THE WEST WING
6x14 - “THE WAKE UP CALL”
WRITTEN BY JOSH SINGER
DIRECTED BY LAURA INNES
Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)
TEASER
THE WAKE UP CALL
FADE IN: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT
8 PM
We hear Verdi’s opera Otello playing. The camera slowly moves across the Oval Office, finally showing us BARTLET sitting next to his desk, listening. CJ appears in the doorway in the background.
CJ
Sir?
BARTLET
Evening.
CJ
I thought you were heading back to the residence.
BARTLET
Thought about it. Then I thought I’d sit here and enjoy the art for a while.
CJ (as BARTLET rises)
Sir, do you want me to get Curtis - ?
BARTLET
No, no. I’m a bachelor tonight.
CJ
So I heard.
BARTLET
Abbey’s in Baltimore with Ellie and what’s-his-name, the new boyfriend.
CJ
I hear we like him.
BARTLET
What’s not to like – the guy’s spent the last 15 years studying the mating rituals of Drosophilia melanogaster.
CJ (helping BARTLET with his suit coat)
He likes fruit flies.
BARTLET
And my daughter, hopefully not in that order. What say we grab Toby and head out on the town? Trip the light fantastic.
CJ
Are we gonna throw on sailor caps and chase after Miss Turnstiles?
BARTLET
Come on, the old lady’s out of town.
CJ
The old lady’ll have my head if I don’t get you to bed in the next half hour.
BARTLET
Yeah.
CJ
Besides, I understand you’ve got a big date tomorrow night.
BARTLET
I actually convinced her to let me out of the house for Valentine’s Day.
CJ
You’re taking her to the opera?
BARTLET
Mm, Verdi’s Otello. Romantic, huh?
CJ
Isn’t that the one where the guy kills his wife?
BARTLET (beat)
It’s in Italian, I’m hoping she won’t notice.
CJ
Are you sure you don’t want me to call Curtis?
BARTLET
I’m good. Night, CJ.
CJ
Night, sir. Get some rest.
BARTLET (as CJ exits into her office)
Yeah.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT
CJ walks to her desk then stops, considering something.
CJ
Margaret?
MARGARET (entering)
Yes?
CJ (sitting at her desk)
Will you ask Debbie to move the President’s wake up call back to 8:30?
MARGARET
Mm-hmm.
CJ
And I’d like to take a look at the President’s schedule for tomorrow.
MARGARET
Sure.
MARGARET exits. We hear TOBY and another man, LAWRENCE LESSIG, talking as they come into CJ’s office.
TOBY
And Shevardnadze just pulled the section on executive power?
LESSIG
Replaced it with his own. The old constitutional bait-and-switch.
CJ
Hello.
TOBY
CJ Cregg, I’d like you to meet Professor Lawrence Lessig.
CJ
Hi.
TOBY
He’s a constitutional writer, he’s helping the folks from Belarus write their constitution.
CJ
You would’ve thought they would’ve written one of those by now.
LESSIG
They have. It’s three lines pledging allegiance to the Supreme Soviet.
CJ
Hence the rewrite.
LESSIG
Hence.
BARTLET’s voice is heard as he calls out, on his way into CJ’s office.
BARTLET (entering)
CJ, you have a copy of the BLS mass layoff report I can read in the residence?
CJ
Sir …
TOBY
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Am I interrupting?
TOBY
Uh, sir, this is Professor Lawrence Lessig.
BARTLET
The Future Of Ideas? That Lawrence Lessig?
TOBY
He’s here to help with the Belarus constitution, he also helped with the Georgian constitution -
BARTLET
Founding father for hire - have quill, will travel.
LESSIG
No, no – no, no, the Belarusians will be the founding fathers. I’m more of a midwife.
BARTLET (shaking hands with LESSIG)
Well, it’s God work if you can help us bring some stability to that mess.
TOBY
Professor, maybe we should, uh -
CJ
Sir -
BARTLET
Where do you start a document of that importance?
LESSIG
Ah, I like to begin with a series of conceptual questions, and then proceed -
CJ
Excuse me, Professor Lessig, I’m sorry. This sounds fascinating, but the President really needs to get back to -
BARTLET
Oh, I think we can spare five minutes to discuss the roots of democracy, that is, if the professor has the time?
LESSIG
It would be an honor, sir.
BARTLET (leading LESSIG into the Oval Office)
Come then, let us sit as men do and discuss important things.
TOBY exchanges a glance with CJ as he follows.
BARTLET (exiting)
So what’s the latest in comparative constitutional theory? Is separation of powers still in vogue?
CJ checks her watch, tosses some papers on her desk and glumly follows the others.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. - CJ’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
A light switches on and we see CJ slowly walk into her bedroom.
12:15 AM
CJ tosses down her purse and collapses onto her bed. A dog barks in the distance. CJ turns and looks at the bedside clock, which reads 12:24. She closes her eyes. The clock changes to 12:25. The phone rings, jolting CJ awake. The clock now reads 3:45. CJ reaches out to answer the phone.
OPERATOR (on phone)
Ms. Cregg, this is the White House operator. I have an urgent call from Commander Harper.
CJ (into phone)
Go ahead.
We hear the call being connected.
CJ (into phone)
Tell me you’re calling about some guy you just met in a bar.
KATE (as the camera switches to inside the Situation Room; into phone)
A United Brittania flight from London to New Delhi went off radar over the Caspian Sea an hour ago.
CJ (on phone)
A commercial plane?
KATE (into phone)
About a hundred passengers. Mostly British and French.
CJ (back to her apartment; into phone)
How many - ?
KATE (on phone)
Six Americans.
CJ (on phone as we cut back to the Situation Room)
We think it was a crash?
KATE (into phone)
It’s too early to tell. The – plane was off course and drifting into Iranian airspace.
CJ (back to her apartment; into phone)
I’ll be right in. Can you transfer me back to the switchboard?
KATE (on phone)
Yeah.
We hear the call being connected.
OPERATOR (on phone)
Ms. Cregg?
CJ (into phone)
Let’s wake some people up.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT
4:55 AM
CJ is on the phone talking to the British Prime Minister.
CJ (into phone)
Yes, of course we understand – and this is a terrible tragedy, but … yes, Madam Prime Minister, but … (pause) Ma’am, we’ve had no indication the Iranians were involved. (beat) And I think it’s in all of our interests not to jump to conclusions.
CHARLIE enters.
CJ (into phone)
Yes, ma’am. (beat) Yes. (she hangs up)
CHARLIE
The British Prime Minister?
CJ
In all her glory.
CHARLIE
Funny, when I stopped working for the President, I thought I might start going home nights.
CJ
Well, at least you can’t complain you’re not getting overtime.
CHARLIE
You don’t pay me overtime.
CJ
Yeah. (as they both start walking down the hall) You wake up the guys at State?
CHARLIE
The Great Britain desk sent over some language for the condolence statement.
CJ
Good.
CHARLIE
And they suggested we invite the British Ambassador for breakfast.
CJ
Just what we need, more international intrigue.
CHARLIE
I thought you liked Lord John.
CJ
I adore Lord John, and when I was press secretary, I could adore him from afar.
CHARLIE (as CJ heads down a side hall)
You going to be in the Sit Room for a while?
CJ
Hoping to catch a ball game?
CHARLIE
Maybe a nap.
CJ
Call Barrow at State, set up some time with Chet.
CHARLIE
Chet?
CJ
He’ll know.
CUT TO: INT. - SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT
KATE and SECRETARY HUTCHINSON are talking and looking at a satellite graphic, a few military officers in the background.
KATE
Thirty minutes out of London, the flight was already six miles off course.
HUTCHINSON
We think they accidentally left the autopilot in heading mode.
KATE
You see the trajectory of the plane?
HUTCHINSON
Yeah.
CJ enters and walks up to them.
CJ
I just got off with the Prime Minister, they’re coordinating with the Ukraine on a search party in the Caspian, but she’s already pointing fingers.
KATE and HUTCHINSON exchange a look.
CJ
She pointing them for a reason?
There’s a slight pause.
HUTCHINSON
I’m sorry, are we waiting for the President?
CJ
No. Do we have any reason to believe the Iranians were involved?
KATE (beat)
We’ve been flying RC-135s off the northern coast of Iran.
CJ
Spy planes.
HUTCHINSON
Since last March. And the Iranian MTI that tracks the RC-135s produces very rough CAPI readouts.
CJ (to KATE)
English?
KATE
The United Brittania flight drifted into Iranian airspace on a track very close to our RC-135s’ flight path.
CJ
You think the Iranians mistook the flight for a US spy plane and they took a shot at it?
HUTCHINSON
It’s possible. The RC-135 is roughly the same size as a 737.
CJ
A 737 with a large dish on it.
KATE
A banner that says spy plane, but on a dark and stormy night -
CJ
We’re gonna have to find out what happened up there -
KATE
We’re talking to the Israelis. And Signals intel has a bunch of Iranian feeds from the time the plane went off radar, but, it’s going to take a while to translate.
CJ
I want updates every half hour.
CJ exits, KATE rising to follow her.
CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT
We see a custodian winding a clock in the hallway as CJ and KATE exit the Situation Room.
CJ
So the Iranians taking potshots at our spy planes, technically, that’s fair game.
KATE
Also we don’t let them hit us. Did the President get into it with Prime Minister Graty?
CJ
He wasn’t on the call. She got pretty hepped up all by her lonesome.
KATE
Well, State’s been conducting secret talks with the Iranians on their nuclear program.
CJ
We’ve been making progress.
KATE
It’s a fragile conversation. If Iran’s involved and Graty makes this a thing -
CJ
I put in a call to Chet. Do you find it odd calling a high-ranking Iranian official Chet?
KATE
Well, it’s easier to say than Asefi Hussein Kamal bin Hamid.
CJ
Man, I’m fried.
KATE
You up late last night?
CJ
Ten-part lecture on the future of democracy in Belarus.
KATE
Democracy – the last guy scrapped term limits and made his political opposition disappear. Literally.
CJ (walking away)
Why they’ve asked for help.
KATE
CJ? (CJ stops) … Prime Minister Graty, she tends to overreact.
CJ
She’s a runaway train.
KATE
The President usually likes a heads-up if there’s a chance she’s making decisions with international ramifications.
CJ (turning to leave)
He’ll be awake in a few hours, make sure I get those updates.
KATE
Yes, ma’am.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT
CJ is at her desk, with a TV news report playing nearby. MARGARET is gathering documents by the door. We hear the sound of the news anchor over the end of the previous scene, leading us into CJ’s office.
NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
… debris from what appears to be a commercial plane crash has begun to wash up in Astara, just north of the Iranian border …
CJ (to MARGARET)
You have my schedule?
MARGARET brings the schedule to CJ’s desk as the newscast continues.
NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
… officials fear this could be the wreckage of United Britannia Airlines flight 101 …
6:30 AM
CJ (looking at the schedule)
Yeah, we’re gonna need to pare this down. Get rid of my 10:30; have Charlie take the 12 o’clock with Karshner … please tell me this is a joke -
MARGARET
No, ma’am.
CJ
I’m meeting with Miss World?
MARGARET (nodding happily)
She’s from Bhutan. I have her bio, so you can be prepared.
CJ
For Miss World?
MARGARET
It’s a tradition. Every year the new Miss World comes in to lobby the White House.
CJ
On what?
MARGARET
AIDS in Africa, world hunger – she generally has a very good cause.
CJ
And she gets to meet with the Chief of Staff to the President of the United States?
MARGARET (beat)
Leo always thought that as a show of international good faith we should accord all due respect to -
CJ (standing to leave)
Pretty girls everywhere?
MARGARET
She’s a brilliant flautist.
CJ (exiting)
Get it off my schedule.
CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – NIGHT
As CJ passes the door to the Roosevelt Room she stops, seeing TOBY inside, at the table, studying a book. We can see the book is Constitutional Choices by Laurence H. Tribe.
CJ (entering)
You’re in early.
TOBY does not respond, still holding the book, rubbing his head.
CJ
Toby?
TOBY (looking up)
Yeah?
CJ
Whatcha doing?
TOBY
Reading.
CJ
Constitutional Choices …
TOBY
It’s amazing how tricky emergency powers are.
CJ
Okay.
TOBY
The executive in a young republic - you’re gonna need some type of emergency power, so do you write that in the constitution or does that lead to abuse?
CJ
Great. I really just came in because -
TOBY
See the predicament?
CJ
Toby.
TOBY
Right, we need to put out a, a, a condolence statement on the United Britannia crash – I’ll put Annabeth on it as soon as she gets in.
CJ (turning to leave)
Good. Charlie’s got some language from State.
TOBY
Building on a democracy. (CJ stops; TOBY chuckles) How do you shape a new world?
CJ
Right.
CJ exits.
CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – NIGHT
CJ walks from the hall up to MARGARET’s desk.
CJ
Have you reassigned Miss World?
MARGARET
Well, I thought maybe, I could -
CJ (writing on the schedule)
I’m sending Toby a Valentine.
KATE (walking up)
Excuse me – we just got a call from our base in Incirlik.
CJ
Okay.
KATE (handing some photos to CJ)
This is the satellite surveillance of the Caspian Sea from the time the plane went off radar.
CJ (paging through the photos)
And these are … ?
KATE
Two jets flying out of the Iranian air base in Rasht, on course to intercept the United Britannia flight.
CJ takes a breath.
CJ
Margaret, call the switchboard, ask them to wake the President.
CJ and KATE head into CJ’s office.
CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – DAY
CURTIS stands guard outside BARTLET’s bedroom door. CJ and KATE walk up to him.
CURTIS (turning to knock on the door)
Good morning, ma’am.
CURTIS opens the door and they enter the bedroom.
CURTIS
Mr. President?
BARTLET groggily turns in his bed as CJ, KATE, and CURTIS enter.
CJ
Good morning, sir.
BARTLET
Yeahhh … why are there three of you?
CJ
Mr. President, we think the Iranian Air Force mistakenly shot down a British commercial airliner.
CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY
BARTLET, CJ, and KATE are walking down the portico, then enter a doorway into the hall outside the Communications area.
7:30 AM
BARTLET
I need to speak with Prime Minister Graty.
CJ
Sir, I spoke to her earlier and asked her to wait for us before making a statement.
BARTLET
What’s Iran saying?
KATE
Not much.
BARTLET
I’m sure that’s going over well.
CJ
Intel’s working on the Iranian feed. Sir, if the Iranians were aiming at our plane, it at least provides some explanation for their actions.
BARTLET
We called Marbury?
CJ
Already on his way.
BARTLET
And we should call Chet.
CJ
Also on his way.
BARTLET
Dammit! We were just making progress with the Iranians. Graty gets revved up and starts quoting Churchill -
CJ
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
She gets aggressive, Iran gets defensive, this thing’s gonna spiral. I need to talk her down.
As they pass through the outer office and into the Oval Office, KATE’s attention is drawn to a TV news report.
BARTLET
Let’s get her on the phone!
KATE
Sir …
They all stop and turn to look at the TV. We see PRIME MINISTER GRATY making a live statement.
GRATY (on TV)
We condemn the attack by Iran against 109 innocent men, women, and children aboard an unarmed United Britannia plane. This is a barbaric, monstrous crime committed against Great Britain, against Europe, against the United States, against humanity. There can be absolutely no justification -
BARTLET (peeved)
Well, I guess I’ll have to wait until she’s off camera.
As the three enter the Oval Office, we hear GRATY’s words as the scene fades out.
GRATY (on TV)
It shall not stand.
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY
BARTLET is meeting with KATE and CJ.
8:05 AM
BARTLET
Have we heard anything from Prime Minister Graty?
KATE
Debbie’s still trying.
BARTLET
Are we talking with British Intelligence?
CJ
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
They must have had something they haven’t shared, or she wouldn’t have been getting all Hans and Franz in prime time. Where’s the latest report from Hutchinson?
CJ (bringing him a report)
It’s right here, sir.
BARTLET
Marbury on the way?
CJ
He’s on his way.
BARTLET
And the networks, we schedule time with the networks?
CJ
We should discuss whether that will be necessary -
BARTLET
It wasn’t an hour ago, but now that’s there’s been a ‘monstrous crime’ committed against Britain and the United States, I’m gonna have to say something. (picking up the phone) Debbie, is she on the phone yet?!
CJ
Thank you.
KATE
Thank you, sir.
CJ and KATE exit into CJ’s office.
CJ
I want an update from Hutchinson, and you should put in a call to Barrow – see where we are with Chet. And make sure Lord John hasn’t stopped for an eye-opener on the way from the British Embassy.
The camera pans down to reveal ABBEY sitting in CJ’s office, waiting for her. CJ gets to her desk, turns, and sees her.
CJ
Mrs. Bartlet.
ABBEY
Hello, there.
CJ
Did you just get in?
ABBEY (with more than a hint of sarcasm)
About a half an hour ago … around the time I noticed my husband wasn’t in bed. I checked the bathroom, the sitting room, he was nowhere to be found. I get a little nervous – my husband’s not the healthiest guy, you know. So I called Curtis. He tells me the President’s in the Oval. Can you imagine my surprise?
CJ
There was a development.
ABBEY
You do remember waking me at 4 am?
CJ
Ma’am -
ABBEY
I thought we agreed to let him sleep.
CJ
I let him sleep until I couldn’t let him sleep any more.
ABBEY pauses, stands, slowly walks to the desk.
ABBEY
How late was he up last night?
CJ (beat)
Ma’am, I let him sleep as long as I could.
ABBEY takes a moment, then slowly walks out of the office.
CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY
CAROL leads the Belarusian delegation into the room, where TOBY waits for them. As TOBY stands, CAROL makes introductions.
CAROL
Toby Ziegler … this is Alexander Zubatov, head of the delegation from the Republic of Belarus.
TOBY (shaking hands)
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
ZUBATOV
And, uh, we thank you for having us. (he gestures to the other seven members of the delegation, who bow and murmur greetings)
TOBY
Hi. (to CAROL) Could you check the lobby and see if you can find Professor Lessig?
CAROL (exiting)
No problem.
TOBY (gesturing to the chairs)
Please.
Some delegates takes their seats as TOBY moves back to his chair. He notices something ZUBATOV is holding.
TOBY
Is that a copy of our Constitution?
ZUBATOV
Yes. You know this document?
TOBY
Yes, I do.
ZUBATOV
I have many question.
TOBY
Well, that’s a good thing. Hopefully, over the course of the week, we can -
ZUBATOV
Uh, for example, it says here, President shall be commander of Army, Navy, et cetera.
TOBY
Ah. Yes.
ZUBATOV
Here … it says, uh, Congress shall have power to declare war.
TOBY
Yes.
ZUBATOV
Commander does not declare war?
TOBY
Theoretically, Congress needs to, uh -
ZUBATOV
Theoretically. So, your habit is to ignore document.
TOBY
No. (pause) Well, occasionally. (chuckles)
We hear LESSIG in the hallway, greeting someone with a “Good morning, how you doing?” TOBY starts out of the room.
TOBY
Excuse me.
As TOBY turns to the door, LESSIG enters.
LESSIG
Good morning.
TOBY
Morning.
LESSIG
Sorry I’m late, I was having breakfast with Justice Lang, and we got into the most fascinating discussion over the reformation -
ZUBATOV whispers to his delegation, who all stand.
LESSIG
- of the rule against perpetuities. Ah, I see we’ve got our noble patriarchs. Have you started?
TOBY
Well, I’ve been answering a few questions.
LESSIG
Excellent. Gentlemen, let’s begin.
Everyone (who has a chair) sits as LESSIG begins. MARGARET appears at the window, gesturing to TOBY. He tries to ignore her.
LESSIG
This week I hope to embark upon a conceptual journey into the world of democratic theory.
TOBY (standing, unable to ignore MARGARET any longer)
I’ll be right back. (to LESSIG) Excuse me, sorry.
LESSIG
I trust you’ve glanced at the preparatory materials -
MARGARET (as TOBY reaches the door)
She wants to see you.
TOBY (heading to CJ’s office)
You put a beauty queen on my schedule?
MARGARET
She did it.
TOBY (to CJ as he enters her office)
You put a beauty queen on my schedule?
CJ
The United Britannia flight was shot down by two Iranian fighters.
TOBY
On purpose?
CJ
We think it might’ve been a mistake. Kate’s gonna give you more, you need to brief.
TOBY
Okay.
CJ
And tentatively set up some time with the networks. Graty’s a little excited, he wants to distance himself.
TOBY
If he went on TV every time Graty blew a gasket -
CJ
Tentatively schedule. And Toby, in the briefing -
TOBY
‘Since the early hours of the morning, the President has done everything in his power to assist the British.’
CJ
Yeah, but don’t say ‘President.’
TOBY (beat)
‘The White House has done everything in its power’?
CJ
Yeah.
TOBY
It’s gonna make it sound like he got a good night’s sleep.
We hear the voice of LORD JOHN MARBURY calling from the hallway.
MARBURY
Gerald?
MARBURY walks down the hallway between CJ’s office and the Roosevelt Room.
MARBURY
Gerald? Gerald?
CJ
Good lord.
TOBY
CJ?
CJ (rising to go after MARBURY)
Toby, I gotta …
CJ catches up with MARBURY in the hallway.
CJ
Lord John?
MARBURY
Hello. Eh, you look familiar.
CJ
CJ Cregg, we’ve met a number of times.
MARBURY
Yes, yes, where’s Gerald? I do hope he’s recovered.
CJ
Leo has moved down the hall.
MARBURY
Oh, yes, I heard. Demoted on account of a heart attack. That’s cutthroat, even for American politics.
CJ
Actually, he’s been …
MARBURY
No, no, there’s no need to hedge. So you’re the … new Gerald.
CJ
I suppose.
MARBURY (holding out a hand)
Delightful.
CJ (shaking hands, gesturing toward the Oval Office)
If you’ll just …
CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY
BARTLET is on the phone with GRATY. KATE is listening in on another phone.
BARTLET (into phone)
Maureen, of course we support – (beat) Yes, but until we know all the facts – (beat) Yes, Madam Prime Minister. We’ll be in touch. Thank you.
9:15 AM
BARTLET and KATE hang up their phones.
BARTLET
So much for a stiff upper lip.
The door opens and CJ ushers in MARBURY.
CJ
Mr. President.
BARTLET
John, thank God. Kate Harper, may I introduce -
MARBURY
I’m Lord John Marbury, the, uh, hereditary Earl of Shelbourne, the great-great-grandson of the former Viceroy. I have served as the Queen’s Minister in India, the Queen’s Minister in Pakistan, and I am presently the British Ambassador to the United States. Oh, and I have an uncle who once performed in the London Opera Company’s production of The Mikado, in the role of Nanki Poo.
KATE (shaking hands)
It’s a pleasure.
MARBURY
Yes, isn’t it?
BARTLET
John, please, I’m afraid your Prime Minister is doing her William the Conqueror thing again.
MARBURY
Prime Minister Graty’s own party thinks she’s soft on Iran. Her government is far from stable, and we have just lost almost 100 countrymen – so, are you surprised?
BARTLET
Not at all, really. But we think this might have been a mistake.
BARTLET hands some documents to MARBURY, who looks at them.
MARBURY
They accidentally fired two Anab AA-3 missiles at the side of a passenger jet?
KATE
Lord Marbury -
MARBURY
Oh, please, uh … call me John.
KATE
Oh, John -
MARBURY
Yes.
KATE
- it’s possible the Iranians thought they were shooting at a US spy plane.
MARBURY (beat)
So it’s your fault.
BARTLET
John …
MARBURY
Have you been spying on their nuclear facilities?
BARTLET
Yes.
MARBURY
Why do you think they want you to stop? Either the Iranians deliberately killed innocent British and American citizens, or they tried to shoot down your spy plane because they want to continue building nuclear weapons. They are a rogue nation on the verge of becoming a rogue nuclear power, and while I, by no means, wish to trivialize the … most appalling loss of life earlier this morning – one need not reread Thucydides to see this as an opportunity.
CJ
She’s going to use this as an excuse to bomb their nuclear plants?
MARBURY
Heavens, no. Of course the Prime Minister must demand remuneration for the victims – perhaps a formal apology. Even some elegiac groveling.
BARTLET
We all know the Ayatollah will never pay, let alone apologize for anything.
MARBURY
Well, then we will be forced to take appropriate measures.
There is a pause as the clock ticks.
MARBURY (with a half-smile)
Will there be mimosas with breakfast?
CUT TO: INT. - PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY
Reporters shout questions as TOBY is at the podium.
REPORTER
Toby – will the President back the British if they respond with force?
TOBY
I’m not going to speculate.
REPORTER
If they need logistical support?
TOBY
I’m not going to speculate on Britain’s response. Gordon?
GORDON (another reporter)
What was the President’s reaction to Prime Minister Graty’s address?
TOBY
I haven’t discussed it with the President.
GORDON
Were we consulted before the Prime Minister’s address?
We go to ANNABETH’s office, where she is writing some notes while listening to the briefing on TV.
TOBY (on TV)
The White House has been working with the British since early this morning.
ANNABETH stops writing and notices TOBY’s choice of words.
GORDON (on TV)
But was there a call with the British Prime Minister?
TOBY (on TV)
I don’t have the details right now.
GORDON (on TV)
Well, when can we get the initial tick-tock?
ANNABETH jumps up from her desk and leaves her office.
TOBY (on TV)
I’ll get back to you -
And we return to the briefing room.
TOBY (starting to leave the podium)
- thank you.
STEVE (another reporter)
Toby, the Prime Minister’s address -
TOBY
I don’t have any more for you right now.
STEVE (chasing TOBY to the door)
Uh, she called it a monstrous crime, is that how the President -
TOBY
The President is scheduled to address the nation at 6:00. I’d tune in.
TOBY exits the briefing room, to find ANNABETH standing in the hall holding a candy heart.
ANNABETH
For you.
TOBY
Why?
ANNABETH (handing TOBY the candy)
It’s Valentine’s Day. Go ahead, they’re yummy. Hey, what’s the tick-tock?
TOBY
It’s a minute-by-minute accounting of the President’s actions, the press -
ANNABETH
Often asks for it during a crisis.
TOBY
If you know, why do you ask?
ANNABETH
‘The White House has been working with the British since early this morning’?
TOBY
Yeah?
ANNABETH
The President needs to look strong. The President needs to look like he’s up to this. ‘The President has been working with the British since early this morning.’
TOBY
I got it, I got it.
ANNABETH
Apparently not, or they wouldn’t have asked for the tick-tock.
TOBY (biting into the candy, then making a face)
Yeah.
ANNABETH
Good, huh? I’ve got more if you want, for your special someone.
TOBY
Excuse me?
ANNABETH (walking away, singing)
I like Bhutan in spring, how about you … ?
TOBY
I’m still meeting with the beauty queen?
ANNABETH
Oh, yeah.
TOBY tosses the candy away, then enters the Roosevelt Room as LESSIG speaks.
LESSIG
And we say the President is the sole representative of the people because while he is elected by electors, these electors are elected by the people – upon the premise that they will vote for him.
The Belarusians look skeptical, or confused.
LESSIG
I can go through it one more time if you’d like.
ZUBATOV
No. No.
TOBY (to MAN at the table)
Is he explaining the electoral college?
MAN
We’ve covered it in some detail.
LESSIG
Toby – we’ve been discussing the American executive. I’m sure you could shed some light.
TOBY
I was thinking maybe we should push beyond American-style government.
ZUBATOV
Push beyond?
TOBY
Yeah.
LESSIG
Mr. Zubatov has many questions.
TOBY
Yes, but, perhaps this time would be better spent discussing a parliamentary system.
BELARUSIAN DELEGATE 1
We don’t want parliamentary system.
TOBY
Okay -
ZUBATOV
No, no, no – President Eliches needs broad powers.
BELARUSIAN DELEGATE 2
Like American President.
TOBY
Sir, your country has a history of brutal dictatorship. I don’t think a, a strong executive is, is such a good idea.
ZUBATOV (to LESSIG)
You agree with this.
LESSIG
Mmm, not entirely.
TOBY (rolling his eyes)
Half the faculty at Yale Law describes the American Presidential system as one of this country’s most dangerous exports, responsible for wreaking havoc on over 30 countries around the globe, it is a recipe for constitutional breakdown.
LESSIG
Well. I can see this is going to be a vibrant discussion.
TOBY smiles in frustration.
CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – DAY
BARTLET, MARBURY, and KATE continue their discussion.
BARTLET
John, you can’t focus on the Ayatollah. President Alijani is a champion of reform.
11:15 AM
BARTLET
If our negotiations with Iran progress this time -
MARBURY
Alijani’s weak. And nonproliferation agreements won’t stop their efforts. It’ll just drive them underground. Bombing is the better solution.
BARTLET
The Iranians have spread out their nuclear facilities. We don’t even know where half of them are.
MARBURY
Well, we’ll bomb the half we can find.
ABBEY appears at the door. MARBURY spots her in delight.
MARBURY
Oh … Abigail! Blanket my loins, I’m, I’m tied to the stake.
BARTLET
Here we go.
ABBEY
Lovely to see you, John.
MARBURY
So many distractions, Mr. President. (looking at KATE) How do you get anything done?
BARTLET
God only knows.
ABBEY
Where’s CJ?
BARTLET
With Secretary Hutchinson.
ABBEY
May I have Kate for a minute?
ABBEY steps into the outer office. BARTLET gives KATE a nod, and she follows.
MARBURY
Tarry not long, gentle courtesan.
KATE looks behind her as she joins ABBEY in the outer office.
KATE
Did he just call me a -
ABBEY
Isn’t he delightful?
KATE
Yeah.
ABBEY
The President needs a break.
KATE
Okay.
ABBEY
He was up late last night, he was up early this morning – he needs a break.
KATE (checking her binder)
Well … we’ve got the French Ambassador and then the Iranians, but maybe after -
ABBEY
I mean now.
KATE (beat)
Maybe I should just check with CJ -
ABBEY
You could do that … or you could go back in there and get my husband.
KATE
Yes, ma’am.
KATE goes back into the Oval Office.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY
KATE is in a chair, trying to work, while MARBURY lounges on the sofa. He is reciting the Victorian-era poem A Birthday by Christina Rossetti.
11:45 AM
MARBURY
My heart is like a singing bird
Whose nest is in a water’d shoot;
My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thickset fruit;
Raise me a dais of silk and down …
A cell phone rings. KATE goes to answer it.
MARBURY
Hang it with vair and purple dyes -
KATE (into phone)
Kate Harper.
MARBURY
Carve it in doves and pomegranates -
KATE (a finger to her ear)
Sorry, can you repeat that?
MARBURY
And peacocks with a hundred eyes.
CJ appears in the doorway.
KATE (into phone)
Yeah – we’ll send it over right away, thanks.
KATE hangs up.
CJ
Um … hello.
KATE (under her breath)
Oh, thank God.
MARBURY
CJ – so good of you to return.
CJ
Where’s the President?
MARBURY
Apparently on recess. Uh, may I use your phone?
MARBURY starts to dial a phone on the end table.
CJ (to KATE)
He went back to the residence?
KATE
The First Lady wanted him to rest.
CJ
Yeah. I guess we can try to delay the French.
MARBURY is carrying on a telephone conversation behind KATE and CJ.
KATE
I’m sorry, should I have … ?
CJ
No.
KATE
Just … wasn’t quite clear on the chain of command.
CJ
Really, it’s fine. Margaret?
MARGARET (appearing at the doorway)
Yeah?
CJ
Can you find Charlie and see if Leo’s in yet?
MARGARET
Sure.
CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY
TOBY is pacing the room, with a cup of tea, talking to LESSIG and the Belarusian delegation.
TOBY
Slovakia, Slovenia … Bulgaria - they all chose parliamentary systems.
LESSIG
Hamilton, Madison, Jefferson … they all chose a presidential system.
TOBY
Only four presidential democracies have lasted longer than 30 years. Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison – they got lucky.
LESSIG (pointing to the delegation)
Well, they want a unifying national figure.
ZUBATOV
We need unifying figure.
TOBY
British Prime Minister is a unifying national figure.
ZUBATOV
Prime Minister Graty’s weak -
LESSIG
Subject to shifting coalitions -
TOBY
Subject to the people’s representatives, so she can be ousted – if she summarily starts locking people up who don’t like the White Album.
ZUBATOV
President Eliches is a good man, and he wouldn’t do this. He would create a stable environment for the new country.
TOBY
For the next ten years, yes … but (chuckles) this document isn’t about President Eliches, it’s about the 60 guys who come after him. You need systemic protections, safeguards that can last beyond a generation! You’ve gotta look beyond the moment, beyond the here and now.
A door opens behind TOBY. The Belarusians murmur and look on with great interest. TOBY turns to find ANNABETH and MISS WORLD in the doorway. MISS WORLD is wearing a stylish outfit, a tiara, and a sash reading ‘2004.’
ANNABETH
Your 12:30 is here.
The Belarusians smile and murmur some more. TOBY speaks uncomfortably.
TOBY (clears throat)
My, uh, t-, t- … 12:30 …
TOBY turns to go.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY
CJ is coordinating with CHARLIE. KATE is working at a table.
CJ (to CHARLIE)
I need you to take my 1:30 with Conrad and my 2:15 with Lauer.
CHARLIE
No problem.
As CHARLIE leaves, LEO comes in through the door.
LEO
You rang?
MARBURY, still on the phone on the sofa, notices LEO coming into the room.
MARBURY
I g- … uh … Gerald!
LEO (under his breath)
Sweet Lord in heaven.
MARBURY
It’s been too long!
LEO
Oh, I don’t think it has.
MARBURY (into phone)
One moment. (to LEO) I trust you’ve heard our news. Ohhh, terrible tragedy. But if it means that our paths may cross again, well, there is indeed some small consolation in that. (into phone) Yes …
CJ
Leo, I hate to pull you into this, but Toby’s plate is full and with Josh gone -
LEO
What do we got?
CJ
Well, the President’s in the residence, the Iranians are in the Mural, the French are at the gate, and then there’s Maude. (looking at MARBURY)
MARBURY (into phone)
The ball, as they say, is in your court.
LEO
I really can’t believe that we still let him in the building.
KATE
Tell me about it.
LEO
We have diplomatic relations with the Iranians now?
CJ
No, we have Chet.
LEO
Chet’s the new Phil?
KATE
Phil?
CJ
Chet’s the new Phil, but I was hoping you’d take the French, or you could … (looking at MARBURY again)
MARBURY (on phone)
Well, I’m not of that opinion, no.
LEO
Uh, French … are fine.
CJ
Excellent, you take the French, I’ll take Chet, and Kate can stay and entertain Lord Flibbertygibbet.
LEO
Good.
KATE
Not good!
CJ (as she and LEO exit)
Have fun.
MARBURY (into phone)
That’s your fault, not mine …
CUT TO: INT. - TOBY’S OFFICE – DAY
TOBY is sitting and having a conversation with MISS WORLD.
TOBY
So, you, you said you were from … ?
MISS WORLD
Bhutan.
TOBY
Uh-huh. I’m sorry, uh, uh, say that again?
ED and another staffer appear in the doorway. ED hands a folder to TOBY, but his eyes are on MISS WORLD.
ED
Toby, didn’t you ask for the … the Asian carp report?
TOBY
No.
ED
You sure?
TOBY
Pretty sure.
ED takes the folder back and takes a step towards MISS WORLD. TOBY stops him with a throat-clearing. ED and the other staffer exit.
TOBY
Uh, sorry, you were saying?
MISS WORLD
Yes, Bhutan. It’s just south of -
Now LARRY shows up in the doorway, holding a folder of his own, and staring at MISS WORLD.
LARRY
Toby, I brought you the latest, uh -
TOBY
Okay.
LARRY leans down to place the folder on the table in front of TOBY, his eyes still locked on MISS WORLD.
LARRY
Thanks.
As LARRY stands he turns his face to TOBY.
LARRY (whispering)
You’re the man.
LARRY backs out of the office, looking at MISS WORLD, who smiles after him.
TOBY
So – Bhutan. Just south of -
Next MARGARET appears at the door.
MARGARET
Hi.
TOBY
Hello.
MARGARET stands in the doorway, smiling at MISS WORLD.
TOBY
Do you need something?
MARGARET turns to TOBY and shakes her head.
MARGARET
Do you need something?
TOBY
No, good, thank you.
MARGARET (nodding)
Great.
MARGARET slowly backs out of the door, taking another look at MISS WORLD before she departs. TOBY smiles wryly.
CUT TO: INT. - PRESS CUBICLES – DAY
ANNABETH is singing to herself as she distributes Valentine’s candies to the reporters’ desks.
ANNABETH
You’rrrre myyyy - funny Valentine;
Sweet, comic – Valentine
You make me smile with my heart …
GORDON appears down the hallway.
GORDON
Annabeth!
ANNABETH
Happy Valentine’s Day!
GORDON
I’m still waiting for the tick-tock.
ANNABETH
Would you settle for a chocolate heart?
GORDON
Why wasn’t the President on the early call with Prime Minister Graty?
ANNABETH
So that would be a no?
GORDON
I got a tip from the Guardian he wasn’t on the call.
ANNABETH
Well, the British papers can be kinda dodgy.
GORDON (chuckling)
Is Toby around?
ANNABETH
He’s a little busy at the moment.
GORDON
Annabeth, if the President wasn’t up, the country has a right to know.
ANNABETH (holding up candy boxes)
I’ve got candy hearts.
GORDON
I can post this story with or without comment from the administration.
ANNABETH
Maybe now would be a good time to talk to Toby.
ANNABETH leads GORDON out of the cubicle area.
CUT TO: INT. - TOBY’S OFFICE – DAY
TOBY is still talking with MISS WORLD.
TOBY
No, I think large-scale s-, study of gene expression is a very noble cause.
ANNABETH leads GORDON into the office.
ANNABETH
Excuse us, I hate to bother you, but Gordon had a … (to MISS WORLD) oh, and this is – I’m sorry, I didn’t get your name?
MISS WORLD
Uh, Lynpo Palden Wangchuk.
ANNABETH
Right. This is Gordon, he’s a famous journalist from the Washington Post. In fact, Gordon has written some columns on the mapping of the human genome.
TOBY looks up in surprise. GORDON realizes MISS WORLD is in the room.
MISS WORLD
Oh, yes?
ANNABETH
And Miss … ?
MISS WORLD
Wangchuk.
ANNABETH
Wangchuk is very interested in microarray-based gene expression studies.
GORDON
Oh, really?
MISS WORLD
Well, yes, I think this research is quite important.
ANNABETH
Would you excuse us?
GORDON
Uh, sure, sure.
MISS WORLD
Yes, sure.
ANNABETH leads TOBY out of the office, as GORDON moves in to talk with MISS WORLD.
TOBY
What in God’s name - ?
ANNABETH
Gordon got a tip the President wasn’t on the early call with Graty.
TOBY
Okay.
ANNABETH
I figured we might want to stall him.
TOBY
And you really think that …
TOBY and ANNABETH see GORDON and MISS WORLD engrossed in conversation.
TOBY
Okay, it might work.
NANCY (who has been on the phone in the Communications bullpen)
Toby? I have the First Lady for you.
TOBY takes the phone from NANCY.
CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM – DAY
CHET is talking with CJ, with some other Iranians in the room.
1:40 PM
CHET
I mean, you have to control the British. They are jeopardizing more than just the nuclear talks.
CJ
They’re understandably upset.
CHET
Maybe. But with Graty’s saber rattling, even the educated are rallying around the Ayatollah. President Alijani is worried about the future of our reform movement.
CJ
Which is why the Ayatollah needs to apologize.
CHET
The President has been trying to reason with him, but with Graty’s threats, the Ayatollah can’t apologize. And really, why would he consider it?
CJ
Maybe to avoid compromising a potential relationship with the United States.
CHET
Did the United States apologize when the US Navy shot down Iran Air flight 655, killing 290 innocent people? (beat) And even if it were in his best interests, the Ayatollah’s a very proud man – especially when it comes to his Air Force.
CJ
You’ll do what you can.
CHET
I will try … but if you cannot control the British … (standing to leave) Miss Cregg.
CHET leaves with the Iranians, speaking in Farsi. LEO appears at the door.
LEO (entering)
Things went well with Chet, huh?
CJ
Yeah. How’d it go with the French?
LEO
Like talking to Madam Defarge.
CJ
The EU is scared to death of an Iranian nuke. Opportunity knocks.
LEO
Maybe we should just fall in line.
CJ
You’ve got to believe in the future of Iran, they’ve got garage-rock bands and pro-America rallies.
LEO
We play nice, democracy could be around the corner.
CJ
The reform movement has gained a lot of ground over the past ten years. Why do you think the Ayatollah’s refusing to budge? I mean, he can rebuild his nuclear plants, but the anti-Western sentiment it’ll generate if the RAF starts dropping bombs on Tehran …
LEO and CJ walk into the hallway, where they find TOBY.
TOBY
I just got a call from the First Lady, she wants to cancel the President’s address tonight.
CJ
Excuse me?
TOBY
She wants us to issue a statement instead, she thinks he’s not up to it.
LEO
That’s not her call.
TOBY
Pretty much what I said.
CJ
I’ll talk to her.
TOBY
Good.
LEO (noticing GORDON and MISS WORLD in TOBY’s office)
Is that the Miss …
TOBY
Yeah.
LEO (smiling)
I used to love this time of year.
CJ
Why is she with Gordon?
TOBY
He was asking for the tick-tock.
CJ
How long do you think we can -
TOBY
Annabeth thinks quite a while.
CJ
Keep me posted.
TOBY heads off as LEO and CJ continue down the hall.
LEO
So, Abbey’s been more involved since you got back from China?
CJ
Yeah.
LEO
Thank God for early retirement.
CJ
After China, Abbey and I met with the doctors. We came up with a plan. A full night’s sleep, a nap during the day, a way to manage things. Of course, getting him to cooperate is another story. I called Abbey last night. I thought we should wake him, but he’d been up till almost midnight and -
LEO
I always thought the wake up call was one of the hardest decisions to make. The President’s always going to want the call. But really – all you have to ask yourself at the end of the day is, would it have made a difference if he’d been awake?
CJ thinks for a minute, then they continue to her office.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY
KATE is watching a TV with MSNBC coverage of SENATOR VINICK on the campaign trail. As she watches, LEO and CJ enter the room.
VINICK (on TV)
It’s no surprise, Iran’s always been a problem. But this time they’ve painted themselves into a corner, and I urge the President to take all appropriate measures.
CJ
Easy for him to say.
KATE
Hey.
CJ
Where’s Lord John?
KATE
He lost interest, something about a Miss World?
BARTLET comes storming into CJ’s office.
BARTLET
Can you believe these people?
LEO
Which people would you be referring to?
BARTLET
Hoynes, Vinick, Walken – pick one.
LEO
All on the ‘Iran is evil’ bandwagon?
BARTLET
Apparently, when you’re campaigning for the American presidency, there’s no need for nuance.
LEO
It is a French word.
BARTLET
When are we meeting with the French?
CJ
Leo sat with them.
LEO
They’re on the bombing bandwagon, too.
BARTLET
When do we sit with Chet?
CJ
Didn’t have much luck there, either.
BARTLET (sternly)
You talked to the Iranians without me?
There is a pause. CJ and LEO exchange looks.
CJ
Kate, Leo, can I have the room, please?
KATE and LEO exit.
CJ
I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t raise your voice at me in front of the staff.
BARTLET (almost shouting)
I need to manage this crisis, I needed to be in those meetings.
CJ
We handled the meetings.
BARTLET (sarcastically)
Yeah, you’re right, I don’t think my presence would’ve added much.
CJ
You were up in the residence, sir – you were unavailable.
BARTLET
All I have in this situation is influence; influence and relationships. If you take those things away from me, I am powerless!
CJ
The Ayatollah is praying for rain. I’m not sure Mohammed himself could convince him to change his mind.
BARTLET
Do you know how many hours I have sat with the Iranians, with the French, with Prime Minister Graty? I put in my time, I built relationships with these people, so that I can know when they’re headed for the deep end and I can rein ‘em in, which is exactly what I would’ve done if I were awake this morning!
CJ
I doubt that, sir.
BARTLET stops in consternation.
CJ
From the moment that Iranian pilot pulled the trigger, Prime Minister Graty was writing speeches. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men weren’t going to keep her from opening her mouth. So no, had you been in London on her doorstep this morning, I don’t think you could’ve reined her in. And the funny thing is, sir, I’m pretty sure you don’t think you could have, either.
BARTLET looks at CJ for a moment, then turns and stalks into the Oval Office.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. - COMMUNICATIONS BULLPEN – DAY
ANNABETH is walking up to TOBY’s office, cellphone in hand. GORDON and MISS WORLD are still deep in conversation outside his office. TOBY comes out of his doorway.
ANNABETH (to GORDON and MISS WORLD)
Hey, how’s everybody doing?
GORDON
Fine. Fine.
ANNABETH
Great.
GORDON (to MISS WORLD as she shows him her tiara)
Go ahead, it’ll be a good time.
TOBY (to ANNABETH, as they walk out of the bullpen)
President’s speech is in the printer – (clears throat) assuming there is one. How are they? (referring to GORDON and MISS WORLD)
ANNABETH
Dandy. Don’t you just love Valentine’s Day?
ANNABETH heads off as TOBY walks to the Roosevelt Room, where the Belarusian delegation is finishing lunch, a map on an easel next to the table, conversation and collaboration everywhere.
LESSIG
Toby, good to see you. Grab a sandwich and listen in. I think I’m managing to pick up a few phrases. It’s not all that different from Polish, actually.
TOBY
Still on a lunch break.
LESSIG
Oh … they love the roast beef.
TOBY
You’re giving them a two-hour lunch after wasting the morning on a system of government that’s never going to work for these people?
LESSIG
I wouldn’t call it a waste.
TOBY
These guys have to walk out of this building on Friday with a set of laws to take back home to Minsk.
LESSIG
Not a set of laws, a sense of the rules of law.
TOBY (surprised)
You’re not planning on writing a constitution this week?
LESSIG
Are you familiar with Meyer vs. State of Nebraska?
TOBY
Nebraska passed a law making it illegal to teach anything other than English during World War I, Meyer wanted to teach German, Supreme Court said the law was unconstitutional.
LESSIG
Good. Now – where in the Constitution does it say you’ve got a right to teach German in school?
TOBY (beat)
You’re saying the document is irrelevant?
LESSIG
No … I’m saying the document is just the beginning. A constitutional democracy succeeds only if the constitution reflects democratic values already alive in the citizenry.
TOBY
Yes, but these Belarusians don’t have those values.
LESSIG
Which is why our most important job is to instill those values in their leaders, through discussion and debate.
TOBY
You’re talking about eight guys on a sightseeing trip to Washington. You think you teach democratic values to these eight guys, you’re gonna reverse 50 years of brutal dictatorship?
LESSIG (referring to some of the delegates)
Mr. Helakal was known as the only honest legislator in the government. Mr. Lipecki is the most respected judge in the country, and Mr. Zubatov, well … Mr. Zubatov is the editor-in-chief of Sovetskaya Belorussiya. His articles helped bring down the last dictator. How many guys do you think it takes?
TOBY takes a moment to consider.
CUT TO: EXT. - PORTICO – DAY
BARTLET comes out of the Oval Office and speaks to a Secret Service agent on guard outside the door.
BARTLET
Got a cigarette? (beat, as AGENT doesn’t respond) First Lady get to you?
AGENT
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Come on, cough ‘em up.
The AGENT reaches into his coat and hands a pack of cigarettes to BARTLET. BARTLET steps further onto the portico and prepares to light one, as LEO approaches.
LEO
Aren’t those bad for the MS?
BARTLET
You wanna play doctor, too? (irritated, throwing the cigarette into the grass) Suddenly I’ve got 17 nursemaids. She didn’t wake me up this morning.
LEO
Okay …
BARTLET
If I was awake this morning, I could have -
LEO
What? Prime Minister Graty thinks you’re an intellectual snob, a Yankee Doodle windbag. Likely as not, you would have made things worse.
BARTLET
If an American dies and there’s even the slightest suspicion of international intrigue, she’s supposed to wake me.
LEO
Since when? If I’d used that rule you’d be dead by now from sleep deprivation.
BARTLET
Damn it, Leo, five minutes ago you were telling me to leave it all out on the field, now you’re telling me to stay off it?
LEO
I’m telling you to let her do her job so you can do yours.
BARTLET looks at LEO for a moment, then heads back inside, leaving LEO on the portico.
CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – DAY
ABBEY is in the sitting room next to a large window, some reading materials on her lap. CJ approaches.
CJ
Excuse me – do you have a minute, ma’am?
ABBEY
I sent him back to work.
CJ
Yes, I saw him, thank you. (beat) Ma’am, I can’t have you confusing my staff.
ABBEY
Okay.
CJ
If you have a question, a concern, I need you to come to me.
ABBEY
What if I can’t find you?
CJ
Find me.
ABBEY
You gonna take away my key to the executive washroom, too?
CJ (beat, moving to sit)
Ma’am … I made a mistake this morning.
ABBEY
He needed to sleep.
CJ
Yes, I agree with you. Mm, the mistake was not making the decision on my own.
ABBEY
You can’t make these decisions by yourself.
CJ
I’m the Chief of Staff.
ABBEY
You’re not a doctor.
CJ
It’s not a medical decision, it’s a question as to whether the leader of this country needs to be informed about something that puts the country’s citizens in jeopardy. What he does with that information, how he manages his disease, those are his decisions.
ABBEY (beat)
He was up until midnight. He’s not managing his disease.
CJ (beat)
You’re gonna have to take that up with him, ma’am.
CJ’s pager beeps. She checks it.
CJ (rising to leave)
I’m sorry. Excuse me.
CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT
BARTLET is going over some papers with CJ, KATE and HUTCHINSON waiting in the background, along with another OFFICER. There is a knock at the door.
BARTLET (as MARBURY enters)
John … thanks for sticking around.
MARBURY
No trouble at all, really.
5:00 PM
BARTLET
We’ve translated two radio transmissions from before the incident that we’d like to share with you.
MARBURY
By all means.
HUTCHINSON
At 0230 Greenwich Mean Time we believe this is an Iranian fighter calling in to military radar ground control in Rasht.
HUTCHINSON indicates to the OFFICER to play the tape. He presses a button on an audio device. We hear the pilot speaking in Farsi on the recording.
OFFICER (translating)
Unable to establish visual contact with RC-135. Hailed on military channels. No response, please advise.
The OFFICER stops the tape.
BARTLET
They thought it was our plane.
HUTCHINSON
Here’s the response at 0233.
The OFFICER plays another recording, translating again.
OFFICER (translating)
Iranian Air Defense Command radar signal confirms aircraft as US RC-135. You are instructed to fire.
The OFFICER stops the tape.
MARBURY
Well, this is all very lovely indeed, but I’m not sure how it changes anything.
BARTLET
Damn it, John, the reform movement in Iran has real promise. Demographics are on our side.
MARBURY
Yes, you’ve been making that argument for some time, now.
BARTLET
You’re gonna drive the Iranian people right back into the arms of the hard-liners.
MARBURY
The Iranians have a ballistic missile that reaches 2000 kilometers. That’s half the distance to London. And they’re making improvements – to their weapons technology, to their already formidable Air Force. How long do you think we can wait for democracy to sweep through Tehran? Five years? Ten years? Would you bet your capital on it?
CJ
We threaten to make this public. We call an emergency meeting of the Security Council, tell them we’re going to play the intercepts.
MARBURY
The intercepts prove that the Iranian Air Force shot down our plane. The Prime Minister won’t budge.
CJ
Not the Prime Minister, the Ayatollah. The Iranian Air Defense Command couldn’t tell the difference between a commercial airliner and a spy plane. It’s a little embarrassing.
KATE
For a man who’s proud of his air force.
CJ
We let the Ayatollah know what we have, odds are, he jumps at the chance to apologize for the actions of a rogue pilot rather than humble Iranian Air Defense Command. And if they issue even a vague apology …
MARBURY
Mr. President … Jack Stanley and his fiancee perished in that plane last night. Nicholas Ashe and his three small children. He was a Fellow at Oxford. The list goes on – but the casualties are nothing compared with what might happen should Iran successfully develop a nuclear weapon. They have over a hundred nuclear facilities. So it’s not a matter of three or four bombs, it’s a matter of three or four hundred, and this regime will not be afraid of selling to the highest bidder.
BARTLET considers this, looks at CJ, then stands and heads for his desk. At last, he speaks.
BARTLET
Kate, set up the meeting with the UN. And have Chet get word to the Ayatollah he can apologize now or after he reads about it in the Times.
KATE (exiting)
Yes, sir.
MARBURY
You do realize the Ayatollah will be embarrassed and weakened. He’ll do nothing but redouble his nuclear efforts.
BARTLET
Diplomacy, John. The job of statesmen.
MARBURY
And I thought it was drinking and dancing.
CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT
TOBY walks out of the Roosevelt Room as CJ comes down the hall behind him.
6:00 PM
CJ
Tell the networks they can have their time back.
TOBY
The Iranians are apologizing?
CJ
Let’s work on a statement for tomorrow’s papers. Where are we with Gordon?
TOBY leads CJ to the doorway of the Communications bullpen, where GORDON and MISS WORLD are still talking.
CJ
And I always looked down my nose at beauty pageants.
TOBY
You know, we should at least consider -
CJ
Yeah, give him the tick-tock. Tell him the Prime Minister was a courtesy call – I wasn’t sure Iran was involved, I didn’t think we needed to wake him. Just because the public thinks the President’s supposed to be up, doesn’t mean he’s supposed to be up.
TOBY
You know what the story’s gonna be?
CJ
They’re gonna be writing MS stories until the end of this administration. Give him the tick-tock.
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT
CJ enters her office and goes to her desk. BARTLET comes to the doorway from the Oval Office.
BARTLET
So maybe we should cancel the address.
CJ
I took care of it. Iran’s apologizing, Britain’s backing down, there’s no need for you to distance yourself from Graty. (beat) You’ve gotta trust me to make these decisions or there’s no point in having me in this job.
BARTLET
Yeah.
CJ
I spoke to Mrs. Bartlet. From now on, I’ll be making the wake up calls on my own. And your MS won’t be a factor in my decision.
BARTLET
Thank you.
CJ
Sir … these international crises drag on for days, one rolls right into the next. You need to take care of yourself, because there are going to be mornings when I’m gonna have to wake you up at 3:00 am.
BARTLET slowly walks back into the Oval Office.
CJ
Good night, sir.
BARTLET
Night.
As BARTLET walks into the Oval Office, he finds an envelope on his desk. As he opens it, ABBEY appears behind him near the fireplace.
ABBEY
Happy Valentine’s Day.
BARTLET (taking a card out of the envelope)
That what you’re wearing to the opera?
ABBEY
You have a 7:00 am call in the morning. I canceled the opera.
BARTLET
The whole opera?
ABBEY
No - just the part where we give the usher the tickets, and -
BARTLET (shouting)
Damn it, Abbey, I can manage my health without you taking my pulse every five minutes!
ABBEY
Is that what you were doing when you decided to stay up gossiping with the children last night?
CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT
CJ is working at her desk. We can hear the developing fight inside the Oval Office through the open door.
BARTLET (VO)
I was talking to Professor Lessig!
ABBEY (VO)
Oh, shove it, Jed - ‘It’s my disease, it’s my health, I can handle it’ - the hell you can!
CJ stands up and walks to the door.
ABBEY (VO)
You think you can run this country on four and a half hours sleep with MS? You’re out of your mind.
CJ closes the door. We can still hear the voices, just a little less loud.
BARTLET (VO)
Stop treating me like a child.
ABBEY (VO)
Then stop acting like one.
CJ returns to her desk.
ABBEY (VO)
Where would you be right now if I …
The voices trail off indistinctly, but we – and CJ – can still hear the fight continue, as CJ continues to work.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x14 – The Wake Up Call
Original Airdate: February 9, 2005
Thursday, April 16, 2026
THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: The Wake Up Call (S6E14)
Sunday, April 5, 2026
THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: King Corn (S6E13)
THE WEST WING
6x13 - “KING CORN”
WRITTEN BY JOHN WELLS
DIRECTED BY ALEX GRAVES
Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)
TEASER
KING CORN
Patsy Cline’s ‘Walking After Midnight’ plays as we FADE IN on a montage of restaurant and hotel signs, many of them emblazoned with ‘Welcome Iowa Corn Growers.’
CUT TO: EXT. - SNOWY CITY STREET – NIGHT
A car pulls up outside a Holiday Inn.
CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA
DONNA gets out of the car. The driver, TREVOR, gets out to help with her suitcase.
TREVOR
You gonna need me in the morning?
DONNA
I’ll call Mindy if I do.
TREVOR
Okay.
DONNA
Thanks.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT
DONNA walks up to the front desk, dragging a suitcase behind her.
DONNA
Hey – anything for 412?
WEDNESDAY 12:55 AM
DESK CLERK (handing DONNA a long FedEx package)
Mr. Bailey is still in the cafe.
DONNA
Thanks. Good night.
DESK CLERK (as DONNA heads to the cafe)
5:45 wake up call?
DONNA
Yeah, or you could just have someone come to my room and hit me over the head with a mallet or something.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CAFE – NIGHT
WILL is having a strategy session with a large group of staffers. DONNA walks up to join them.
WILL
We got a name for the hog roast yet?
CHRISTINE
Um, Pig Out with Bob?
ROGER (to DONNA)
Hey, how was South Carolina?
DONNA
Southern.
WILL
How’d the donor conferences go?
DONNA
Heard a couple hundred ideas about how Democrats can take back the South and scooped up the checks.
ROGER
Don’t be a tease …
DONNA
Half a million.
ROGER
Wow!
WILL
Hey, nice!
DONNA
When’s the VP coming in?
ROGER
Air Force 2 is wheels down at 9:30.
DONNA (to WILL)
Where do you want me?
WILL
We need to pack the stage for Thursday’s debate with five or six fringe candidates, Christine’ll help you.
STAFFER (handing some papers to WILL)
Here you go, Will.
CHRISTINE
We’ve got, uh, two recently released federal inmates, an airline mechanic, two men over the age of 80, comedian, a nun -
ROGER
Don’t forget Jennifer James.
WILL, CHRISTINE, and ROGER talk over one another.
CHRISTINE
One guy’s entire platform -
WILL
Porn star.
ROGER
That girl’s got talent.
CHRISTINE
- is, uh, -
WILL
And stamina.
CHRISTINE
- tax cut for anyone who adopts a pet and has them neutered.
DONNA
And why do we want them in the debates, aside from, you know, the neutering thing?
WILL
Hoynes was hoping to be alone on that stage with the VP. The more wackos we put around him, the more Hoynes looks like just another clown. (to all) Okay, morning staff at 6:30.
CHRISTINE, ROGER and the other staffers get up to head to their rooms. DONNA moves into the booth across from WILL.
WILL
How was it?
DONNA
Good. Pool in Charleston was nice.
WILL
You had time to swim?
DONNA
No, but it looked nice. We really going to call them Bob’s Boulders?
WILL
They keep signing those checks, I don’t care if they call themselves the Flying Wallendas. Half a million – not bad for two days of rolling with the Boulders. (getting up to leave) Night.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT
DONNA walks past a sign reading ‘JOHN DEERE WELCOMES IOWA CORN GROWERS’ as she heads to the elevator. We hear the Johnny Cash song ‘Green, Green Grass of Home’ playing on the hotel speakers. DONNA steps inside the elevator and pushes the button for the 4th floor. As the door nearly closes, JOSH rushes up outside and tries to get his arm in before it shuts.
JOSH
Uh, can you hold the elevator?
DONNA (from inside, as the door stops and opens again)
I’m sorry, I didn’t …
JOSH (speaking into his cell phone)
Yeah, uh, if we can’t afford at least 200 points out of Boston, we gotta find another way -
JOSH enters the elevator and realizes it’s DONNA inside.
JOSH (into phone)
Stuart, will you, uh, call me back in five? Thanks. (he hangs up)
DONNA
I’m sorry, I couldn’t find the button.
JOSH
No … uh, will you hit four?
DONNA points at the indicator, with the light for the 4th floor already lit. The door closes and the elevator goes up. JOSH and DONNA stand uncomfortably quiet, Johnny Cash singing in the background. JOSH finally speaks.
JOSH
Just get back?
DONNA
Yeah. South Carolina.
JOSH
How’s it going for you guys down there?
DONNA
We’re closing in on Hoynes. (pause) You?
JOSH
We’re focusing on New Hampshire right now.
Another uncomfortable silent pause as the elevator continues. Finally the bell dings and the door opens, and JOSH and DONNA both rush out. As they turn to go down the same hallway, they both stop and look at one another. They then continue side-by-side.
JOSH
So, where did you stay? In South Carolina?
DONNA
Marriott. Charleston.
JOSH
Oh, they got that nice-looking pool.
DONNA steps ahead of JOSH and reaches her room, 412. As she picks up an envelope outside her door, JOSH stops at the door directly across the hall and picks up an envelope as well. They both take out their key cards to go inside their rooms.
DONNA
So … good night.
JOSH
Yeah. See you.
DONNA gets her door open, then sees JOSH having trouble getting his key card to unlock his door.
DONNA
You’re doing it too fast.
DONNA crosses the hall to help JOSH.
JOSH
I get, I get frequent flier miles every time I swipe …
DONNA swipes the key card and the door opens. She hands the card back to JOSH and he enters the room.
JOSH
So much for the Bermuda trip.
DONNA gives JOSH a look as she goes into her room.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
JOSH tosses his bags down, sitting on his bed and scratching his head. He thinks a moment.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL HALLWAY – NIGHT
JOSH’s door opens and he strides across the hall. He is about to knock on DONNA’s door when he stops himself. He stands there – then he hears his own door close and lock behind him. He slowly walks back to his door; he swipes his key card too quickly a couple of times, then tries more slowly. The door unlocks and he goes back inside. We see him put the ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign on the door handle and he closes the door as we hear ‘Green, Green Grass of Home’ end.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***
ACT ONE
FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY
A telephone is ringing. We see DONNA, asleep in her bed, the phone ringing next to her. She groggily reaches over and grabs the handset.
DONNA (into phone)
Yeah?
RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.
DONNA hangs up the phone and turns on the lamp.
WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM
DONNA pulls on a sweater and turns on the TV. As we see her prepare for the day – getting her freshly charged cell phone, wearing socks and moving a towel under her feet on the bathroom floor, brushing her teeth, starting a pot of coffee, turning on the shower – we hear the TV news anchor.
NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. She’s been sentenced to death for her crime. The conviction of the young woman comes at a precarious time for Turkey, who has, until recently, enacted reforms aimed at preparing the country for European Union membership. However, EU officials say the execution of Miss Farkula would be a major obstacle to Turkey’s future inclusion in the EU. Meanwhile, Bartlet administration officials stressed that, while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward, the United States remains committed to strengthening ties with Turkey.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
A chaotic scene of Russell staffers talking at desks crammed into a hotel conference room, maps of Iowa and whiteboards hanging on the wall, phones ringing. WILL is there, and DONNA, too, both on cell phones. ROGER is trying to make some announcements.
ROGER
American Legion pancake breakfast, followed by brief remarks at the opening of the new field office in Des Moines -
CHRISTINE (walking in with some papers)
It’ll be five degrees with wind chill.
ROGER
- bus ride to Centerville, then on to the Iowa Corn Growers speech.
CHRISTINE
Where are we on the ethanol speech?
WILL
VP loves ethanol, showers in it every morning.
CHRISTINE
Comment on Turkey?
WILL
What’s the President saying?
DONNA
‘Saddened, committed to strengthening ties.’
CHRISTINE
Saddened? They’re going to behead her for sleeping with a co-worker.
WILL
Who’s got the wonderful world of corn?
HOWARD (another staffer)
That’d be me. Iowa Corn Growers’ Expo is a nonpartisan event, sponsored by the Iowa Farm League.
STAFFER
Nonpartisan? What’s that?
HOWARD
Well, the Expo offers an excellent opportunity to address farmers, corn growers, crop consultants, and seed corn reps on a variety of issues, including the economy, farm subsidies, trade, biotechnology, ethanol, and an alternative fuel.
ROGER
Now, we’re sure Hoynes is going to flip?
WILL
Believe me, Hoynes is taking the ethanol pledge. This is a guy who, if he was speaking to a group of cannibals, would promise them missionaries.
ROGER
Think we’ll be able to find some corn?
HOWARD
Corn fritters, corn pudding, corn flambe, corn souffle, Creole corn, country-fried corn, peanut butter corn cakes, and Huitlacoche – it’s a, like a corn smut, a sweet corn fungus, they give it to pigs in the States, it’s actually a delicacy in South America.
WILL
Well, no need to stop for lunch today, everybody fill up on corn smut at the Jefferson Cow Barn. (standing up and announcing to the room) All right, five days till the caucuses, 19 days to New Hampshire …
The staffers start to rise and put on their coats.
WILL
Donna, Christine … you two heading out on your, uh, ‘Beyond The Fringe’ world tour?
DONNA
First stop, Peter Burton, he wants the military to occupy our schools to prevent gun violence.
WILL
M1 Abrams tank seems like a worthwhile truancy deterrent.
HOWARD
Hundred and twenty millimeter cannon’d blow the training wheels right off any tardy sixth-grader’s bike.
CHRISTINE
Tough on cafeteria linoleum.
WILL (to DONNA)
Hey, swing by the Expo, Bob’ll want to thank you for looking at that pool.
CUT TO: EXT. - RURAL HIGHWAY – DAY
A car is traveling down a two-lane rural highway through the fog. As we hear DONNA speak, we cut inside the car. DONNA is riding in the front seat, CHRISTINE in the back. TREVOR is driving.
DONNA (VO)
We can skip this next one, he went to a federal prison for three years for refusing to pay income tax.
CHRISTINE
You ever been to one of these crazy caucuses, Trevor?
TREVOR
Yeah, my, uh, grandmother runs one down at her church every four years.
CHRISTINE
You don’t think it’s weird your out-of-the-way, nickel-and-dime, penny-ante state gets to go first?
TREVOR
Well, we, we always go first.
CHRISTINE
Yeah, and why is that?
DONNA
Iowa’s first because it’s first.
CHRISTINE
Says who?
DONNA (looking at her files)
We should check this Craig guy out.
CHRISTINE
So you don’t think Californians should get to meet the candidates down at the Barstow Dairy Queen?
TREVOR
We’re not a bunch of politically spoiled farm hands. Look, we take the responsibility of screening the Presidential candidates for the rest of the nation very seriously.
CHRISTINE
Guy wins Iowa, all it means is he’s learned how to speak intelligently about soybeans and farm implements.
TREVOR (to DONNA, nodding out the window)
Here we are, this is the, Burtons’ right here …
The car turns off the highway onto a gravel driveway, past a mailbox with BURTON scrawled on it. The driveway is blocked by a chain with a sign hanging on it. The sign reads:
Screw The Dog! THIS PROPERTY PROTECTED BY SMITH & WESSON
with a depiction of a hand holding a revolver pointed at the reader.
CHRISTINE
Maybe we should’ve called first.
CUT TO: INT. - RUSSELL CAMPAIGN BUS – DAY
After a shot of the bus rolling down a divided highway with a police escort, we go inside to see WILL meeting with VICE PRESIDENT RUSSELL in the back of the bus, as ROGER and other staffers work in the front of the bus. RUSSELL is putting on a tie.
WILL (VO)
Good flight in?
RUSSELL
Uh, slept. First stop’s a pancake breakfast? I love pancakes.
WILL
The Sun-Times wants a statement on farm subsidies.
RUSSELL
Uhhhh, the family farm is the backbone of America.
WILL
Think they were looking for something a bit more substantial.
RUSSELL
Well, what do they expect, I’m going to come out against farm subsidies in Iowa? Oppose manhole covers in Manhattan?
WILL
We’ll give them the boilerplate.
RUSSELL
It’s a tragedy about that woman in Turkey. We issue a statement?
WILL
You deplore it.
RUSSELL
That’s good to know.
WILL
And you support President Bartlet’s efforts to strengthen ties with an important regional ally. This morning’s finance report - $8.2 million, cash in hand.
RUSSELL
That ought to buy a few more lawn signs.
WILL
And the lawns to go with them.
ROGER (leading RUSSELL to the front of the bus)
Got a minute for some donors? Irwin Drucker and his wife, Eileen, have a daughter, Susan, at LSU. Peter Mosby, he’s in insurance -
We see WILL watching as we hear RUSSELL offscreen.
RUSSELL (VO)
Uh, sorry I got stuck in the back talking to the White House. Irwin, Eileen, how’s your daughter Susan doing at, uh, LSU?
CUT TO: INT. - FARMHOUSE – DAY
DONNA and TREVOR are talking to a MR. EDGARS, in a wood-paneled room with shotguns, hunting trophies, and stuffed animal heads everywhere. A large sign over the fireplace reads:
EDGARS
The Friendly Fascist.
A Tyrant You Can Trust!
DONNA
Mr. Edgars, uh, your platform would allow all citizens to carry a concealed weapon?
EDGARS
Not allow. Require.
DONNA
And you don’t think that might lead to, well, anarchy?
EDGARS
What we got now is anarchy. An armed citizenry will take back our cities, our parks, our schools, and our highways.
CUT TO: INT. - ANOTHER FARMHOUSE – DAY
DONNA, CHRISTINE, and TREVOR are watching another fringe candidate, a MR. CONNORS, playing his guitar and singing an upbeat version of ‘Peace Train.’
CONNORS (singing)
How I been happy lately, thinking ‘bout days to come
And I believe it could be something good has begun
Oh, peace train – sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Peace train, take this country
Take me home a-gain.
CUT TO: EXT. - OUTSIDE RUSSELL CAMPAIGN BUS – DAY
RUSSELL and WILL are returning to the bus from the pancake breakfast.
RUSSELL
You try those pepper sausages? Damn, those things were hot. Somebody get me a quart of milk and a bucket of sand.
ROGER meets RUSSELL at the door of the bus.
ROGER
Paul Durett and his wife, Mimi; Sam Skok and his son, David.
RUSSELL (stepping onto the bus)
Hey, y’all – I’m just going to step back, take my coat off, I’ll be right back. Roger, uh, make sure everybody’s got something to drink, all right?
WILL follows RUSSELL as they head into the back of the bus.
WILL
You get a chance to look at the ethanol speech on the plane?
RUSSELL
Yeah, seems fine. Who else is speaking?
WILL
Hoynes before you, Clarkson and Santos after you, the Republicans go tonight.
RUSSELL
You think Arnie’s gonna say ethanol’s a colossal waste of the taxpayers’ money? (to staffer) Thanks, Shelley.
WILL
Vinick’ll flip. Has to.
RUSSELL (sighs)
I was in the Senate last time he made his anti-ethanol speech. Whew. It was passionate. Had it been a tie, I’m not sure what I would have done.
WILL
Voted ‘aye,’ if you ever wanted to run for national office again.
RUSSELL
I think ethanol passed something like, 82 to 18.
WILL
I’m surprised there were 18 Senators with no Presidential ambitions.
RUSSELL
Do you really think Vinick can wriggle out from under his ethanol record?
WILL
He’ll wiggle. He’ll squirm, but he’ll say as Senator he voted against it ‘cause it wasn’t good for California, as President he knows it’s good for the country.
RUSSELL
He’ll pull a groin muscle reaching around behind him to pick up that one.
WILL (looking at campaign papers)
Mmm, Majority Whip is positioning on Third Circuit nominees again.
RUSSELL
No, Vinick’s not wrong about ethanol – it takes more oil to transport it and fertilize it than we save using it.
WILL
Sir, you’re not considering changing the speech -
RUSSELL
Was it Paul and Mandy?
WILL
Paul and Mimi, son David.
RUSSELL and WILL head back to the front of the bus.
CUT TO: EXT. - MUDDY FARM LOT – DAY
DONNA is standing in the mud, chickens clucking nearby, as she talks to another candidate, MR. JOHNSON, who is carrying a bucket of feed across the lot.
DONNA
Mr. Johnson, your platform would include paying the President, the Cabinet, and all members of Congress a salary of one dollar a year?
JOHNSON
Hell, yeah. Make ‘em get a real job.
DONNA
And you want to, ban motorcycle helmets, color television, drop out of the UN, abolish Medicare, and totally privatize Social Security?
JOHNSON
We got to get the government out of our damn pockets!
DONNA
Sir, are you – sure you’re a Democrat?
CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY
We see a shot of the Russell campaign bus driving into the loading dock area of the cattle barn arena, police escort and all.
JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA
RUSSELL and WILL and the other staffers step off the bus.
WILL
We’re going to need some time after the trip tonight for debate prep, the Black and Brown’s coming up.
RUSSELL
Do I really have to go to that?
WILL
It’s an Iowa tradition.
REPORTER (shouting)
Mr. Vice President, one question -
WILL and RUSSELL continue down a back hallway.
RUSSELL
It’s not a fair fight – Atkins and Santos get to stand up there, holier than thou, rail against racial injustice while the rest of us loiter around looking like those two albino twins from The Matrix.
WILL (as they pass DONNA and CHRISTINE in the hallway)
Sir, Donna Moss is here, South Carolina fundraising -
RUSSELL (to DONNA)
Donna, great job on the Carolina trip. Keep those Boulders rolling.
DONNA
Thank you, sir. (to WILL) We can’t put these fringe candidates on stage with serious candidates. We’ve got a, fascist who was arrested for brandishing a rifle and calling for the overthrow of the republic; a delusional preacher; a guy who just needs a job; and a refugee from the New Christy Minstrels.
WILL (reading a note to RUSSELL)
Freight train derailed in Baton Rouge, big chemical spill and fire. They’re going to have to evacuate a 20-square-mile area.
RUSSELL
Any fatalities?
WILL
Leveled a couple of city blocks.
RUSSELL takes a moment to react to that, then ROGER appears from the stage area.
ROGER
They’re ready for you, sir.
WILL
We’re set on this ethanol speech?
RUSSELL
Don’t worry. I’m not suicidal. I’m gonna, take the pledge.
ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Vice President of the United States.
RUSSELL
I was thinking about throwing in a little something about, uh, drastically reducing sugar subsidies, though.
WILL smiles and applauds as RUSSELL takes the stage, decorated with hay bales and a large IOWA CORN GROWERS EXPO sign.
DONNA (to WILL)
We can’t give these fringe people a megaphone, they’re lunatics. It’ll be a circus without the jugglers.
RUSSELL (onstage)
Thanks for that welcome. Now I’m not saying this just because I’m in Iowa. I say this everywhere I go – we need more ethanol production.
There is a wave of applause.
WILL (to DONNA)
It’s not already a circus?
RUSSELL (onstage)
When I was in Congress, I voted to subsidize …
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY
We hear a telephone ringing. JOSH is in bed, his head under the pillow. He groggily reaches out to answer the phone.
JOSH (into phone)
Hmm .. mmmm …
RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.
JOSH (into phone)
Thank you.
He hangs up the receiver.
WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM
Much as we saw with DONNA earlier, we see JOSH getting up and ready for the day. He switches on the TV and we hear much the same news report we saw DONNA listening to. JOSH puts on socks after tiptoeing in his bare feet on the cold bathroom floor, uses the toilet, starts the coffee maker, works on his laptop – as we see the coffeepot overflowing over the bathroom counter and onto the floor. JOSH holds a cup of coffee as he watches the end of the news report.
NEWS ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. She’s been sentenced to death for her crime. In the most recent attempt to revamp Turkey’s 78-year-old penal code, members of the ruling Justice Development Party approved yesterday a controversial amendment criminalizing adultery. Leaders expressing concern that the country’s laws might be moving closer to Islamic law. The conviction of the young woman comes at a precarious time for Turkey, who has, until recently, enacted reforms aimed at preparing the country for European Union membership. EU officials say the execution of Miss Farkula would be a major obstacle to Turkey’s future inclusion in the EU. Bartlet administration officials stressed that, while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward, the United States remains committed to strengthening ties with Turkey.
CUT TO: INT. - SANTOS HOTEL ROOM – DAY
The Santos children are watching cartoons on TV as HELEN gives them some breakfast.
DAFFY DUCK (on TV)
Hankering for trouble, eh?
HELEN (handing her daughter a bowl of cereal)
Okay, you guys – I’m just gonna be right next door, all right?
DAFFY DUCK (on TV)
I would like to introduce myself: Zip-along Daffy …
HELEN leaves the kids and heads into the connecting room, which is abuzz with activity with RONNA, NED, JOSH, MATT and other staffers working feverishly.
RONNA
At 10:00 we tour the Todd family orchard in Ames, press cider and talk about agricultural policy with local farmers, followed by a photo op in Audubon with Albert, world’s largest bull -
MATT (to HELEN)
Campaign’s full of metaphors, isn’t it?
JOSH (into phone)
Yeah, Josh Lyman for Teddy Eagle -
MATT (to NED)
Say, Ned – did Andreas send over the, uh, markups on the dispersal?
NED
Yeah.
MATT
I want to weigh in on it before it goes to the floor.
NED
Yeah, you’ll read it on the way.
RONNA
Next stop is the coffee bean caucus at Hamburg Inn Number Two.
HELEN
The what?
JOSH
Uh, it’s a diner, they line up mason jars with each candidate’s name on it, and every customer gets a coffee bean to toss in their favorite’s.
MATT
I even have a jar?
JOSH
We’ve been sending a volunteer in for pie every day for a week.
HELEN
Oh, you got seven beans, honey.
MATT
And a volunteer as big as Albert?
RONNA
Next is the nation’s oldest Dairy Queen, where you try soft serve and talk about jobs and the economy. Next, we fly to Iowa Corn Growers’ Expo -
JOSH (to MATT)
We have a plane?
MATT
Sort of.
JOSH
With wings?
MATT
Small ones.
RONNA
- ‘I impale myself on the mighty sword of corn-based fuels’ speech.
HELEN
What are you going to say about ethanol?
There is a pause as MATT looks at HELEN.
JOSH
Best thing since soft serve.
HELEN
Ethanol is subsidized to the tune of, what, a billion dollars a year, Josh?
MATT
What’s up after the, uh, corn expo?
RONNA
Uh, back here for prep on the Brown and Black debate.
MATT
All of you are going to prep me for a debate on race.
JOSH
Yeah, we should at least go over the opposing arguments. See if we can get after Hoynes on some of the issues.
MATT
I grew up in Houston, Josh, I lived the opposing arguments.
JOSH (checking his watch)
Okay, that’s it. Parking lot, ten minutes.
MATT
Terrible about this woman in Turkey, huh? What do you think the President’s going to do?
JOSH
Not much, I guess. I mean, she’s a Turkish citizen, it’s their country.
HELEN
They’re executing her because she slept with her fiance, thank God she didn’t cook him breakfast.
JOSH
Hey, we execute minors. The rest of the world thinks that’s barbaric.
HELEN
I’m with the world.
MATT (to HELEN)
You joining us this morning?
HELEN
Ah, no, Peter’s got the sniffles. Think we’re gonna stay here for a while. Honey, a billion dollars a year to make a gasoline additive?
MATT
I’m gonna go get my coat, kiss the kids goodbye.
JOSH
Yeah, pictures are better without the coat.
MATT
Circulation’s better with it.
HELEN (to JOSH)
Register has us at three percent?
JOSH
Yeah, I saw.
HELEN
Iowa’s Hispanic population is 2.8 percent. A billion dollars that could be spent on child health care, prenatal care, Head Start, education -
MATT (to HELEN, giving her a kiss on the cheek)
Catch up with us later?
HELEN
Yup.
JOSH (leaving with MATT, to HELEN)
See you.
CUT TO: INT. - SANTOS CAMPAIGN MOTORHOME – DAY
After seeing the motorhome roll down a rural road, with a minivan following behind, we move inside to see JOSH, NED, RONNA and other staffers coordinating with MATT.
JOSH
Oh, we wrangled you an invitation to go pheasant hunting with one of the Osceola County supervisors – get into camo gear, swing a 12 gauge over your shoulder, (yawning) get a few photos for the AP.
MATT
With a gun?
JOSH
You were in the Marines, you know how to shoot, right?
MATT
Yeah, a 20 millimeter chain gun, but it might be a little hard on the pheasant.
JOSH and RONNA smile, a giant hand-drawn SANTOS FOR PRESIDENT sign on the wall behind them.
MATT
You know, Helen’s not wrong about ethanol.
JOSH
Aw, please, come on …
MATT
It’s bad for the environment, it’s expensive – mother of all panders.
JOSH
After antagonizing New Hampshire voters, we’re gonna march into Iowa, do the same thing?
MATT
Transportation is difficult, storage is a nightmare -
JOSH
What is this, the insult and injury tour? We’re going to North Dakota next, tell them South Dakota has a cooler-sounding name?
MATT
Farm subsidies began as a way to help farmers in the Depression. It’s decades out of date, it’s corporate welfare.
JOSH
Don’t you actually want to get some votes in one of these states?
CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY
MATT, JOSH and the rest are getting out of the motorhome. It is raining. NED opens an umbrella, as JOSH opens another one to hold over MATT as they walk across the parking lot.
MATT
Ah, seventy-five percent of the money goes to the richest ten percent of American farmers. You know, we’re talking about writing six-figure checks to Chevron, the John Hancock Insurance Company, NBA basketball stars.
JOSH
Repeat after me: ‘Family farming is a precious way of life in this country, and we’re gonna do everything we can to protect it.’
MATT (greeting a man walking in the parking lot)
Hi, I’m Matt Santos, I’m running for President.
MAN
Hi …
MATT
Why don’t you come back inside, we’ll talk about how we can make America stronger.
MAN (walking away)
Good luck.
MATT (to JOSH)
So I want to take another look at the ethanol speech when we get back -
JOSH
No! Absolutely not!
MATT
- as soon as we get back on the bus.
JOSH
It’s not gonna happen!
RONNA (to JOSH, as they all enter the restaurant)
He doing it again?
JOSH
Yeah.
CUT TO: INT. - HAMBURG INN – DAY
We see some of the jars for the coffee bean caucus – HOYNES, RUSSELL, EDGAR … and SANTOS, which has only a few coffee beans in it. JOSH picks up the jar and shakes it ruefully.
MAN (in background)
- about immigration policy, we need to tighten our borders.
MATT (in background)
Oh, that’s fine …
NED (to JOSH, who is holding the jar)
Maybe we should find some hungrier volunteers.
JOSH (putting the jar down)
He’s not talking ethanol, is he?
NED
Immigration.
JOSH
Great, he proposing opening the border and - pelting them with surplus corn?
NED
Nope. Something about foreign nationals serving in the military without being given citizenship.
JOSH
Oh my God …
CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY
JOSH and MATT lead the group back into the rain in the parking lot.
MATT
- we let them defend our country, but we won’t let them be American citizens until after they’re discharged?
JOSH
You’re Hispanic! You start talking immigration reform, people are gonna think you want to throw open the borders!
MATT
No, no, no, no, not throw them open, but make some kind of sense out of our immigration laws. And you know, the ethanol subsidy is a joke. It’s practically in the Oxford English Dictionary under ‘pandering.’ Uh, maybe the voters will respect us more for telling them the truth.
JOSH
What truth? That because ethanol isn’t perfect, they have to send their kids to community college, and we’re gonna, yank millions out of their local economy?
MATT
Yeah, but it’s up to us to explain to them that it, it’s gonna hurt them, that, that we’re essentially paying for make-work jobs, I mean, that can’t be what they want.
JOSH
Yeah, well, explain it to them after someone’s actually elected us to something, okay?
CUT TO: EXT. - AIRPORT FBO – DAY
As the campaign motorhome pulls up in front of a building with GLANFORD painted on the side, we hear MATT still debating with JOSH.
MATT (VO)
I am not going to a Brown and Black debate and only talk about economic issues, I’ll look ridiculous.
JOSH and MATT exit the motorhome and start across the tarmac. NED, RONNA, and other staffers follow them.
JOSH
Lack of opportunity is the root of all our divisions. We need to lower the deficit, lower interest rates, and create more private sector jobs. We need to raise educational standards, and equip all Americans for the new economy. That’s what Russell and Hoynes will be saying.
MATT
You’re trying to steer me towards middle-of-the-road positions that appeal to C-SPAN viewers.
JOSH
All six of ‘em who’ll be watching the debate, yeah, God bless ‘em.
MATT
You really want me to talk about the economic problems in the minority communities?
JOSH
Yeah, I really do.
MATT
Okay, how about the fact that minority kids are five times more likely to grow up poor and fatherless?
JOSH
You know you can’t go there.
MATT
I’m serious! Kids who grow up fatherless are more likely to suffer emotional consequences, and twice as likely to engage in criminal activities.
MATT is conducting a quick preflight inspection of a twin-engine propeller aircraft.
JOSH
We need to be challenging Hoynes, not fringe candidates like Atkins.
MATT
We reformed welfare to require women to work – that is, when they can find a job – but we haven’t done half as much to force deadbeat dads to pay for child support.
JOSH
You know damn well less than a quarter of Latino kids grow up without their fathers. It’s nearly half of African-American children.
MATT
I don’t care if it’s three Bosnians, an Armenian, and a bus full of party clowns, it’s a huge economic problem, Josh.
JOSH
It’s gonna look like you’re lecturing African-Americans.
MATT
Oh, so if I’m President, I can only use the bully pulpit to talk to Latinos? What, does my State of the Union only run on Telemundo, too?
JOSH
No, but tell me right now, what’s gonna help everyone, broadly, make a difference across all the races?
MATT
Values issues are important, too, Josh. And supporting ethanol is a mistake, I want to see that speech.
MATT climbs aboard the plane, NED helping with a bag. JOSH looks at the plane skeptically.
JOSH
This is a small plane.
NED
You don’t like small planes?
JOSH
Like, Buddy Holly small. Big Bopper small.
NED
Jiles Perry Richardson. Bppper’s real name. Richie Valens, too. All went down right here in Iowa.
NED climbs aboard.
CUT TO: INT. - AIRCRAFT CABIN – DAY
JOSH squeezes into a seat. RONNA is sitting across from him as NED gets into the seat next to JOSH. We hear radio chatter as JOSH looks around.
JOSH
Where’s the Congressman?
RONNA
Up front.
JOSH
Up front?
RONNA
Well, he can’t exactly fly it from back here.
MATT leans around from the cockpit to look at the passengers.
MATT
Everybody set?
RONNA gives a thumbs-up.
MATT
You might want to buckle up, Josh. Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of doing barrel rolls.
JOSH looks uncomfortable.
CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY
We see the Santos campaign motorhome pulling up to the loading dock area of the cattle barn arena, with a police escort.
JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN
COUNCIL BLUFFS, IOWA
MATT, JOSH, and the other staffers exit the motorhome and start heading for the arena. MATT is going over the speech.
MATT (reading)
‘Ethanol is good for our economy, good for our environment, and should be at the heart of our energy strategy.’
JOSH
We’ve lost 850,000 jobs to foreign oil. Ethanol’s created 150,000. Think of it as a, Midwestern jobs program.
MATT (reading)
‘As President, I will ensure that by the year 2020, ten percent of all motor fuels will come from renewable sources like ethanol -’
JOSH
Four lines at the top of the speech, think of it as a quick trip to the dentist.
MATT
Yeah, I’m a pretty good flosser.
As the group walks down a back hallway, they meet HELEN.
MATT (giving her a kiss)
Hey, honey, how you doing?
HELEN
Mmm, good, Peter’s feeling better, so -
MATT
Great. Ronna, do we know who’s been here already?
RONNA
Uh, Hoynes this morning, Russell about an hour ago.
MATT (to JOSH)
All right, you know, I, I’m not gonna do this – any of it. I’m gonna go in there and I’m gonna tell these people the truth. We have to help farmers in the tough years, and then reform the system so that we can target those who really need it, not these agribusinesses and multimillionaires.
NED (rushing up)
Ready, Congressman?
MATT
Yeah.
JOSH
You walk out there on that stage and you come out against ethanol, you are dead meat. Bambi’d have a better shot at getting elected President of the NRA than you will have of getting a single vote in this caucus.
HELEN
Let him say what he wants to say, Josh, he’s right.
JOSH
No, he’s not!
MATT
Look, you want me to support something I know to be lousy policy and a colossal waste of taxpayers’ money to round up a couple of votes for a caucus I can’t possibly win.
JOSH
I want you to support a policy that helps a lot of people, so that a year from now when you are sworn in as President, you can make the changes we both know need to be made.
MATT looks at HELEN, then back at JOSH.
MATT
I’m ready.
MATT heads up the stairs to the stage.
JOSH
Matt.
MATT stops. HELEN looks at JOSH.
JOSH
Take the pledge.
ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, Congressman Matthew Santos.
As the crowd applauds, MATT takes the stage and goes to the microphone. HELEN and JOSH watch from backstage.
MATT
Oh, thank you, thank you very much for that warm welcome.
As the crowd quiets expectantly, MATT looks at the teleprompter. We see the opening of the speech on the screen:
ETHANOL IS GOOD FOR OUR ECONOMY, GOOD FOR OUR ENVIRONMENT, AND SHOULD BE AT
MATT stands silent for a moment.
MATT
Ethanol … (pause) is good for our economy, good for our environment, and should be at the heart of our energy strategy.
The crowd cheers. JOSH pumps his fist. HELEN watches with her arms crossed.
MATT
As President, I will ensure that by the year 2020, ten percent of all motor fuels come from renewable resources … like ethanol.
JOSH whistles in appreciation. HELEN turns and walks away.
MATT
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to talk about the dramatic steps that we must take …
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL ROOM – DAY
In the darkness we hear a phone ringing. We see SENATOR VINICK, in bed, reaching out to answer the phone.
VINICK (into phone)
Yeah …
MAN (on phone)
Good morning, sir, it’s 5:45.
VINICK (into phone)
Great. Okay, thank you.
MAN (on phone)
You’re welcome.
WEDNESDAY 5:46 AM
VINICK sits up and turns on the lamp. He puts on his glasses and looks at a picture by his bed, which we can’t see. As VINICK continues to prepare for the day – picking up a newspaper outside his door, heading into the bathroom – the TV has a version of the same report we’ve seen twice already.
ANCHOR (on TV)
- Karly Farkula, a 22-year-old Turkish woman, who was sexually involved with a co-worker, was convicted of adultery this morning. Leaders are expressing concern that the country’s laws might be moving closer to Islamic law. Meanwhile, Bartlet administration officials stressed that while they’re saddened by Turkey’s decision to allow the execution to go forward -
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
The Vinick campaign headquarters seems different from Russell’s and Santos’ … there are more people, a full breakfast buffet, but the setup and the activity seems more polished. There are still bustling staffers, ringing phones, and overlapping voices, but the chaos is at a minimum. VINICK is at a table with some of his top staffers, including SHEILA BROOKS and BOB MAYER, as he reads a newspaper and has breakfast.
SHEILA
Speech on tax reform at the General Mills plant, then a meet-and-greet with the managers, talk about improving the business climate.
VINICK
We have talking points on the tax plan?
BOB (handing something to SHEILA)
Hey …
SHEILA
Yeah – okay, 11:00, rally at the Mid-America Center followed by a fundraising lunch for John Schofield -
VINICK
Thought we said no to that?
BOB
Party’s getting behind him, they’re trying to unseat Lockman.
SHEILA
All right, we have a couple of house stops, and then on to Hamburg Inn Number 2.
STAFFER (chuckling)
That the place with the beans?
VINICK
Great pie, too.
SHEILA
Finally, tonight the Iowa Corn Growers Association.
There’s a lull as BOB and SHEILA exchange looks.
VINICK
It suddenly get quiet in here?
SHEILA (clearing throat)
Do we have that new direct mail piece?
BOB
Yeah, I took out about 17 exclamation points. Here. (handing a folder across the table) Fewer words, more pictures.
SHEILA
Can we get any mileage out of Bartlet and this Turkey thing?
VINICK
I don’t see how. He criticized the decision while reaffirming our commitment to regional autonomy.
BOB
Yeah, but if we can find an angle it might be a good way to remind caucusgoers of your foreign policy experience.
VINICK
We want to remind them of my foreign policy experience?
BOB
Might get their minds off ethanol and abortion.
VINICK
Bringing them with me to a DMZ wouldn’t take their minds off ethanol and abortion.
SHEILA (to the room)
Okay, everybody – that’s it.
Staffers begin to stand up and get ready to move out. SHEILA comes around the table to VINICK.
SHEILA
Got the, new financial report. We’re up six million. Six.
BOB
Ooh, lot of money. Now all we need are a few people willing to vote for you.
VINICK
Bob, you got crumbs all over -
BOB brushes off his sweater.
VINICK
Oh, great, now if I want a snack, I just have to reach down into the carpet.
BOB (to SHEILA)
You tell him?
VINICK
Tell me what?
BOB
Got the new field poll, you’re at five percent.
VINICK
So I’m up a little.
BOB
Half a point. Dumped two million bucks into Iowa, and you are up a half? Ten million more, I can get you into double digits.
VINICK
No.
BOB
You’re gonna have to do it.
VINICK
I’m not having this conversation.
BOB
Sheila, tell him.
VINICK
Stop it. She’s been doing all her own talking since she turned 35.
SHEILA
Why don’t we talk about this in the car?
VINICK grabs his coat.
CUT TO: INT. - VINICK SUV – DAY
A motorcade of three vehicles are traveling down a rural highway. We hear the discussion first before we move inside the SUV.
VINICK (VO)
I never thought we should commit resources here in the first place.
SHEILA (VO)
We can’t just thumb our noses at Iowa. Let Allard clean up and take the momentum into New Hampshire - ?
BOB (VO)
This is all about rural voters. A Republican can’t win the White House without the Farm Belt.
VINICK
You want me in overalls, spending all day talking to Whistler’s mom about soybean prices?
SHEILA
You know that’s not what we’re talking about.
VINICK
Farmers in America don’t want to get paid in the mailbox. They want to get paid in the marketplace.
BOB
Catchy. Pretty sure I wrote it.
VINICK
People know where I stand. They may not like it, but they know I’ll stick with it.
BOB
This is issue one, two, and three here.
VINICK
I’m not a panderer.
BOB
It’s unavoidable. It’s the non-panderer’s pander. General Patton would’ve pandered on ethanol.
VINICK (to SHEILA)
Et tu, Brute?
CUT TO: INT. - BARBERSHOP – DAY
VINICK is speaking to a group of rural Iowans inside a rural barbershop.
VINICK
Bartlet’s economic policies simply aren’t working. In small towns and rural communities, across America, our lifestyle and values are under siege. The trade deficit’s at record levels. Corn is down three cents a bushel, soybeans are down twelve cents -
FARMER
Isn’t the deficit due to NAFTA as much as anything else?
VINICK
Trade creates jobs, period. One-third of Iowa’s agricultural product goes overseas. We need more programs like the Freedom to Farm legislation that I helped sponsor.
FARMER
Around here, we call that ‘Freedom to Foreclose.’
VINICK
Well, that’s, that’s clever, but it’s not very accurate. I mean, do you think that farmers should decide what they get to plant? Or should that be left up to some bureaucrat back in Washington? You know, too often you’re forced to farm the subsidy instead of the market.
CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY
The Vinick motorcade is pulling into the rainy parking lot. We hear the discussion from inside the SUV.
SHEILA (VO)
We could use the new study the Ethanol Institute put out.
VINICK (VO)
Yeah, I wonder who footed the bill for that research?
BOB (VO)
It says if we put ten percent ethanol in every gas tank in America, we can reduce worldwide oil demand by two percent.
VINICK (VO)
First, we can’t produce that much ethanol.
We see VINICK, SHEILA, BOB and others getting out of their vehicles in the rain. Many have umbrellas ready.
VINICK
Second, using it as an additive allows the oil companies to pump up octane levels and sell more premium gas to SUVs.
SHEILA
Senator, we’re just trying to -
VINICK
Two years ago, I called it highway robbery. Now I’m supposed to hand out ski masks, guns, and brown paper bags?
BOB
Forget the subsidy argument, you’ve said a hundred times reducing dependence on foreign oil is a national security issue -
VINICK
Yeah …
BOB
- we fold ethanol into that.
VINICK
Yeah, the only problem is it’s not true. Making a gallon of ethanol takes almost a gallon of oil. That’s like saying using tonic water as an additive reduces our demand for gin.
BOB
Look -
VINICK
Listen, I need to catch Valerie after school. I want to wish her a happy birthday.
BOB (pulling out some papers)
Will you at least look at the ethanol report?
VINICK
It’s a classic study of a stupid policy rammed down our throats by special interests. Makes about as much sense as building patio furniture out of corn. (opening the door to the restaurant) But sure, I’ll take a look.
CUT TO: INT. - HAMBURG INN – DAY
BOB is looking at the candidates’ jars of coffee beans. We see jars for JOHNSON, WALKEN, and VINICK. WALKEN’s jar appears to have the most, with only a modest number in VINICK’s jar. We hear VINICK speaking in the background.
VINICK (VO)
We need fewer regulations on small businesses – you know, small businesses like family farms. And we have to do something about these frivolous lawsuits that jack up costs for small businesses -
We see VINICK before a crowd of Iowans in the restaurant.
VINICK
- you know, make it hard for them to afford to have insurance, capital investment-
MAN
Now, now I’m for free trade … but shouldn’t it be fair trade? Can we really compete with people earning a dollar a day?
VINICK
Do we really want workers in Malaysia to be earning our minimum wage? I mean, do you have any idea what real estate costs in Kuala Lumpur?
SHEILA gets a call on her phone. She answers it, whispering “What?” as she turns and sees a TV with a Breaking News alert.
Chemical Spill In Louisiana
Thousands Evacuated In Baton Rouge
as Chemical Cloud Spreads
We see footage of a fire and black clouds of smoke, as well as explosion damage, and VINICK continues to speak.
VINICK (VO)
Trade lowers prices for Americans, I mean, how, how else do you think that they keep things so cheap over at Walmart?
CUT TO: EXT. - HAMBURG INN PARKING LOT – DAY
VINICK and the others exit the restaurant back into the rain, with umbrellas.
VINICK (to SHEILA)
It’s not just ethanol, you know? These … these subsidies are what give us the corn glut. That’s why we make 20 million tons of corn sweetener a year. (beat) Average American eats or drinks 93 pounds of it, and we wonder why we have an obesity problem with kids. (beat) What would I have to say?
SHEILA
You weren’t wrong as Senator. Ethanol wasn’t in the best interests of California, but as President, you have to do what’s right for the whole country. What did you expect?
VINICK
How about, ‘As Senator, I pandered to Californians, but as President, I plan to pander to every special interest group who will get me elected’?
There’s a short pause.
VINICK
Bob already have a speech drafted?
SHEILA
You want to read it?
VINICK
No, not especially. You know, if Iowa weren’t first, if it were third – you know what it would be? The South Dakota primary.
CUT TO: INT. - JEFFERSON CATTLE BARN – DAY
Once again we see the candidate’s vehicles entering the loading dock of the cattle barn arena, this time Vinick’s SUV motorcade, with a police escort. It is now snowing. VINICK gets out of his SUV and heads for the arena, BOB and SHEILA behind him, as a REPORTER shouts questions.
REPORTER
Senator Vinick, any thoughts on today’s train derailment?
BOB (to SHEILA)
Uhh, he’ll do it?
SHEILA
Yeah.
BOB
Oh.
Another STAFFER has a cell phone to his ear.
STAFFER (into phone)
Hello?
As VINICK and the rest walk down the back hallway, the STAFFER gets the phone to VINICK.
STAFFER
Senator? Your granddaughter.
VINICK (taking phone, singing into it)
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you – (laughs) Well … well, Mantovani I’m not. (beat) No. No, of course I didn’t forget! (beat) Well, it’s cold – it started snowing. (beat) Okay, you go back to your friends. I love you, too. Happy birthday, pumpkin.
VINICK hangs up and hands the phone to BOB.
VINICK
You have that ‘Profiles in Spinelessness’ speech of yours?
BOB
It’s on the prompters.
STAFFER
You ready, Senator?
VINICK (softly)
Okay.
VINICK steps up near the entrance to the stage, sighing heavily as SHEILA primps his suit jacket.
VINICK
Man, I missed so many of my own kids’ birthdays, now I’m doing it with the grandchildren.
ANNOUNCER (VO)
Ladies and gentlemen, Senator Arnold Vinick.
There is polite applause as VINICK takes the stage and goes up to the podium.
VINICK
As many of you are aware … in the past, I haven’t been a big supporter of ethanol subsidies.
VINICK stops. We see the next sentence on the screen of the teleprompter:
AS A CALIFORNIA SENATOR, I DIDN’T BELIEVE ETHANOL TO BE IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF
VINICK remains quiet. The crowd is also silent, except for a random cough. VINICK looks at the prompter again, and finally continues.
VINICK
I know what you want to hear. Telling people what they want to hear is the easiest thing you can do in politics. But that’s not why I’m here. That’s not why I’m running for President.
SHEILA and BOB react as they realize VINICK isn’t going to go along with them. The crowd begins to murmur in disappointment.
VINICK
Now, I know that the ethanol subsidies have been good for some of you. But mostly, it’s a windfall for huge conglomerates. I’m embarrassed by it, and I think you should be, too. Look, I know what you’re up against. I grew up in a, in a citrus farming community in California …
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. - HOTEL BAR – NIGHT
WEDNESDAY 10:25 PM
JOSH and NED are at the bar, watchign MSNBC coverage of VINICK’s speech. The caption reads VINICK DISAPPOINTS AT ICGA EXPO.
VINICK (on TV)
I’m here to tell you the straight truth – if you elect me President, ethanol subsidies are not going to be a part of my agriculture policy.
ANCHOR (on TV)
Senator Arnold Vinick surprised many people -
JOSH
Wow.
HELEN appears behind JOSH and NED.
HELEN
Yeah, wow.
JOSH
You and the Congressman finished with dinner?
HELEN
Yeah, at least one candidate gets to go home without feeling like he’s been mugged. (strained chuckle)
JOSH
Well, he may have his wallet, but he’ll be down four points in the morning.
HELEN
Ned, would you mind excusing us for a minute?
NED
Mmm-hmm.
HELEN
Thanks.
JOSH (as NED leaves)
See ya.
HELEN
Josh, why are we even in Iowa? Shouldn’t we be focusing on, uh, Texas, California, places where we might actually get some, um, how do your political professionals call them – votes?
JOSH
We’re letting people know there’s an alternative to Hoynes and Russell. Matt Santos, making sense, talking about ideas.
HELEN
Making sense about ethanol?
JOSH
It makes sense in Iowa, yeah. Russell’s a house of cards. His support’s a mile wide and an inch deep. We can’t compete with him on endorsements or institutional support. But we don’t have to worry about Russell. Hoynes’ll find a way to take him down.
HELEN
This the famous Josh Lyman nine-point plan?
JOSH
Hoynes is smart, he has access to money, plenty of chits he can call in. Once Russell crumbles, his support’ll flow to Hoynes, unless someone has established themself as ‘Not Hoynes.’
HELEN
‘Not Hoynes.’
JOSH
There’s going to be lots of primary activists who are very uncomfortable with an adulterous, moderate, DLC Democrat.
HELEN (laughing)
Oh, my God – you actually stay up nights thinking this stuff up?
JOSH
It’s a living.
HELEN (sighs, thinking)
Hmm … well, I’m going to bed. Please don’t keep him up too late, he’s tired. Good night, Josh.
HELEN exits.
CUT TO: INT. - HOTEL CAFE – NIGHT
JOSH walks into the cafe, finding RONNA and MATT in a booth.
JOSH
Hey … still snowing outside?
RONNA
Uh, yes, supposed to clear up in a couple of hours.
JOSH
We gonna have to change the schedule tomorrow?
RONNA
Not yet.
VINICK walks into the cafe, followed by SHEILA and BOB.
VINICK
Josh, as I live and barely breathe.
JOSH (shaking hands)
Senator, how are you?
VINICK
Well, aside from the dozen Republican farmers who just tried to show me the business end of a Mr. Popcorn machine, fine. (making introductions) You know Sheila – Bob.
JOSH
Hey.
SHEILA (shaking hands)
Hey.
BOB
Hi.
JOSH (shaking hands with BOB)
You got some … shmutz …
VINICK
No, no, that’s just Bob’s way of packing a lunch.
MATT stands up behind JOSH.
JOSH
Uh, Senator, Congressman Matt Santos.
MATT
Hey.
VINICK (shaking hands)
Yeah, we’ve met. How are you, Matt?
MATT
I’m good, Arnie. You? (to JOSH) We co-sponsored a doomed immigration reform package a couple of years ago.
VINICK
Ahhh, we, we fought the good fight, lit the good match.
MATT
Still went down in flames.
VINICK
We’re supposed to be driving back to Des Moines now, but, we … well, you know, with the storm and everything, we thought we’d get something to eat and see if it clears up.
MATT (to JOSH)
Well, maybe we can see if the kitchen’s still open.
JOSH
Yeah. I’ll check it out. (walks away)
SHEILA
I’ll get us a table.
VINICK
Yeah, sure, I, I’ll be right there.
SHEILA and BOB walk away.
VINICK
I read about that education plan you introduced in New Hampshire, that’s pretty gutsy stuff – taking on the teachers’ unions?
MATT
Well, I don’t think that I’ll be elected president of my PTA right now, but, uh … saw the ethanol speech.
VINICK
Yeah, well, that wasn’t gutsy so much as suicidal – or so my staff tells me. Mind if I sit?
MATT
No, please.
RONNA makes room in the booth as VINICK sits next to her, MATT sitting across the table.
VINICK
Your guys Russell and Hoynes have come after me on that already. You lining up a shot for tomorrow?
MATT
I think I’ll – just sit this one out.
VINICK
Two hundred and forty day school year, hmm? An end to teacher tenure; nationalizing the system -
MATT
You want to hop on? I could use the support, I’m taking a shellacking from my own side of the aisle.
VINICK
I’m with you on the tenure, but, uh … a longer, federally mandated school year, I … ? It sounds like another big Washington power grab to me -
MATT
Oh, here we go …
VINICK
Well, no, wait, why would we want to wrest control from the local school boards and the parents who know more about their kids than we do?
MATT
‘Cause right now, our local school boards and parents aren’t making sure that our kids can compete in a tougher world marketplace.
VINICK (smiling)
Wouldn’t be a Democratic plan if it didn’t involve more taxes.
MATT
Maybe we should take apart every public school, brick by brick, auction them off … some things cost money, Arnie.
VINICK
Who’s going to administer all this? The Department of Education? Because they did such a great job improving education in the last four decades?
MATT (smiling)
All right, are you through embarrassing me in front of my staff, here?
VINICK (jovially)
Not even close.
MATT
When are you headed back to New Hampshire?
VINICK
Tomorrow. What with my ethanol tantrum, I, uh … I suspect my work here is done. (chuckling) I think I’ve managed to successfully drag my, my, my poll numbers below a pro hockey score, you know.
MATT
Well, at least you’ve still got a full set of teeth.
VINICK
Yeah, my staff is very proud.
MATT
Well, if they weren’t … I was.
VINICK
You’re not an ethanol fan?
MATT
Not until today.
JOSH appears at the table where SHEILA and BOB are waiting. SHEILA has a phone to her ear, BOB is writing feverishly.
JOSH
Kitchen’s closed, but they said they’d whip up a few eggs, some sandwiches.
SHEILA
Thank you.
JOSH and SHEILA look over at MATT and VINICK.
JOSH
What do you think they’re plotting over there?
SHEILA
Well, if your day’s been anything like ours, I’d keep away the sharp cutlery.
JOSH
That was a bold move on the ethanol thing.
SHEILA
That was all him.
JOSH
You’ll end up a loser here, but you’ll mop up with the national press, they’ll be talking about how courageous your guy is.
BOB
From your lips to God’s ears.
SHEILA
What’d your guy do on ethanol?
JOSH
He took the pledge.
SHEILA and BOB exchange looks.
JOSH
Republican field’s wide open, we’re just – trying to find a way to stay in the game.
JOSH continues to watch MATT and VINICK talking across the room. On the soundtrack we hear an acoustic song begin, ‘Desire’ by Ryan Adams. A montage begins as the song plays … DONNA gets into the elevator, saying good night to WILL; WILL goes to an ice cream machine in the hallway and buys an ice cream sandwich; MATT goes into his hotel bedroom, seeing both children in bed with HELEN – HELEN opens an eye, they exchange smiles; VINICK is preparing for bed, he sees TOBY giving a briefing on TV.
TOBY (on TV)
- our current force is more than adequate to meet the needs of the agreed-upon security arrangements and all parties remain -
VINICK shuts off the TV. Sitting on the bed, he looks at the photograph we saw him looking at in the morning. Now we see it’s a photo of VINICK and his late wife. He takes off his glasses.
DONNA is getting ready for bed, filling the coffee pot to be ready for the morning. She goes to the door and picks up an envelope; JOSH is coming down the hallway and sees her. She closes the door, but looks through the peephole as JOSH goes to his door directly across the hall. JOSH stops at his door, as if he’s considering going to DONNA’s. She watches him through the peephole, then turns away. JOSH opens his door and goes into his room. The camera pulls away down the hallway, showing envelopes on the floor outside most of the hotel rooms. The song continues.
The song stops abruptly as a telephone rings, with JOSH in his bed, head under his pillow. He answers it.
JOSH (groggily, into phone)
Mmm … hello.
RECORDED VOICE (on phone)
Good morning. This is your … five … forty-five … AM wakeup call.
JOSH
Thank you.
He hangs up the phone. He sighs and groans as the screen fades to black.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *
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The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x13 – King Corn
Original Airdate: January 26, 2005