t submitted a budget proposal yet. I can’t ask OMB to put together a complete budget estimate until I got - 

JOSH starts to leave and follow LEO as DONNA comes in the room behind him.

JOSH
- I’ll be back.

DONNA
Senator Vinick’s confirmed for 11:15, which means we have to move your OMB meeting to, like, now -

JOSH
Give me a minute.

DONNA
And then you’ve got that other thing after wheels-up.

JOSH
What thing?

DONNA
Me.

JOSH
Oh. Right. Sure.

JOSH exits the room and chases LEO down the hall.

JOSH
Hey … you’re back.

LEO
Naw, I just have to sort out some files I have left in my office.

JOSH
Can’t Margaret send them to the house?

LEO
Be a federal crime if she did.

JOSH
Your-eyes-only kind of thing?

LEO
Yeah.

JOSH
You hear about this Vinick thing?

LEO
President ran it by me yesterday.

JOSH
I can’t believe it, Vinick’s been investigating us for seven years, nonstop, we’re offering him a job?

LEO
Sure, we’ve had some run-ins with him, but -

JOSH
Some run-ins?

LEO
He has always supported the President on foreign policy.

LEO walks off, smiling as he greets MARGARET with a hug. JOSH stands in the hallway, lost in his own thoughts.

LEO
Hey, sweetie!

MARGARET
Hey, boss. Let me tell CJ you’re here.

LEO
No, don’t bother her, just set me up somewhere with those files and I’ll stay out of everyone’s way.

MARGARET
I moved them over to CJ’s old office.

LEO
Shredder?

MARGARET
Engine’s running.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

The pre-summit meeting continues.

BARROW
And this is the statement on regional security that you and President Lian will put out at the end of the last day.

BARTLET
The last day shouldn’t be about regional security, it should just be about North Korea.

KATE
Sir, they’re only willing to discuss North Korea in the context of other regional issues -

BARTLET
Don’t they understand that North Korea is their regional security problem? Fix that and we’ve saved half the world.

KATE
I’ve made it very clear to them how much you want to talk about it.

BARTLET
Tell the Chinese if they talk to me about North Korea, they don’t have to talk to me about anything else.

BARROW
Mr. President, our agenda with China is now as long and complex as it is with any other country in the world.

BARTLET
I know.

BARROW
To narrow a summit to this one issue -

BARTLET
I know, I know, we can talk about the rest of this stuff on the plane.

CJ
Mr. President, I think we should cover as much as we can with the staff here before -

BARTLET
We got 20 hours to kill in the air over the next two days.

CJ and TOBY exchange a look.

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS SECRETARY’S OLD OFFICE – DAY

LEO is looking over files. JOSH is still talking with him.

JOSH
We got an election coming up and we’re actually saying there’s no Democrat who can represent us at the UN?

LEO
The President wants Arnold Vinick.

JOSH
Was Vinick your recommendation?

LEO
I’ve known the guy 30 years, and I don’t know anyone better for the job.

JOSH
Sorry, I’m, I’m having some trouble imagining Arnie Vinick as a diplomat.

LEO
UN could use some tough love these days. The President wanted to ask him himself, but you don’t wanna put them alone in the room until we know Vinick will say yes.

JOSH
Well, if he plays hard-to-get I’m out of there, I’m not begging a Republican.

LEO
If he says yes, he won’t be investigating us anymore.

JOSH
We’re doing this just to get him off our backs?

LEO
No. The President thinks he’s the best we can get. I’m just trying to give you your motivation.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

We are back in the meeting on the summit.

TOBY
I think we’re all anxious about the subjects because you’re insisting on being alone in the room with the Chinese leaders.

BARTLET
Yeah, you want to be in the room, too?

TOBY
I do not. But I think CJ and Kate and the Secretary -

BARTLET
I don’t want to fly all the way to China just to participate in another phony ritual of putting out these joint statements on what we already agreed to before the trip.

KATE
After the controversy about the Taiwanese flag, we’re lucky they didn’t cancel the whole thing -

BARTLET
This is my last China summit. It’s my last chance. I want to walk into that room and show the Chinese that they are not dealing with some staff-dependent puppet. I want them to see that I’m ready to get some real work done right there in the room. Progress isn’t good enough for me now – I want to get something done.

TOBY and CJ exchange another look. CJ gets an idea.

CJ
You like shrimp, don’t you?

BARTLET
I love it.

CJ
You might be interested to know how much of the shrimp sold in the US actually comes from China.

BARTLET
Nice. Okay, go ahead.

CJ gives a nod to a staffer on trade, STANLEY.

STANLEY
Uh, yes, sir, well, one of the most difficult trade issues on the agenda this time is shrimp.

BARTLET sits and gives him a look.

STANLEY
Shrimp.

CUT TO: INT. - BACK OFFICE OF PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY

ANNABETH continues her briefing with the group of reporters.

ANNABETH
And on the last day of the summit, the agenda will be the security of the region.

WALTER
Does that include North Korea?

ANNABETH
Yes, it does.

WALTER
So, can we expect to hear something -

ANNABETH
Walter, just let me get through the return trip itinerary and we’re done.

MARK
Annabeth, is it true that Penn and Teller burned an American flag in the White House last night?

ANNABETH
How many times do I have to tell you I’m not taking any questions?

MARK
They warn anybody that they were going to burn a flag?

KATIE
Who invited Penn and Teller to the White House?

ANNABETH
Penn and Teller were invited to perform at a private party last night in the East Room. Because it was a private party, the White House has no further comment.

WALTER
Do you have a list of who was -

ANNABETH
Walter. As I said, it was -

MARK
Was the President in the room?

ANNABETH
Mark. I’m not taking any questions.

KATIE
You just did.

ANNABETH
Well, I’m not taking any more.

The room is abuzz with questions from reporters.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY

The meeting on the summit continues.

STANLEY
Even if we make significant progress in tariffs and quotas and state-sponsored industries, if they don’t budge on the currency issue then we might not actually be able to achieve any real gains the -

CJ reads a note CHARLIE has just brought in to her.

CJ
‘State has confirmed that China has just released Wen Jong as a goodwill gesture on the eve of the President’s arrival -’

CJ stands and exchanges a high-five with KATE.

CJ
‘The dissident had been jailed for six and a half years on charges -’

CJ hands the note to BARTLET.

CJ
Congratulations, Mr. President.

BARTLET
They always give us one before a summit.

KATE
Wen Jong is not just any dissident!

CJ
We need to draft a statement right now.

SURGEON GENERAL MILLICENT GRIFFITH walks into the room.

CJ
Hey, Millie.

MILLIE
Hi, CJ.

BARTLET
Madame Surgeon General; the briefing book on public health in China is maybe just a touch too technical for someone who almost flunked organic chemistry.

CJ
What’d you get, a B?

MILLIE
B plus, as I recall.

BARTLET
Well, I don’t remember any of it. Are your bags packed?

MILLIE
Excuse me?

BARTLET
I need a seminar from you on the plane about SARS and AIDS in China.

MILLIE
No punch line?

BARTLET
Wheels-up at what, CJ?

CJ
2:15, but we’re already 20 minutes behind, so …

CJ gestures to TOBY as she heads out of the room.

BARTLET
So you got plenty of time to pack.

MILLIE
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Leonard, go ahead.

STANLEY
Stanley.

BARTLET
Okay.

STANLEY
As I was saying, uh, since the Chinese currency remains pegged to the dollar …

CUT TO: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE – DAY

CJ and CHARLIE walk into the outer office, followed by TOBY. ANNABETH is waiting for them.

ANNABETH
The Penn and Teller thing leaked.

TOBY
Big surprise.

ANNABETH
I got hit with it when I was giving them the China schedule.

CJ
How’d the ‘private party’ line go over?

ANNABETH
Like a lead balloon.

TOBY (to CJ)
Told ya.

CJ
The President’s not going to let us say anything else.

ANNABETH
They want to know who invited Penn and Teller. They want to know who was in the room.

CJ
And they really want to know if the President was in the room.

ANNABETH
Right.

TOBY
I knew this was going to leak the second it happened.

CHARLIE
The second what happened?

TOBY
Hmm?

CHARLIE
It was a magic trick. How do we know what they did or how they did it?

CJ
Are you saying maybe they didn’t really burn the flag?

TOBY
Doesn’t matter, people saw them do it.

CHARLIE
Maybe they burned a flag, maybe they just pretended to burn a flag.

CJ
Okay, Annabeth, get Penn and Teller to make a statement saying they didn’t really burn the flag and we’re done. I don’t want flag questions chasing us all the way to China.

CJ and TOBY head back into the Oval Office, where only KATE and MARGARET are left with BARTLET. KATE is trying out a statement while MARGARET has some papers for CJ.

KATE
And so we commend the Chinese government for releasing Wen Jong, but we hope that other -

BARTLET
‘Commend’ is too strong a word, isn’t it?

TOBY
How about ‘encouraged’? We were encouraged by the Chinese government.

BARTLET
Yeah, that’s better.

CJ holds out some papers for BARTLET. 

CJ
We need a couple of signatures.

BARTLET reaches out his right hand for the papers, but they fall to the floor. CJ bends down to retrieve them.

CJ
We need to get that statement out before we get on the plane.

TOBY
Do we talk about who the Chinese government should release next?

As the others talk, we watch BARTLET, his right arm mostly stationary, use his left hand to put a pen into his right hand. 

CJ
No, we should focus on what we won today.

KATE
So, just a general line then about what we hope they do in the future?

CJ
Right. And we need to tie it into the summit.

TOBY
Something about how this shows that the Chinese are ready for real negotiations on all of the issues on our agenda.

BARTLET gives up trying to write and puts his right hand into his pocket.

BARTLET
Let me take another look at that.

CJ
We should check this with State. They’ll want to have input on any statement referring to the summit.

The final shot is the papers on BARTLET’s desk, unsigned, with the pen next to them.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE – DAY

As the Presidential party prepares for the flight out of Joint Base Andrews, CJ, BARTLET, and the new body man, CURTIS CARUTHERS, are entering the Presidential office on board.

CJ
So, we’re going to get Penn and Teller to put out a statement explaining that they didn’t really burn a flag in the White House.

BARTLET
What, and ruin a perfectly good segment of Crossfire tonight?

CJ
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you want every question in the China summit press conference to be about flag burning in the White House.

In the background there’s a TV screen showing coverage of Governor Baker.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – DAY

That same TV coverage of Baker is seen on a TV in the bullpen. DONNA, at her desk, is talking to JOSH, in his office doorway.

DONNA
You want to see any of these Christmas party invitations I’m declining for you?

JOSH
Only the ones you’re accepting, which I hope are none.

DONNA
So far.

JOSH
Are wheels up yet?

DONNA
In four minutes.

JOSH
So that’s like, what, 50 minutes behind schedule?

DONNA
Forty-eight.

JOSH
Okay, so you owe me …

DONNA
No, no, no, you bet 45 or under, and I -

JOSH
I never bet 45 or under, not on a foreign trip.

DONNA
You really want to become a pathological liar over three bucks?

JOSH (walking down the hall)
I’m late for Vinick.

DONNA
Not any more you’re not.

JOSH
Did he cancel?

DONNA
No, I just rescheduled it for you.

JOSH (returning to DONNA)
This better be good.

DONNA
Vinick’s scheduler was fine with it.

JOSH
Did it occur to you that I might have a problem with it?

DONNA
She said later would actually be better for the Senator, he won’t be rushed.

JOSH
Uh-huh. So?

DONNA
So, Charlie needs you.

JOSH
Charlie?

DONNA
Well, obviously that means it’s a CJ thing, he’s been passing along stuff for her since she’s been, you know, on the road.

JOSH
You can say China trip. Every time you say ‘on the road,’ it screams trying to avoid saying ‘China trip.’

DONNA
Me avoid saying something to you?

JOSH
Let’s get two things straight: first, I’m fine not going on the China trip. Picking a UN ambassador is no small thing.

DONNA
You didn’t pick him.

JOSH
And second, only I can decide to reschedule Vinick, not you and Charlie.

DONNA
Okay, to keep your fragile ego intact, I’ve been trying to avoid using the phrase, ‘direct order from CJ.’ I’ll take your coat.

JOSH glumly turns around as DONNA takes his overcoat.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE – DAY

TOBY is getting coffee in the galley and then walks through the press seating area. We hear an announcement from a disembodied voice somewhere.

VOICE
We will be landing in New Orleans in 25 minutes. The press -

The reporters start asking questions as TOBY walks by.

TOBY
I have nothing more on the flag thing.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CORRIDOR – DAY

BARTLET, KATE, and CJ come out of a room and walk down the corridor as TOBY joins them.

BARTLET
CJ, I think we’ve used about enough presidential time talking about a kid’s birthday party, what else you got, Kate?

KATE
Did they really burn the flag -?

BARTLET
I don’t know. I was in bed five minutes after Zoey blew out the candles.

TOBY (as they enter the presidential office)
I have a draft statement for you to look at. We really should get a statement out before we land in New Orleans.

BARTLET takes the statement from TOBY to look at it. He is still keeping his right hand in his pocket.

BARTLET (reading)
‘While I do not condone flag burning, blah blah blah … I was not present when, blah, blah, blah …’ it’s too long.

TOBY
Let me work on that.

BARTLET (keeping the statement away from TOBY)
No, let me. It was a private party.

BARTLET now hands the statement back to TOBY.

TOBY
I’ll stress that.

BARTLET
No, that’s it. That’s my statement, ‘it was a private party,’ period, not another word.

TOBY
It was in the White House.

BARTLET
Underline private.

TOBY
It wasn’t in the residence, it was in the East Room. There were at least 50 people there, we can’t just say -

BARTLET
I’m not letting anyone drag me into a national shouting match about what happened at my daughter’s birthday party.

CJ and TOBY exchange a look. There is a knock at the door, and CURTIS leans into the room.

CURTIS
Landing in New Orleans in 20 minutes.

BARTLET
Thank you.

CURTIS exits, closing the door.

BARTLET
Go ahead, Kate.

CUT TO: INT. - STAFFERS OFFICE – DAY

JOSH is talking with CHARLIE as people buzz around them.

CHARLIE
Just so you know, I’m not comfortable with this. CJ wanted to call you directly, but she got pulled into a thing.

JOSH
On the plane.

CHARLIE
It’s not just you. She’s already had me on the phone this morning with half the Cabinet. She just can’t make every phone call herself.

JOSH
Right.

CHARLIE
Anyway, she wants you to help out on the flag burning thing.

JOSH
Instead of getting us a UN ambassador?

CHARLIE
No, not instead of, just before. Twenty-seven congressmen signed this letter demanding the President explain what happened. The story’s all over cable news, CJ’s afraid it’s going to drown out coverage of the China trip. She needs you to -

JOSH (grinning)
Put out the fire? She actually say, ‘put out the fire’? Tell me she said ‘put out the fire.’

CHARLIE looks askance at JOSH.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

ANNABETH is walking down the hall towards the Communications bullpen with JOSH and CHARLIE.

ANNABETH
We’re already buried in calls from all the usual suspects, plus Entertainment Tonight, Access Hollywood, Daily Variety, Hollywood Reporter, Magicians Monthly …

JOSH
Okay, okay – why don’t you track down Penn and Teller and get them on the phone with me.

ANNABETH
Them? Teller doesn’t speak.

JOSH
That’s just an act.

ANNABETH
Penn told me Teller doesn’t speak.

JOSH
You’ve talked to Penn?

ANNABETH
Yeah, right before you came in. They’ll be here in a couple of hours. Sounded pretty cooperative on the phone.

JOSH
Okay – who are we kidding? You don’t need me on this thing.

As JOSH turns to leave ANNABETH’s office, WILL walks up holding a statement.

WILL
Hey … just wanted to give you a heads-up on the Vice President’s statement about the flag burning. He wants to get it out this afternoon.

JOSH takes the statement and reads it.

JOSH (reading)
‘When I was in Congress, I led the fight for a Constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. This obscene stunt once again points out the urgent need for a Constitutional -’ Can this guy open his mouth without pandering? Let me know when Penn and Teller show up.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – DAY

JOSH and WILL walk into JOSH’s office.

WILL
You gotta understand my position, I tried to talk him out of this -

JOSH (shouting)
Donna, where’s the OMB report on the HHS budget?

DONNA (coming into the office)
Where the OMB reports always are, in the stack beside the thing.

JOSH
Right. (as DONNA starts out) Oh, and the, uh … supplements?

DONNA (coming back)
They’re in the supplementary stack, beside the other thing. (exiting) Okay, I’m done helping you ignore Will.

WILL
So how would you suggest the Vice President handle a flag burning in the White House, what would you tell him to do?

JOSH
I would tell him to shut up! I would tell him to show a little loyalty to the President and his family, but then I’d have to explain to him what loyalty is, wouldn’t I?

WILL
Do you have time to do that now?

JOSH looks at WILL.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE – DAY

TOBY is on the telephone in the corridor.

TOBY
He shook a few too many hands in New Orleans, but the pilot says we can make up some of the lost time in the air.

A steward carries a tray of food into the presidential office. CJ and STANLEY are seated in front of BARTLET, as STANLEY continues to brief him on trade issues. KATE and BARROW are also in the room, and TOBY soons joins them.

STANLEY
Yes, China is definitely dumping shrimp in the US at below-cost prices, but so is Vietnam. So, if we threaten to bring a WTO case against China, then we have to threaten Vietnam, too.

KATE
And obviously, the US threatening Vietnam can wake up a lot of sleeping dogs.

BARTLET
How much of our shrimp comes from China and Vietnam?

STANLEY
Twenty-five percent. There’s no way that our domestic industry could replace that much of the supply, and it would only make it easier for Brazil to increase their market share.

BARTLET
But I just told those guys in New Orleans that I would do something.

BARROW
You will do something. You’ll raise the issue with the Chinese.

BARTLET
You know, Teddy, no one outside of the State Department thinks that raising the issue and doing something are the same.

The camera moves to BARTLET’s tray of food, untouched.

CUT TO: EXT. - PORTICO – NIGHT

JOSH and WILL are meeting with RUSSELL as they walk along the Portico.

RUSSELL
I was a co-sponsor of the flag burning amendment every time we brought it to a vote in the House.

JOSH
Big difference between being a Congressman and being Vice President.

RUSSELL
I know, but I’ve got a lot of history with this subject. Exit polls always showed that voters didn’t know much about me, but the one thing that they did know was that Bob Russell was against flag burning.

JOSH
That’s in one congressional district in Colorado, now you have to define yourself nationally. Do you really want to start with flag burning?

RUSSELL
I gotta say something. It’s the story of the day.

JOSH
China summit’s the story of the day, if you don’t have something to say about US relations with the biggest country in the world, why are you running for President? Voters understand loyalty … they’re not expecting you to take a shot at the President on something that happened at his daughter’s birthday party.

RUSSELL
Eric Baker is going to New Hampshire today to announce his candidacy. You know the press is going to ask him about this.

JOSH
If Baker makes a statement -

RUSSELL
If? Baker has to jump on this. He needs to move to the right on something, this is perfect for him.

JOSH
So what? You think that helps either one of you get the Democratic nomination?

RUSSELL (as they walk through a door into a hallway)
It’s never too early to think about where I gotta be in the general.

JOSH
Mr. Vice President, have you seen Baker’s numbers?

RUSSELL
That’s why I can’t miss any opportunity, like this flag thing.

JOSH
Baker’s at 32, you’re at 19, Hoynes and everyone else are in single digits. You’re not going to catch up to Baker with flag burning. Baker’s just a governor. He’s gotta jump at every issue to get coverage outside of Pennsylvania. You’re Vice President of the United States. You can’t go chasing every little controversy that comes along. You can’t let Baker dictate your agenda. You pick your spots carefully, every speech you give would be treated as breaking news on CNN.

RUSSELL
I need you to pick those spots for me. Will here’s been telling me for a while that you’re the guy to run this campaign, and now I can see why.

NANCY comes up to RUSSELL.

NANCY
They’re ready for you now.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

WILL and JOSH are walking away from the Mural Room into JOSH’s office. 

WILL
He’s not stupid.

JOSH
That’s your bumper sticker?

WILL
He was smart enough to take your advice.

JOSH
That was a setup.

WILL
No, it wasn’t, he really did want to put out that statement. I couldn’t talk him out of it. Once I heard your take on it, seemed like the perfect time to put you two together. This is a write-your-own-ticket offer, you’d have complete control.

JOSH
You don’t want to run it?

WILL
I’ve never done a national campaign. It wouldn’t be fair to him.

JOSH
Baker’s gonna chew him up in the debates. Even Hoynes’ll run rings around him on the issues.

WILL
Sure – Baker’s gonna be the front-runner, but the VP is gonna be the only guy with enough money to hang in there against Baker.

JOSH
What about Hoynes?

WILL
Damaged goods.

JOSH
So you think it’s a two-man race by the time we get to Super Tuesday?

WILL
Right. And Baker’s not gonna play well in the South.

JOSH looks thoughtful.

WILL
I heard Hoynes made you an offer. (beat) Has Baker called you?

JOSH
Bruno runs Baker’s campaigns.

WILL
Bob Russell might be the next President of the United States. You get in now, you can make him the candidate you want him to be. After that, we make him the President we need him to be.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – DAY

JOSH is heading out of his office, wearing his coat as he walks by DONNA’s desk.

JOSH
Where is Vinick’s office?

DONNA
Dirksen 464.

JOSH
Thanks.

DONNA
Got Penn and Teller’s statement.

JOSH
Let me see.

DONNA (handing it to him)
You’re not gonna love it.

JOSH walks off with the statement, DONNA follows him.

DONNA
So how about a few minutes after you get back from the Vinick meeting?

JOSH
For what?

DONNA
For me. For that talk we were gonna have about -

JOSH (reading)
‘The Supreme Court has ruled that we can do whatever we want with the flag, and the Founding Fathers obviously intended ...’ Are they still here?

JOSH brushes by a downcast DONNA and heads off.

CUT TO: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY

PENN and TELLER are regaling a group of staffers, including CHARLIE and ANNABETH. PENN is juggling a few items, including an apple, with TELLER standing directly in front of him. TELLER occasionally takes a bite from the apple as PENN continues to juggle it.

PENN
Juggling identical objects, identical weights, is pretty easy with about, you know, five years practice, but juggling – uh – different weights, different shapes, stuff you’ve just picked off people’s desks, stuff you couldn’t possibly have practiced with, that’s when it gets a little bit, uh, tricky.  

JOSH walks in as PENN finishes juggling, the apple in TELLER’s mouth.

CHARLIE
That’s amazing.

PENN
Thanks a lot.

JOSH
This statement does me absolutely no good. I need you guys to give me a statement saying exactly what you did last night – preferably that you did not burn a flag – and if you did actually burn a flag, I need you to admit it, and emphasize that you did not clear your act with anyone in the White House before you performed, and had you done so, you now realize you would have been explicitly forbidden to burn a flag in the White House, and you now deeply regret the controversy you have provoked and apologize to the President and his family for treating his home with such disrespect.

PENN (holding out a hand)
Hi, I’m Penn Jillette. This is Teller.

JOSH (shaking hands)
Hi. Josh Lyman. (to TELLER) How you doing?

PENN
He doesn’t talk.

JOSH
Doesn’t talk like Harpo Marx or really doesn’t talk?

PENN
What’s the difference?

JOSH
Okay, how did you do the flag trick?

PENN looks at TELLER, then starts to laugh.

PENN
We’re not gonna tell you that.

JOSH
Fine. So if Annabeth goes out there and says that you did not burn a flag last night, no one can refute that.

ANNABETH
Except the hundred people who saw them burn a flag or think that’s what they saw.

PENN
You tell me, Charlie, did we burn a flag, or did we just - vanish a flag in a patriotic flash of fireworks?

CHARLIE
Don’t know.

PENN (to JOSH)
What’s the difference?

JOSH
Well, there’s a big difference politically.

PENN
Why? I mean, what if we burned a flag, not in protest, but in celebration of the very freedoms that allow us to burn a flag; the freedoms that everyone who has ever worked in this magnificent building has pledged to preserve and protect?

(Pause)

JOSH
Did you go to law school?

PENN
No. Clown school.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE – DAY

The meeting with BARTLET and his advisers is continuing. We see CJ taking note of BARTLET’s untouched food.

BARTLET
Let’s find a compromise on shrimp that I can ask the Chinese to offer Vietnam without our fingerprints on it, something that nudges both of them closer to fair price levels.

CJ
Okay, everyone, the President has a phone call to make.

CJ ushers everyone out, including TOBY, who exchanges another look with her before exiting.

BARTLET
What was all that about?

CJ
You okay?

BARTLET
I’m fine.

CJ
You’re not eating.

BARTLET
I’m not that hungry.

CJ
You said you were hungry when you were ordering.

BARTLET
Don’t worry, I’ll eat. But thanks for getting rid of them. Sixteen more hours of that would be a bit much. Send Millie in, would you? I don’t need to talk shop with her.

CJ
Yes, sir.

CJ exits as BARTLET watches her go.

CUT TO: INT. - VINICK’S OUTER OFFICE – DAY

JOSH is waiting outside VINICK’s office.

WOMAN
The Senator will see you now.

The WOMAN opens the doors to VINICK’s office and ushers JOSH inside. SENATOR ARNOLD VINICK is sitting in a chair, polishing his shoes.

JOSH
Mr. Chairman?

VINICK
Shine your own shoes, Josh?

JOSH
No, I, I can’t say that I do.

VINICK
My father used to say you can’t trust a man who doesn’t shine his own shoes.

VINICK turns to look at JOSH’s shoes.

VINICK
Does anybody shine those things?

JOSH
Not really, no.

VINICK
How many guys left in this town shine their own shoes?

JOSH
Not a lot.

VINICK
None.

JOSH
Is that how many you trust?

VINICK
That’s exactly how many I trust.

JOSH
Mr. Chairman, the President -

VINICK
I know what you’re thinking – must be lonely being this mean old guy who doesn’t trust anyone. Well, I trust my brother, my four children, my nine grandchildren, and my dog. I suspect that’s more than you trust, now, isn’t it?

JOSH
Yeah.

VINICK
The Founding Fathers didn’t set up a government based on trust. They could’ve designed a government based on trust in our ability to govern fairly, but they knew that power corrupts, so they invented checks and balances. That was genius. The Founding Fathers did not want me to trust you, and they did not want you to trust me.

JOSH
Well, they must be very proud of us.

VINICK
Have a seat.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE - EVENING

MILLIE is talking with BARTLET. His tray of food remains untouched in front of him.

MILLIE
Oh, we’re still negotiating Christmas. Tommy wants to go on an archeological dig with some heathen professor of his, and Cleo’s doing Christmas with her dad this year.

BARTLET
Then you’re doing Christmas with your goddaughter and her family.

MILLIE
I can’t afford another Bartlet Christmas on this government salary. Way too many presents!

BARTLET takes a beat.

BARTLET
Millie, I can’t move my hands.

There is a long pause.

MILLIE
Ever happen before?

BARTLET
It’s usually one or the other.

MILLIE
Never both?

BARTLET
No.

MILLIE gets up and comes around the desk to examine BARTLET.

MILLIE (holding a hand)
You feel that?

BARTLET
No.

MILLIE (reaching for the other hand)
Anything?

BARTLET (whispering)
No.

MILLIE
You want me to bring in the flight doctor?

BARTLET
Not unless it gets worse.

Another pause.

MILLIE
Well – I guess I’m going to have to feed you then, aren’t I?

MILLIE gets the silverware and napkin ready as BARTLET stares ahead.

CUT TO: INT. - VINICK’S OFFICE – DAY

VINICK is still shining his shoes as he talks with JOSH.

VINICK
Every White House forgets about checks and balances. You guys are no different.

JOSH
Checks are fine, it’s the witch hunts I got a problem with -

VINICK (sliding a can of shoe polish across the table to JOSH)
You’ll need Cordovan for those. Pick up a brush, you’re not leaving this room with shoes like that.

JOSH pulls off one of his shoes.

VINICK
Here’s another check you won’t like … I’m gonna hold another hearing on your man Margudian, taking a Marine helicopter to play golf in Florida.

JOSH
Come on, that was over a year ago, we fired the guy.

VINICK
No, this was another incident, the year before that one.

JOSH
You really think the American people care about this?

VINICK
Hope not – but I got a dozen members of my committee who do. They think it’s a good way to get on TV. You think I like investigating high school stuff like this?

JOSH
Fooled me.

VINICK
Have I ever campaigned saying I was going to be the best investigator in the Senate? Of course not. This isn’t what I came here to do. I came here to make this a better government, to make this a better country, and I just wish you guys would stop serving up these goofy things for us to investigate.

JOSH
We’ve run a pretty tight ship lately.

VINICK
Yes, you have … which is why they had to reach back a couple of years to find something new to yell about. But just do me a big favor, will ya? No more flag burnings in the White House. I’ve had four nuts demand hearings on that one already.

JOSH
So?

VINICK
So I told them that the United States Senate does not investigate what happens at kid’s birthday parties. Not as long as I have anything to say about it.

JOSH
Have you decided if you’re going to run for another term?

VINICK
Yep. Flying home tonight, making my announcement tomorrow. Why, you want to make me a retirement offer?

JOSH
Yeah, I happen to have one on me.

(beat)

VINICK
What have you got?

JOSH
Help the President make the world a better place. 

VINICK
UN. (pause) That’s tempting. That’s very tempting. But that’s not the job I want.

JOSH
Well, the President didn’t send me with a menu of jobs, just this one.

VINICK
The President can’t give me the job I want.

JOSH
Which one?

VINICK
His.

JOSH’s eyebrows raise as VINICK continues with his shoes.

JOSH
You’re running?

VINICK
Starting tomorrow. (pointing to JOSH’s shoe) You missed a spot on the heel.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

MILLIE, CJ, and TOBY are sitting around the table as cable news footage of military manuevers plays on the TV.

MILLIE
The only thing to do is let him rest, he could feel fine by the time he gets off the plane.

TOBY
Or he could get worse.

MILLIE
Well, if this is as bad as it gets, no one’ll notice a thing.

CJ
Except when he has to shake hands, which he’s going to have to do about 200 times before lunch tomorrow.

MILLIE
It’d be good to keep the handshaking to a minimum.

CJ
We should cancel the first reception.

TOBY
You know how many weeks the protocol officers spent on that one? The public events are the only ones the Chinese really care about.

CJ
If the President of the United States can’t publicly shake hands with another head of state …

TOBY 
It’d sure kill the flag burning story.

MILLIE
Could we get Abbey on the phone?

CJ
Yeah.

TOBY
Who else should we call?

MILLIE
Well, for an MS patient, this is the equivalent of a headache. I mean, who would you want us to call if you had a headache?

CJ (sighs)
Okay. Let’s just keep this on the plane for now.

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS SECRETARY’S OLD OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH has returned from the Capitol and greets LEO, who is still working on his files.

JOSH
Thought you’d be long gone.

LEO
More junk here than I thought.

JOSH
Shouldn’t you still be, you know, taking it easy?

LEO
I think a two-hour nap qualifies as taking it easy. Did you hook Vinick?

JOSH
Not exactly.

LEO
He’s going to run for another term.

JOSH
I don’t know much a, about heart stuff, but aren’t you supposed to – I, I, I, maybe we shouldn’t -

LEO
Don’t worry, you’re not going to shock me into my grave.

JOSH
He’s running for President.

LEO is taken aback.

JOSH
He announces tomorrow.

LEO
President?!

JOSH
I don’t, I don’t see how he gets the nomination. What’s he gonna run on, tax cuts and more tax cuts? Every Republican candidate’ll be for tax cuts. Then what? Flip-flop on abortion?

LEO
He’s against late-term abortion.

JOSH
That’s not good enough for the Republican base.

LEO
He’s got a lot of California money behind him.

JOSH
Even if he raises twice as -

DONNA bursts into the doorway.

DONNA
Sorry, but Eric Baker’s live on MSNBC right now. Says he’s not running.

JOSH and LEO look at each other before JOSH leaps up to follow DONNA down the hall.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – NIGHT

All the TVs in the room are playing coverage of BAKER’s speech. JOSH comes down the hall and joins DONNA and WILL, who are watching.

BAKER (on TV)
And so, I have decided for family reasons that this is not that time. This is the time that I can keep my commitment to the people of Pennsylvania to be a full-time governor, and the commitment to my family to be a full-time father.

WILL
Family reasons?

JOSH
Unbelievable.

BAKER (on TV)
Well, I never decided to get into the Presidential race, so I can’t see how you can say I dropped out of it.

WILL
How lucky can we get?

JOSH
You’re never gonna get luckier than this.

BAKER (on TV)
I expect to stay neutral in the Democratic primaries -

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE – NIGHT

BARTLET remains sitting in his chair as CJ talks to him. CURTIS is also there. The TV is showing BAKER’s press conference.

CJ
Millie says you should use the flight to rest, no more meetings.

BARTLET
Thanks.

CJ
We’re not gonna interrupt you for anything.

BARTLET
Fine by me.

TOBY bursts through the doorway.

TOBY
Excuse me, Mr. President, Baker just dropped out.

BARTLET
Baker’s not running?

CJ
Toby …

CURTIS exits.

TOBY
It looks like our very own Bob Russell is the new front-runner for the Democratic nomination.

CJ
Toby, please. Mr. President, this is exactly what we’re not going to do. You need to rest, so we’re not going to bring you anything you don’t need to know immediately.

TOBY and CJ start to leave. As CJ pulls the door closed:

CJ
But we mean real rest, not studying briefing books.

BARTLET
Are you going to watch me rest?

CJ
If I have to.

BARTLET
Get out of here.

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS SECRETARY’S OLD OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH and LEO are discussing the day’s events.

LEO
Family reasons.

JOSH
Go figure.

LEO
He’s close to Vinick, you know.

JOSH
No, I didn’t know.

LEO
Yeah, Baker was on the Judiciary Committee staff back when Vinick was a freshman Senator, they’ve been tight ever since.

JOSH
So what? Since when have you seen friendship trump ambition in politics?

LEO
Maybe Baker figures the Democratic nomination’s not worth winning this time if he has to go against Vinick in the general.

JOSH
But there’s no way Vinick’s getting the nomination, he’s not conservative enough.

LEO
I’m just saying, Baker’s not sitting this out for family reasons. Could be Vinick – could be something else …

JOSH
Who’s our front-runner with Baker out?

LEO
Run a poll without Baker in it and Russell’s gonna go sky-high. Hoynes will pop, too.

JOSH
Russell or Hoynes gets our nomination, who gets the Republican nomination?

LEO
It’s wide open. They’ve been out of power for eight years and they’re desperate. Probably why Vinick figures he has a shot.

JOSH
You’re serious?

LEO
Ever see Arnie Vinick campaign, up close? He’ll go into those high school gymnasiums in Iowa and New Hampshire and blow them all away. Shake every hand in the joint, kiss every baby, hug every widow on Social Security … and sound smarter and more honest than any Republican they’ve ever seen – because he is. He could win in the early states, go into the South with some momentum, then … who knows what happens?

JOSH
Republican who wins California wipes us out in the Electoral College.

LEO
Right.

JOSH
He’s not getting the nomination.

LEO
If he does … we’ve got no one who can beat him.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: EXT. - SANTA PAULA CITY HALL – DAY

VINICK is making his announcement outside Santa Paula City Hall in front of an enthusiastic crowd. We first see him on multiple TV screens, then the camera moves up to show the scene.

VINICK (on TV)
And so, I have returned to the place where my, my career in public service began, right here at City Hall, to announce my candidacy to be the next President of the United States.

VINICK
And I ask you, I ask all of you who have been with me from the beginning -

The scene changes back and forth from JOSH in his office, listening to VINICK while looking at a newspaper, and the scene outside City Hall.

VINICK (on TV)
- to set out with me today from this valley on this new quest, to help me bring the promise and the opportunity of America to all Americans.

Back to the live shot.

REPORTER 1
Senator Vinick, do you think you’re conservative enough to get the Republican nomination?

VINICK
I think I’m Republican enough. I’ve been a life-long Republican -

Back to JOSH in his office.

VINICK (on TV)
- always been loyal to the party, always will.

Back to City Hall.

REPORTER 2
Do you think President Bartlet should investigate whether a flag was burned in the White House?

VINICK
No.

Back to JOSH.

VINICK (on TV)
I accept the President’s statement that it was a private party. I don’t think we need to hear any more about it.

REPORTER 1 (on TV)
But don’t the people have a right to know if a flag was -

DONNA comes into JOSH’s office carrying a folder.

DONNA
Are you watching?

VINICK (on TV)
The people have a right to know the President’s position on the issues. But they don’t have the right to know what happens at his daughter’s birthday party.

REPORTER 1 (on TV)
But if they burned a flag in the White -

VINICK (on TV)
Hey, I think this is a perfect demonstration -

Back live to City Hall.

VINICK
- of what the President is flying halfway around the world right now to try to teach the Chinese government; the meaning of freedom.

Back to JOSH and DONNA watching the TV.

VINICK (on TV)
It’s a good thing the magicians didn’t try this trick in Tiananmen Square, with the Chinese flag wrapped in the Chinese Bill of Rights. Because there is no Chinese Bill of Rights.

REPORTERS (on TV)
Senator! Senator!

VINICK (on TV)
Thank you! Thank you!

DONNA (to JOSH)
You have a year to talk me out of voting for him.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE – NIGHT

The overhead lights are being shut off, and reporters in the press cabin are closing their laptops for the night as the pilot makes an announcement.

PILOT (VO)
We’ve reached our cruising altitude of 41,000 feet and we’re anticipating a smooth ride over the Pacific tonight. We’ll be passing the Hawaiian Ridge to our south in approximately an hour, and as always, I’ll give you a reminder as we pass -

KATE walks down the corridor and finds CJ resting in her seat.

KATE
We’ve got a situation.

CJ
What?

KATE
South Korea.

CJ stands, and she and KATE walk to the Presidential office. They knock at the door and enter, finding BARTLET lying on the sofa.

BARTLET (groggily)
I thought you were gonna let me rest.

CJ
I’m so sorry, sir, State just got a heads-up from the IAEA that they’re gonna report tomorrow, that the South Korean government has admitted to conducting an experiment to enrich uranium. South Korea is not releasing any details. We need you to get on the phone and get the President to come clean. We can’t ask China to help stop North Korean nuclear experiments if the South is doing it, too. 

CJ picks up a phone handset.

CJ (into phone)
Get us a secure line with the South Korean President.

BARTLET (quietly)
CJ. Hold it.

CJ
Sir?

BARTLET
I can’t move.

CJ looks to KATE.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CORRIDOR – NIGHT

As the reporters and others sleep in their seats, we see Secret Service agents taking their places. Two men, including CURTIS, carry BARTLET on a stretcher down the corridor past sleeping passengers, as they take him to his quarters.

MILLIE
Progressive paralysis. He had trouble with his hands, now it’s both legs and his right arm -

BARTLET
So much for being staff-dependent in China.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT (to CJ)
Fairbanks is closer, but Anchorage is better for a 747.

BARTLET
I’ve got better doctors up here than I’d get down there.

CJ
Mr. President, we can’t take the chance that the -

BARTLET
Let’s not pretend we didn’t know this was going to happen.

CJ
No, Mr. President, I didn’t know.

BARTLET is now on a sofa bed in his quarters, with MILLIE examining him.

BARTLET
I mean, we always knew it was gonna happen someday. I’m ready for it, you better be, too.

CJ
Mr. President, we can’t land in China with you -

BARTLET
This plane is going to China! That’s a direct order from your Commander-in-Chief.

MILLIE
Okay, we’re gonna need to clear the room for some tests.

CUT TO: EXT. - PORTICO – NIGHT

It is raining, with a roll of thunder. JOSH is sitting on a bench, thinking. WILL walks up to him, carrying some papers.

WILL
Got some new numbers.

WILL hands the papers to JOSH and sits next to him.

WILL
Tracking poll has us up 16 points with Baker out of the race.

JOSH (looking over the polling)
Hoynes is up, too.

WILL
Yeah, but we picked up a lot more. Russell’s the man to beat now.

JOSH
Yeah.

WILL
Listen, we have a breakfast tomorrow with senior campaign staff, why don’t you drop by? Doesn’t commit you to anything, you can just be a fly on the wall, if you want. See how it feels.

JOSH
No thanks.

JOSH sighs deeply, handing the polls back to WILL.

WILL
This isn’t a Broadway show, Josh. We don’t just close it down after a successful eight-year run. You have to care who’s going to sit in that chair after Jed Bartlet is gone.

JOSH
I do. That’s why I don’t want Bob Russell to be President.

WILL takes a moment as that sinks in, then stands and walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE MEETING ROOM – NIGHT

CJ, TOBY, and KATE are strategizing.

CJ
We just have to hope the doctors will talk some sense into him and get this plane turned around.

TOBY
We turn this plane around and that’s the end of his presidency. We’d be saying he can’t do the job anymore.

CJ
No, we’d just be saying he’s sick, we’ll go back to China as soon as he’s up to it.

TOBY
You might as well just say, ‘He’s a part-time President. He can only do the job when he feels up to it’! You really think there’s any chance he’s going to let you turn this plane around?

KATE
If we cancel, the Chinese might not believe us. They’ll think we’re canceling because the South Koreans got caught working on nuclear weapons.

TOBY
We gotta do full disclosure on this.

CJ tries to digest it all.

TOBY
Millie should do a full briefing, with the press, all the medical facts right here on this plane. Just as soon as we know what …

CJ
He knew.

TOBY
Huh?

CJ
That’s why the Surgeon General’s on the flight. He wanted her here to do the briefing. He knew he was having problems, he knew this might happen.

KATE
We’re three hours from Beijing. If we turn around, we’re gonna have to refuel. Maybe we should let the cockpit start checking their options.

CJ
Yeah, okay.

The SECRET SERVICE AGENT comes into the room.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
He wants to see you. All of you.

CJ, TOBY and KATE are walking down the corridor towards the President’s quarters when the SECRET SERVICE AGENT stops them.

SECRET SERVICE AGENT
Not there. In the infirmary.

They go into the infirmary (which appears to be the Presidential office). BARTLET is now sitting up at his desk, with an IV. MILLIE is helping button his vest.

BARTLET
I just got off the phone with President Wang of South Korea. He insists he didn’t know about the nuclear experiment. Says it was just a couple of curious young scientists and, they only enriched about two-tenths of a gram of uranium. That’s not nearly enough for weapons-grade enrichment, is it?

KATE
Uh, no, it’s not, sir. Weapons grade would have to be at least 90 percent higher than that.

BARTLET
Okay. Wang says they’re cooperating fully with the IAEA inspectors, and he’s ordered these young scientists to participate in a joint press conference with the inspectors tomorrow, and then he’s gonna fire their asses.

KATE
That’s not going to make North Korea feel much better.

BARTLET
I know, but it’s a start. CJ, we gotta set up a quick press briefing for the gang in the back of the plane right away.

CJ
Mr. President, are you, um …

BARTLET (holding out his left arm)
My left hand is back. I still have no feeling in my legs, and my right arm is in no shape to be shaking hands in China. Gotta remember to tell the protocol officer that.

TOBY
Are you in pain?

BARTLET
I’m fine, as long as I don’t attempt any superhuman feat like, say, writing my name. (to a man in the back of the room) Okay, let’s get started. (to CJ, TOBY, and KATE) Think anybody’s gonna ask about that flag burning thing now? All right, look, when we get out there, I’ll lead off with the MS thing, then go to the South Korea story. I’ll leave it to you, Millie, to get into any medical details if anyone has any questions about that.

CJ
Oh, I think they might have a few … hundred.

BARTLET
I’m just going to tell them that the President of the United States will be working from a wheelchair again.

CJ
Again?

TOBY
FDR.

BARTLET
Do I really have to remind those kids that Roosevelt fought World War II from a wheelchair?

TOBY
Yeah, but …

BARTLET
But he died in office. Okay, I’ll skip the Roosevelt bit. (to someone in the back of the room) Bring that thing over here, would you?

CJ, TOBY, and KATE turn to see a wheelchair being set up.

BARTLET
How much you wanna bet I can get them to ask me a question about South Korea?

There is a pause.

CJ
How much you got?

Back in the cabin of the plane, the lights flicker on. The reporters begin to wake up. CJ draws back a curtain in the doorway.

CJ
Sorry to wake you up, but the President has an announcement to make.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CORRIDOR – NIGHT

BARTLET sits in the wheelchair as the lights come on around him. CURTIS comes up to take the handles of the wheelchair.

BARTLET
No. I’ll take it from here.

CURTIS goes back to stand in the corridor. BARTLET, with a great amount of effort, using his left arm and trying to get his right arm to help, slowly starts moving the wheelchair down the corridor. He finally gets some momentum going, moving down the corridor and turning a corner to the press cabin.

CJ (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

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The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x8 – In The Room
Original Airdate: December 8, 2004