THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: Faith Based Initiative (S6E10)

THE WEST WING
6x10 - “FAITH BASED INITIATIVE”
WRITTEN BY BRADLEY WHITFORD
DIRECTED BY CHRISTOPHER MISIANO

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

FAITH BASED INITIATIVE

FADE IN: INT. - SANTOS BEDROOM – NIGHT

MATT SANTOS and his wife HELEN are lying on their bed, their sleeping children between them, after the Christmas family gathering we saw at the end of the previous episode. A fire is burning in the fireplace.

MATT
Josh should’ve called. I could’ve saved him a trip.

HELEN
They don’t have anyone else? It’s a Latino district and they cannot come up with a decent Democrat?

MATT
You’d think.

HELEN
Did you leave it open with him?

MATT
No.

HELEN
I’ll break you in half.

MATT
He knows I’m not going back to the House.

HELEN (referring to the kids)
Give me a hand. These guys are out.

MATT and HELEN each pick up a child and carry them out of the bedroom.

MATT (picking up their son)
Look at how big this kid is.

HELEN (picking up their daughter)
Mm-hmm.

MATT
I mean, he’s down to my knees. (HELEN laughs) When did this happen?

HELEN
He’s shooting up, it’s that time.

MATT
He’s got his own smell.

CUT TO: INT. - SANTOS KITCHEN – NIGHT

MATT and HELEN come into the kitchen to clean up after putting the kids to bed.

HELEN
So what did he want?

MATT
Well, he’s not worried about the House anymore.

HELEN
You supposed to walk Russell through a Cinco de Mayo parade, establish his Chicano street cred?

MATT (chuckling)
Not quite.

HELEN
I hate politicians who wear cowboy boots.

MATT
Well, that’s the least of his problems. 

HELEN
Women spend their entire lives trying to get out of heels – what possible use is there? The guy is a lawmaker. It’s like going through life wearing a welder’s helmet.

MATT
He’s not a bad guy, he’s -

HELEN
Well, his footwear’s moronic.

MATT
He’s just trying to get elected.

HELEN (scooping something out of a bowl with a spoon)
Exactly. Oh, my God, this is good, you want some?

HELEN offers the bowl and the spoon to MATT.

MATT
What is it?

HELEN
It’s ice cream, melted. It’s good like this.

MATT (sitting)
I’m fine.

HELEN continues to eat out of the bowl as MATT takes a moment.

MATT
Josh wants me to run for President.

A pause as HELEN considers this.

HELEN
Of the United States?

MATT
I’m pretty sure.

HELEN (laughing as she turns to put the bowl in the sink, as MATT laughs, too)
Wow, they are hard up. I mean, you know what I mean, it’s … you thinking about this?

MATT
No.

HELEN
You’re not.

MATT
Told him no.

HELEN
You told him no.

MATT
I told him no.

HELEN
And what did he say?

MATT
He said that I was right, that it was a … stupid idea and that I made the right decision.

HELEN
Man of conviction right there.

MATT
He’s got it all figured out, he’s got this nine-point plan. It’s pretty interesting, actually.

HELEN
Nine points?

MATT
Uh-huh.

HELEN
Why not seven, or three, or … ?

MATT
I don’t know.

HELEN
And this plan is supposed to make you … ?

MATT
Win.

A beat.

HELEN
Oh, my God, you’re thinking about this.

MATT
I told him no.

A pause. MATT and HELEN look at each other, small unreadable smiles on their faces.

HELEN
Well, I’m going to bed. Those kids are going to be up in a couple of hours. Don’t forget the trash.

HELEN slowly walks out of the kitchen. MATT sits in his chair, watching her.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - CJ’S APARTMENT – MORNING

We begin with a close-up of CJ’s face as she applies lipstick. We hear the sound from a news program.

NEWS ANCHOR (VO)
The Bartlet administration remains optimistic about upcoming trilateral talks with China and North Korea; South Korea offers energy assistance to its power-starved neighbors.

CJ’s Blackberry begins buzzing. We see a closeup of that, then CJ picks it up and starts looking at whatever news alert caused the alarm.

NEWS ANCHOR (VO)
It’s a quarter past the hour, and this is Morning Edition. The first chink in the armor of the Washington-Pyongyang stalemate appeared last month in Beijing -

CJ (looking at her Blackberry)
Oh, my God …

NEWS ANCHOR (VO)
- when Chinese President Lian agreed to broker talks between the US and -

CJ
Are you kidding me?!

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

CJ walks into the doors of the White House, where she is greeted by MARGARET.

MARGARET
Well. Good morning.

CJ
Right.

MARGARET (cheerily)
I love it when it’s cold enough to make the mud crusty, it’s a better walk.

CJ
You don’t have to do this. 

MARGARET
Sorry.

CJ
You have the full text of this blog thing from the Rohmer Report?

MARGARET arranges some papers in her hands as they continue to walk.

CJ
Go.

MARGARET (reading)
‘What team does she play on? Washington abuzz with fresh allegations that a certain former Bartlet administration press secretary may have more than a passing interest in pursuing what many have described as a radical homosexual agenda.’ And it goes on …

CJ
To say what?

MARGARET
That you played sports at Berkeley and that you were the first girl in Ohio prep history ever to dunk a basketball.

CJ
Oh, lord God …

MARGARET
And that’s pretty much it.

CJ
Did Tommy call?

MARGARET
Tommy? Burly Tommy Keller with the mop on top? Two dinners at the Oval Room last week, and the reason I’m wearing this necklace today, who’s picking you up at 7:00 tonight, Tommy?

CJ
He called?

MARGARET
No.

They have reached CJ’s office. CJ gestures through the doorway.

CJ
Everybody in there?

MARGARET
All here – five minutes early.

CJ
Well, great.

CJ heads into her office, where WILL, TOBY, KATE, ANNABETH, and JOSH are waiting. 

CJ
Morning.

ALL
Good morning, CJ.

CJ walks around her desk, seeing a basketball wrapped in a red ribbon on it. There are a few quiet chuckles.

CJ
Okay …

CJ throws down the papers she was carrying, picks up the basketball, and smoothly shoots it into a trash can across the room.

TOBY
Whoa!

JOSH
I’ve never been more attracted to you in my life.

CJ
Restrain yourself. Last night’s House vote means we have a budget headed for conference committee. House and Senate versions are close, but we don’t want to get hung up for weeks on a bunch of silly HHS riders like we did two years ago. We’re close, but it’s not a -

CHARLIE (walking into the room)
Slam dunk?

CJ
Hey, now Charlie made a funny. Guys, our whole agenda is riding on this. We can’t afford another shutdown. We’ve got the President’s legacy. This is our last chance to maybe do some good for folks, and it all lives or dies with this budget. We have to track this conference committee closely.

TOBY
Are we gonna get the college loan and Pell grant expansion?

JOSH
Yeah, both versions, we got it -

CHARLIE (handing a paper to CJ)
We just got the list of Republican conferees.

CJ (looking at the list)
Wilkinson?

CHARLIE
I thought it was a seniority thing.

JOSH (as CJ hands the list to TOBY)
No, they can do whatever they want.

TOBY
That’s why they do it behind closed doors.

CJ
Wilkinson? Isn’t this it for him?

WILL
Yeah, I thought he was going back to Kansas to sell flat globes.

TOBY (handing the list to JOSH)
Was he even in on the budget negotiations?

JOSH
I didn’t see him.

CJ
Okay, we keep an eye out, everybody hits the phones. Will, what do you got?

WILL
Uh, the VP’s speaking to the NAACP in Memphis next week. I’m coordinating with the policy shops.

JOSH
You want help?

WILL
You talking to me?

JOSH
Yeah, I may be able to help you out there.

WILL
You’re offering to help the Vice President?

JOSH
Yeah, I can help you cut to the chase with those guys.

CHARLIE
Those guys?

WILL
You’re like the whitest guy on the planet.

CHARLIE
Yeah. Got any particular insights you want to share?

JOSH
Is it weird? Did it just get weird in here?

TOBY
A little.

CJ
What else? Kate, where’s Uzbekistan?

KATE
Something big blew up. Doesn’t appear to be nuclear. We’re going over the pictures now. We really have no idea.

ANNABETH
Let’s never open these meetings to the public.

CJ
Okay, keep me posted. The President’s going to be working from the residence today, if you need him, bring it to me.

CHARLIE
He okay?

CJ
Yeah, he’s fine. Some temporary balance problems. Just precautionary, we don’t want to risk another fall. Skip the flowers and chocolate, if you want to send a message of love, bring this budget home. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to try and craft a personal statement in support of the reproductive arts.

KATE
Hang in there.

CJ
Yeah, yeah.

The senior staff stands and begins to leave.

CHARLIE
There’s a basketball in the trash.

KATE
Nothing but net.

TOBY (stopping at the doorway)
Don’t put out a statement.

CJ
It’ll be perfectly respectful, we don’t need this distraction now.

TOBY
It feels funny.

CJ
You’re going to have to be more articulate than that.

TOBY
This can’t be a coincidence. Rumors about your sexuality on the same day the Republicans are shoving Wilkinson onto the budget conference committee? 

CJ
You’re acting like a dog in Pompeii again.

TOBY
Do me a favor. Hold off on the statement, let me make some calls.

CJ
Fine, but I think you’re drastically overestimating the political potency of my sex life.

TOBY
Not possible.

CJ chuckles.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – DAY

BARTLET is lying on a massage table in his bedroom, getting worked on by a physical therapist.

BARTLET
This is great.

THERAPIST
Sir?

BARTLET
I have a devastating neurological disorder and you’ve got me doing calisthenics.

THERAPIST
Can I put this whining in a book I’m gonna write?

BARTLET
If I wanted to exercise, I never would’ve become an economist.

CURTIS walks into the bedroom.

BARTLET
Curtis, my friend, how you doing today?

CURTIS
Just fine, sir.

BARTLET
Well, a mighty blessing upon your mighty frame, son.

CURTIS
Appreciate that, Mr. President, what can I do for you, sir?

BARTLET
Is my wife about?

CURTIS
I believe she is, sir.

BARTLET
Thank you.

CURTIS exits. BARTLET groans as the THERAPIST stretches out a leg.

BARTLET
Oookay – now you got me trying to do stuff I couldn’t do before I got sick.

THERAPIST
When you’re feeling wobbly, that’s a good opportunity for you to take some time with range of motion.

BARTLET (panting)
Terrific, I’ll just pretend I’m a crustacean.

THERAPIST
Use it or lose it, Mr. President.

BARTLET
That could be said for the power of the Presidency as well.

CURTIS ushers ABBEY into the bedroom.

ABBEY
Good lord, Jed, are you all right?

BARTLET (grunting)
No, I’m fine, I just … thank you, Curtis. I may need you, I’ll holler.

CURTIS
Right outside the door, sir. 

CURTIS steps out.

BARTLET
You bet. (panting) Great kid.

ABBEY
I’d like to watch him eat a pie.

BARTLET (laughing)
You on your way?

ABBEY
I got a quick meet with your doctor and CJ later this morning; five interviews and three receptions this afternoon -

BARTLET
Aw, geez …

ABBEY
Hell is a place where you got to keep smiling and you’re not allowed to take off your pantyhose.

BARTLET
You want me in the CJ meeting?

ABBEY
Not unless you want to hear yourself referred to in the third person and keep your mouth shut.

BARTLET
I didn’t think my schedule was going to be so light on the protein.

ABBEY
Well, that’s all right, Jed. You can afford to lose a few pounds.

ABBEY gives BARTLET a peck on the ear.

BARTLET
Shhhh …

ABBEY (whispers)
See you this evening.

BARTLET (as ABBEY exits)
I’ll be here.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – DAY

TOBY walks towards JOSH’s office. He speaks to MARLA WORISKY, the temp replacing DONNA, as he goes by.

TOBY
He in there?

MARLA
Yeah. Don’t go in.

TOBY (stopping)
He alone?

MARLA
How do you mean?

TOBY
Not with others.

MARLA
That is correct.

TOBY
You know what, he’ll be fine.

TOBY starts back into the office as MARLA stands and speaks loudly.

MARLA
Step away from the door!

TOBY stops and holds his hands up as JOSH comes out of the office.

JOSH (to TOBY)
Hey, one second. You all right? (showing a paper to MARLA) How’s this?

MARLA (taking the paper)
I’ll tell you after I read it.

JOSH (to TOBY)
Come on in.

They go into JOSH’s office, TOBY still staring at MARLA.

JOSH (closing the door)
She likes it closed.

TOBY
Interesting girl.

JOSH
Yeah. I think I lost the temp lottery. She’s making me finish, like, one thing at a time.  It’s insane.

TOBY
Tell her to back off.

JOSH
You tell her.

TOBY
Call Donna.

JOSH (sighing)
I can’t. 

TOBY
You know, eventually, you may have to resort to manhood.

JOSH
I’m the victim here, how am I supposed to be a man?

TOBY (beat)
This Wilkinson thing, seem strange to you?

JOSH
Yeah, I got calls out to the Minority Leader and all the Democratic conferees.

TOBY
I’m gonna call the Republican Whip, then go see Wilkinson.

JOSH
We’ll get this budget locked up.

TOBY
Why’d you go to Houston?

JOSH
Hmmm?

TOBY
Why’d you go to Houston? Santos?

JOSH
Yeah.

TOBY
What’d he say?

JOSH
He’s not running.

TOBY (scoffs)
Yeah. Could’ve used him in the House.

JOSH
Yeah, it’s a shame.

TOBY
You went all the way down there?

JOSH
I like him a lot.

TOBY (beat)
Russell and Hoynes both still after you?

JOSH
Yeah.

TOBY
Make up your mind?

JOSH
I’m here with you to the bitter end, with bells on.

TOBY
If this budget falls apart and Vinick makes his way through the primaries, there’s not going to be a Democratic Party anymore.

JOSH
No. I know, I’m on it.

The door opens and MARLA walks in.

MARLA (to TOBY)
You’re done, leave.

TOBY (on his way out)
I don’t know what you’re talking about, I think this girl’s fantastic.

MARLA (to JOSH)
Minority Leader on one.

MARLA backs out of the office and closes the door.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY

CJ is on the telephone. 

CJ (into phone)
Yes, Senator, we understand. (beat) Sure. (beat) And we appreciate the restraint you’ve shown through this entire budget process … 

MARGARET is at the door gesturing at ANNABETH waiting there.

CJ (to MARGARET)
Yeah, yeah.

ANNABETH (entering, to MARGARET)
Thank you.

CJ (into phone)
And you know this White House is going to back you 100 percent. (to ANNABETH) Sit, sit. (into phone) Yep, Baker’s my next call. Thanks for the heads up. (beat) Oh, I’m fine. I only use the internet to shop. (beat) Thanks for asking. (hangs up the phone) Cripes. What’s up?

ANNABETH
So I have some interview requests -

CJ
Go ahead.

ANNABETH
The Advocate, Out, The Village Voice, the San Francisco Chronicle -

CJ
Make my stinking day …

ANNABETH
- Washington Times, Goddess Monthly, Nantucket Republican, and the NCAA Field Hockey Quarterly.

CJ
Field hockey?

ANNABETH
No, I just made that one up, as a joke.

CJ
Well, aren’t you just as perky as all get-out.

ANNABETH
So, for now it seems to be isolated to just the -

CJ
Sports fans.

ANNABETH
Right.

CJ
And the statement? I just want to be sure this doesn’t distract from the business of, say, the government.

ANNABETH
Yeah, I’ve been struggling with this a bit – you want to emphatically deny something you have no problem with and make it publicly clear that this is a private matter?

CJ
That’d be great.

There is a pause.

ANNABETH
Okey-dokey.

ANNABETH turns and exits, and JOSH and TOBY enter with a knock.

JOSH
Hey. 

TOBY
Is the President still in the residence?

CJ
Yeah.

JOSH
We found out what Wilkinson’s doing in the budget conference.

TOBY
Federal ban on gay marriage.

JOSH
Sanctity of Marriage Act.

CJ
They’re attaching it to the budget?

TOBY
So if we want to avoid spending the rest of our days in partisan gridlock, we have to ban gay marriage.

JOSH
If we oppose it, we paint the whole Democratic Party as out of touch with traditional American values for the election.

TOBY
And the budget goes down in flames.

CJ
Margaret!

MARGARET appears in the doorway.

CJ
Call the residence, we need to see the President now.

CUT TO: INT. - WILL’S OFFICE – DAY

WILL is talking to someone sitting across from him at his desk. We can’t see who.

WILL
I looked over your resume; I think we both know it’s an undersell. What I take to the Vice President is the knowledge you’ve gleaned over six years on the front lines. I think we can safely say you’ve picked up a lot.

The camera has moved to show us it’s DONNA being interviewed for a job.

DONNA
I try to pay attention.

WILL
I just want to make sure I’m not starting a turf war – I’d hate to find the Deputy Chief of Staff at my door with a switchblade.

DONNA
You’re not poaching me. I need to move on, and Josh is … well, he’ll find someone else to answer his phone.

WILL
Well, we can use you. No question. And not as anybody’s assistant.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – DAY

BARTLET is sitting on the sofa, squeezing a rubber ball. CJ, JOSH and TOBY are giving him the news.

BARTLET
Sanctity of Marriage? 

JOSH
That’s right, Mr. President.

BARTLET
On the budget?

CJ
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Didn’t they attach a family planning rider to the highway bill last year?

JOSH
They did.

BARTLET
What’s with these people, they can’t stop talking about sex.

TOBY
If they can’t be having it …

BARTLET
Am I having a flashback, or is this my brain going?

JOSH
No, sir, last time they called it Marriage Recognition Act, first term, pocket veto.

BARTLET
Who is this?

JOSH
Wilkinson.

BARTLET
What’s Wilkinson doing on the conference committee?

JOSH
That’s what we said.

TOBY
It’s a guts move by the leadership, we’ve just got to slap it down.

JOSH
We threaten a veto, make it clear this kind of ambush is unacceptable. We should get going on a statement now.

TOBY
Make them think twice before they force another shutdown.

CJ
I disagree. It’s a bad pitch, don’t swing at it. That’s why they’re throwing it. There any doubt it would get overturned by the courts, Josh?

JOSH
Oh, it’s not likely. So far, anything short of full recognition for same-sex partners is a constitutional no-go.

CJ
This amendment is pure symbolism, it’s an empty gesture. Is that worth holding up our entire agenda?

BARTLET thinks a moment.

BARTLET
Get it off the bill, guys.

TOBY
And if we can’t?

BARTLET
Just get it off the bill.

TOBY and JOSH exchange looks.

TOBY
Thank you, Mr. President.

JOSH
Thank you, sir.

JOSH and TOBY exit.

BARTLET
Wilkinson’s more of a federalist than an ideologue, what’s he doing suggesting we override the states?

CJ
The courts will take care of that. We need this budget, sir, at the end of the day you may have to sign it.

CUT TO: INT. - RESIDENCE SITTING ROOM – DAY

TOBY
What was that about?

JOSH
Well, he didn’t say he wouldn’t veto it.

TOBY
He didn’t say he would.

JOSH
We can get this done.

The door opens and CJ walks out of the bedroom.

TOBY
You want to enlighten us?

CJ
He wants it off the bill.

TOBY
Yeah, we get that.

CJ
We’re not going to play a game of chicken in the middle of a two trillion dollar budget round.

TOBY
We’re always in the middle of a two trillion dollar budget round.

CJ
With a President who can’t make it down the stairs?

TOBY
But he’s not running again, why can’t we help him stand up for himself?

JOSH
The President made the call - let’s get it off the bill.

CJ
Josh, try and dole out some budgetary pork to members of the conference committee, see if we can get this amendment killed.

CJ’s beeper goes off, and she pulls it out.

JOSH
Okay. Maybe Sioux City needs a monorail.

CJ (checking her beeper)
I’m late for the First Lady. Toby, why don’t you share your feelings with Wilkinson, see if you can talk him down.

TOBY
With what? A threat that if he doesn’t back off, the President might actually sign it?

CJ
You’ll figure it out.

CJ walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - MURAL ROOM – DAY

DR. MIKE GORDON is meeting with ABBEY, CHARLIE, and CURTIS. As he speaks, CJ enters in the background and joins them.

GORDON
Statistically, there’s a 50 percent chance of developing secondary progressive MS – progressive because the lesions have obviously accelerated here. That’s pretty common.

CHARLIE
And you don’t know how to stop that?

GORDON
Well, give me ten years and some stem cells -

CJ (taking a seat)
Sorry.

GORDON
What we need to focus on is the best way to manage his symptoms in this unique environment.

ABBEY
That’s what this is.

CJ
What about stress?

GORDON
Can’t be good for you.

CHARLIE
Tell me about it. The before-and-after pictures around this place are intense.

CJ
No more back-to-back marathon meetings.

GORDON
No, an hour, max. His legs are going to start cramping and spasming, you don’t want him kicking out the Resolute Desk.

ABBEY
Or one of the Joint Chiefs.

CURTIS
How many hours a day can we schedule?

GORDON
Depends. Six or seven, tops – and he’s going to need a nap midday.

CHARLIE
A nap? He’s gonna love that.

GORDON
It’s the public time that’s gonna be tough – standing behind podiums, shaking hands, Cabinet meetings …

CJ
So, more on the phone, more memos, things he can read and sign.

GORDON
Too much reading may lead to optical problems, you’re probably going to have to severely limit his reading materials.

ABBEY
Oh, lord -

CJ
Anything else?

GORDON
High temperatures can trigger attacks, got to keep the Oval below 70.

CJ
Okay. So, we’ll do a daily report on the President’s condition in morning staff -

ABBEY
The bottom line is, we have to be prepared for anything, every day.

CUT TO: INT. - WILL’S OFFICE – DAY

TOBY walks into WILL’s office.

TOBY
Got a minute?

WILL
You should call first, so I can gather my wits.

TOBY
Sorry.

WILL
You’ve seen TheFederalGovernmentAreABunchOfDinks dot com?

TOBY
And what if I reject the premise?

WILL
They’re all over this CJ thing.

TOBY
Anything new?

WILL
They got her high school basketball stats. Apparently, she was All-Dayton.

TOBY
You heard about this Sanctity of Marriage amendment?

WILL
Just now.

TOBY
The President wants it stripped off the budget.

WILL
Good.

TOBY (beat)
Be nice if the Vice President made some kind of statement against it, maybe called Wilkinson.

WILL
The Vice President is pro-marriage. 

TOBY
As are we all, I’ve been married almost twice … to the same woman.

WILL
That’s … unique.

TOBY
We’re fine with it.

WILL
Okay, then.

TOBY (beat)
So the VP’ll make a statement?

WILL
What’s the President’s position?

TOBY
He wants it off the bill.

WILL
But what’s his position?

TOBY
That he wants it off the bill.

WILL
And if it stays on the bill?

TOBY (beat)
We need your help on this.

WILL
Right. This is a lose-lose for us, Toby. We come out for it, we hurt ourselves in the primaries; we come out against it, we hurt ourselves in the general. I’d have to advise the VP to wait and see where the President’s going to land.

TOBY
No, I want to kill it before it learns how to walk.

WILL
Then I don’t know what you’re doing here, you should be talking to the President about a veto.

TOBY (scoffs, turns to leave)
Good idea.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ is walking along typing into her Blackberry. ANNABETH comes up next to her and walks alongside, startling CJ.

ANNABETH
It’s getting bigger.

CJ (gasps in surprise)
Oh! Hi.

ANNABETH
I’m sorry, you wanted an update on this internet rumor?

CJ 
It’s getting bigger?

ANNABETH
Blogs are saturated with it, and now there’s a query from the Post. They’re doing a piece on strategic bloggery.

CJ (looking down at ANNABETH)
What are you, like, four-ten?

ANNABETH
Me? I’m four-eleven.

CJ
I can’t believe we’re the same species.

ANNABETH
So there’s your update.

CJ
Well, I know we shouldn’t be saying anything, but are you sure we shouldn’t be saying anything?

ANNABETH
Well, I was thinking -

CJ
I mean, it’d be great to get it off the net, but it seemed like a comment on the Sanctity of Marriage Act, plus any statement on the White House letterhead brings this from the blogosphere to just about every news outlet in the country.

ANNABETH
I was going to say -

CJ
So, not a peep? Thanks for your advice on this.

CJ heads towards her office, but is redirected by MARGARET.

MARGARET
The Democratic conferees are waiting.

CJ
Tommy didn’t call, did he?

MARGARET
Crickets. Guy’s starting to tick me off.

CJ (heading into the Roosevelt Room)
Crickets?

CUT TO: INT. - CAPITOL CORRIDOR – DAY

TOBY meets WILKINSON coming out of a meeting room.

TOBY
Senator Wilkinson?

WILKINSON
I’ve been waiting for an emissary. Figured it’d be the Vice President.

TOBY
Senator, you’re one of this country’s great federalists. You believe in state and local control of education. 

WILKINSON
I do.

TOBY
You believe in state and local control of law enforcement.

WILKINSON
Yep.

TOBY
Senator, I’m not sure you think there should be a federal government at all.

WILKINSON
Well, we lost that fight some time ago, didn’t we?

TOBY
So, why would you want an unprecedented, top-down federal mandate to govern every state’s marital laws?

WILKINSON
Well, now that we have a federal government, one thing it can do is protect our national values.

TOBY
Such as individual freedoms?

WILKINSON
Actually, I was thinking of the institution of marriage.

TOBY
When the budget’s done, let’s get a bipartisan group together to talk about it.

WILKINSON
I don’t need another thoughtful study to tell me what I know to be right.

TOBY
Senator, I’m not criticizing the sincerity of your beliefs -

WILKINSON
Well, that’s refreshing. Toby, do you believe the Bible to be literally true?

TOBY
Yes, sir, but I don’t think either of us is smart enough to understand it. The President wants this amendment off his budget -

WILKINSON
Well, if you’re here to threaten a veto, now’s the time to do it. (beat) Yeah, I’m a busy man, I don’t appreciate your coming down here with hollow threats.

TOBY
And I don’t appreciate people spreading politically motivated rumors about CJ Cregg on the internet.

WILKINSON
I don’t know how to use a typewriter, much less a computer. I think the President is going to sign it, Toby. And I think that you’re here because you think he might sign it, too.

WILKINSON gives a tight-lipped smile and walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – EVENING

JOSH opens his door and walks into his office.

JOSH (calling out)
Marla, I need the numbers for the meeting.

JOSH ruffles through folders and papers on his desk as a phone rings on his desk.

JOSH (calling out)
The earmarks, for the conferees?

The phone continues to ring as JOSH puts on his jacket.

JOSH (yelling)
Can you get that? I’m late here.

JOSH reaches for the phone.

JOSH
Geez … (picking up phone) Hello?

MARLA (on phone)
I don’t like to be yelled at.

The call disconnects with a click and a dial tone. JOSH walks out of his office and calmly speaks to MARLA, who is looking at him disdainfully.

JOSH
I would like to have the earmarks so that I can go and do my job.

MARLA
Earmarks? Is that frat-boy for pork?

JOSH
Wow.

MARLA (handing papers to JOSH)
Here you go.

JOSH (taking papers and turning to go)
Thank you.

MARLA
Three hundred thousand dollars for potato storage research.

JOSH
Starches are vital.

MARLA
How vital is 50 million dollars for an indoor rain forest in Iowa?

JOSH
It attracts tourism.

MARLA
And mosquitoes, I’m guessing.

JOSH
I’m trying to get some distinguished members of Congress to remove a hateful, gay-bashing, piece-of-trash amendment from the federal budget.

JOSH starts off again.

MARLA
By bribing them with taxpayers’ hard-earned money? 

JOSH
Yeah, I don’t know if you read the memo, but I set federal budget policy -

MATT SANTOS appears in the hallway behind JOSH.

JOSH
- You alphabetize and sort.

MATT
Josh. You, uh, got a second?

JOSH (caught by surprise)
Yeah. Come in.

JOSH leads MATT into his office.

MARLA
You’re gonna be late.

JOSH shuts his office door as he and MATT meet inside.

MATT
So, what are you working on?

JOSH
Actually, right now, trying to build an indoor rain forest.

MATT
Ah. Well, good luck with that.

JOSH
Listen, I’m, uh, sorry about landing on you in Houston like that.

MATT
My wife wants to kill you.

JOSH
Yeah, I got a lot of women mad at me.

MATT
Yeah. Well, you ought to work on that.

JOSH
I do have to go to this - meeting in a second, we got a budget glitch we’re trying to sort out.

MATT
So, would this be a package deal?

JOSH
The budget?

MATT
No, uh, I’ve been thinking about your nine-point plan.

JOSH
Really?

MATT 
Yeah. But I would like to add a tenth.

JOSH
What’s that?

MATT
You. (beat) The filing deadline’s next Thursday. I’m in … if you’re in with me.

MATT and JOSH stand looking at each other in silence.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

VICE PRESIDENT RUSSELL is meeting with a group of officials seated around the table.

RUSSELL
So, no one here is troubled that the Paper Reduction Act is more than 500 pages long? Okay, let’s just see if we can squeeze it down a little, save a couple of trees?

As RUSSELL stands to go, we hear murmurs from the group.

OFFICIALS
Thank you, Mr. Vice President.

RUSSELL steps out into the hall and encounters TOBY walking past.

RUSSELL
You can always tell a bureaucrat, but you can’t tell ‘em much.

TOBY
Unless you tell them in triplicate.

RUSSELL
Whatcha need, Toby?

TOBY
Sanctity of Marriage?

RUSSELL
Yeah. Yeah, Will gave me the heads up. He helpful?

TOBY
Not as obedient as he used to be.

RUSSELL
That’s good to hear. That’s rough about CJ.

TOBY
Yeah, it’s a rough town. Mr. Vice President, I know you don’t want to get ahead of the President on this, but we need you to come out against the Sanctity of Marriage Act.

RUSSELL
Why would I want to do that?

TOBY
‘Cause one clear signal from this White House, and I believe Wilkinson will fold.

RUSSELL
I think Will is right. I’ve, uh, I’m going to have to take a pass on this.

TOBY
Mr. Vice President, this amendment isn’t about protecting marriage. It’s about institutionalizing the last acceptable form of discrimination. 

RUSSELL
Toby, you -

TOBY
You can’t just sit back and allow the religious right to hijack the social agenda in this country.

RUSSELL
I know, look -

TOBY
Presidential campaigning has to be about more than duck and cover. This is an opportunity for you to stand up and lead, make -

RUSSELL
I’ve got a nephew who’s gay. I love this kid. His name’s Todd. I want him to have the same rights and opportunities as everybody else. He wants to go to West Point, and it makes me sick to think that we would send him into battle to defend a union, but he can’t enter into one.

TOBY
Then, come out against this amendment.

RUSSELL
We’re not there yet. Five thousand years of socialization didn’t go out the window with the first Village People album. You do this wrong, and there’ll be a backlash that sets us back 50 years. You do it right, we’ll be there in ten.

TOBY
And in the meantime … what message are we sending?

RUSSELL
We’re making progress. We’ve got, uh, domestic partnerships … non-disc-, discrimination laws … besides, demographics are destiny, the kids don’t give a damn about this.

TOBY (beat)
You would tell the President to sign this thing?

RUSSELL (beat)
I’d tell him to get his budget … and so would my nephew.

RUSSELL turns and walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – DAY

CJ comes out of her office, talking to MARGARET.

CJ
Tommy? Any Tommy?

MARGARET
No Tommy to give.

CJ heads off down the hallway, where she is once again startled by ANNABETH walking up next to her.

ANNABETH
Boston Globe wants -

CJ
Oh my God!

ANNABETH
- to know if we’re going to comment on the Wilkinson amendment.

CJ
That voice out of nowhere …

ANNABETH
MSNBC, too. MuckrakersManifesto dot com has a story that you were gonna coach in the WNBA.

CJ
That’s completely ridiculous. I went to, like, three Mystics games.

ANNABETH
Fox News – both mean Irish guys – whole bunch of websites, 11 more newspapers, and be quick about it, blah, blah, blah …

CJ
So they’re all writing about me now?

ANNABETH
Not you, exactly, but the amendment gives them license to at least mention these internet rumors.

CJ
Well, the President wants a clean budget bill with no extraneous amendment, that’s the line – and start working up a statement.

ANNABETH
I thought we decided not to.

CJ
Just in case. You know, respectful, non-defensive, live and let – not that there’s anything wrong with it …

ANNABETH
Uh, I tried that. 

CJ
And?

ANNABETH
And, I gave up, because it’s stupid?

CJ
Is that an option around here?

ANNABETH
Toby suggested it might be.

CJ
And what else did Toby suggest?

ANNABETH
That the White House Chief of Staff doesn’t get to issue personal statements that read like letters to the editor of Soap Opera Digest.

CJ reacts.

ANNABETH
Not that I’m a subscriber or anything.

CJ
I’d like a draft statement on my desk in an hour.

CJ walks away.

CUT TO: INT. - TOBY’S OFFICE – DAY

JOSH is sitting at TOBY’s desk studying a document. TOBY comes to the door.

TOBY
What are you doing?

JOSH
I got a bad temp.

TOBY
This is where you become just sad. Call Donna.

JOSH
What happened with Wilkinson?

TOBY
He won’t budge. When God starts talking to people, it kinda limits the debate. How’s the pork?

JOSH
Not having much luck with the other conferees. Carson wants 600 grand for alternative salmon products. I think we should just ditch the whole budget and open a grocery store.

TOBY
So this amendment’s gonna pass?

JOSH
People don’t want to vote against marriage. We’re gonna run out of salmon products before they’re ready to vote against church and family.

TOBY
Oh, I hate this issue, it’s like walking around town holding a sick chicken.

JOSH
If the President isn’t willing to veto this, I don’t know how we’re going to nickel and dime our way out of it.

TOBY
So we don’t even try? CJ’s caving; the Vice President thinks the country’s not ready to fight discrimination; and for all I know the President’s in the middle of nap time.

JOSH
No one wants to get near this issue. Even Hoynes is hedging – three-paragraph statement. I, can’t even tell if he thinks there should be a Congress.

TOBY
Hoynes just put out a statement?

JOSH
Yeah, said it deserves ‘thoughtful study.’

TOBY
‘Thoughtful study’? He said that?

JOSH
Straddling the political divide like an Adonis.

TOBY
He was on Judiciary with Wilkinson, right?

JOSH
Yeah, long time. (beat) So, uh, Santos stopped by. Filing deadline’s in two days. Wants me to go with him.

TOBY
To Texas, what for?

JOSH
New Hampshire.

TOBY
Why does he want to go to New Hampshire?

JOSH
To run for President.

TOBY looks at JOSH with amazement.

JOSH
I kind of talked him into it, I think I gotta go with him. I laid out a nine-point plan -

TOBY
Is one of the points a military junta?

JOSH (beat)
Okay. (standing) I’m gonna go back to my office now.

TOBY (as JOSH reaches the door)
You can’t leave, we’re not done here, you can’t skip out with the President lying flat on  his back! Seven years, you’re gonna leave us with a Candygram and a get-well card?

JOSH
Someone’s gotta think about the ninth year.

TOBY
You’re gonna walk into the Oval Office and tell the President you just found a better horse?

MARLA walks up behind JOSH.

MARLA
There you are.

There is an uncomfortable pause. JOSH turns to face MARLA.

JOSH (quietly)
Hi.

MARLA
Secretary of Agriculture is calling? Something about a fruit laboratory.

JOSH (quietly)
Thank you.

MARLA walks away. Another uncomfortable pause.

JOSH
So maybe we’ll get Carson after all. If I make any progress I’ll get you a new whip count.

JOSH walks away. TOBY stares after him.

CUT TO: INT. - OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE – DAY

LEO is looking at some slides, then turns back to the file boxes on the desk. CJ appears at the door.

CJ

You getting through all the files?

LEO
Yeah, I’m almost up to the Hoover administration.

CJ
Did Margaret give you the call sheets for the Democratic conferees?

LEO
Yep, I spoke to McKenna – he’s fine on the education offsets.

CJ
I figured you just had a heart attack, they’d have to take your call.

LEO
Hey, whatever it takes.

CJ
Drives me crazy when these guys use the federal budget as a right-wing social soapbox.

LEO
It’s a popular issue. No one wants to be the first one to line up against it; if you live your life underneath a magnifying glass, you tend to stay away from the heat. How you holding up?

CJ
I’m feeling a little over-interpreted.

LEO
The internet thing.

CJ
Am I wrong to want to set the record straight – no pun intended?

LEO
When I was Labor Secretary, the National Enquirer ran a story that I’d married Elizabeth Taylor while skydiving over New Mexico.

CJ
I’m a heterosexual … and I, I don’t know why I just said that, except that as of this morning I’m the most famous … not famous, but apparently the most powerful lesbian on the planet – when the fact of the matter is I’m crazy, absolutely crazy about this particular man I just met and had two fabulous dinners with in the space of one week, a man who hasn’t had the courtesy to call me today, probably because he is simply of the undependable gender, or … come to think of it, maybe he has even less of an idea about how to deal with my alleged and fictitious lesbianism than I do. So, he’ll just – remain silent, like a submarine under the ice cap and drift away, just drift away like the legion of other cowards whom I spend my young life staring at the phone, panting like an exquisite collie hoping for table scraps – until I became successful, and suddenly started to scare them, scare them with the very independence they required me to have, so that now, I’m looking at some bad numbers, really rough stuff, if you know what I’m talking about. But what was I supposed to do, turn down an opportunity to serve the President of the United States, who I believe in and adore? You just want to share it all with someone, you know?

LEO (after a pause, uncomfortably)
So if you want to, uh, send down any more call sheets - ?

CJ (quickly standing to leave)
Sure. No, that’d be a great idea. (stopping in the doorway and turning back) I need you to stay, Leo. So does the President.

MARGARET comes up behind CJ.

MARGARET
CJ – Toby needs you.

LEO nods slightly.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – DAY

CJ and TOBY are walking into her office.

TOBY
Wilkinson won’t move; the Vice President has chosen this moment to find his noble core; and I think Hoynes may be behind this whole thing.

CJ
Hoynes?

TOBY
We have to put the President in a room with Wilkinson.

CJ
That’s not gonna happen. How’s Hoynes involved?

TOBY
That doesn’t matter. The President has to threaten a veto to Wilkinson’s face. It’s the only way to get the amendment off this bill.

CJ
The President’s not ready to threaten a veto.

TOBY
Because you told him not to.

CJ
I’m not willing to sink the budget over this.

TOBY
Over your internet dating life.

CJ
No, over a symbol, an empty gesture that’s gonna be struck down by the courts.

TOBY
So that’s what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna pass the buck and pray for judicial restraint?

CJ
The President is resting today. We can’t haul him down here every time we can’t do what he’s asked us to do.

TOBY
You’re afraid to address it because it’ll call more attention to this garbage they’re running in cyberspace!

CJ
No, Toby, I’m too busy composing my letter to the editor of Soap Opera Digest.

There is a pause.

TOBY
Josh is thinking of leaving.

CJ
What?

TOBY
To help Matt Santos run for President.

CJ
The Congressman from Texas?

TOBY
Leo’s gone, Josh has one foot out the door. It’s you and I, we’re gonna have to run this thing. Are we gonna stand for something, or just hang around, change the sheets for the President’s hospital bed?

CJ
So we should do what, fight an amendment with no practical impact and massive popular support?

TOBY
Yes, we should fight it! Fight the symbol, yes. Symbols matter. And if they didn’t, why would you care what they say about you on the internet?

CJ considers TOBY’s words.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE RESIDENCE – DAY

BARTLET is sitting on the side of his bed, getting dressed. ABBEY enters.

BARTLET
I have to go downstairs for a quick meeting.

ABBEY
CJ called me.

BARTLET
Yeah, God forbid anyone should see me bumming around the West Wing, might think I’m actually running the country.

ABBEY
This gonna be your idea of resting?

BARTLET
It’s only gonna take a couple of minutes.

ABBEY
We have a situation here, Jed.

BARTLET
I’m starting to feel like a guest at the most secure bed and breakfast on the planet.

ABBEY
What’s so important that you’d risk your health?

BARTLET
The Sanctity of Marriage Act.

ABBEY
Oh, that old chestnut? I was hoping for at least an international crisis. (sigh) Hold the fish loosely, Jed, or it’s going to flop right out of your hands.

BARTLET
I want to put my pants on.

ABBEY
What?

BARTLET
My pants. I can’t put them on.

ABBEY 
Oh – okay.

ABBEY goes to help BARTLET with his pants, getting his legs into them.

BARTLET
‘How body from spirit does slowly unwind until we are pure spirit at the end.’

ABBEY
You gonna quote poetry now?

ABBEY grunts as BARTLET wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls himself up with her assistance.

BARTLET
So, this is why they make you take vows.

ABBEY
Yep. This is why.

ABBEY and BARTLET both sink to sit on the side of the bed, breathing hard with effort.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - WILL’S OFFICE – DAY

JOSH is waiting in WILL’s outer office as WILL hands an envelope to a staffer.

WILL
Would you overnight this up to David in Concord, please?

STAFFER (exiting)
Mm-hmm.

JOSH (entering WILL’s office)
The New Hampshire office is up and running?

WILL
Eleven of them, actually, cheaper to buy in bulk.

JOSH
Little different operation than Orange County three years ago, huh?

WILL
Well, this guy’s got a pulse, for starters.

JOSH
Hmm, technically speaking, sure. You don’t miss the romance of the upstart campaign?

WILL
Sorry to make you waste a walk across the parking lot, Toby already tried to go over my head on the Sanctity of Marriage. You want to remind him, the Vice President and I actually do talk every once in a while. You know, he really appreciates your offer to help on this NAACP stuff.

JOSH (distractedly)
Sure, great.

WILL
You good?

JOSH
How’s Donna working out?

WILL
Great.

JOSH
She have an office yet, I didn’t see her out in the bullpen.

WILL
She just headed up for New Hampshire, she’s gonna be there a couple of weeks.

JOSH
Excellent. (beat) Well, next time you see her, you tell her I say hi.

WILL
Of course.

JOSH turns and walks out.

CUT TO: EXT. - SIDEWALK – NIGHT

HOYNES is walking out of an office building, met by TOBY.

HOYNES (to staffers)
Okay, see you guys on the plane tomorrow …

TOBY
Where you off to?

HOYNES
South Carolina in the morning, Georgia in the afternoon.

TOBY
Working on your Southern strategy.

HOYNES
Eh, that or my winter tan. You could use a couple of rays yourself.

TOBY
I’m not so much in for tanning – but I’ll give it some ‘thoughtful study.’

HOYNES (chuckling)
The luxury of being out of public office, Toby – I don’t have to take a position on every issue that comes before the Congress.

TOBY
You served with Wilkinson on Judiciary Committee, right?

HOYNES
I did. He’s a good man, I mean, he is out there, but he’s for real; won’t take a cent of PAC money, it’s unbelievable.

TOBY
So you encouraged him to visit his righteous indignation down on the budget process, make Russell swing to the right on gay marriage, slay him with the Democratic faithful in the primary – it makes sense, I, I’m just confused about who the viable candidate’s supposed to be when Russell’s gone? 

HOYNES (chuckles)
You underestimate the American public.

TOBY
Generally a good policy, in my experience, I don’t trust their judgment.

HOYNES
Oh, I almost forgot, you’re working for the President of Cuba.

TOBY
I trust their aspirations. Just like all those guys in the white wigs -

HOYNES
Some of them were slave owners, I hear.

TOBY
Exactly. CJ, too, that your handiwork?

HOYNES
No. No, I feel terrible about that.

TOBY
Hmm.

HOYNES
I’m gonna win this thing, Toby.

HOYNES turns to get into his car.

CUT TO: INT. - OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE – NIGHT

LEO is still going through files. JOSH appears in the doorway.

JOSH
Hey.

LEO
So, are the queers going to destroy marriage as we know it or what?

JOSH
I have no idea. I’m … handing out pork like popsicles. Wilkinson’s coming over to meet with the President.

LEO
Thought he was staying in the residence today.

JOSH
Yeah, so did the First Lady. I’d … steer clear.

LEO
Oh, I’m not getting anywhere near that one.

JOSH
So I think I found my guy.

LEO
Yeah? That’s good.

JOSH
Matt Santos – said yes. He’s gonna do it.

LEO
Santos? Really?

JOSH
I know. I got this nine-point plan -

LEO
No, I don’t need to hear it. You smell a moment, you gotta go.

JOSH
I, I don’t want to leave you guys with just a … Candygram and a get-well card.

LEO
We’ll be fine.

JOSH
Come with me, I think this guy may be the real deal.

LEO (beat)
I already found my guy.

JOSH
I don’t know how to tell him, Leo.

A silent pause.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

JOSH is walking past the Communications bullpen as TOBY comes back in fron talking to HOYNES.

JOSH
Hey.

TOBY
Hey.

JOSH
Agriculture’s still dragging their feet on this Appalachian fruit thing.

TOBY
It was Hoynes. He wanted to force Russell to support the Sanctity of Marriage Act.

JOSH
Heartwarming.

TOBY
So, Santos, huh?

JOSH
What are you gonna do when this is done?

TOBY
Whatever I can to stave off the chaos, mayhem, and self-interest that lies just beneath our civil disguise.

JOSH
So not the private sector.

TOBY (chuckles)
The money would have to be unbelievable.

TOBY walks off to leave the building.

JOSH
See you.

TOBY
Yeah.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

There is a knock at the door and NANCY steps into the office.

NANCY
You all set, sir?

BARTLET, sitting tiredly in a chair, looks up.

BARTLET
I’m fine, Nancy. Bring him on in.

NANCY
Mr. President, Senator Wilkinson.

WILKINSON strides into the Oval Office.

BARTLET
Sam.

WILKINSON (shaking hands)
Well, you look terrific, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Thank you. Sorry I can’t get up, but I can’t get up.

WILKINSON
You’re in our prayers, Mr. President.

BARTLET
I appreciate that, Sam, I really do. Now, tell me what I can do to get your amendment off my budget?

WILKINSON (sitting)
‘Against nature; men leaving the natural use of the woman; burned in their lust toward one another, men with men, working that which is unseemly.’ Romans.

BARTLET
Would it offend you, Sam, if I said this amendment represents a selective interpretation of the Scriptures – a complete inversion of the values of Jesus Christ?

WILKINSON
No, sir, it wouldn’t offend me, I’m secure in my faith.

BARTLET
Isn’t there something in that book about forgiveness? Aren’t we all God’s children?

WILKINSON
Of course we are, which is why the government shouldn’t institutionalize behavior in opposition to our faith.

BARTLET
What gives us the right to visit our faith upon the country?

WILKINSON
One nation under God. What gives us the right not to?

BARTLET
You talked to John Hoynes about this? 

WILKINSON
John’s a friend of mine – but I introduced this amendment because I believe you want to sign it, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Hmm?

WILKINSON
You told me as much six weeks ago at the prayer breakfast – that civil unions are one thing, but that marriage is between a man and a woman.

BARTLET clears his throat and scratches his forehead.

BARTLET
I can’t stand up any more. 

WILKINSON
Sir?

BARTLET
I’ve lost my balance. Should come back, but it’s gone right now.

WILKINSON
Are you dizzy, sir?

BARTLET
No, I just can’t find my balance, it went away. I try thinking it back, but it’s difficult, because it’s not a static thing. Once it’s gone, it’s hard to imagine having it back again, and it’s disheartening to realize that thinking just isn’t gonna get it done. You’ve just got to trust that you’ll happen on to it again.

WILKINSON
You only have one more year, Mr. President.

BARTLET
Yeah, I’ve got a great future behind me.

WILKINSON
Attaching this to the budget gives you all the cover you need.

BARTLET
How is this our job, Sam? I raised my right hand and swore an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. 

WILKINSON
Where was your left hand, Mr. President?

The two men sit quietly as this sinks in.

CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – NIGHT

CJ comes down the hallway and around the corner by MARGARET’s desk. MARGARET greets her silently, holding up a finger, then leads her over to the desk and holds up a gift – an athletic sneaker with a rose and a note standing in it.

MARGARET
This was sent over from the Northwest Gate.

CJ sniffs the rose, then reaches for the note.

MARGARET
It says, ‘Oval Room at 9:00.’

CJ
Yeah. (gesturing toward the press room) Are the press still in there?

MARGARET
Yeah. (picking up a paper from her desk) This is your statement.

CJ takes the paper and heads for the briefing room.

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS CUBICLE ROOM – NIGHT

CJ comes through the door and gets everyone’s attention.

CJ
Hey … I just wanted to tell you guys that the Sanctity of Marriage Act’s been removed from the budget at the President’s urging. The conferees are moving towards a clean budget bill. With any luck, it should be on the President’s desk by tomorrow.

CHRIS
Are we on the record here?

CJ
Sure, what the hell.

CHRIS
Are you a homosexual?

CJ pulls up her statement, and is about to read from it when she stops.

CJ
You know what? … Uh, I spent the last … fourteen hours being snickered at by United States Senators, being ostracized on the World Wide Web, having my own colleagues question my ability to do my job … and I let it get to me. So I, I don’t think it really matters whether I’m gay or straight, or just the best damn women’s basketball player in Ohio Valley history, no one should be treated this way.

REPORTER
You didn’t answer the question.

CJ
That’s right, because it’s none of your business.

CJ walks away, tearing her statement in two as she exits.

CUT TO: INT. - OUTER OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH is pacing in the outer office, waiting to see the President. Finally the door opens and NANCY steps out.

NANCY
Josh? He can see you now.

JOSH slowly walks into the Oval Office, where BARTLET is sitting in a chair, looking over a document.

JOSH (whispering)
Mr. President.

BARTLET
Josh.

JOSH
How you feeling?

BARTLET
Not too bad.

JOSH
Sir, I never imagined that I would be having this conversation with you …

As JOSH’s voice fades away, we CROSS-FADE to a door with a Bob Russell campaign sticker on it. The door opens and DONNA enters. She looks around, sighs, then carries the box she is holding to a desk, where she begins to unpack it. A telephone rings, and DONNA picks it up.

DONNA (into phone)
Russell for President.

CROSS-FADE to EXT. - SCHOOL BUILDING – DAY

MATT SANTOS is making his announcement of his presidential campaign. Watching him are HELEN and JOSH, and a small crowd of Houstonians.

MATT
I wanted to start this journey in the place where it all started for me. Soon we will be inundated by the polls and the punditry and the prognostications, all the nonsense that goes with our national political campaigns. But none of that matters. This is the place that matters. Because every day children walk into this schoolhouse to glimpse their futures, to ask for hope – they may not know they need it yet, but they do.

CUT TO: INT. - OVAL OFFICE – NIGHT

BARTLET is struggling to walk, using leg braces attached to his arms. Sweating and unsteady, he moves across the carpet with the presidential seal, trying to reach his desk. As he does, we hear MATT continue with his speech.

MATT (VO)
And I am here to tell you that hope is real; in a life of trials and a world of challenges, hope is real; in a country where families go without health care, where some go without food, some don’t even have a home to speak of, hope is real.

We cut back and forth between MATT’s speech in Houston and the Oval Office.

MATT
In a time of global chaos and instability where our faiths collide as often as our weapons, hope is real.

Cut back to BARTLET trying to stand on his own, pushing his fingers off the desk, breathing heavily.

MATT (VO)
Hope is what gives us the courage to take on our greatest challenges, to move forward together.

Back to Houston.

MATT
We live in cynical times; I know that. But hope is not up for debate. There is such a thing as false science -

Back to BARTLET struggling to stand, his fingers slowly leaving the support of the desk.

MATT (VO)
- there’s such a thing as false promises, I am sure that I’ll have my share of false starts in this campaign. But there is no such thing as false hope.

Back to Houston.

MATT
There is only hope. And with your help and your hard work -

Back to BARTLET, breathing hard, as he wills his legs to hold him upright.

MATT (VO)
- and the hopes of good people all across this land -

Back to Houston.

MATT
- I hereby announce my candidacy for President of these United States.

The crowd cheers and applauds. JOSH gives a little fist pump. The final shot is BARTLET, through an Oval Office window, fighting to keep his balance and stand in front of his desk.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.

The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x10 – Faith Based Initiative
Original Airdate: January 5, 2005

THE WEST WING TRANSCRIPT: Impact Winter (S6E9)

THE WEST WING
6x9 - “IMPACT WINTER”
WRITTEN BY DEBORA CAHN
DIRECTED BY LESLI LINKA GLATTER

Transcribed by Walking, Talking, And Yelling At Clouds
(kegofglory.blogspot.com)

TEASER

IMPACT WINTER

FADE IN: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – DAY

JOSH and DONNA are sitting at JOSH’S desk. JOSH is reading a newspaper, DONNA is getting some muffins ready for breakfast. They are singing ‘Monday, Monday’ by The Mamas and The Papas.

JOSH (singing softly)
Monday, Monday …

DONNA (humming along)
La la, la la-la la …

JOSH (singing softly)
So good to me …

DONNA (humming along)
La la, la la-la la …

JOSH (singing)
Monday morning … 

The phone on JOSH’s desk rings and DONNA answers it.

DONNA (humming along)
La la … (into phone) Josh Lyman’s office.

JOSH (singing)
It’s everything I hoped it would beee … 

DONNA (into phone)
He’s got a lunch, but this afternoon’s wide open.

JOSH
(singing) Ee-eee - (to DONNA) Who is it?

DONNA
Didero’s office. (into phone) 3:00? Done. 

DONNA hangs up the phone.

JOSH
Who’s my lunch?

DONNA
Me.

JOSH
We’re having breakfast.

DONNA
We need to be able to have a conversation.

JOSH
What are we doing now?

DONNA
We get interrupted.

JOSH
Nothing’s going on here today.

DONNA
This lunch has been canceled six times, it’s going to kill you to buy me a salad?

JOSH (turning back to the paper and singing softly again)
Monday, Monday … 

He stops and JOSH and DONNA look at each other as she prepares her coffee.

JOSH (singing softly)
La, la …

The phone rings and DONNA answers it as ANNABETH knocks at the door.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman’s office.

JOSH (to ANNABETH)
Come on in.

ANNABETH walks in as DONNA hangs up the phone.

JOSH (to DONNA)
Who was it?

DONNA
Wrong number.

JOSH (to ANNABETH)
It’s a quiet day.

ANNABETH
Would you like to do the briefing?

JOSH
I really wouldn’t.

ANNABETH
You’d be quite good.

JOSH
The press room’s a mausoleum. Everybody’s on the plane, you got nothing to worry about.

ANNABETH
I’d just be more comfortable, if …

JOSH
I’m acting Chief of Staff. I don’t want to be acting Press Secretary on top of it.

DONNA (to ANNABETH)
They don’t like him.

JOSH
Just run through the schedule, and then you can skip out and do your Christmas shopping. Let me see.

JOSH reaches out and ANNABETH hands the daily schedule to him.

ANNABETH
President in China, six days of negotiation, day one, trade, WTOs, partridge, pear tree -

JOSH
Stellar.

ANNABETH
You think I should tease the North Korea stuff?

JOSH
No, if the Chinese won’t deal, we don’t want it to be obvious that everything else on the agenda was a lead up to the North Korea stuff.

ANNABETH (starting to leave)
So I’m making this put-out-the-garbage week what with everyone gone.

JOSH
Take out the trash.

ANNABETH (stopping at the door)
I’m sorry?

JOSH
Announcements we hope nobody hears?

ANNABETH
Yeah?

JOSH
Take out the trash, not put out the garbage.

ANNABETH
Okay.

The phone rings again and DONNA answers it.

JOSH
I’m just saying. It has a name.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman’s office.

ANNABETH
You don’t have anything else for me?

JOSH
Slow day.

DONNA (into phone)
Hang on.

DONNA puts the phone on speaker.

DONNA
CJ, you’ve got Josh and Annabeth.

CJ (on phone)
In about four minutes the wires are gonna report that the President’s in the midst of a pronounced multiple sclerosis episode, and for the moment does not have the use of his legs.

We cut to CJ on board Air Force One.

CJ (into phone)
We’re ditching the sightseeing, we’re staying three days, not six, but the substantive portions of the China summit will continue as planned.

Cut back to JOSH.

JOSH
They will?

CJ (on phone)
We’re playing it by ear. You got a pen?

DONNA
Yeah.

CJ (on phone)
State, Treasury, Hutchinson, the VP -

Back to CJ on the plane.

CJ (into phone)
- Berryhill’s office knows, but I don’t know if anybody got the Ambassador -

Back to JOSH.

JOSH
We’ll call, is, is he okay?

CJ (on phone)
The President’s condition in no way affects -

Back to CJ on the plane.

CJ (into phone)
- his ability to conduct -

JOSH (on phone)
We got it.

Cut back to JOSH.

JOSH
This is me asking.

Cut back to CJ.

CJ (into phone)
I don’t know. His arms are working, which is good, they weren’t an hour ago, so maybe he’s up doing the polka five minutes from now. Otherwise … I don’t know, I gotta -

Back to JOSH.

JOSH
Go. (nodding to ANNABETH) Your office, five minutes.

ANNABETH makes a quick note and exits. DONNA connects a call on the phone.

DONNA (into phone)
Josh Lyman for the Secretary, please. Right away.

DONNA hands the phone to JOSH. As he talks he starts writing something on a notepad.

JOSH (into phone)
Mr. Secretary … uh, happy holidays to you, too, sir. I’m going to need you to take me off the speakerphone for a second if that’s okay …

JOSH spins the notepad around and shows it to DONNA. It reads, “GET LEO”. DONNA turns and hurries out of the office.

JOSH (into phone)
The President’s had an MS episode on the plane. He’s not able to walk.

SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER.
***

ACT ONE

FADE IN: INT. - ANNABETH’S OFFICE – DAY

ANNABETH and JOSH are talking over the upcoming press briefing. ANNABETH is extremely nervous.

ANNABETH
I can’t do this.

JOSH
You’re just reading the statement and introducing the guys from the medical office. 

ANNABETH
They don’t know anything.

JOSH
Nobody’s heard from Dr. Strangelove?

ANNABETH
Strenlow. I think he’s busy up there.

JOSH
They’ve only got one doctor on the plane?

ANNABETH
The Surgeon General’s there, too – she’s also busy.

As ANNABETH and JOSH go out into the bullpen, WILL enters.

WILL
You didn’t brief, right?

ANNABETH
Fifteen minutes.

WILL
The VP’s on his way, he’d like to make the statement.

JOSH
She’s got it.

ANNABETH
No, not really.

WILL
People find it reassuring to hear -

JOSH
The President can’t walk. Resist the temptation to treat this like an opportunity.

WILL
It’s not a campaign stop, he’s the highest-ranking man in the building, which means, one, getting his face out there is the responsible thing to do, and two, he doesn’t need anybody’s permission to do it.

VICE PRESIDENT RUSSELL enters as they all head back into ANNABETH’s office.

RUSSELL
Good morning.

WILL
Sir.

JOSH
Mr. Vice President.

ANNABETH
Oh, good morning, sir.

RUSSELL
What a blow. I was playing tennis when I heard, I couldn’t believe my ears.

JOSH
We were just discussing your statement.

RUSSELL
I’ll just get the ball rolling and then you and the physicians can jump in.

JOSH
Sure.

RUSSELL and WILL exit as JOSH and ANNABETH look on.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE OFFICE – NIGHT

CJ, KATE, and TOBY are working feverishly at the desk updating the summit plan. BARTLET, in a wheelchair behind them, is being tended to by MILLIE.

CJ
We’ve canceled the military greeting on the tarmac, the welcome ceremony tomorrow morning, the First Lady’s flight from New Delhi lands before ours does, so we’ll see her just as soon as we touch down.

BARTLET
She’s gonna be cranky. (to MILLIE) I think she should ride with you.

TOBY
The Chinese have agreed to clear their press out of the airport.

BARTLET
Not much for freedom of the press anyhow.

TOBY
We ought to think about doing the same.

CJ
They’ve already seen him.

TOBY
Yeah, but the no-photo rule on the plane does not apply to the tarmac. We let them stay, there’s a shot of the hydraulic wheelchair lift lowering the President to the ground on the cover of every publication on the planet.

CJ
The press clears the airport before the President disembarks, pool spray first thing in the morning.

MILLIE brings a paper to CJ.

CJ
We’ll see how it goes, but - we should think about skipping the banquet.

KATE
Oh, I don’t know about that.

BARTLET
She likes the food.

KATE
It’s important they have the opportunity to impress us, the banquet in particular.

TOBY
She does like the food.

CJ
Can we send the First Lady?

BARTLET
I can sit through a meal, I’ve been doing that in a chair for years.

MILLIE
You have to pace yourself. Fatigue is a real issue.

TOBY
Maybe we let go of the Tibet conversation, cut straight to -

BARTLET
No.

TOBY
They’re not gonna budge on Tibet anyway -

BARTLET
We talk about Tibet so that they can be implacable. We talk about Taiwan so that they can hold the line against the capitalist, imperialist foe. We do it all, so that when we get to North Korea – and they agree to do our dirty work – they won’t have lost face at every other step along the way. Cancel the banquet, cancel whatever the hell you like … but we do not skip one step, not one moment, of my negotiation with President Lian.

CJ
All right, let’s see if we can’t push North Korea up on the calendar. Maybe Thursday morning instead of Friday?

TOBY
I’ll talk to protocol.

PILOT (on speaker)
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve begun our initial descent.

BARTLET
Indeed.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

LEO has just arrived and is walking in with MARGARET.

MARGARET
You can use CJ’s office.

LEO
I don’t need an office.

MARGARET
The doctors say the paralysis is temporary, but I think they’re lying.

LEO
They can’t lie about the President’s condition, that would be a crime, and one we’ve committed before, to boot.

JOSH comes up to meet LEO and take him to the press briefing room.

JOSH
A sight for sore eyes …

LEO
We could have put together a lunch, you needed to see me so bad.

JOSH
She’s about to brief, or the, Vice President is -

CUT TO: INT. - PRESS BRIEFING ROOM – DAY

RUSSELL is at the podium speaking to a noisy group of reporters.

RUSSELL
Hang on, hang on … I know, I know this is a shock to everyone. Um, I was playing tennis when I heard, uh … I couldn’t believe my ears. But I spoke to the President myself, and he was perfectly clear – this summit will proceed as planned. He is physically encumbered, but as far as we can tell right now -

We see DONNA, JOSH, and LEO watching from the office in the back of the briefing room.

JOSH
As far as we can tell?

RUSSELL
- in no way affects his mental acuity.

The reporters shout questions.

REPORTER
Has there been a cognitive evaluation?

RUSSELL
Well, we’re going to have a, uh, a detailed statement from the President’s physicians in a moment. I’m, I’m not a doctor, I’m not going to talk to you about those particulars. What I can tell you, is that I plan to meet with some of the members of the Cabinet later today to see if there’s any way that we can provide the President support as he continues to do the work of this country.

LEO
Lord almighty.

JOSH (turning to leave)
Pull Will out of there.

We hear RUSSELL continue in the background as LEO picks up a phone.

RUSSELL (VO)
The President will have a successful dialogue with President Lian in China. And once he’s back in Washington, we’ll see what adjustments need to be -

LEO (into phone)
Margaret … I’m going to need five minutes on the phone with every member of the Cabinet.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

JOSH bursts through the doors as DONNA brings WILL out another doorway.

JOSH
A Cabinet meeting?

WILL
An informal conversation with senior members of the administration.

JOSH
The President doesn’t need the Cabinet swooping in on their shining steeds.

WILL
Do you want to step into your office or something?

JOSH
The President is still running the show, on two continents, Russell can stop with the less-than-subtle insinuations to the contrary. There will be no Cabinet meeting.

WILL
It’s been announced, you don’t think it’ll be more awkward if it doesn’t happen?

JOSH
Watch yourself – you and your candidate.

WILL
You done?

JOSH
No. Free advice for the campaign trail: stop with the ceaseless mentions of his tennis game. It doesn’t make him look young and vigorous, it makes him look like a dilettante who can’t settle down with a thick book.

JOSH turns to walk away, with DONNA next to him.

DONNA
Wheels down in Beijing in a minute or so.

JOSH
A Cabinet meeting …

DONNA
You really think all the talk about tennis makes him look flaky?

JOSH
No, I think it makes him look young and vigorous.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CABIN – NIGHT

BEIJING CAPITAL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

KATE and TOBY are coordinating with Chinese representatives. KATE is having a conversation with them in Mandarin. ABBEY comes onto the airplane.

ABBEY
Where is he?

TOBY
Sorry, in the back, ma’am.

ABBEY passes between TOBY and KATE and continues to the back. KATE speaks with the Chinese representatives, then translates for TOBY.

KATE
There’s a problem with the compressor starter on the hydraulic lift, could be another half hour.

TOBY
Well, we’ve been sitting here forever, do they have a, a, a, a jetway, or something?

KATE speaks Mandarin to the Chinese representatives. They answer and depart.

KATE
Don’t hold your breath.

TOBY (as he and KATE start to follow ABBEY in the plane)
Pretty snazzy with the language, there.

KATE
Oh, not really. Second grade vocabulary.

TOBY
‘Compressor starter’ and ‘hydraulic lift’ is second grade?

KATE
It is in China.

KATE and TOBY enter the conference room, where ABBEY is talking to MILLIE. BARTLET, CJ, and CURTIS are also there. BARTLET, in a wheelchair, is uneasy and fidgety.

ABBEY (to MILLIE)
Did you run the SSEP?

MILLIE
Yes, it shows severe conduction delay, we’re at 85 percent loss of nerve function in the lower limbs.

ABBEY
Spinal cord lesion?

MILLIE
That’s our best guess.

CJ gestures to TOBY.

TOBY
Still working on it.

ABBEY
How long have they kept you people sitting here?

CJ
They’ve never used their elevator system before.

BARTLET
A forklift will do.

MILLIE
You could lie down, we’re not going anywhere.

BARTLET
I don’t want to lie down, I want to get off this damn plane.

ABBEY
Where’s Dr. Strenlow?

CJ
He’s on the phone to the lab.

MILLIE
I called the hospital here already and we’ll do an MRI as soon as we get settled.

As the conversation continues, BARTLET looks at CURTIS, then gestures him over with a nod.

ABBEY
An MRI’s not gonna tell us anything we don’t know already.

MILLIE
Maybe, maybe not.

BARTLET (to CURTIS, whispering)
Tell me your name one more time.

CURTIS (whispering)
Curtis, sir.

BARTLET (whispering)
Okay. How much can you bench press, Curtis?

CURTIS (whispering)
Quite a bit, sir.

BARTLET (whispering)
How about we stage a prison break?

CURTIS (whispering)
Absolutely.

CURTIS moves to lift BARTLET out of his wheelchair, as BARTLET wraps his arms around CURTIS’ neck.

BARTLET
Lift with your legs, son, not your back.

CURTIS carries BARTLET out of the back door of the conference room.

MILLIE
… side effects. Could be vomiting, some people get seizures – I don’t think you wanna run that -

ABBEY and the others notice CURTIS and BARTLET leaving the room.

TOBY
Mr. President -

ABBEY
Jed?

CJ
Sir?

ABBEY
Jed? What are you doing?

The group follows CURTIS into the corridor as he continues to carry BARTLET.

BARTLET
You okay?

CURTIS
Yes, sir.

BARTLET
Take your time. No need to rush.

CURTIS
Am I going too fast?

BARTLET
No, no, I’m just saying, you drop me, that’s a moment that follows you the rest of your life.

CURTIS
Yes, sir.

CURTIS has reached the doorway and carries BARTLET down the air stairs, straining with effort. The others stand in the doorway and watch.

BARTLET
You keep this up, your arms are gonna fall off. I hope somebody brings the damn chair.

CURTIS (grunting on the stairsteps)
I hope so, too, sir.

FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE.
* * *

ACT TWO

FADE IN: INT. - JOSH’S OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH, LEO, and CHARLIE are at JOSH’s desk. CJ and TOBY are on the speakerphone from China. The TV in the office is showing news coverage of BARTLET’s attack, with a headline reading ‘President’s MS Strikes Again.’

CJ (on phone)
You sure you’re okay?

LEO
I’m fine.

CJ (on phone)
I don’t want to work you into another bypass or anything.

LEO
I’m happy to help. We gonna get a photo?

CJ (on phone)
Soon.

JOSH
Good, ‘cause we got talking heads claiming he’s in a coma and we flew him to China so they could do a wax mockup like they did of Chairman Mao.

TOBY (on phone)
How are the markets looking?

JOSH
Uh, we took a hit, Dow’s down 470.

CJ (on phone)
Ouch.

LEO
We should probably get the Treasury Secretary on camera with an ‘I’m okay, you’re okay.’

We cut to a hotel meeting room in Beijing with CJ and TOBY, also on speakerphone.

CJ
And you’ve gotta dig up something to announce to the press.

TOBY
Something with the President at work. 

CJ 
Anything that makes him look active -

Cut back to JOSH’s office.

CJ (on phone)
- and not, you know …

JOSH
Paralyzed?

A quick cut back to Beijing as TOBY ends the call.

TOBY
Feliz Navidad.

TOBY hangs up and we cut back to JOSH’s office.

JOSH (to CHARLIE)
Talk to the agencies and the policy shops – we need to drum up some activity.

CHARLIE
It was trash week.

JOSH
Not anymore. We need, uh, executive orders, and the President just called the Speaker of the House from Beijing to talk about big, hairy weapons systems.

CHARLIE
All right.

CHARLIE stands up and leaves.

JOSH (to LEO)
Think you could check in at the Pentagon, maybe keep an eye on this Cabinet meeting?

LEO
No problem.

LEO stands.

JOSH
You see Vinick announcing his run for the Presidency?

LEO
Just the sound bites.

JOSH
I’ll have Donna get you a tape, you can join me in my despair.

LEO
I’ll take a look.

There is a knock at the doorway, and MARGARET appears.

MARGARET
There’s someone here from NASA, he needs to speak to whoever’s in charge and at this point I have no idea who that is.

LEO
Maybe keep the philosophical questions to yourself.

JOSH jumps up and grabs his jacket.

JOSH
I got it. (to LEO) You missed us, didn’t you?

LEO
Like a hangnail.

CUT TO: INT. - CJ’S OFFICE – NIGHT

JOSH enters the office, finding WALTER SPROUT from NASA standing there nervously.

JOSH
Thanks for waiting. Josh Lyman.

SPROUT (shaking JOSH’s hand)
Uh, Walter Sprout. The administrator isn’t here.

JOSH
Uh, apparently not.

SPROUT
We should wait.

JOSH
Who’s the administrator?

SPROUT
Edward Austin Kelwick.

JOSH
And he administers what?

SPROUT
NASA. NASA Administrator.

JOSH
You’re from NASA.

SPROUT
Program Manager for Near-Earth Object Observation. Walter Sprout. Yeah, uh, I’m sure he’s coming.

JOSH
Well, I’m going in four minutes, so we should plug on.

SPROUT
Could, could I get some water? (clears throat) Water?

JOSH
Sure.

JOSH goes to get a bottle of water.

SPROUT
I’m sorry, I just, I, I, I’ve been, uh … sweating quite a lot, and I, I think that it’s, it’s gotten me dehydrated, and, uh – (clears throat)

JOSH (handing him the water as SPROUT sits)
Okay, you need to, uh, take it easy -

SPROUT
Yeah, there’s an object. Coming toward the earth. 

JOSH
From the sky?

SPROUT
An asteroid. AS00267.

JOSH
There are a lot of asteroids in the sky, from my limited understanding.

SPROUT
Thousands.

JOSH
Well, I’m thinking you should write up a memo, uh, drop it off -

SPROUT
The LINEAR observatory in New Mexico recorded a series of images yesterday that were analyzed overnight by the Minor Planet Center in Cambridge, and their data were posted on the NEO Confirmation Page to be verified by astronomers across the globe – myself included. Now, our calculations could be wrong, but, uh … if they’re not, they indicate that an object following that trajectory would strike the Earth in approximately 48 hours.

JOSH looks at SPROUT. SPROUT checks his watch.

SPROUT
Forty-six.

JOSH
And this asteroid is -?

SPROUT
Big.

JOSH
How - ?

SPROUT
Big.

JOSH stands and picks up the phone.

JOSH (into phone)
Margaret, I need the NASA Administrator and Leo.

JOSH hangs up.

SPROUT
I loved a man once. I never told him.

(beat)

JOSH
Okay.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

GREAT HALL OF THE PEOPLE, BEIJING, CHINA

CJ and KATE are briefing BARTLET about the upcoming meeting, as CURTIS gets BARTLET situated in his chair and takes the wheelchair away. Some other members of the United States delegation are also in the room.

CJ
Vice Premier Liu and Chairman Zhing from the Central Military Commission will be in the third and fourth seats. Premier Jiang will be right here next to President Lian.

KATE
Don’t forget to thank him for allowing us to enjoy his magnificent space.

BARTLET
You want to remind me again?

KATE
It’s a big deal, he’s supposed to be sitting first, we’re supposed to approach them.

BARTLET
On our knees.

KATE
Well, yes, since you mention it.

BARTLET
The memory’s not gone. It’s next, maybe, but not yet.

KATE
‘Allowing us to enjoy his magnificent space -’

BARTLET (to CJ)
I’m gonna hit her.

CJ 
If you need to take a break, at any time -

BARTLET
I’m fine.

CJ
- just, I don’t know, tug on your earlobe or something, we’ll make something up.

BARTLET
I desperately hope you’re not serious.

CJ
It’s a three-hour meeting – I’m gonna want to take a break.

BARTLET
Then you should tug on your earlobe, and this one (gesturing to KATE) will make something up.

KATE
It’s just better if we avoid saying that you’re exhausted and need some rest.

BARTLET
You should move away from me as quickly as possible.

KATE
Yes, sir.

KATE walks away.

CJ
You ready?

BARTLET
Go ahead.

CJ gestures to the door, and the Chinese delegation, led by PRESIDENT LIAN, enters. The rest of the American delegation enters from a different door. LIAN welcomes BARTLET with a handshake and they exchange a greeting. LIAN begins speaking in Chinese, and we hear his translator speak in English.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
It is a great honor for myself, and for the People’s Republic of China, to welcome the President of the United States.

BARTLET (being translated into Chinese by his interpreter)
Thank you. On behalf of the American people I say it is an honor to be here. I would like to personally thank you for allowing us to enjoy your magnificent space.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

LEO and JOSH are walking, along with SPROUT and ADMINISTRATOR KELWICK.

LEO
I thought we had technology that detects large hunks of rock hurtling toward our planet.

KELWICK
The Spaceguard system.

LEO
Expensive, if memory serves.

KELWICK
Well, Spaceguard only detects objects over one kilometer in diameter – anything large enough to take out human life as we know it. Now, this is considerably smaller.

SPROUT
It’s 400 meters.

KELWICK
That’s considerably smaller.

SPROUT
Twice the size of the Astrodome. Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘duck and cover.’

KELWICK
A collision is improbable, but since we can’t rule it out, we felt we should alert you.

LEO
Where would it hit?

SPROUT
Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere.

JOSH
You can’t get any more specific?

SPROUT
No.

LEO
What kind of damage are we talking about?

SPROUT
You’re gonna wish you lived in Antarctica.

KELWICK
We’re waiting for another look at it, it orbits close to the sun, so it’s in our daylight 80 percent of the time. Now, Japan’s tracking it, and we may get a glimpse at the observatory in Maui next couple of hours, but they’ve had cloud cover.

The four have reached the Situation Room and they all enter.

JOSH
So we may be hit with a hunk of intergalactic rock, we don’t know when or where, and there’s no more information coming because in Maui it’s cloudy?

SPROUT
Welcome to my world.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

LIAN is talking, as we hear his interpreter translate into English. BARTLET sits listening, fidgeting a bit with papers and his glasses. He then sips from his water glass, squirming in his seat.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
… as long as both China and the United States keep eye on the larger picture … and maintain a long-term perspective, and abide by the principles in the three Sino-US joint communiques, our relationship will continue to grow and thrive …

TOBY is watching BARTLET.

TOBY (to KATE)
Does he look out of it to you?

KATE (focusing on paperwork)
What?

TOBY
The President?

KATE
Ours?

TOBY
He’s squirming.

KATE
Well, he’s probably bored. Lian refuses to move past affirming his commitment to a fruitful partnership between our two countries.

TOBY
He’s not listening. (looking around) Where’s CJ?

TOBY gets up and walks to CJ, just coming into the room.

TOBY
I think he’s having trouble.

CJ
He looks fine.

TOBY
He’s been flapping around a lot with the arms.

CJ
Is he talking?

TOBY
Yeah. But Lian’s been on a roll for a while. That -

We see BARTLET stretching out his right arm and twisting it.

TOBY
There, with the arm, do you see that?

CJ
That’s, um …

BARTLET reaches his right hand up behind his head, and begins tugging at his earlobe.

CJ
Oh, my God. He’s tugging on his earlobe. (to KATE) We gotta get him out of there.

KATE
What do, what do you -

CJ
We gotta get him out. We’re gonna pull the plug. What can I say?

KATE
Nothing that indicates -

TOBY
Just go.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
… between our two countries, is the key to ensuring a steady development of -

KATE
This is not good.

TOBY
Shhh-shhh, shhh.

CJ walks up to BARTLET as the TRANSLATOR continues. 

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
- explain to President Bartlet the Chinese government -

CJ
Pardon me. (beat) Please forgive me, President Lian …

BARTLET’S TRANSLATOR interprets CJ’s words into Chinese.

CJ
President Bartlet has an urgent call from Washington … we’ll need to take a break for just a few moments.

LIAN appears to agree.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Of course. No trouble at all.

LIAN gestures and stands.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Clear the hall.

The delegations stand and begin exiting the room.

CJ
You okay?

BARTLET
Yeah, I just gotta take a minute.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CJ, TOBY, BARROW, and KATE are accompanying BARTLET in the hallway as CURTIS pushes him in the wheelchair.

BARTLET
The plan was flawed. 

CJ
It was.

BARTLET
Ideally the recipient of the secret sign stays in the room.

CJ
Yes.

BARTLET
I almost pulled my ear off.

CJ
I had to step out for a call from Leo.

BARTLET
I thought he didn’t work for us anymore.

CJ
These things change. We should get back to him if you’re up to it.

BARTLET
Bound to be better news than what’s happening here.

CJ
Oh … you’d be amazed.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – NIGHT

JOSH and CHARLIE come through a doorway as they head towards JOSH’s office.

CHARLIE
So, is this thing gonna kill us like it killed the dinosaurs?

JOSH
It’s not gonna hit us.

CHARLIE
But if it does?

JOSH
Then, likelihood is, it hits an ocean, starts a tsunami, and, you know, surf’s up. In Illinois.

CHARLIE (handing a paper to JOSH)
Announcable achievements: preliminary diplomatic relations established with Myanmar.

JOSH
That’s a violent military dictatorship.

CHARLIE
Yes, but we establish relations, maybe we talk them out of it. Forward motion on the ERISA reform.

JOSH
We were supposed to pass it two months ago.

CHARLIE
We didn’t – but we’re moving in that direction.

JOSH
We got a press room worried that the President’s no longer fit to keep his job, and you’re giving me forward motion?

CHARLIE
There’s always the asteroid coming to destroy the planet – we could announce that.

As CHARLIE heads off, DONNA comes out of the bullpen into JOSH’s office.

DONNA
Can we do this now?

JOSH
What?

DONNA
The conversation that was supposed to happen over lunch, but that ship sailed, so let’s just have it now.

JOSH
Can’t. World ending.

DONNA
I thought it wasn’t hitting.

JOSH
Might.

DONNA
I thought there’s nothing you can do.

JOSH
There isn’t. Doesn’t mean the situation’s not to be monitored closely. Tomorrow. Lunch. Definitely.

JOSH heads off, leaving DONNA standing in his office.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

CURTIS is placing BARTLET on top of his bed. MILLIE is checking over a clipboard.

BARTLET
I just needed a break. I thought I was gonna fall out of that damn chair.

MILLIE
That’s the fatigue.

BARTLET
I feel like I got a noose around my waist.

ABBEY comes into the room as CURTIS prepares to leave.

CURTIS
Anything I can get you, sir?

BARTLET
Naw, go ahead, thanks.

ABBEY
Doctor’s on his way up.

BARTLET
I don’t want the doctor.

ABBEY
I don’t care, frankly.

BARTLET
I just need to close my eyes for 15 minutes.

MILLIE
He has to take a look -

BARTLET
He’s just gonna tell me to lie down, mission accomplished, it’s the jet lag.

ABBEY
Ha! Jet lag …

BARTLET
I have two doctors here now, clearly you don’t know what to do with yourselves.

ABBEY
It’s not the jet lag. Strenlow told you, Millie told you, and I told you that the fatigue could be overwhelming and you should take it easy. You elected not to do that.

BARTLET
Leo tells me there’s an asteroid coming to hit the Earth. Maybe we should sit quietly for a few moments and ponder that.

ABBEY is not amused.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – NIGHT

JOSH is studying some papers near DONNA’s desk as LEO walks up.

LEO
Anything?

JOSH
Uhhh … NASA’s got a clear shot in Maui. Should tell us more.

LEO (quietly)
The President’s having trouble getting through meetings. They had to pull him out.

JOSH (quietly)
He sat on a plane for 20 hours, he’ll bounce.

LEO (handing a VHS tape to JOSH)
I just looked at the tape.

JOSH
Vinick’s announcement? (leading LEO into his office) Makes you wanna cry like a little girl, doesn’t it?

LEO
It’s a tough primary for him, I wouldn’t tear my shirt yet.

JOSH
Russell offered me campaign manager.

LEO
Really?

JOSH
Turned him down. Hoynes asked, too.

LEO
Popular. You change your cologne or something?

JOSH
You think Hoynes could win?

LEO
With Baker out, Russell’s got a huge financial advantage. Sitting VP, he’s gonna raise a lot more money. And he’s in a position to offer a lot more favors.

JOSH
Hoynes is a guy without a job.

LEO
That said, Hoynes has much more experience in the job Russell holds, he was elected Senator of a huge and complicated and usually Republican state, and Russell got elected Representative of a district the size of my thumb.

JOSH
Hoynes is smarter than Russell. He’ll kick his ass in the debates.

LEO
And he’s got more foreign policy experience. It could happen.

JOSH shakes his head ruefully.

LEO
But you gotta want to work for him, and you gotta want him to win. You want that?

JOSH
I want to get Jed Bartlet a third term.

LEO sighs.

LEO
Yeah.

JOSH
What happened to the good old days when … a couple of hacks with cigars chose the nominee in a smoke-filled back room?

LEO
They didn’t do so bad, did they? Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower -

JOSH
We need a back room.

LEO
Well, we’ve just about outlawed smoking, and at this point I’m not allowed to even look at a cigar. But we’re it. You and me. This is the back room.

FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO.
* * *

ACT THREE

FADE IN: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

WEI SHUI PALACE HOTEL

CJ, KATE, and TOBY are working on items in the sitting area as MILLIE enters the room.

CJ
Anything?

MILLIE
He’s still asleep.

CJ
We asked for a 15-minute break, he’s been asleep for four hours.

MILLIE
I’m aware of that.

CJ
Okay, we split up tomorrow into shorter sessions so he can take more breaks.

TOBY
Maybe he’s only in the first hour of each one?

MILLIE
I’m not sure he’ll make it through an hour in a chair; lying down is not as physically taxing.

KATE
Well, he can’t nap through the whole summit.

MILLIE
I’m not saying he sleeps 20 hours a day, but … he’ll be much more productive if he’s not using all his energy to hold his body upright. He is the brains in the operation, right?

CJ
So staff sits in on the meetings, he’s the man behind the curtain.

TOBY
They’re gonna drag their heels if he’s not in the room! We’re gonna be talking about shrimp exports for the next three days!

KATE
We make it clear we’re running all decisions back to him.

CJ
He’s gotta show his face sometime or the Chinese, the entire world’s, gonna go ballistic, they’ll think he’s worse and we’re hiding him. 

TOBY
They’ll be right.

MILLIE
He could do a 15-minute hello.

CJ
A photo op?

MILLIE
Mm-hmm.

TOBY
Oh, he’s gonna love that.

As the group considers their options, ABBEY steps into the room.

ABBEY
He’s up.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – DAY

BARTLET is sitting up in his bed, CJ in a chair beside him.

BARTLET
Why not the first, even half-hour of each meeting?

CJ
One meeting in the morning, certainly.

BARTLET
One?

CJ
We’re the ones with the hard agenda, any excuse we give them to run out the clock -

BARTLET
The meetings can continue after I leave.

CJ
You leave each meeting after 30 minutes, Lian will take a break when you go to make sure we know he doesn’t like negotiating with subordinates, we lose half the day.

BARTLET
Are you benching me?

CJ
Eight weeks ago you told me the only way North Korea honors a non-proliferation agreement is if China agrees to be the enforcer – conducting inspections, imposing sanctions, if need be. You told me the single most tangible threat to the next three generations of Americans is a nuclear North Korea. And then you told me this was our shot.

BARTLET
Never quote me to me.

CUT TO: INT. - ROOSEVELT ROOM – DAY

LEO and MARGARET are cutting through the Roosevelt Room as they walk, on their way to MARGARET’s desk.

LEO
Call Kelwick at NASA, see if they got a read overnight.

MARGARET
How many spots are there? In the bunker?

LEO
What bunker?

MARGARET
The President’s. I mean, there’s space for a bunch of people, right? 

LEO
You throwing a party?

MARGARET
If the asteroid hits and the President, the First Lady, and 80 percent of senior staff are in China, (quietly) don’t you think we ought to sort out who takes their spots?

LEO
When did you get placed on the National Security Council, did I miss that?

MARGARET
I mean, clearly, you should go. That’s one -

LEO
In the name of all that is holy …

LEO turns to leave, back out into the hallway.

MARGARET
You might want me there to help out – is all I’m, all I’m saying.

LEO encounters JOSH in the hallway, dodging some workers putting up holiday decorations.

JOSH
Season’s greetings.

LEO
Margaret’s booking hotel rooms for the apocalypse.

JOSH
I gotta get a flashlight.

LEO
You pick your dream candidate yet?

JOSH
I don’t know how all this works.

LEO
You pick the smartest, most capable, most honorable individual you can think of, and you have a conversation.

LEO and JOSH have reached the OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE.

LEO
Ideally, before the New Hampshire filing deadline.

JOSH
I can’t pick up and leave the White House to go run a campaign for some dark horse I pulled out of a cornfield.

LEO
I did. (beat) Come on, who’s on the wish list?

JOSH
I don’t know, uh, there’s this one guy … (scoffs) Naw, it’s, uh, it’s a stupid idea.

LEO
There are no stupid ideas. Well, there are – I don’t know why people say that … but give it a whirl.

JOSH
The President can’t move his legs. NASA’s wondering if the next ice age starts on Tuesday. I gotta stay here, finish what I started.

LEO
It doesn’t finish, Josh. (walking away) It keeps going.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

DAY TWO

The summit is continuing. LIAN is speaking, and we hear his words through the translator. 

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
Our currency policy is designed to ensure domestic stability as we make the challenging transition towards a capitalist economic model.

We discover it is BARROW, not BARTLET, talking with LIAN.

BARROW
Certainly. But it’s driving our manufacturers out of the market.

BARROW’s words are translated into Chinese, then LIAN speaks again.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
I will consult with the Finance Minister. We can talk more about this in the afternoon.

TOBY
No. (beat) I’m sorry. We need to move on this afternoon. We need to discuss other items on the agenda this afternoon.

TOBY’s words are translated, and LIAN speaks again.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
The Finance Minister has discussed this with the International Monetary Fund in Washington. I cannot make a decision before I speak with the Finance Minister.

CUT TO: INT. - HALLWAY – DAY

CHARLIE and ANNABETH are walking briskly down the corridor.

CHARLIE
You briefing now?

ANNABETH
I don’t brief. I read prepared statements to the press.

CHARLIE (gesturing behind them)
Well, if that’s what you’re up to, the Press Room’s -

ANNABETH
Doing laps. Not ready to go in yet.

CHARLIE (handing her a folder)
The President just signed this executive order on the protection of federal infrastructure investments.

ANNABETH (looking at the folder as she continues to walk)
(gasp) He signed it in China?

CHARLIE
While juggling a rickshaw and a pagoda.

ANNABETH
Great, great! This is good.

She ducks under an opened file cabinet and continues hustling along.

CHARLIE
You okay?

ANNABETH
Well, the press just got wind of the asteroid story. It was bad enough with just the paralyzed President, now they’re a little overheated.

CHARLIE
You’re briefing on the asteroid?

ANNABETH
I don’t brief, but if I did, NASA wouldn’t want us commenting.

CHARLIE
So what are you gonna do?

ANNABETH
I’m gonna go in there, and I’m going to read them the President’s executive order on the protection of federal infrastructure investments. Hopefully, they’ve calmed down.

CHARLIE (pointing at the door as they keep moving)
Okay, you missed it again.

ANNABETH
Uh, I’m just, I’m gonna take another lap.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – DAY

BARTLET, still sitting in the bed, is showing a world map to CURTIS.

BARTLET
Four hundred meters in diameter, so if it hits here in the Pacific, (pointing) we’ve got a tsunami. Takes out 70, maybe 80 percent of California and the Pacific Northwest.

CJ and TOBY appear at the doorway and knock.

BARTLET
Yeah, come on in. (to CURTIS) Hitting dry land, obliterating a city, is, frankly, the optimal scenario – at least the damage is contained.

CJ and TOBY come up next to BARTLET’s bed.

TOBY
This is cheery.

BARTLET
Yeah, they got a good look at it from Near Earth Asteroid Tracking in Maui. They’ve determined it’s either bigger than we were told and farther away, or smaller than we were told and closer.

CJ
Helpful.

BARTLET
How’s it going with Lian?

TOBY
He’s dragging his heels.

BARTLET
On exchange rates?

TOBY
Says they’re, they’re not ready to float the yuan, but he’ll talk it over with the Finance Minister.

BARTLET
Did you bring up Shang?

CJ
The former President?

BARTLET
Yes, he and I talked about this three years ago. He said it would take two years, tops, to make the transition.

TOBY
They’re gonna say it took longer.

BARTLET
You bring up Shang because he’s a more powerful figure than Lian, probably still is. Lian is threatened by the very notion of Shang. You get leverage just by using his name.

CJ
We’ll bring it up when we go back -

BARTLET
You can’t go back on exchange rates, you gotta move on, North Korea’s gonna get swept right off the table.

TOBY
There’s a lot of, uh, American jobs on the line, Mr. President -

BARTLET
Job loss is gonna seem like cake in the face of three-dimensional nuclear chess, you can’t let him walk all over you!

CJ and TOBY stare at BARTLET, as CURTIS watches closely. BARTLET returns to his map.

BARTLET
The real nightmare scenario is here, the Great Forest of the North. 

CURTIS
Russia?

BARTLET
Four point three million square miles of dense forest. 

CJ and TOBY turn to leave.

BARTLET
The asteroid hits here – a shower of burning rock rains down on those woods … starts a fire that burns, till it shrouds the hemisphere in a blanket of soot and ash that blocks out the sun for weeks. ‘Impact winter,’ they call it. 

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – NIGHT

LEO and RUSSELL greet each other.

LEO
Mr. Vice President – Merry Christmas, sir.

RUSSELL
Leo, good to see you. I heard you were visiting.

LEO
Helping out for a couple of days, actually. You on your way to the Cabinet Room?

RUSSELL
Yeah, just getting a couple of folks together, see if we can’t pitch in.

LEO
Mind if I join you?

RUSSELL (beat)
Sure. That’s be great.

CUT TO: INT. - MARGARET’S DESK – NIGHT
CAROL hurries up to join MARGARET and GINGER, who are making a list for something.

CAROL
Did you put in Kyle?

GINGER
Who’s Kyle?

CAROL
From NIH. With the blonde and the cowlick …

MARGARET
Kyle’s there, Dan Rosten’s there.

WILL walks up.

WILL
Hey – can I get your copy of the Approps guidelines?

The three women look at WILL as MARGARET hides her clipboard against her chest.

MARGARET (smiling)
Sure. (through her teeth, to CAROL and GINGER) Oh, my gosh, the VP.

WILL
What ya got?

CAROL
Nothing.

JOSH comes up from behind the women as MARGARET hands WILL the papers.

JOSH
Have you seen Leo?

MARGARET
He’ll be back in ten.

WILL takes the opportunity to pull the clipboard out of MARGARET’s hands.

WILL
The bunker? Let me see that.

MARGARET
Hey!

WILL (looking at the list)
You forgot the Vice President. Some guy named Dan’s in the bunker, but not the VP?

JOSH comes up to see the list in WILL’s hands.

MARGARET
I just put him in.

JOSH
What - ?

WILL
Spots in the President’s bunker in the event of total annihilation after impact.

MARGARET (as CAROL nods vigorously)
Somebody needs to repopulate.

JOSH
Who’s Dan?

CAROL
The UPS guy. Wears the shorts.

JOSH
You’re going for beefcake? That’s how you want to regenerate the American people?

WILL
Sure, he’ll kill you an elk for dinner.

JOSH
Assuming we have elk. You gonna, put an elk in the bunker?

WILL
Somebody’s got to be there to invent the telephone. A couple of thinkers, maybe.

JOSH and WILL turn and walk away.

JOSH
Think you could do that?

WILL
What?

JOSH
Re-invent the telephone?

WILL
No, I don’t think so, no.

JOSH
Me, neither.

As the two walk past DONNA she stops JOSH. WILL continues to walk away.

DONNA
I need you.

JOSH
See? Tell them to put me on the list.

DONNA
We’re having our conversation now.

JOSH
Don’t you think it would be irresponsible for me to leave this administration before the end of the second term?

They start to walk.

DONNA
It’s a conversation about me, not you.

JOSH
I gotta get over to the OEOB.

DONNA
You have to sit down and talk to me, that’s what you have to do -

JOSH
You’re very demanding today. You and Leo, who thinks I should be wandering the American byways in search of the next President.

DONNA
I quit.

JOSH
What?

The two come to a stop as JOSH turns to face DONNA.

JOSH
Come on. No, you don’t, walk with me.

DONNA
Look at my face, I’m not messing with you.

JOSH
Donna … 

DONNA
There’s going to be a temp here tomorrow.

JOSH
Oh, for … hang on, we were supposed to have lunch, I canceled, it was crappy of me.

DONNA
This is what we were going to talk about.

JOSH
I, uh, uh, tomorrow, we - ?

DONNA
We were going to talk about where my job was going, because though working for you is an honor and a privilege, I’m ready for more and it’s not happening here and I’ve started looking and -

JOSH
Slow down, slow down. Slow down. We’ll talk about it, absolutely, you’re right. Tomorrow. Lunch. You and me.

DONNA stares impassively at JOSH as he turns and walks away.

JOSH (to himself)
She quits. Oy.

CUT TO: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL BEDROOM – NIGHT

ABBEY is lying across the bed, with paperwork strewn on it. She is talking with BARTLET in another room.

ABBEY
Ted Barrow said they’ve made some progress in the Taiwan conversations today. Are you happy with where they landed?

There is no reply. ABBEY sits up.

ABBEY
I talked to Liz. She and Doug are gonna bring the kids for Christmas. They said they may even persuade Zoey to make an appearance.

BARTLET (from another room)
They had other plans. I’m not dying, there’s no need to rush to the bedside.

ABBEY stands and starts moving to the room where BARTLET is.

ABBEY
Did you talk to Lian about the AIDS clinics? Jed? Jed …

ABBEY sees BARTLET in the bathroom, standing up out of his wheelchair, leaning against the vanity as he prepares to brush his teeth.

ABBEY
What the hell are you doing?

BARTLET
Brushing, do you mind?

ABBEY (rushing into the bathroom)
Oh, you’re gonna crack your head.

BARTLET (brushing)
I’m fine.

ABBEY (trying to get the wheelchair back under BARTLET)
Please, you’re not stable, oh -

BARTLET
Leave it alone. Abbey, -

ABBEY
- this chair is not locked down -

BARTLET
Leave it -

ABBEY 
Oh -

BARTLET
For God’s sake -

BARTLET topples over and falls to the floor by the bathtub.

ABBEY
Jed! Michael! Michael!

ABBEY rushes to BARTLET’s side as MICHAEL, a Secret Service agent, runs into the bathroom.

ABBEY
Jed …

ABBEY and MICHAEL grab BARTLET under his arms and work to pull him upright. Amidst much groaning and straining, we hear utterances from all three.

MICHAEL
Up, sir …

BARTLET
I am fine. Get out, that’s an order.

ABBEY
Oh, Jed, please -

BARTLET
Go!

ABBEY (to MICHAEL, softly)
It’s okay, it’s okay …

MICHAEL leaves the room. BARTLET is sitting on the floor, his back against the bathtub. ABBEY kneels in front of him.

ABBEY
Okay … so – now, will you let me help -

As ABBEY reaches out to BARTLET’s collar he jerks away.

BARTLET
Don’t touch me!

ABBEY pulls herself into a sitting position facing BARTLET, breathing heavily.

BARTLET
What the hell am I doing here?

ABBEY
Apparently, you like the tile -

BARTLET
Abigail, I swear to God … wasted time!

There is a pause.

ABBEY
No, it’s not. Maybe you’re not gonna skin the whole cat … but you’re gonna make some headway. 

BARTLET
Is that so?

ABBEY
You’re gonna get your North Korea talks.

BARTLET
Are you out of your mind? Lian’s walking all over my staff. I’m in one meeting the whole day. All they did was feed me tea made with tien-ching ginseng and deer horn glue. You see, it’s the thing for the nerve damage. But that meant I had to piss every 12 minutes, which is more of an ordeal than it was when I was able to stand without assistance. The new kid, Curtis, and I are becoming very close.

ABBEY
Whatever it takes.

BARTLET
We didn’t have time to get to the AIDS clinics, Abbey, I was trying to make some headway on the exchange rates. Lian just sits there and smiles and goes on and on about the ginseng and my circulation. This is their dream come true; me stuck in that damn wheelchair -

ABBEY
You tell your staff to bring it up tomorrow -

BARTLET
I tried that, do you hear me, I tried that! Decisions are made in the room! I am not in the room! I can’t do the job, Abbey. Do you understand? I can’t do it! I cannot do the job! Look at me! (pounding on his legs in frustration) Look at me!

BARTLET, breathing heavily, slumps in resignation as ABBEY looks at him.

FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE.
* * *

ACT FOUR

FADE IN: INT. - BEIJING PRESIDENTIAL SUITE – DAY

DAY THREE

BARTLET, in his wheelchair, and CJ are going over the final schedule of the last day of the summit.

CJ
A few shots of you signing the agreement, maybe a handshake with Lian; it’s the White House photographer, not the pool, so we can shoot chest-up if you’d like to stay in this chair …

BARTLET
You can get a cardboard cut-out, they have those here, don’t they?

CJ
Mr. President – it’s not all we hoped for, but we’re laying groundwork for the future. Secretary of State’ll come back next month, take a stab at the North Korea talks.

BARTLET
Mm-hmm.

CJ
We’ll knock this off, as quick as we can, and we’re back on the plane.

BARTLET (looks off into the distance)
The asteroid has entered our daylight. No getting another look. Now we just wait for loud noises. (beat) Let’s go take some pictures.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

BARTLET and LIAN are signing agreements together at a ceremonial desk. The delegations of both countries are gathered behind them as photographers snap pictures.

BARTLET
I’m sorry we weren’t able to arrange a one-on-one meeting.

Remarks are translated back and forth, between Chinese and English, as LIAN responds.

LIAN’S TRANSLATOR
We had many fruitful conversations with your advisers.

BARTLET
Yes. Yes.

PHOTOGRAPHER
Now, just the two Presidents, please. If you could all step aside, thank you.

BARTLET and LIAN pass the documents between themselves as the members of the delegations walk away from the desk.

BARTLET
I wonder if it would be possible to say hello to former President Shang before we left the country.

LIAN takes notice of what BARTLET is saying as the translation continues.

BARTLET
I met with him on a number of occasions, as you know, and our talks were always exceptionally fruitful. It would be nice to sit together again. (leaning in towards LIAN) Just two old men.

LIAN reacts to these words. BARTLET leans in again.

BARTLET (whispering)
You speak pretty good English, don’t you.

We cut to the center of the room, where CJ is coordinating with a photographer after the signing ceremony has ended.

CJ
You got enough of the signing, right, it’s just the handshake you need?

PHOTOGRAPHER
Mm-hmm.

KATE comes up to CJ.

KATE
CJ, they’re going.

CJ
Who?

CJ and KATE, joined by TOBY, turn to see BARTLET, pushed by CURTIS, and LIAN heading into a side room.

CJ
What - ?

The door is pulled closed, with just the three men inside.

CUT TO: INT. - WHITE HOUSE FOYER – DAY

The foyer is decorated for Christmas with a large lighted tree in the center of the room. JOSH and CHARLIE are walking past on the way to JOSH’s office.

CHARLIE
We got preliminary budgets from everyone but Transportation. They said you knew why.

JOSH
You ever work on a campaign?

CHARLIE
No.

JOSH
You gonna work on the next one?

CHARLIE
The Presidential? Maybe. I don’t know.

A MAN walks up and hands JOSH a note, then steps away.

MAN
Josh.

JOSH
Thanks.

CHARLIE
Assuming we get something from Transportation by the end of the day, CJ’s gonna want marked-up copies from you next Wednesday so she can look at them before she talks to OMB.

JOSH finishes reading the note and hands it to CHARLIE. JOSH strides towards his office, announcing the news to his bullpen. CHARLIE follows him.

JOSH (loudly)
Ladies and gentlemen … the asteroid has passed us. The world is not ending today.

The staffers in the bullpen laugh and applaud. 

CHARLIE (reading the note)
‘Asteroid AS00267, traveling at a speed of 22,356 miles per hour -’

JOSH looks over at DONNA’s desk. A temp worker, MARLA, is sitting at the chair.

CHARLIE (continuing to read)
‘ - missed the Earth’s atmosphere by 73,400 miles and is now receding toward the sun.’

There is more applause as JOSH continues to look glumly at MARLA.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

CJ and TOBY are pondering the situation as other members of the delegations talk amongst themselves.

CJ
How long can he sit up?

TOBY
Doctor said maybe 30 minutes.

CJ
What are we at now?

TOBY (checking his watch)
Seventy-two.

BARROW comes out of the side room and walks up to CJ and TOBY.

BARROW
He wanted to know the exact numbers on how much uranium the South Koreans enriched on that test.

TOBY
Because … ?

BARROW
I don’t know. He asked for the numbers and then he kicked me back out.

CURTIS leans through the doorway of the side room.

CURTIS
Ms. Cregg? The President would like the translators back in there.

CJ heads for the translators as TOBY’s phone rings.

CJ
Gentlemen? Would you go back in, please?

TOBY hands his phone to CJ.

TOBY
Leo.

CJ (into phone)
Leo – the President’s in a room with Lian, they won’t let anybody in there. They’re talking about God only knows what, and the Surgeon General predicted he’d flop over dead if he tried to keep at it this long.

We see LEO sitting at the desk in the OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE.

LEO (into phone)
I was gonna tell you the world’s not ending, but maybe it is.

Back to CJ in Beijing.

CJ (into phone)
The asteroid passed.

LEO (on phone)
It passed. We live to fight another day.

Back to LEO at the White House.

LEO (into phone)
Wasn’t wheels-up a half hour ago?

Back to CJ.

CJ (checking her watch; into phone)
That was the idea.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – DAY

JOSH walks up to MARLA at DONNA’s desk.

JOSH
Hi.

MARLA
Can I help you?

JOSH
Where’s Donna?

MARLA
Who’s Donna?

JOSH
You’re sitting in her chair.

MARLA
The blonde girl?

JOSH
Yeah.

MARLA 
I’m Marla Worisky. I’m covering this desk for a few days. You need something?

JOSH
I’m Josh Lyman, what are you … ? (pause) You’re a temp, she’ll, uh, she’ll be back in a few days, you said?

MARLA
She got a new job, I think. I’ve got her cell if you want to give her a call.

MARLA writes down a number on a sticky note, tears it off and holds it up for JOSH.

CUT TO: INT. - MEETING ROOM – DAY

CJ, ABBEY, and MILLIE are talking.

MILLIE
You have to pull him, this is not a good idea.

CJ
If he’s having trouble he’ll say something.

MILLIE
It’s been an hour and 40 minutes -

CJ
I know.

MILLIE
I mean, there’s a cost at this stage in his disease.

ABBEY
The President’s made his choice, Millie. He’ll come out when he wants to come out.

We hear a door open.

CJ
Here they come.

ABBEY
Finally.

CURTIS pushes BARTLET into the room in his wheelchair, LIAN and the translators follow. BARTLET hands some papers off to KATE.

BARTLET
You’ll have to check that very carefully, their translator’s spelling ain’t what he thinks it is.

ABBEY comes up to take BARTLET’s hand.

ABBEY
It’s about time.

BARTLET
He’s a talker.

As KATE looks through the pages, TOBY and CJ come up to see.

TOBY
What the hell is it?

KATE
It’s a seating arrangement. The North Korea talks.

CUT TO: INT. - OLD PRESS SECRETARY’S OFFICE – NIGHT

LEO is looking through some papers. JOSH walks to his doorway.

JOSH
Donna quit.

LEO
Donna Moss?

JOSH
She’s gone.

LEO
You piss her off?

JOSH
I don’t know. She has a new job.

LEO
Good for her. See, I tried to tell you this. People move on.

JOSH seems to come to a realization as LEO walks out of the room.

CUT TO: INT. - JOSH’S BULLPEN – NIGHT

JOSH walks quickly up to MARLA at her desk.

JOSH 
Marla, I need you to make me a plane reservation as quickly as you can, I need to go to Houston.

MARLA
Texas?

JOSH
Yes.

MARLA
Hang on. Hang on, let me get a pen.

JOSH (shouting across the room)
Janet, put me on the next flight to Houston.

JANET (VO)
All right.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CABIN – DAY

ABBEY, CJ, TOBY, MILLIE, BARTLET (in his wheelchair) and CURTIS have just boarded the plane and are giddily walking down the corridor.

CJ
I could kiss you on your married mouth.

ABBEY 
Watch yourself.

CJ
Did you have to give in on satellite technology?

BARTLET
Yes, but on a five-year plan.

TOBY
Buys us time to get an agreement on non-military uses.

CJ
You’ve got potential, sir, you ought to think about running for office.

BARTLET (laughing)
Ha!

CJ (to TOBY)
I want Leo on the phone, have you seen my cell phone?

TOBY
I had it, I gave it to somebody.

CJ
I would like to be the one to tell Leo McGarry this son-of-a-gun lassoed us a North Korea summit.

BARTLET smiles and happily shakes hands as he rolls down the corridor, but then his face tightens and the smile disappears as he nears his room.

CJ
The man is a force of nature.

TOBY
I want a tape. Curtis, the only member of the administration to witness the negotiation for what may be the summit of the century -

CURTIS rolls BARTLET into his quarters, along with ABBEY and MILLIE, as CJ and TOBY happily talk in the corridor, then head to their seats.

TOBY
- did he not sneak on a tape recorder?

CJ
I don’t think he did.

TOBY
Wasted opportunity.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE PRESIDENTIAL QUARTERS – DAY

MILLIE
They’re planning a ticker-tape parade out there.

ABBEY walks up to face BARTLET. The look on her face changes from happiness to concern as she sees him up close.

ABBEY
Oh – you sweat right through your clothes. Better get you out of this chair, come on, Curtis - give me a hand, will you?

BARTLET
I need – I need a minute.

ABBEY
Millie?

MILLIE walks up, and she and ABBEY begin unbuttoning BARTLET’s shirt and loosening his tie. BARTLET is sweaty and straining.

CUT TO: INT. - AIR FORCE ONE CORRIDOR – DAY

CJ is on the phone, TOBY standing next to her.

CJ (into phone)
April. Two days of talks in Beijing with North Korea, South Korea -

TOBY
Japan!

CJ (into phone)
Japan, China’s agreed to get aggressive with North Korea if the inspections fall apart.

CJ chuckles as MILLIE walks briskly by down the corridor.

CJ (into phone)
We had none of this. We were bailing on the whole idea.

CJ’s demeanor changes as MILLIE and some others rush back into the Presidential quarters.

CJ (into phone)
Leo – let me call you back.

CJ hangs up and stands. She and TOBY look down the hallway into the President’s room as MILLIE and who we assume must be Dr. Strenlow enter. Another person is readying an IV stand. ABBEY walks to the doorway and closes it.

CUT TO: EXT. - OUTSIDE SANTOS’ HOUSE – NIGHT

HOUSTON, TEXAS

JOSH walks up a patio towards a house. We can hear Christmas music playing and the sound of children’s voices. JOSH looks through a window, seeing MATT SANTOS and a few kids decorating a Christmas tree.

MATT (inside the house, to a child)
… that’s your angel, you broke the wings off the angel.

The children laugh and giggle. JOSH walks up to the door and rings the bell. We see MATT heading for the door, with other adults, apparently family members, also there in the house.

MATT (inside the house, talking to the kids as he heads for the door)
Put that angel down. Put it down. Put that angel down right now, put it down.

MATT opens the door and is surprised to see JOSH there.

MATT
Wow. Hi.

JOSH
How ya doing?

MATT
You lost?

JOSH (beat)
Could be.

MATT (gesturing)
Come on in.

JOSH comes into the entryway.

JOSH
I’m sorry to bug you at home … but there wasn’t time to wait for you to get back to Washington.

MATT
I’m there next week.

JOSH
I’m on a bit of a deadline. It’s a filing deadline.

MATT
Oh, Josh, Josh, Josh …

WOMAN’S VOICE
Matt?

JOSH
It’s a little crazy, I know.

MATT
I’m not running for Congress again, Josh. Now, you came a long way, I’m sorry about that, but it’s just not -

JOSH
I’m not talking about Congress. 

There’s a pause as MATT starts to realize what JOSH means.

WOMAN’S VOICE
Matt, where’s the box with the tinsel, honey? Have you seen it anywhere?

MATT and JOSH stand, silently regarding each other, as a couple of children run up the stairway behind them.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
* * *

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The West Wing Transcript
Episode 6x9 – Impact Winter
Original Airdate: December 15, 2004